What Do You Even Say After A Student Goes Up in Flames?

Voicemail: [00:00:00] I see a flash of light and I turn and look, and a student had covered his arm in Acts body spray. And then lit it on fire and it went up in a giant plume of fire.

Andrea: Have you ever wondered what I would say if my mother and my administrators weren't watching every single thing I do on social media? Well, that's exactly what my standup show is, and I'm gonna be coming to a town near you super soon. You can get tickets@educatorandrea.com.

Hey, teacher besties. Welcome to How to Survive the Classroom, you guys. I just had the most insane weekend. So you guys know about the teacher's lounge that I've been doing with Gasper and Phil, and this was the second weekend of shows that we have done. So we went and we had two [00:01:00] shows this weekend. One was in Tempe, Arizona.

And the other one was in Irvine, California. And here's the thing that I think a lot of people maybe don't know about getting into the comedy scene, is that even if you have a lot of followers online, that doesn't necessarily translate to people coming to shows. And so when Gasper reached out like last fall, he, you know, we all kind of were like, you know, maybe we'll sell.

A hundred tickets. 200 tickets. It could be fun. You never know. And then we had that opening weekend in February of last year and it went really well. And we sold out Chicago, which is a venue of like 400. Um, and we're like, oh, we might actually, like, this might be a thing. And then we had this weekend and we sold out both venues and the venue in.

Irvine was like almost 500 seats. The venue in Tempe was like 450, and we got to meet so many incredible people and it was so much fun. And truly it is [00:02:00] also guys just so much fun for the three of us to get to like. Hang out with all of you and thank you in person for your support. Um, and it's really cool to be like touring with them because they're also incredibly grateful.

Like there's not one of us that doesn't realize like, what a cool opportunity this is. Um, so it was super, super fun. Uh, check the dates teachers lounge live.com for if we're coming to, um, a city near you, but I just have to say Tempe, Arizona. What? On God's green Earth is the deal with that heat? I can't. I knew that it was hot.

I've been to Arizona before, but I forgot what it was like to be nestled so closely to the bosom of Satan's taint. That was that heat. You guys was outrageous. It was outrageous. Like that is not a temperature that sustains life. It was 101 degrees when I landed at midnight. That's crazy work. It was so hot.

Um, and I came in obviously separately from the guys 'cause we all come from [00:03:00] our, our various places we're from. And so Gasper went, um, and arrived that first night and he went to get some food. And while he was hanging out there, a woman was like chatting with him at the bar, right. And he's like, okay, well I'm gonna go get some food.

And she's like, okay. Can I, can I come with you? And he is like, sure. Like I'm just going across the street to get some tacos. And she's like, great. And they get in an elevator and she's like, or we could go to your room. And he's like, for what? And she basically said that like, oh, well, you know, for $600 we could have a really good time.

And you guys like, I was not there for this. This is, this is the story that has been relayed to me. Um, but he said he was like, there was like a full beat of like. Wait for, for this, for the sex, like, and he and his immediate response was $600. Which, [00:04:00] like none of us, like gasper. Phil and I talked about it later and we're like, is that a lot or a little for a lady of the evening's time?

And does that include the whole night? We had a lot of questions, but apparently she got a little offended when he was like, $600 and she's like, yeah, um, you think I would do this for free? And he is like, oh, like I thought we were just gonna go get tacos across the street. I didn't, I thought we were just friends like.

Which like is so funny to me. And I was like, Jasper, what was she dressed like? Like was she dressed in like a way that was maybe advertising something? She's like, I dunno, she was dressed like it was hot out, like, like a, like a bikini top at the bar. And I'm like, wait guys, the OBL that it takes to like spend all of this time.

And he said that there was a guy with her. Who she had been chatting with on the other side and he was just like, whatever, like, you know, like he didn't think anything was happening, [00:05:00] which is like the most gasper thing is to like get propositioned by and then kind of rejected. By, um, a, uh, a lady of the evening, so there you go.

And then we had a big discussion of what we all thought it would cost. 'cause $600 just is a very large amount. And we're like, I don't, is that normal? We, none of us know the going right, unfortunately. So we weren't able to illuminate further on whether or not that was considered like a good rate. For services rendered, but who's to say?

Um, it was a lot less of a, um, auspicious arrival. When we got to Irvine, we flew after our show in Tempe. We immediately left, went to the airport, flew to Irvine, and then stayed in a hotel in Irvine and then had our show on Sunday. And the show was just, it was absolutely incredible. I got to hang out with my podcast team minus Rob because he was doing dad things.

Um. But I also got to meet Omar, Ben V who [00:06:00] I always, you guys might recognize the, the name because I say it at the end of every episode. Um, and so it was really, really fun. A former student was there and it's so funny because. You would think that the fact that she came all the way, she and her boyfriend, both of whom I taught, like the two of them, came all the way from like San Diego up to Irvine, hour and a half-ish drive.

I, she's sitting in a really good section, like upfront. There's all these people here to see me. And I stumbled over my words when I was making one of my jokes. Um, and I could see her out of the corner of my eye cover her face in mortification. And you would think that like given the context of like, I'm here doing this, like this is, you know, people are here to see me, like she would maybe be able to ride with me a little bit more.

Nope. Nope. She immediately was like, cringe. This is embarrassing. Like. Which I did call out the fact that like my siblings [00:07:00] and my, uh, former students were at the show as well, and it was just, man, guys, it was such a ride. So make sure you come to the show, uh, next time we're in your CI city or around your city.

'cause we are, we're worth the drive. Even my former student. I think so. So, um, without further chit chat, um, I'm really excited to hear what you guys sent in. So let's go ahead and listen to the first voice memo. 

Voicemail: Earlier this year, I had a little girl show up to my third period class. She was hardy. She walked in and immediately all eyes turned to her because coming in with her is the smell of light.

Stinky skunk weed, like real dirty weed, you know? And so I quietly chat an admin assistant and said, can an AP please come up here and get this kid? She's high as a kite. She's like falling off of her stool and can't sit up. Right? Um, so they come and they get her, the AP asks her and [00:08:00] she's like, no, I didn't smoke anything.

And he was like, well, we obviously can't, um, prove that she's not lying. They can drug test, but okay. And he was like, well, we'll just give you a change of clothes. And then they sent her back to class. The next day they come to me and they're like, Hey, we need like her sketchbook and all of her stuff.

She's gonna be suspended for the next three days and then she's going to DAEP, which is our. Discipline, disciplinary alternative school. Um, and I said, why? What's going on? And they said, well, she was caught smoking weed in a stairwell. Um, and she's also drunk because she has a water bottle full of vodka.

Oh 

Andrea: my gosh, dude. The, that's the thing, you know, number one, the fact that she was somewhat upright with a water bottle full of vodka. And while high is insane to me, I cannot even imagine trying to function af while drinking vodka. [00:09:00] Vodka is the one alcohol that like all of my, my both my brothers and my sister and I cannot drink.

We have found, I don't know what it is about that alcohol specifically, and it's funny because I even have Googled it to try and figure out like, okay, why is it that this alcohol. Does what it does to our system. But everything I find is like, no. It's just about the amount of alcohol you drink in a certain amount of time that will impact you.

It's not really related to the alcohol itself and its impact on, you know, how you feel the next day lies. That's a lie. There's no way, because the only time I've thrown up is from vodka. It's just the worst. I, you know, and in those situations too, where you have a student who's coming to class who is obliterated, you are kind of stuck.

Like, I'm immediately annoyed that admin sent her right back to class. But they're right. That like it to a certain, and maybe we shouldn't be saying this too loud, but like. We're not [00:10:00] allowed to search bags in most states, like I know most places I worked like you weren't allowed to search their bags, so you couldn't check and see.

You kind of had to catch them like red handed in order to actually do anything about it. So that makes it really, really difficult to to deal with the situation because a student can be very obviously high, but. Like, and it's also one of those things, there's not really a breathalyzer that I'm aware of.

I know that they do urine tests, but that doesn't show whether or not it's actively, like, are you high right now? And depending on the state and the age of the student, like if it was an 18-year-old student, um, then I guess potentially they are. Legally allowed to, which also makes me wonder something. I have a question for all of you, depending on where your states are.

So tell me what state you're in and what the policy is for your school district. Because there are a lot of states now where marijuana is legal. I [00:11:00] know a lot of teachers that it's usually gummies that they will use as like a, a sleep aid or anxiety aid, like later in the evenings. And I, when I was in California, like we still got drug tested.

Um, when we got hired, even though it was technically legal for us to use it recreationally, um, they still would drug test you because it was still against like the. The law of, I don't even know, like trying to remember the, the statute because there are like morality statute in teacher contracts, which is really interesting that in today's day and age that there are some things that they're like, you're a teacher, you're not allowed to do that.

So I'm really curious if you guys have a policy in your school district, what is the policy? Can you smoke weed on the weekends? As long as you're not coming to school high or anything like that, could you lose your job? If it came around and people found out, because that is the problem, right? Like what if it's [00:12:00] legal in your state to smoke weed and you're at the beach with your friends on a Saturday and you are smoking weed with your friends.

Then a family comes by and sees you like. I could see people getting very, very uncomfortable with that. Right or wrong, like that's just how it always is. In the same way that I remember when I first started teaching. I didn't live in a dry county. I didn't teach in a private school my first job, but it still was one of those things where I remember sitting in orientation and the principal was like, Hey guys, like so glad you're here.

Just as a note, like, yes, there is a bar in town, but we would request that if you're going to drink, um, please go to like one of the neighboring towns. Get some alcohol, which is wild because alcohol is not illegal like at all. And they were still like, yeah, but like, we don't want students to see you [00:13:00] enjoying yourself.

That would be a bridge too far, you know? Um, so I would love to hear, put in the comments like where you live and what the policy is because I'm trying to, I, I'm pretty sure I got drug tested at all my teaching jobs. But I do know that the drug test that I received that was the most rigorous, right? So the jobs I've done, I worked for the government, I worked as a contractor, I worked as, um, a lifeguard.

I worked obviously as a teacher and as a, at a university. But the job that I got, the most rigorous drug testing was when I worked at Legoland, California. They did a urine sample and they did the hair sample. So they didn't just wanna know if you. Like, we're like recently on drugs. The hair sample I think goes back like months.

So that to me was one of the weirdest things, was like, welcome to Legoland, you are never allowed to do drugs ever. Um, which at that, at that point [00:14:00] marijuana still was not legal. Um, 'cause this would've been, oh, I just realized how long ago it was like 22. Years ago, it was my first job. I worked at Legoland.

Um, so yeah, I, I'm very curious about that. And I also, I was recently talking to somebody who said that the, um, they basically, they're a, the middleman for staffing. Emergency medicine, flight people, so like the pilots, the paramedics, all of those people that are like the, the people that come in. If you have to be life flighted out of somewhere, and regardless of whether or not you live in a town or a city or a state where marijuana is legal, if you pop on one of those, you can lose your license because that's like a mandated thing that you're never allowed to basically.

Use those substances. Um, which I thought was really interesting too, that like, it's not just teaching where there's some extra razzle dazzle. [00:15:00] Um, also in the medical field it's, you know, pretty illegal, I would say frowned upon, but I'm pretty sure it's illegal. I'm pretty sure you can lose your license if you pop on a drug test, which, you know, I don't want anyone cutting me open with that either.

So there you go. But yeah, I'm super curious, so let me know. Um, all right, let's jump in to the second voice memo sent in. 

Voicemail: Honestly, I have so many, but the most, or one of the most memorable was when I was giving a state test to my ninth graders at the end of the semester. This was years ago before we took the test online, so it was paper test, and if students were finished with the test, I had taken up the test materials.

I was counting the documents and counting the Scantrons and putting them in numerical order. And I look out of the corner of my eye, I see a flash of light. And I turned and look, and a student had covered his arm and ax body spray and then lit it on [00:16:00] fire and it went up in a giant plume of fire. So I had a student who literally lit himself on fire during the state test.

Of course, thankfully the alcohol just burned off and then the fire went out and I was like, come here. And I called him over and I was like, what were you thinking? His response was, don't lie.

Andrea: Here's the thing that I'm most grateful for in that story is that she had already collected the tests because a lot of people don't realize this, if you've never had to proctor a test before, is that if there is any, what they call abnormality during the test, they don't want to use that data. And so a lot of times if you have a student that acts up, that throws a fit, that starts arguing, getting loud, there's a million different things that can happen that can register as like an abnormality.

In the testing environment. And if that happens, then the [00:17:00] school has to go and they have to report it to the state. All of the students that are stuck in that classroom with those student, with the student that like did whatever it was like let their arm on fire, um, they have to retake. They have to retake their test.

Um, it's so funny that you, uh, brought a story about standardized testing and what did you, I'm so curious what you said when you said you thought it was cool because it probably did look kind of cool, like not safe. Not a good choice. Not the right choice. We're not condoning lighting ourselves on fire, but like the fact is just like whooshed up and then went away like that is kind of awesome.

Um, but I was recently talking to a friend of mine and we were talking about how to evaluate student progress, and here's something that. I've been thinking about quite a lot recently because we've got all of these students that are taking standardized tests and we know like there's not even a question.

We know that those tests are written from a [00:18:00] specific cultural perspective and a specific point of view. So a student who lives in rural Iowa. Is coming to it from their cultural perspective versus a student that lives in Los Angeles in the city is gonna come to it with a different cultural perspective.

And maybe the tests are written from somebody at an ed tech company in Chicago, right? And so. There's a lot of stuff in there that goes into these tests that are kind of unconsciously being put in there. And if a student doesn't understand the cultural references, if they don't understand the vernacular that's being given, then you end up testing them more about the cultural knowledge that they have as opposed to what you're actually trying to evaluate, like science and math and English and all of that kind of stuff.

And so that was one of the big. Things that has been kind of levied against all of these standardized tests, right, is that we've got all of these students from very, very diverse places and cultures and backgrounds [00:19:00] in the United States, and we are then going to evaluate, evaluate them with. A standardized test and that's not great.

But then somebody, you know, the very next question is, okay, then what do we do? Because we want to make sure we have good teachers in the classroom. Um, and it's funny because I feel like the conversation has shifted over the past few years, especially from do we have good teachers in the classroom to do, we have teachers in the classroom because.

The desperation has kind of started to mount of like, what are we gonna do? And in the state of Indiana, I was in a meeting yesterday and they were talking about how in in the STEM field in particular they had in the state of Indiana, and I, I can't cite this because this is just what a colleague said, but he said when they looked at the role of what teachers were licensed last year in the state of Indiana, there were two teachers that were newly licensed in chemistry last year.

Two. [00:20:00] In the whole state, which means if you're gonna study chemistry and try go pre-med or something, and you live in the state of Indiana, in all likelihood, you are not going to be taught by a teacher that has been licensed in that subject. And so we're, we're like trying to figure out, okay, like how can we make sure that the teachers are really good quality and that we are evaluating them fairly, but also at the same time, it's like we just need people.

Please, please come, come to our schools and become a teacher. And that has been one of the really interesting things for me working in a college right now in a state that is not very supportive of university education is now we're being asked like, what are you doing to encourage people to come here, to become teachers?

And I'm like. You realize that's a problem that's a lot bigger than me. Right? Like I, I know I would love for people, I, you know, we help with tours, we do all these things, but it's like, the problem is, is so much bigger than [00:21:00] me sending out flyers saying become a teacher at Indiana State. Right? Um, and so it's something that I've been thinking a lot about as like, okay, how do we equate progress in learning to a standardized test we know is not fair.

Is there something we can do to make it more fair? And I don't have an answer for that. Sorry guys. I don't, I know I kind of built into it like maybe I did. I don't, um, I want to, I want there to be a better way to make sure that we are both supporting teachers and helping them and keeping teachers accountable.

Um, I hate that. I hate the way that that sounds because I feel like that always sounds like a Gotcha. Um. But I mean, and we've, we've all known teachers that were not incredible and teachers that gave other teachers a bad name and I think we all would be good if they didn't work in the profession anymore.

Right. Um, but a vast majority of teachers are doing everything they can with not enough resources. And so I think part of what we should be looking at with those standardized tests is, okay, great. We're looking at these school [00:22:00] districts where the test scores are maybe really high. Okay. Where did they write the test?

What all, all of those other stuff, right? But then also, what resources are those teachers being given that other teachers are not in the, in the lower scoring areas? Because most of the time that's what you end up finding out by those tests is what are the, the, like the surroundings of those schools.

Like are they given resources? Are the teachers supported? All of that, I feel like is the biggest. Indicator that comes from standardized tests and not actually the intelligence or the ability of the students within those schools. So. Okay, we are gonna take a very quick break and then we will be right back with a really, really cool and free resource for you.

In honor of Back to School season, I am partnering with Cozy Earth to celebrate and support teachers. I would not be here today without the incredible teachers. That made such an insane impact on my life. I mean, I had this English teacher who loved [00:23:00] me and cared about me. She dared to hold me accountable and challenge me, which let me tell you, at the time was.

A lot to ask for, and there is no way I could be doing what I am now without her profound impact on me. During the month of September, you can nominate a teacher who's made a life-changing difference. They'll be entered to win a massive giveaway, and if you're a teacher or a professor like me or a faculty member yourself, cozy Earth is giving you.

50% off all month long, which is like, that's insane. 50% off. Just head to cozy earth.com/teachers to nominate and to access your discount. That's cozy earth.com/teachers and recognition of teachers everywhere. Cozy Earth is committed to giving teachers the very best at home. Hey, teacher besties. Welcome back.

Okay, so I feel like because there has been the Hamilton trend recently, that's why I'm pointing you towards this resour resource in particular. Um, if you go [00:24:00] to. Library of congress.gov or oc.gov. Um, you can find a bunch of free classroom materials. So we're looking at like lesson plans for how to teach different parts of history, lesson plans, um, and, and I'm looking at things that like.

I taught when I taught American Lit. So if you are somebody who teaches history or American literature or anything like that, this could be a really helpful resource for you. Um, it just now occurs to me as I'm talking that I don't know if any of this has been changed recently. But, um, it is something to kinda look at.

Uh, there is, uh, the first thing I noticed on here was one, like I said, I taught American Lit for three years. So there's one that's letters from an American farmer, and that is a 1782 letter that I use with my AP language class. And so there's this whole student guide directions, all of that, free resources, [00:25:00] super easy and cheap, which we love.

We love free, we love cheap. They even have presentations on here. Um, they have a bunch of stuff on geography looking through right now. Um, city and regional history. There's not a lot there though. I bet. It's just like New York and DC. It doesn't actually look like it's that regional, but it does separate it out.

Grades three to five, six to eight, nine to 12. Um, so there are some really good stuff on there. They also have really good photos on there. So it looks like a bunch of original photographs, um, which can be really, really nice as like an icebreaker or a prompt. Like you post that picture and be like, Hey, you have five minutes to tell me what you think is happening in this photo.

Um, and that always is a great way of like. Getting your students thinking critically right before class has started. So, um, a non-AI tool for a change for you guys. So again, it's oc.gov/classroom-materials, and then there's a bunch of stuff on here that [00:26:00] hopefully could be really helpful for you and save you some time in your classroom.

Um. Alright, so something we decided that we want to do is, um, I have a lot of strong opinions on things. Um, you already heard some of them today, but we're gonna jump into another one. Um, we have a new segment called The Hill I Die on if a school district decides that the teachers can't get a raise because of funding cuts or anything else like that, then the superintendent should also not get a raise.

And I know that some of you guys are like, obviously not, but let's be. So for real, we all know districts where none of the teachers got a raise and the superintendent got a signing bonus and a raise. So unfortunately that happens all the time. And that is a hill I'm gonna die on. Alright guys, so if you have things, I also, by the way, if you have a [00:27:00] hill that you absolutely die on, especially related to education, feel free to reach out and tell us about it.

Or if you have crazy stories, anything that's happening because school year has started, again, I wanna hear about it. You can submit your voicemails@podcastorandrea.com, and if you wanna email me, you can do it, andrea@humancontent.com. Or you can contact me on Instagram or TikTok at educator Andrea, or you can contact the whole Human Content Podcast family on Instagram, TikTok at Human Content pods.

And thank you so much to those of you guys who left a review, and if you haven't done it yet. Do your homework, go leave a five star review, share it with somebody, all that good stuff. Um, and if you wanna check out the full video episodes, they're up every week on YouTube. Thank you so much for listening.

I'm your host, Andrea. For our executive producers are Andrea Forche, Aaron Corny Rob Goldman, and s Shahnti Brooke. Our editor is Andrew Sims. Our engineer is Jason Portizo. Our music is by Omer Ben-Zvi. Our recording location is Indiana State by College of [00:28:00] Education. To learn more about how to survive the classroom's program disclaimer and ethics policy and submission verification and licensing terms, you can go to podcaster andrea.com.

How to Survive the Classroom is a human content production.

Thank you so much for watching. Want more of how to Survive the classroom? You can watch more episodes right now. Just click on that little box over there. You see it? And if you haven't yet, please subscribe. Okay, bye.