EPISODES & TRANSCRIPTIONS

ORDER MY NEW BOOK (AVAILABLE NOW)!!! — https://bit.ly/49CZ5A0⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠It is officially summer, teacher besties, and I have made a HUGE mistake. I decided I wasn't going to pay for summer camp this year, which means I'm home with my own children, who can apparently sense when I'm overstimulated and somehow get closer AND louder. This week's How to Survive the Classroom is a wide-ranging chat that takes us from Gerry's truly unhinged childhood Holocaust summer camp, to the ethics of ghost tours, to the dark history of New Orleans, to the new-teacher essentials you do (and definitely DON'T) actually need.Then I get on a soapbox about the real hill this week: the federal Department of Education said it was going away, and somehow Linda McMahon is still posting mandates on Instagram. We also briefly fall down the rabbit hole of Stone Cold Steve Austin running for office and the MMA stadium being built on the White House lawn, because of course we do.

ORDER MY NEW BOOK (AVAILABLE NOW)!!! — https://bit.ly/49CZ5A0⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Gerry and I are joined by Funny AF top six finalist and stand-up comedian Winston Hodges, who, before he was making Kevin Hart, Chelsea Handler, and Kumail Nanjiani laugh on Netflix, spent four years teaching at a school for kids on the autism spectrum in Virginia.Winston shares some of the wildest classroom stories I've heard on this pod, whether it's getting hit with a globe mid-Civil War lecture, becoming the school's unofficial crisis negotiator, or the one-month average staff retention that meant his coworker Marissa quit on day TWO. He also explains why special education teachers are tough as nails, and how working with kids on the autism spectrum made him weirdly elite at managing other comedians' meltdowns.Then we go fully behind the scenes of Funny AF. Who ran the light by ten full minutes and genuinely thought they killed, the conversation about his late dad that got cut, why some sets got e…

ORDER MY NEW BOOK (AVAILABLE NOW)!!! — https://bit.ly/49CZ5A0⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I bombed a comedy show in New Orleans this weekend, and Gerry and I are unpacking every chaotic detail on this week's How to Survive the Classroom, from the venue surprise-merging me with another show, to the broken mic, to me literally apologizing to Kevin Hart in my anxiety dream that night.Then we finally dive into the Canvas hack and how Gerry's school was down for FIVE days. We dig into how the breach actually happened, why district-issued phishing tests are honestly the pettiest thing in education, and the unhinged disgruntled-employee email saga I once lived through that the district quietly scrubbed from every inbox overnight.

ORDER MY NEW BOOK (AVAILABLE NOW)!!! — https://bit.ly/49CZ5A0⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Are these new teacher red flags or green flags? This week we play a back-to-school hallway game ranking the behaviors that tell you exactly what kind of colleague you're dealing with, from Bitmoji classrooms to teachers who don't drink caffeine to anyone clickety-clacking down the hallway in stiletto heels.Then we get into a question I have been wrestling with hard: should teachers use AI to grade essays? We dig into what AI gets right, what it gets wrong, and the bigger danger of "internet consensus" quietly replacing real critical thinking in our classrooms.

ORDER MY NEW BOOK (AVAILABLE NOW)!!! — https://bit.ly/49CZ5A0⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Have you ever booking a show in New York City only to realize there are so many comedy giants there that you can barely sell a dozen tickets ? Because that is exactly the humbling moment I’m bonding over with today's guest, the insanely talented Steven Rogers! Steven works with absolute legends like Nate Bargatze and Brian Regan (who actually produced his special), but he had to cancel a New York show tonight for the exact same reason . Talk about a fast kinship .We are diving deep into what it truly means to "work clean" in a business that often relies on shock factor, why Steven refuses to change his jokes just to fit a late-night TV slot, and don't worry, we bring it right back to the classroom . Gerry highlights how 13 years of comedy writing mirrors teaching perfectly: if you stick to the exact same routine and refuse to change with the world around you, you lose your connection with your audience.…

ORDER MY NEW BOOK (AVAILABLE NOW)!!! — https://bit.ly/49CZ5A0⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I’m wrapping up my semester and Gerry is surviving quarter four, but honestly, we’re both just exhausted from a weekend of comedy. Gerry has been out here opening for Joe Dombrowski and doing guest spots with Josh Johnson from The Daily Show, no big deal!We’re getting real about the "success through failure" mindset and how that translates to the classroom. Sometimes you take a big swing with a lesson plan and it just... doesn't hit. We dive into the "apathy epidemic" teachers are facing right now and why some of us are just too tired to cajole students who have mentally checked out.Also, things get a little... messy. Gerry shares the most embarrassing story involving a Target, a classroom chair, and a gamble on a fart that he definitely lost. Plus, my dog may or may not have used my pant leg as a fire hydrant before I went to work. Write in and tell us: what’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done …

ORDER MY NEW BOOK (AVAILABLE NOW)!!! — https://bit.ly/49CZ5A0⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠We are back with part two of our Mother's Day special, and this time the spotlight is on Gerry’s mom, Melanie Potoka! Not only is she the woman who raised Gerry, but she’s also a fellow educator who’s been in the game for 10 years teaching fifth-grade math and science. Melanie drops some major truth bombs about Gerry’s childhood, including the fact that she was actually shocked he became a teacher since she figured he’d be a preacher or a sports broadcaster.We dive into Gerry’s legendary costume phase (Elvis! Pirates! The Situation from Jersey Shore!) and why he currently has five Spider-Man "dolls" within arms reach while we're recording. Plus, Melanie spills the tea on Gerry’s high school days, including the time a teacher threatened to kick him out for saying the book The Giver sucked, and honestly, Gerry still stands by that review.We also talk about the "gummy bear war" and the "little ma…

ORDER MY NEW BOOK (AVAILABLE NOW)!!! — https://bit.ly/49CZ5A0⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I have a very special guest today, the woman, the myth, the legend: my mom, Candi Neal (aka Mama Neal).Mama Neal is here to spill all the tea on what I was really like before the PhD and let's just say, eighth grade was a "spicy" season. From my mom literally snitching on my dress code violations to the principal to her calling me out for being a "pill" on a school trip, we are diving deep into my "rule-follower to a fault" childhood. Plus, I finally show off my weirdest special skill: rolling my tongue like an ocean wave.We also discuss why my husband Steven is basically the real-life Ron Swanson and how my mom used to hide rotten bananas to magically turn them into banana bread. Happy Mother's Day!

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The box finally arrived. My book is officially here! I’ve worked on it for years, but now that I’m holding it, I’m having a total crisis. I can’t even look at the pages without feeling nauseous.. Gerry, of course, thinks I should just popcorn read it to my students like it's a fifth-grade class and carry it around like a dictionary.Speaking of things that make me want to disappear, we’re talking about "insane" professional development. I’m sharing my trauma of being forced to pass Fruit Loops from person to person using a toothpick during a high school assembly, which, from a distance, looks exactly like you're making out with a 50-year-old colleague. It was a dark time.Plus, Gerry is coming for the "anonymous" commenters in his local teacher Facebook group.. If you’re going to talk smack about your school or your coworkers, Gerry has a message for you: put your name on it an…

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Have you heard the news? Apparently, the First Lady thinks we might need robots in the classroom. Today, Gerry and I are breaking down the "AI humanoid robot" pitch and why we’re a little skeptical that a faceless machine can handle a middle schooler with a paperclip and a dream. Gerry is convinced that unless the robot has lasers to keep the kids in line, it’s basically just an expensive target for classroom chaos.We also dive into the networking vibes of Gerry’s recent comedy festival, where he successfully dodged seeing any students or parents in the wild. Plus, I’m getting heated about the "subject matter expertise" myth. Just because you have a degree in biology doesn’t mean you know what to do when a student starts crawling under desks or picks a "pee corner" in your room.Write in and let us know: would you rather have a robot co-teacher or a random person off the street?…

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Have you ever booked a hotel so sketchy that even the Uber driver took one look and canceled the ride? Because that was my weekend in Essington, Pennsylvania. I’m joined by Chicago-based interventionist and comedian Jayson Cross, who, despite being 47, looks like he’s microdosing youth because he hasn’t aged a day since 2001.We’re settling a major debate: is it worse to bomb in front of 30 paying comedy fans or 30 middle schoolers who have to see your face every day for the next six months?. Jayson breaks down the "cleanup crew" life of an interventionist, and Gerry admits he’s basically a classroom dictator because "whatever gets you to follow me on Instagram" is his new motto.Also, we’re back on our medical nonsense (sorry, not sorry). Gerry finally learns that he does, in fact, have a prostate, while I try to explain why a kindergartner’s insult feels like a literal knife to t…

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I have a confession to make: I am officially eating my words from last week. My husband, who actually went to Yale for medicine, informed me that basically everything Ms. Dugan and I said about male anatomy was 100% wrong. We had the confidence of straight white men, but we were batting zero.In this episode, Gerry updates us on his "stroke of thunder" snow day (which was actually just a regular storm) and his new hobby of doing glamor shots for his Spider-Man "dolls", excuse me, action figures. Plus, we dive into the world of "Fuglers," which are quite possibly the most upsetting stuffed animals I’ve ever seen, yet Gerry owns five of them.We’re also talking about the "food desert" of healthy fast food. Gerry is officially on his health king journey, but he’s ready to crash out over the fact that a side of fruit at Chick-fil-A costs more than a literal chicken combo.

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Today, we're joined by my fellow high school English teacher and total girl’s girl, Miss Molly Dugan. We’re diving into the absolute chaos of being a teacher on the internet, from people trying to pit us against each other to the "sourdough baddie" comments that have basically become an inside joke at this point.We also get into the trauma of being bullied by our own students. Molly shares a story from her early teaching days about getting "dumped" and having 28 eighth graders basically tell her she’s going to die alone. Plus, Gerry explains why he crashed out in his classroom this week.Write in and tell us: Have your students ever bullied you into changing your life?

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My kids were sick. My husband was sick. My babysitter got sick. Somehow I was the only one left standing, which honestly felt suspicious.Meanwhile, I was traveling for shows in Washington, DC and Philadelphia, performing for teachers… and accidentally for a group of 40 people who absolutely did not know who we were.So naturally Gerry and I had a lot to discuss. We talk about the chaos of teaching during flu season, the unhinged things students say to teachers’ faces, and the advice every new teacher needs before stepping into a middle school classroom.There’s also a heated debate about movie theater etiquette, a surprisingly philosophical conversation about insults from students, and the passive-aggressive teacher phrases that somehow become second nature after a few years in the classroom.And somewhere in the middle of all of that… we discover that Gerry’s students think he look…

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Gerry came to my house for the Indianapolis show, insulted my daughter’s dental hygiene via the Tooth Fairy, may or may not have been exposed to Flu B, and then drove 11 hours home fueled almost entirely by marshmallows.So yes. We have a lot to unpack.We talk about the Terre Haute experience (including Gerry’s pilgrimage to the Larry Bird statue), the movies Gerry somehow managed to avoid his entire life, and why he believes Monty Python and the Holy Grail might be one of the worst films ever made, which is an absolutely unhinged opinion.There’s also a very important moment where Gerry publicly shoots his shot with one of my friends, a discussion about the truly shocking things parents would hear if they spent one day in a classroom, and multiple interruptions from my children who apparently believe recording a podcast is the perfect time to ask for snacks or show me injuries.

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Teacher besties… I turned 39. Which means, naturally, I decided to spiral publicly and create “52 Weeks Until 40” as content instead of processing my feelings privately like a normal person.This episode has everything. Gerry trying to convince me to buy Crocs as a personality pivot. A listener question about burnout that feels way too real this time of year. My best life achievement (which unfortunately involves a cafeteria and questionable liquid). A very honest conversation about doing less in your classroom and surviving licensure requirements without losing your mind. And… a confession from Gerry that I genuinely did not see coming.We talk about burnout while trying to become a teacher, why you don't have to Dead Poets Society every single lesson, and what student behaviors absolutely would not survive in corporate America.Somewhere in the middle of all of that, we discover that some…

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Matt Eicheldinger is back and somehow since the last time he was on, he’s casually signed over a dozen book contracts, written across multiple age ranges, and is now launching a dystopian trilogy. Meanwhile, I’m still over here arguing with copy editors about commas.We talk about what self-publishing actually looks like, what happens when Kirkus reviews decide your book is either brilliant or from the devil himself, and how middle schoolers might actually be the toughest literary critics alive.Matt shares the premise of his new YA trilogy, a flooded world, a foster teen, hardcore preppers, and a mysterious place called “The Hill”, and we get into what it feels like to pivot from autobiographical humor to dystopian survival.

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Teacher besties… this episode has everything: licensure panic, conspiracy theories about teacher testing companies, medical dramas I probably shouldn’t have described in detail, and one first-year teacher who is being absolutely swarmed during passing period.Gerry is in his final form of teacher paperwork chaos, grinding through the edTPA like it personally offended him, and I may or may not have gone on a small rant about why some of these hoops exist in the first place.We also debate whether PE teachers really need a Praxis (Gerry has thoughts), spiral into television recommendations that absolutely should not be watched with children nearby, and answer a classroom management question that I know so many of you are living right now: how do you survive those first five minutes of class without losing your mind?Plus, we share irrational classroom pet peeves, discuss why students absolutely…

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Gerry is back after what can only be described as the Ice Age: Wake County Edition, we compare notes on barely meeting our students, and I realize, once again, that trusting Facebook teacher groups might be a dangerous choice.We also talk about something huge in my life: my husband decided to try stand-up comedy for the very first time… during my show… with zero warning to anyone. Watching him crush five minutes on stage somehow made me more nervous than any set I’ve ever done myself, and Gerry’s reaction alone was worth it.From there, we spiral (naturally) into comedy venues that feel like side quests, students who refuse to pay to see their professors perform, the deeply unserious idea of giving extra credit for attending comedy shows, and the absolute audacity of calling planning time a “gift.”And yes, I climb onto a hill I’m fully prepared to die on, this time involving taxes, reading le…

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Teacher besties… this episode is a little heavier than usual, but it’s one I felt I needed to record exactly as it is.Lately, the news cycle has been overwhelming, and as teachers, we don’t get the luxury of tuning it out, because our students bring it straight into our classrooms. In this episode, I talk honestly about what it feels like to be asked to “say something,” why nuance disappears online, and how impossible it can feel to hold space for kids who are scared, angry, confused, or all three at once.I share why structure can be one of the most compassionate things we give students during chaotic times, how I’ve navigated these conversations in my own classroom, and why empathy has to come before ideology when kids are involved.Then, we pivot, because life doesn’t stop. I respond to a first-year English teacher who is cheering out loud while grading student writing (yes, really), reflect …

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠⁠I’m fresh off Teacher’s Lounge shows in Seattle and Portland (cities I was told to fear, but absolutely adored), and Gerry is coming back to work after a winter break so long it fully erased his sense of time, purpose, and identity.We talk about Pacific Northwest vibes and play a game that asks the important question: is this a student insult… or a Portland restaurant?Then we pivot into teacher reality: the story of a teacher arrested over a “private” Snapchat, what that means for how we vent, joke, and exist online, and why context doesn’t always save you anymore.We also dive into the grossest things we’ve ever seen in student backpacks, hypothetical snakes in classrooms, science teachers with emotional-support lizards, and the hills we are absolutely prepared to die on as we stumble back into the school year.

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — ⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/43BquPd⁠⁠⁠Teacher besties… this episode is what happens when you let me and Gerry talk long enough to uncover each other’s secret side quests.I found out Gerry is casually coaching middle school basketball, we unpack why coaching parents somehow feel less terrifying than classroom parents, and I confess that my basketball career was built almost entirely on effort, fouls, and one accidental broken nose.We also get into musical theater respect, drama teacher burnout, and the teacher red flags that instantly make you question the vibes. We also talk about the deeply humbling experience of hearing what students really think you look like when they think you’re not listening.Plus, we tackle a Would You Rather that exposes the fantasy of “saying whatever you want at work,” debate poop patrol versus state testing, and I plant my flag firmly on a hill involving people who describe themselves as “just blunt.”

Teacher besties… this episode officially marks a new era, and honestly? It’s already unhinged. I’m joined by Gerry (yes, that Gerry), and we immediately get into important topics like whether Terre Haute feels like witness protection, why Florida keeps rewarding me while Jerry watches from afar, and how I accidentally ended up hanging out with an NSYNC member in a fancy room full of extremely rich people.We also talk about New Year’s resolutions that feel suspiciously like punishment, the ongoing grading spiral, why middle school books sometimes hit harder than “grown-up” books, and the eternal debate of which boy band you’d actually want to survive a tour with.Plus, we dive into airplane etiquette (someone flossed), teacher Would You Rather questions that reveal way too much about school systems, and why Gerry’s geography confidence remains… ambitious.It’s chaotic. It’s conversational. And it’s exactly the energy this podcast is moving into.Takeaways:The moment I …

Teacher besties… I am recording this episode with teeth that feel like exposed electrical wiring, so if I sound unwell, it’s because I am unwell. I decided to get my teeth professionally whitened, and let’s just say the pain level was somewhere between “natural childbirth with a broken epidural” and “why did I do this to myself.”But vanity drama aside, this week I’m talking about the real chaos. Second graders chanting suspicious initials, and a recess mystery that may or may not have involved children unknowingly shouting a swear word. We'll also discuss the ongoing saga of my unfortunate last name, and the moment my husband revealed he once ran a black-market lamination scheme to get into a basketball game.Plus, I’m sharing why now is the perfect time to be your classroom’s Agent of Chaos, the website that gives you instant science/math magic for K-8, and the massive show update I’ve been waiting to announce.