When All Your Students Misunderstand the Assignment… Guess Who’s the Problem?

HSC.EP.079_Final Voicemail: [00:00:00] When I returned, I died laughing. I was like, please, please tell me that there's a stack of penis drawings on my desk for me to look through. But. Sadly for me, the principal threw them all away. Andrea: Hey, teacher besties. I am so excited to share with you that my book, they never Taught us, that is available for pre-order right now. It. Everything in experience first year teachers need to manage the chaos of the modern classroom, including some anecdotes to make you feel a little bit better because if there is a way you can screw up, I have probably done it. It also has advice on how to build trust with families, how to manage grading and lesson plans and IEPs and everything in between that they never went over in your teacher prep program. They never taught us. That is available everywhere right now for pre-order. Hey, teacher besties. Welcome to How to [00:01:00] Survive the Classroom. Um, I, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. I went to St. Louis this last weekend. It was incredible. I have to tell you specifically about St. Louis because the people that, when I went to St. Louis, every single person was like, you need to get toasted ravioli. And I did not know that was a thing. I had never experienced a toasted ravioli and I didn't get it before the show because let me tell you about something about doing these comedy shows and traveling and all of that. I immediately feel ill before every single show. My go bag now is just a bunch of medications for various gastrointestinal distress. And I had, because I'm so dumb, I ate hot Cheetos the night before, so I was suffering right before my show. Um, and after the show it's always like miracle. I feel a hundred percent again. Right? And so we went to this little like bar down the street and I got toasted ravioli. If you have not had the pleasure, they are essentially just like a normal ravioli that has like. I don't know if [00:02:00] it has bread. I think it has some kind of like Italian seasoning bread on, breading on it. And they taste like they're ba, I guess they're baked, but they kind of taste fried and they're crunchy. Fantastic. 10 outta 10 would recommend. Can't wait to go back so that I can have more toasted ravioli. It was amazing. The show was amazing. It was just the absolute best. And if you have not yet come to one of my shows, please do either with teacher's lounge or solo shows. I'm having the absolute best time. Um, and coming back from these shows, I'm always trying to play catch up and. The grading right now, and I know you guys are in it too, because it is like holiday season. We're dealing with all of the different stressors of personal life stuff and then on top of it, we are expected to now grade the things and my students just finished up their field experience. So I've been running all over, like trying to make sure I get to all of these classrooms, give them feedback, do all of that, and then at the same time, they are also having to submit all of this writing to me. And so I got really behind on it and I finally sat down and started going through. And you know how it is after you've assigned something that you feel like [00:03:00] you did a good job explaining. Um, the first few that come in, you're like, okay, well clearly they didn't get it right. Like, these, these kids weren't really trying, they didn't look at the resources. I gave them all of that. But then after about three, if they're still not starting to get it, you start to like reevaluate your entire life, like uhoh. Oh no, maybe it's not them. And I had that experience, which really sucks because it was this big paper that they were working on. And I'm like, I don't know that I did a great job explaining what they were supposed to do. So we finally got back in person and I posted a video about it on TikTok and Instagram. And it's so funny because most of them follow me. And so they were all like, what did you screw up with our stuff? Like, we haven't seen our stuff back yet. Like, what did you screw up? I'm like, oh, dang it like. So not only did I screw up, but then they came in and were like, yeah, we know, we know it's fine. But we also know, um, and I realized this is the, as being a college professor, especially now, I feel extra guilt about [00:04:00] this, is that I assigned a book for them to, to purchase for the class, and we haven't used it yet. It's not a, it's not like a $400 book, it's like a $25 book, but still, um, it's teach like a Pirate, which is one of my favorite books. But now I'm like, that's a great point. And we have three weeks left of class, so we will be doing something with that book in the next three weeks. Thank you for pointing that out. And also, it's a book that I think they could use as a resource, like going forward. So it's not, even if we didn't even open it in my defense class, even if we didn't open it, it's still a really good book to have as a resource. But I did feel. Incredibly guilty. 'cause I was like, oh, dang it, I screwed up how to instruct this. And then definitely we have not opened that book yet. So if you're going through that right now, please know you're not alone. And sometimes we have to sit there and eat a little bit of crow because man, guys, the, the struggle is, is so brutally real. Um. And, you know, with the holidays and stuff, I, I love so much how elementary [00:05:00] teachers get so into the festivities, right? Like, my son came home yesterday and was telling me that they went on a field trip and they have this Indigenous Peoples Museum in. In town and he went around and so he is telling me about the first Thanksgiving. And actually it was, it was a pretty accurate depiction. And I asked him, who he hung out with me, told me is this girl's name. Um, and I was like, oh, that's nice. I haven't heard you talk about her before. And he is like, yeah, mom, she's beautiful. I was like, oh, is she? And he says, yes, she's beautiful. I love her. And I was like, wow, this escalated so quickly. This is the first time I'm hearing about this girl. I was like, is she in your class? She in kindergarten? He said, yes. And I was like, okay. I was like, well, what do you like about her? And he said, she smells like cherries. I was like, oh, great. He said, no, not cherries, flowers. I was like, this kid is so in for it. I was like, oh, that's great. Like what does she look like? And he said her hair is. Golden. And I'm like, [00:06:00] okay, poet, calm down like you're five. And he just kept talking about her. And I was like, that's great. Who, who else did you hang out with? And then he mentioned another girl's name. I was like, oh, I don't think you've mentioned her. And he said, yeah, she's beautiful. And I'm like, oh no. I was like, she's beautiful too. He said, yeah, I'm gonna marry them both. And I was like, no, you can't do that. And he's like, why not? And I was like, you only get one wife. You only get the one. And he is like, okay, well, I was like, at least in America, like there's rules you get, you get the one. And he said, there's other places you can marry to. And I was like, oh boy. He's like, yeah, bud, there are. And he said, where I'm gonna go there? And I was like, you can't just this kid guys, I'm already worried. I'm like, he immediately is like, well I'm gonna, I'm gonna marry these beautiful women, obviously. And then he also asked me, he said, um. Are they, is, are they gonna be, are they gonna look the way they do now when they get older? I was [00:07:00] like, well, no, people change. They look different as they get older. And he's like, Hmm, because you know, he wanted to make sure she's beautiful now, but is she gonna be beautiful later? And I'm like, we gotta, we gotta adjust that my guy. We gotta look at, you know, some other things that we're looking for in the people that we spend our lives with. But, ugh, this kid guys, he's gonna, he's gonna give me all the gray. Hair. Um, all right. I wanna hear what's been going on in your classrooms. So let's go ahead and listen to the first voice memo. Voicemail: So, the other week at my school there was this boy, we gonna call him Timothy. And Timothy goes to his room, which he's supposed to do. He goes to his class, puts his stuff down with everybody else, and gets in the back of the line to head to lunch right by, gets to lunch, and Timothy's not there. Uh, they go back to class. Timothy had stayed back in the room, pulled his pants down, pooped on the floor, smeared it into the soles of his shoes, and walked around the room. I'm talking, walking [00:08:00] around the room between every seat. Stood up on chairs, stood up on the table. He un he doesn't look like he hit like a little boogie or something on the desk, right? Like just smear it everywhere. And a teacher comes back and he's like, Timmy. What'd you do? And he just goes, what? Like this was normal. Like they were wrong for asking him why he poop danced all over the classroom. It was crazy. Andrea: No, I like, what do you even do in that scenario? Like you come in. You come in and there's just like poop everywhere to that extent. I don't, I just, I've been rewatching the office super fan episodes and I just rewatched the episode where somebody poops in Michael's office on the floor and he has to have like the carpet replaced and all of that. Um, and I feel like it would feel a lot like that where you just, you come in and you, I, hmm. Because the first thing you would have to do is make sure that you have somewhere else to teach the rest of the [00:09:00] day at the bare minimum. Um, and then that feels like, especially if you know who did the poop smearing and redecorating, I feel like at that point you don't really have any other options other to, than to suspend. But then I guess like maybe the janitor would be called and brought in to help clean. There's no way there's guys like it. The amount of prep classes that we have taken, all of those little computer based trainings, let's say if it's wet or if it's sticky and it's not yours, don't touch it like that is like the poop smeared on the walls. It's absolutely what we've been training for, but I don't think that there's any world in which I would be willing to do that. But then that means that the janitor is gonna be the one who has to do that, and I don't think they get paid enough for that either. I just number one, criminal charges immediately like that. There's no way. There's absolutely no way. I also feel like you guys [00:10:00] tell me if I am crazy on this. I don't feel like kids are pranking the way that they did in like, I don't know, the early two thousands. Like when I was in high school, if you wanted to do a prank, number one, feces generally not involved. Um, unless you cheated on somebody and then. Maybe someone would poop on your car. Um, but like, I feel like for the longest time it, there would be like this fun back and forth prank war of like tee peeing people's houses. Do people tee pee anymore? Is that a thing? Like one of my neighbors recently got tee peed and I was like, Aw, look at that. It's happening. But I hadn't seen that before then in. So long, and I don't know if it's just 'cause toilet paper is so expensive, but I even remember when we were in high school, our parents would get really mad if we took the toilet paper from the house because it's like the good tee pee. So you'd have to go to Walmart and get like the na, like the off-brand, like super, super thin toilet paper and use that for toilet paper in somebody's [00:11:00] house. So I don't know. I don't know if I'm just. Not in the era of my life where I get to toilet paper anymore. Um, but I mean, I guess I could, but it feels like that's something that would come with criminal charges if you got caught toilet papering somebody's house. Like, but that feels like a strictly 18 and under activity. 'cause after that you're, you can't do it then It's like criminal mischief and stuff like that. Um, also, I would love to hear what were the things you guys did. To prank when you were in high school? Because my husband has things that he lists out that were outrageous to me. Like they would soap the fountain, which there were no fountains for us. I lived in California and there was a drought always, so you couldn't just go off and soap a fountain. But for him in southern Indiana, you could soap a fountain. They also would saran wrap people's cars and oil all over the place. So you would saran wrap it. Then you would like douse it in oil and then whoever like came to get their car, like they [00:12:00] would be trying to take it off, but their fingers would be like slipping and all of that. And I feel like a good majority of these pranks were intended to be annoying, but not necessarily damaged property. Um, I'm trying to think if we had any good. Senior pranks or anything, but we really didn't, I feel like my class was so lame. In fact, I think I whined about this on the podcast, or at the very least on my Instagram, that I wasn't invited to my own 20 year reunion because I found out about it. 'cause one of my friends found out by somebody else that they were having the 20 year reunion for my class of like 50 that graduated 20 years ago. And I just talked to my friend yesterday and was like, oh, like did they, how was it? Did you go? Did anyone go? And she's like, they canceled it because of. Too few people wanting to go and I'm like, well you didn't even tell me about it. So, yeah, like you gotta actually tell the people if you want people to go. Um, so we've, we were lame in high school and apparently the people running it still are a little lame, so. Alright, let's go ahead and listen to the second voice memo today. [00:13:00] Voicemail: So I'm a teacher that was out on medical leave and I had a friend screenshot a story from a Facebook post and text it to me, warning me not to be like this art teacher. So I start reading the story and it's a letter written from a principal to the parents of a classroom, apologizing for what took place in their art class today. And he explained how students were doing a gallery walk or a critique of art project, and during the critique. Somebody drew a penis on another student's art project and nobody would confess to who you know, did the graffiti penis. So the teacher in the room thought the most appropriate response would be to demand that every seventh grader draw a penis and turn it into her so that she could try and match the graffiti penis, the artwork that was turned in by each student. And the principal reassured families that, you know, this was not an appropriate assignment. It was not in the lesson plan, [00:14:00] and that teacher would not be returning to the building because it was a substitute. And then at the bottom of the letter, I could see just like the top half of the signature that was cut off. And I read enough of it to go, oh my God, that's my principal's name. And I reread the story and thought, no way. This is the assignment that I left for my substitute for my art class while I was on medical leave. So I start texting my teacher best in the building, going, you guys, is this my classroom? Did this really just happen today? And they confirm, yes, that's exactly what happened. That. The seventh graders were told they had to draw a penis and turn it in. When I returned, I died laughing. I was like, please, please tell me that there's a stack of penis drawings on my desk for me to look through. But sadly for me, the principal threw them all away. Andrea: Oh my gosh. What a twist. Surprise ending. Wow. [00:15:00] I was not expecting it to be your classroom. It's never good when, um, your school ends up on the news for something like that, but extra wild if you find out it's actually your students. 'cause then you immediately, you have in your mind like the most innocent of kids that were asked to draw that because here's the thing. Kids be drawn penises, you know, they do it. It's constant, it's consistent, and it is, the oldest graffiti that we have on record is, is penis drawings. Like you go back to like the, the ancient ruins and stuff, people are drawing penises. They just can't help themselves. It's like on super bad where he, like the kid just, he's sitting there and he immediately starts drawing penises. Every single time he's sitting. He just feels like he has to draw a penis and that it, I don't know what it is. About that part of human anatomy that just draws the creative mind in so many different ways. But does it ever, and [00:16:00] it's funny too because you would think that maybe it would be girls that are drawing it more often than not. Um, but it seems like it's mostly guys and it seems like it's, it's pretty cross-cultural. I don't know any culture that's like, wow, I can't believe. That someone would do something as grotesque as draw a penis on that? Nope. It, it's, it's all the cultures. It's every single one of 'em. Everybody's out there just drawing penises. And I love the fact that at some point in the future, they're going to discover, you know, some, some like. Our era art and someone's gonna be like, wow, look, we found this stack of penis drawings in this art classroom. Someone's gonna be like, that's a crazy assignment to be giving to a bunch of seventh graders. And little did they know that it was some substitute teacher that was trying to play police chief I guys the like, the lack of logic required for that is actually kind of stunning because of course the [00:17:00] kid that drew it is not going to redraw. It's not a signature, like you're not gonna redraw the penis in the same way so that you can sleuth out who drew it. Like the levels of stupidity are kind of stunning with, with that decision. I'm so sorry for that teacher that they found out that that was in seventh graders especially, or kind of like the most criminally insane group of humans that I think I've come across. Um. I don't know if I shared this or not about the person I met at one of my shows who, I think it was like a seventh grader who had brought a little baggie with them to school. Um, and the baggie broke open and some, some powder got everywhere. And, um, so this teacher went up to them and was like, what is going on? Like, what, what is that, that looks like out of a dust buster? And she's like, it's my grandma. She had brought like a little Ziploc baggie of her grandmother's ashes with her to class. Um. Which is why, by the way, I have so much respect for middle school teachers. I talk about this in my [00:18:00] show every time, where like they are the most unhinged people because of what they respond to. Um, and clearly that substitute teacher was unprepared for the wilds of teaching. A middle school classroom because you know better, you don't encourage them to draw penises, they'll be doing it anyways. And if you had just looked at the papers they were already working on, you probably would have been able to naturally match the penis doodle to other existing penis doodles that they have already created on their work. It is consistent every single time. Um, on that really strange note, we are gonna take a very quick break and then when we get back I will share. The hill I'm gonna die on and a really cool teaching resource, so we will be right back. Have you ever wondered what I would say if my mother and my administrators weren't watching every single thing I do on social media? Well, that's exactly what my standup show is, and I'm gonna be coming to a town near you super soon. You can get [00:19:00] tickets@educatorandrea.com slash tickets. Welcome back, teacher besties. So one of the things that I really love to do is create routines in my classroom so that way kids know immediately when they come in, you know, we're gonna have to do a writing prompt. And so I would do journal writing. All the kids had their own spiral notebook that they would pick up at the beginning of class, put it back at the end of class. Um, and they would always have to respond to some kind of creative writing prompt. And that was great for the first week when I had ideas and then I get later into fall or winter and I feel like I can't possibly come up with another creative writing prompt. Um, and so I found this resource. It's text. help.com and on text help.com, they have under their resources tab a bunch of creative writing prompts. So you could just copy and paste that into your slides, into your opening stuff. Um, and that way you don't have to come up with something new or you could just kind of take a look and see if there was [00:20:00] anything that is already related to the stuff that you're going to be teaching. Um, so for example, some of the things they have is like, what if your pet could only talk to you at midnight for an hour? Like. What if, what would, would you stay up every night so you could chat with your dog or your cat or your parakeet, um, you know, stuff like that. Imagine that you're an astronaut who has been doing research on the moon for three years. You're going back to earth in a week. When nuclear war breaks out on earth. You watch the earth explode. Then what? That sounds like so depressing. But also I know for a fact there are some kids that would come up with some of the absolute. Funniest responses to that. Like they would come up with some side quests that none of us are expecting. So yeah, check those out. They're very, very creative. Obviously you can cre, you can come up with a bunch of prompts using AI and chat GBT and stuff like that. Um, but for our folks who especially don't prefer to use AI for things like that, this is, um, a really fun resource and it's text [00:21:00] help.com/resources. So check that out and it's free, which we love. Um, okay. So the hill that I will die on is based on something I just found out, which is that in the state of Indiana, the age of consent is 16 years old, and the hill I'm going to die on is the age of consent across the country, should be 18 years old. Okay. The guys, if we, because here's the thing. If somebody is 16 and they're consenting to intercourse with someone who is over 18, and really that's what I'm talking about right, is like not the like. Peer-to-peer stuff and all of that. But like if, if there is someone who is a legal adult and is hooking up with someone who is 16 years old, like, no, no, no, absolutely not. No. Right. Um, the, the fact that, for example, if someone was like 20 and they're dating someone who's 16, that would be consensual and that would be [00:22:00] legal in the state of Indiana. But if you decided to take them to dinner. Across state lines to Illinois that. Would be a federal kidnapping charge if you did not get the permission of their parents. Like, guys can, like, let's get it together. Okay. And maybe this is because I grew up in California where the age of consent is 18. Um, and of course there's like nuance to those laws where they have like the Romeo and Juliet law where like, oh, if there's like, if they, you know, are close in age and all of that, like that, yes. Okay. We understand we're not idiots. We know there's nuance in conversations like these, but. The way it stands in Indiana is if you're 16 years old and you are hooking up with someone who's 20, then that is completely legal and that is terrifying, honestly. Um, also, one of the laws in the state of Indiana is that the age of consent kind of goes away once you are legally married. So technically, if you were 14 and you were married to someone who's 25, as long as you're married, then everything is consensual. Um, which. So [00:23:00] gross. So that's the hell I'm gonna die on. And uh, I think it's really problematic that as I said that I'm like, I know I'm gonna get hate for that, which is insane if your in instinct is to be like, no, we should definitely be able to hook up with 16 year olds jail immediately. Jail. Immediately jail. Um, and on that note guys, thank you so much for hanging out with me today. Um, if you have thoughts about what we talked about today, then you can contact me at Educator Andrea or email me andrea@humancontent.com. Or you can contact the whole Human Content Podcast family at Human Content Pods. Um, and thank you so much. Those of you guys who have less reviews and wonderful feedback, we really, really appreciate it. Um, it helps us find a broader audience. So thank you so much, and our full video episodes are up every single week on YouTube at Educator. Andrea, thank you so much for listening. I'm your host, Andrea Forche. Our executive producers are Andrea Forche, Aron Korney, Rob Goldman and Shanti Brook. [00:24:00] Our editor is Andrew Sims. Our music is by Omer Ben-Zvi. Our engineer is Jason Portizo. Our recording location is Indiana State by College of Education. To learn more about our how to survive the classroom program, disclaimer and ethics, policy and submission verification and licensing terms, you can go to podcaster android.com. How to survive the classroom is a human content production. Thank you so much for watching. Want more of how to Survive the classroom? You can watch more episodes right now. Just click on that little box over there, you see it, and if you haven't yet, please subscribe. Okay, bye.