When People Demand You “Say Something”

Andrea: [00:00:00] If I thought taking my kids to a different country, even if it was illegal to do so, would make my kids safer, would give them opportunities that I didn't have, I would do it. I would do it immediately. I wouldn't apologize for it.

Hey, teacher besties, I am so excited to share with you that my book, they never Taught us, that is available for pre-order right now. It. Everything in experience first year teachers need to manage the chaos of the modern classroom, including some anecdotes to make you feel a little bit better because if there is a way you can screw up, I have probably done it.

It also has advice on how to build trust with families, how to manage grading and lesson plans and IEPs and everything in between that they never went over in your teacher prep program. They never taught us. That is available everywhere right now for pre-order.[00:01:00] 

Hey, teacher besties. Welcome to How to Survive the Classroom. So as I'm recording this, it is very late in January, 2026, and my days have been completely taken over by the news cycle. Um, I'm someone who, like, I like to be aware of what's going on, but I try not to dwell a lot on the news. And the reason for that is that generally speaking, it makes me feel extremely helpless.

Um, and I don't like that feeling. And, um, it, it, it can really, you know. Kind of destroy my, my mental health if I'm just constantly in that space. Um, but I also think that there are times that we do need to be really plugged into what's going on around us in our nation, especially as teachers. Um, because the kids will bring in whatever they're consuming online, whatever they're seeing on tv, on social media, they're gonna bring it into the classroom.

And I think this is the thing that really kind of burdens me about. [00:02:00] Um, being a content creator in times like this, because I was starting to get a, get like a lot of messages from people, um, demanding that I speak, and that's a very strange thing to be a teacher, an educator. Um, who, you know, I make jokes on the internet.

Um, like that's, that's what I do. My goal is always to uplift teachers, to make them feel seen and heard, and to make sure that educators have someone in their corner. And that is like my main goal. So most of the time, I would say 99 times out of a hundred. When something is happening, um, in, in the world around me, I try to remain mom or say very little.

Um, and in this case, I did actually create a video talking about the fact that kids are gonna bring this whole situation into the classroom with them and how educators should respond. Um, I basically said that, you know, these teachers, um, you know, in Minnesota, these teachers across the country are going to have kids in their class who are terrified.

We will, um. [00:03:00] And they will have kids in their class who are afraid for their family members, their loved ones, their friends. Um, and you will also in that same class, have kids of ice agents and you will have kids of politicians and you will have kids of parents who are very angry or very scared, and you as the educator, have to take this group of children and you have to try and provide a place that is safe.

For every single one of them. And that's a really tall order. And so my advice to teachers during times like this was. First to establish that in your classroom. It is, you know, a safe place that you love them and that you know, you understand there's a lot going on. And give them a chance to reflect. You know, give them maybe a journal prompt in the first five minutes of like, Hey, like if you've got stuff that's been weighing on your mind, take a second, write it down.

Um, if you need access to resources, something like that, maybe put a note in there. I can plug in, plug you [00:04:00] into some resources. Um, but. And then, and then give them the structure that makes them feel safe. Because in a world when things are just going haywire and they're feeling so, so unsafe and so scared, um, the best thing we can do for them is give them some predictability, especially in the classroom.

The worst thing we can do is be like, well, no structure, no accountability anymore. You know, the whole world's going to hell, so why are we even bothering like, no. That's not what we should do as teachers. We should still provide accountability while also acknowledging what these kids are going through and doing our absolute best to not bring in our own.

Emotional weight. You know, we we're not robots, obviously. We have to come in and we have to feel how we feel, but it's not our job to tell the kids how they should be feeling. Um, and so that, like from, from my perspective on social media, like that was my number one priority is to communicate that. And what I got was a lot of messages from both sides because I, it was so, and this, [00:05:00] this usually happens anytime I address anything.

Um. I get messages from both sides. One for one side of the people who are super far right, who are like, oh, so you like hate ice, you, you know, you're against America, you're blah, blah, blah. Um, and then the other that's like, oh, so it's fine. The ice is doing these things. Um, you know, why didn't you just come out and say fuck ice?

And, you know, guys, here's, here's the reality of the way that I feel about all of this. Number one, I'm heartbroken. I am, I'm heartbroken. I'm heartbroken for the kids. I'm heartbroken for, um, the, the families that have lost these people, um, that like that, that were executed, right? Like, I don't know of any other way to, to describe that.

And I know that even using that word for some people probably just really upset them. But I don't, I, I don't know how else to describe what we saw. Um, I really don't. And due process exists for a reason. [00:06:00] Um. So from, from my, my absolute heart, I'm really, really heartbroken. Now, the reason I didn't just come out and say fuck ice is because while I completely condemn the way things are being handled, I also know of situations where in my local community, ICE arrested some people who were in the country illegally who were running a child trafficking ring.

Was ice. Who did that? Um, and I, I don't think anyone on these picket lines is trying to save. Child traffickers. Like that's not what they're thinking, right? They're thinking of hardworking people who wanted to make their, their kids' lives better. But the reality is, is there, you know, there are situations where we do hope that bad people are not in our country, right?

Um, and the problem is, is that if we don't have due process, then there's no nuance, there's no conversation, right? And we have people getting hurt and there's not any kind of [00:07:00] discussion about whether or not, um, the. You know what, like why are they here? Why are we arresting them? Like, what is, what is happening?

And so I have, I have that piece right, that I, I actually know of this situation and this that was in my community that this happened. Um. Meanwhile, I have, I was a teacher in Southern California for six of my nine years teaching, and I had a student who called me the morning after her dad had been taken from their home, ice, did a raid on their house, took him away, and she was then homeless because she was an American citizen, but her dad was not, and he was deported.

And I had to be the person to respond to this young woman who's 16 years old, just a kid. Right? Can you imagine? Just like just a kid and she's like, I don't know what to do, and I'm sitting there like, yeah, yum. Me neither. And so like these two truths can exist and do exist. And I hate talking about stuff like [00:08:00] this on social media because in a 92nd clip, there is no room for the kind of nuance discussion that kind of needs to happen.

And people are scared. And when people are scared, empathy goes out the window every time. Right? It is really, really hard. For people who are scared to think about the feelings of the person who's scaring them. Right. And and I think that on both sides, it's a fear-based conversation. Um, and I wanna be so clear, and I think this is something that like, as a mom, I really hold, hold true, is that if I thought taking my kids to a different country, even if it was illegal to do so, would make my kids safer.

Would give them opportunities that I didn't have. I would do it. I would do it immediately. I wouldn't apologize for it. I would be deported for it. I would do whatever it took for my kids. And I think if most of us were honest, we would feel the same way. That's the reality of it. I, I genuinely do think most of us.

Would do [00:09:00] whatever it took for our kids. And I know that that's maybe gonna piss some people off, but that is genuinely how I feel that like there's not a darn thing I wouldn't do to keep my kids safe, to give them an opportunity to make sure that they have a better life. Especially if the life that they were living wasn't safe, wasn't good.

Yeah. Yep, yep, yep. I would, I would do crimes like I just, and, and it's not, you know, that I don't also. Understand that like there's a whole lot of other things that come with having borders that are really open, and I acknowledge that at the start. Um, but it's a nuanced conversation. And the, I, you know, I've been talking for almost 10 minutes about it, and so that's why I, I try not to discuss these things online as much because I feel all of those ways, you know, and that's not a 92nd clip.

That's not a quick, snappy thing. And the other thing is, is that people who feel really strongly on one direction or the other, there is [00:10:00] nothing I'm gonna say that's going to convince them. When people message me and say they want me to say something, it's because that's how they feel. Um, and if I disagreed with them, it's not going to actually change anything for them.

Um, so that's kind of where, where my heart's at right now. Um, again, uh, as, as a. A classroom teacher, a lot of teachers are not allowed to speak out about this on social media and all of that. I'm not tenured, by the way. Um, and I had a lot of people asking me to speak out and I'm like, I, you know, I, my university hasn't taken a stance on it.

Um, and I do have more freedom than the average K 12 teacher, but at the same time, like I, I don't know if even talking about it on the podcast could get me in some kind of trouble because my, my university hasn't taken a stance either way on this topic. Um. And so I think that that's something else that we need to be empathetic towards each other is that there are a lot of people saying like, Hey, why aren't you speaking out?

Fill in the blank person. [00:11:00] And that person's still teaching K 12. And it's like, okay, well. Because if you want them helping these kids that are, you know, going through a lot right now, then they have to stay in the classroom to do that. Um, and so that's, that's my biggest thing is I wanna be here for teachers.

I want to support teachers. I want teachers to feel seen and heard. And I know that if you're in the classroom right now, you're hearing a lot of things mostly that their parents are saying at home. Um. And I know that sometimes we have to bite our tongue until it feels like it's gonna fall off because, um, kids are gonna take what their parents say for, for the most part, especially early grades, um, without, you know, really questioning it.

Which, you know, we, we always hope that our kids are not gonna like, think that we're liars or anything. Um, but I think that it's our job as teachers to provide structure, provide safety, provide love, provide resources when needed, um, and to do it to the best of our ability. So I know it's kind of heavy way to start off the podcast today, so I'm sorry if, uh, [00:12:00] if it felt super heavy.

Also, Jerry's not here right now. I don't know if you guys thought he was just like silently listening to me pop off, but because we've had such crazy weather and winter and everything like that, um. My internet has gone out and he is still teaching. And so we've had to find a time that, uh, he wasn't able to join us, but he will be back next week, don't you worry?

I'm sure with lots of stories and all of that. And, uh, speaking of stories, guys, I have been locked in my house now for the past week with my children who again are five and seven, and I love them so much. Like I said, I will do crimes for them if need be. Uh, but I have to be with the, like I guys, it's been a week.

I will. I man. I'm struggling and I had to take my kids with me to teach college yesterday, which was a whole experience. And you know, we've been together like at home for, you know, the longest time and I'm like, you know, okay, it's fine because at least if we're all home together, they're not getting exposed to germs.

And, uh, my daughter has thrown up seven times today. Seven, I counted. So, [00:13:00] um, even, even, we can't, we can't apparently avoid germs because we stepped foot in the university campus for like two hours yesterday and still. My kids managed to get sick. So that I guess apparently is just how things go. Um, but next up, I'm very, very excited because we do have a voice memo that someone has sent in, so we are going to listen to that after this very quick break.

Have you ever wondered what I would say if my mother and my administrators weren't watching every single thing I do on social media? Well, that's exactly what my standup show is, and I'm gonna be coming to a town near you super soon. You can get tickets@educatorandrea.com slash tickets. All right, welcome back, teacher Besties.

So we have a voice memo sent in for this week, so let's go ahead and listen to what was sent in. 

Voicemail: Hi, so first year English teacher here. I have a bit of a funny story because I have to [00:14:00] see if I'm crazy or not because I, I feel crazy. Basically, when I grade, I am reacting to these students and their writing, um, like it's a football game, like it's the most intense women's rugby game I've ever seen in my entire life.

I am jumping outta my chair cheering. Yesterday I was grading my ninth graders paragraphs. I gave myself two high fives, and I'm doing this every single time I grade. Any of the writing, whether it be just paragraphs or essays, I feel insane and it doesn't help that. Yesterday our sweet, sweet janitor.

Walks into my classroom just to take out the trash. And there, I'm outta my seat cheering because a student can write a strong claim. Please let me know if this is [00:15:00] normal or send help. Anyway, I am a big fan of the podcast. Thanks for all you do. You make me feel sane. Bye. 

Andrea: Oh my gosh. Um, no, that's not normal.

Uh, but in the best possible way, it's not normal because like Ms. Ms. Frizzle wasn't normal. Um, I do remember my first time when I was grading those essays from students, especially that first year teaching, where I was like, oh, man, like I can't wait to sit here. Read these gems of just beautiful knowledge.

I love the enthusiasm and joy that you're getting out of it. Um, never, never lose that, uh, because I think especially as an English teacher, we get access to their brains in a way that I feel like a lot of, a lot of people don't, like a lot of teachers, you're not really getting their innermost thoughts or any of that kind of stuff when you are.

Teaching them math or science or anything like that. Whereas with [00:16:00] English, like we get them to tell their stories, which is such a uniquely human experience, and you get them to like almost give a glimpse of how they see the world. So I remember especially that first year teaching being like, wow, like I am getting to know these kids so well.

And I will say that I do think that because I got so overwhelmed over the years of teaching that I, I lost a little bit of, of that joy. It's really hard when you lose it to get it back. And so I hope that you keep with that absolute like exuberant joy that you have when it comes to like reading your students' work and all of that, because it's not normal in the best way.

And I think that's the coolest thing ever, that you enjoy it that much. And that poor janitor was probably like, what is this freak doing? But like you, like the way you describe your reaction is contagious. Like the way you just described that made me kind of be like, you know what? Yeah. Hell yeah. Like, let's [00:17:00] get psyched about the student writing, because it's that kind of enthu enthusiasm that kids remember when you give something back, you're like, oh my gosh, I'm obsessed with how you did this, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And like, they're gonna remember that and that is, it's contagious. 'cause then they're gonna be like, oh, I can't, she, she's not, she's gonna blow her mind when she gets this piece of work. You know? Like I. Even just hearing from my teachers occasionally, like you did a good job on that was amazing. I can't imagine how it would've changed me if someone had been like, oh my gosh, I'm freaking out about how you wrote this, blah, blah.

Like that's so cool. That is legitimately life-changing enthusiasm and I love that for you and I love that for your students. Um, I had one student who reached out to me like just a couple years ago. I had taught in my first year teaching. And he was a kid who was very disaffected, like very much kind of like grungy, didn't really wanna be engaged in school stuff, but wrote so beautifully.

Like, so like it, it just reminded me [00:18:00] of like these adventure writers of that wrote like nonfiction and would go on these. It just had this like kind of grittiness to it. And I, I loved it. And so I told him once I gave him back his paper. He got a really good grade on it and I was like, Hey, I know you said you didn't wanna write this, but this blew me away.

And if you wanted to be a writer someday, you absolutely could because you have a natural talent. That is, is amazing. I loved this. And he reached out to me a couple years ago and said he was working on his novel because the words that I had said to him had like stuck in his brain. And so he's always been like, well, I know I'm a good writer.

Right? Like that, like that fact. Like embeds itself in their souls in a way that is so incredibly beautiful. Um, and what, like, what a powerful thing we do as educators that something we could say even offhand be like, oh yeah, like you're a really good writer. And they're like, got it. That is just like, like a fact about who I am now.[00:19:00] 

Um. And like used in positive ways and negative ways. Unfortunately, there's definitely times that, like I think I've talked about the fact that I had a gym teacher who, when I was in middle school and I did cross country, and I told her because I was always passive aggressively not running during gym class, and she found out I was gonna join cross country and she laughed at me and I was like, okay, well that was rude.

And then when I was 26, I finished my marathon and I literally remember being like, yeah, take that coach like. What? Like, because those things that we say as teachers, like they sink deeper, right? Because we are authority figures and the kids do look at us in a way that makes us be like them. Be like, oh, she must know, right?

She sees all of these other kids writing, she does all of this, so she must be an authority on at least this piece. And so I think it's not normal in the best possible way, and I. I love it. I think that's great. I think that your kids at school are so incredibly fortunate to have you [00:20:00] freaking out and nerding out over their writing because what a gift for you and for them, for everybody.

Um. And on that same kind of positive note, whenever I feel helpless or I feel like there's nothing I can do that is actually gonna help somebody, I like to find actionable things, right? Because we get really stuck into this kind of like dark, dreary, like everything is terrible. Um, you know, there's, there's this book all quiet on the Western Front that some of you may have read in high school.

Um, spoilers. If you don't want it spoiled for you, I'm gonna spoil it. Um, you follow this guy all the way through the war and it's dark and it's World War I and they're in the trenches and it's, you know, just awful. And the end of the book, the guy dies, like, at the front lines, and then the next scene is like the sun rising the next morning, just like it did the day before.

And everyone at home like still living their lives like it, you know, like, like nothing happened. Right? It's a very nihilistic book. Very depressing. Um. And I hate that [00:21:00] perspective. My husband is very much along the lines of like, ah, like the sun also rises, you know? And I'm like, all right, because I don't like that.

I, I'm like, no, like, let's, let's do things to find beauty and let's do things to make the world around us a better place. So on that, um, same note. I, I know a lot of us don't know how to substantively help with what's going on right now. Um. In Minnesota. And so I wanna encourage you guys. There is a Don. I, I don't, I've talked about donors choose before on here.

Um, but there is a, right now a campaign going on, on donors choose where you can contribute money to the classrooms in, um, Minnesota and things that will help support these teachers as they're navigating helping these kids that are going through a really tumultuous time because it's hard for us. As teachers who are seeing it on the news, um, I can't imagine if it was happening down the street from me trying to navigate that in the classroom.

So the [00:22:00] last thing these kids should have to worry about is making sure that, you know, do we have enough snacks for the kids? Do we have extra coats if we need coats? Um. We will also link it in the show notes. There's, it's, or you can just go to donors, choose Minnesota and it will pop up. They've got a campaign, they're trying to raise a hundred thousand dollars for the teachers in these schools.

Um, and that's something we can do, you know, that's something substantive we can give. I mean even just a couple bucks, um, you know, skip our Starbucks and give a few dollars to those teachers to help them, um, navigate this time. That's really, really scary. And. So I encourage you guys to do that because we can be the helpers, you know, like we can be the people that are trying to have empathy and have love for people that are going through a really scary and really hard time because you know that we're, we're a community and we, we should be acting like it.

Um, alright. On the hill I will die on. And I know this is gonna piss some people off and I've done this before, so let me just establish, [00:23:00] I have done this before my school required it of me. Um, but I think giving kids a 50% on assignments that they don't turn in is teaching them that their effort does not matter.

That is the message that kids are receiving. I have heard every argument in the book that we should be giving them 50% because it's so hard to dig yourself out of a hole and all of that kind of stuff. Once they have a zero, like Yeah, and like, yes. Yeah, consequences. Their actions have consequences. Wake up like I, I think it is.

Disingenuous. And I think it is cheating our kids of the reality of things if we are constantly telling them that doing absolutely nothing is worth 50% credit. It's not, it's simply not. And, um, I know there are some teachers that like, feel real strongly about this, but I tried it and let me tell you, it, it did not, it did not improve anyone's, uh, learning outcomes.

It might've improved their grade. Some. But it [00:24:00] improves zero people's learning outcomes. And I think that we need to probably be prioritizing learning outcomes over GPA and that's a system-wide issue, more than just this. But that is the hill I'm gonna die on today. Um, if you have thoughts about what we talked about, who, and I bet you do, you can, I don't even wanna give my email this time.

Uh, you can hit us up, andrea@humancontent.com. You can contact our Human Content podcast family. In fact, if you're gonna be mean to me, if you can send it to them. 'cause they'll shield me from it and only tell me about the nice ones. Um, you can contact at human content pods. Uh, and thank you guys so much for those of you who have left reviews and sent in invoice memos.

And if you haven't sent in a voice memo yet, please do. I would love to hear it. Um. And if you wanna catch the full video episodes, they're up every single week on YouTube at Educator. Andrea, thank you so much for listening. I'm your host, Andrew Forche. Our executive producers are Andrea Forche, Aron Korney, Rob Goldman and Shahnti Brook.

Our editor is Andrew Sims. Our engineer is Jason Portizo. Our music is by Omer Bens v. To learn more about how to survive [00:25:00] the classrooms program, disclaimer and ethics, policy and submission verification and licensing terms, you can go to podcast or andrea.com. How to survive the classroom is a human content production.

Thank you so much for watching. Want more of how to Survive the classroom? You can watch more episodes right now. Just click on that little box over there, you see it, and if you haven't yet, please subscribe. Okay, bye.