Back to School Fears, Debunked

Andrea: [00:00:00] I feel like some of the things, Gerry, that you have shared on here, um, if you ever do crash out and it ends up on the internet and you get fired, people are gonna look back at this podcast and be like, "Remember what he said?" Like, seriously. This is gonna be in a Netflix documentary where they're like, "We had no idea."

And they're like, "He literally told you he threw a desk. What do you mean?" 

Gerry: I didn't throw a desk. I knocked it over

Andrea: Hey, teacher besties. I am so excited to share with you that my book, They Never Taught Us That, is available right now. It is everything an experienced or first-year teacher needs to manage the chaos of a modern classroom, including some anecdotes to make you feel a little bit better, because if there is a way that you can screw up, I've probably done it.

It also has advice on how to build trust with families, how to manage grading and lesson plans and IEPs, and everything else that they never went over in [00:01:00] your teacher prep program. They Never Taught Us That is available everywhere right now

Hey, teacher besties. Welcome to How to Survive the Classroom. I'm Andrea Forkham. 

Gerry: I'm Gerry Patoka. 

Molly: And I'm Molly Dugan 

Andrea: And, um, guys, I can't believe I'm even saying this, but my kids are going back to school in a week. As people are listening to this, their kids are already back at school. And Gerry, you had, was it open house last night?

Gerry: Yeah, it was like where the kids can come walk their schedule and stuff. I kinda just tried to hide the whole time. 

Molly: Dude, when's your first day of school? 

Gerry: Thursday. 

Molly: Uh, no. 

Gerry: Oh, Molly don't know. I'm on a year-round schedule. Oh. So I get short, short breaks- 

Molly: Three 

Gerry: weeks ... like more often. We talked about this. Yeah.

Molly: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Gerry: Yeah, so I- I, I'm with you ... I'm out again in October for like three weeks, but like this is, we go back Thursday, which is annoying 'cause it's Spider-Man Day. 

Theme: Oh yeah. Right. We talked about this too. 

Gerry: Thursday- Yeah ... is [00:02:00] Spider-Man Day and I have to go to teach Spider-Man Day. And it's like not a easy day.

It's rules and expectations. They have six classes. I'm gonna have to be on point, do all my like, "Hey, here's who I am," da da da da da, and then go see Spider-Man, and they have a show that night. And then I have to teach Friday, and then I have a show out of town that night. And then S- uh, Saturday nothing, show Sunday, nothing Monday, show with Gasper Tuesday, and a show with Gasper out of town on Wednesday, and then show Thursday.

Oh my gosh. I'm gonna, I'm gonna croak. And that's 

Molly: called hustle, baby. 

Gerry: That's right. This is the life of a showgirl. 

Molly: Well, 

Gerry: that's- Gang, gang. Gang, gang, 

Andrea: gang. Okay. I wanna know because, God, I would pay so much money to be a fly on the wall when Gerry is like laying down the law- ... with rules and expectations. Do you guys like practice?

Can you give us just like a peek? Yeah. Yeah. Like give us a 

Molly: quick like- We're your, okay, wait, wait. We're your students. Okay, we- 

Andrea: Yes ... 

Molly: hold on. Get into character, Andrea. Okay, so we're your students. Sorry. [00:03:00] Okay. And we're like, wait, how old are we? What do you teach? 

Andrea: 13? I 

Gerry: don't like this. 

Andrea: You do stand-up. You can't, you can't do your run up into, because here's the thing- Nah

Gerry, there are, there are future teachers sitting there going like, "I don't know what I'm gonna say. How am I gonna go up there and talk to all of these 13-year-olds?" They need your leadership, so. 

Gerry: The words will find you. 

Molly: Ugh. 

Andrea: Give me your top three rules. 

Gerry: Do not talk while I'm talking. 

Molly: Good one. 

Gerry: I will, I will crash out.

If you talk while I'm talking, I will crash out. 

Molly: And I think you say that to them, too. You warn them about the crash outs. 

Gerry: I tell them. I say, I, oh no. Yeah. Listen, I already told them, so my classroom is on the first floor right in the middle of the building, like right by the front office. And I'm gonna tell them, I say, "You wanna know the reason they," 'cause I used to be in a different room down the hallway.

I say, "You wanna know the reason my room's right here in the front now? 'Cause I go crazy. They wanted me to be near the cop." 

Molly: Sioux 

Gerry: Steerow's. 

Molly: I'm like, "Don't, don't mess with me." Okay. So don't talk while you're talking. What's number two? 

Gerry: Yeah. I don't like when they get up and move around the room. Like if you go, if [00:04:00] you gotta do something, I'm probably gonna tell you yes, just don't get up and start moving 'cause I don't know what you're doing.

If I don't know what you're doing- If they're like, "Oh, I wanna get a tissue." I, like, I don't trust 

Molly: you. 

Gerry: Yeah. Like, if you gotta throw something away, say, "Hey, can I throw this away?" Yeah, it's fine. But like don't just get up, throw something away, 'cause I'm gonna be like, "What if you coming to beat me up?" I don't know.

Molly: You, you're worried about that? 

Gerry: No, but I'm worried about what will happen if they try. 

Molly: I get that. I get that. Yeah. Usually, 'cause half the time they don't actually need to get up, right? They're like trying to like fart on their friend- Yeah ... 'cause they want fire or something- 

Gerry: Like, like, yeah ... and then it like causes chaos.

Like I'm not worried, I'm not worried about getting attacked, but like- 

Molly: You just wanna 

Gerry: know ... like don't, don't do it ... 

Molly: you just 

Gerry: wanna know what's going on in your room ... don't do it. Yeah. Yeah. Just let me know, like you could be dipping. Okay. I don't know. Um- 

Molly: What's number three? 

Gerry: I don't know. There's not much that gets on my...

I don't like when they talking when I'm talking, if I'm on the phone, if the announcements come on. I really, if they can just be quiet the whole time, they, they already did it. 

Andrea: Uh. 

Gerry: Um- 

Andrea: So you just, you, you start off class by saying, "Don't speak- 

Gerry: Yeah ... 

Andrea: and don't move." But 

Gerry: so- Or 

Andrea: I'm gonna crash out and the cop will have to come save you all from me.

Gerry: So normally what happens is like- ... when they come in, I let them sit [00:05:00] wherever they want, and then I go, "All right, get up against the wall." And I put them in s- I put them in seats. And, um- Nice ... I'll kind of- Dude, I'm 

Molly: scared of your class ... 

Gerry: I'll tell them like- I 

Molly: know. If I'm a student, I'm scared. 

Theme: Yeah ... 

Gerry: I, I'll say like, "Look, here's what the class is.

If you listen to what, what I say and do what you're supposed to do, you're gonna get a good grade. You're going to be fine. If you don't, then you don't." I said, "People, I, every- every- everybody should get A in this class. I understand everybody learns at a different level. But if you do what you're supposed to do, you'll get an A.

If you don't, it's 'cause you didn't do what you were supposed to do." Um- Nice ... uh, I said, "I, we can laugh, we can cut up, we can have fun, but I..." And I tell them, I say, "I'm the biggest, meanest person in this building." I say, "If you, if you, if you... Nah, you ain't never seen it. If you like, if you get me- I 

Molly: could see 

Gerry: it

on one." I'm like, "Nah." I- The more I get to 

Molly: know you, the more I could see it. 

Andrea: Okay. I, I just have to know. I, I- Are you giving this big scary talk with your Spider-Man dolls next to you? Or are they sitting on your desk? Are [00:06:00] you holding them while you're telling them that you're the biggest, scariest boy, or? 

Gerry: If they wanna find out the hard way, they can find out the hard way.

Andrea: You didn't 

Gerry: answer the question. If they wanna play... I mean, yeah, they can be wherever they want. I have s- superheroes. Did I send you- Just do it ... a picture of my classroom? 

Molly: No. 

Andrea: I bet you do. No? 

Gerry: I have superheroes pinned up on the wall. And I'm like- Yeah ... "Yeah, look." But, but like- Like voodoo 

Molly: style? Like with what?

Like did you staple them 

Gerry: there? It's like... No, they're like cutouts that we found in the building. Okay. Like somebody had 

Molly: made them- Dude, you had me so scared. I was thinking you literally had these, like, figurines. Like, I was thinking it was, like, giving, "I murdered these dolls." Like - Whoa ... I don't know. My brain went somewhere 

Gerry: crazy.

That's a different level. Nah. But no, like, I've had before where I've, I, where I, if I pop off, I'll go crazy. I've had people walk down the hallway to see what was going on, like they thought something was seriously wrong. I'm like, "Don't play with me." It usually takes someone time- Wow ... somebody one time to play with me, and [00:07:00] I, I crash out, and no, nobody plays with me anymore.

Molly: Okay, I have a question for you guys then because here's the thing. I can do that. I can do the crash out, and I have. But do we think... Okay, here, I don't know w- exactly what my question is. Let me find the words as they're, as, as this thought's coming to me. Half the time when I crash out, I get laughed at, okay?

Andrea: I g- I get a little giggle from a couple of the kids. Like, you know, "Ooh, 

Molly: that was scary, Miss Dugan." Do we think it's a gender thing, or am I reaching? It's 100% a 

Gerry: gender thing. Okay. It, it's 100... Like, I think- 

Molly: Okay ... 

Gerry: I do think there are women who can do the crash out thing 'cause there are some like that in my school.

But then, but then sometimes, like, when I talk to, like, my female coworkers about this, they'll, they'll go, "Oh, well, you're male. It's easier." But I'm, I'm thinking, yeah, but there's also other place, like, maybe I don't understand, they could be making up for it. And most of the time it's 'cause, like, some folks just, their classroom management ain't all 10.

Andrea: [00:08:00] Two of the scariest teachers I ever had were female, and no one laughed when they crashed out. You were terrified. There was this one history teacher, and we called her The General. She was a retired Marine. Um, she was maybe 4'11". Okay, this woman was tiny, but the way she made... And we were, it was eighth grade that she taught us.

She was legitimately one of the most terrifying humans I've ever met. We all- You were shaking in your boots ... oh, we loved her, though. Right. Loved her because she could turn it off, and then she, when she needed to, like, she would make us wither in our seats. It was incredible, and no one laughed when she crashed out.

Um, people laugh when I crash out plenty of times, and I think it's the vibe. I think it's on me- Yeah, me too ... that, like, I, like, we are, I think, more I don't know. Like, it's not, I, I don't think it's, uh, I'm sure maybe a little bit- 

Molly: Sure ... 

Andrea: there's the gender thing, but I think it's more [00:09:00] just I probably- The general vibes

let them get away with too much. Unfortunately, sometimes when they do stuff that they shouldn't be in class, but it's so funny that I don't, I can't, like, my, my laughter brain starts before my teacher brain. 

Molly: Same. 

Andrea: And that, I think, is why they don't take me seriously when I crash out because they know I think it's funny even though I am mad.

They also know my sense of humor is also cutting up at the same time, and so I think, like, that's a me problem. And Gerry, I'm proud of you that you can terrify your students like that because I've never- Same ... had that grasp of a 

Gerry: classroom. Yeah, I think there's s- still some male, it's not necessarily, like, there are definitely males who can't have that same presence.

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: But, like, when you're a six-foot, 350 pound bald, bearded man and you can get really loud, they listen. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: They, they, they get quiet. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm fine with that. But most of the time I can turn it off. Sometimes, I, if, if I'm, if I get to a point where I'm angry enough that I [00:10:00] can't turn it off, I usually call for somebody.

I'm like, "Nah." 

Andrea: That's fair. 

Gerry: I, I'm, I'm gonna go nuts. 

Andrea: I feel like some of the things, Gerry, that you have shared on here, um, if you ever do crash out and it ends up on the internet and you get fired, people are gonna look back at this podcast and be like, "Remember what he said?" And they're gonna be like, "Seriously?"

This is gonna be in a Netflix documentary where they're like, "We had no idea." And they're like, "He literally told you he threw a desk. What do you mean?" I didn't throw a desk. "He 

Gerry: literally said he wanted to 

Molly: be by the cop." 

Gerry: I knocked it over. 

Molly: Mm-hmm. 

Andrea: Okay. 

Molly: Mm-hmm. 

Andrea: Great. 

Molly: At least you own who you are. 

Andrea: Yeah. Molly and I are getting canceled by proxy if you get yourself in trouble, so if you could just behave yourself.

Yeah. 

Gerry: No, I do, I am aware some of my methods are not, uh, textbook, but- Because, like, like one of the things I do- But they're effective ... one of the things I do that gets on my nerves, and I always end up having to apologize for this, like, if somebody laughs at, like how y'all said, somebody laughs when you crash out, I kick them out.

I'm like, "Yeah." I say, "You're not staying here." Yeah. "Bye." And, and I always have to go back 'cause yes, you shouldn't kick [00:11:00] them out. I, like, listen- Yeah ... if you, don't kick them out. If you're listening to this and you don't know what the hell you're doing, don't kick them out. 

Molly: Wait, whoa, I do that. 

Gerry: Well, well, okay, back up.

But 

Molly: I, but I, I tell them 

Gerry: to wait in the hall. We're not supposed to. I tell them to go on somewhere. I'm like, "No, get out." Oh, I don't- Like sometimes I'll say- See, I don't do that ... I'll say go s- if I, there's a difference. I have, "Go stay in the hall," which is usually the, the come up. I, but r- about once a year, I have the, "Get out.

I don't care where you go." Mm. Yeah. And they're going, "And I know you're not supposed to do that." And now when I do that, I immediately call and say, "Such and such is on their way." Yep. Like, I just- That's fair. That's fair ... kicked them out. I can't do it anymore. I'm not waiting on y'all to come respond. And part of it, and th- and again, this probably sounds, makes me sound horrible, but it's, for one, I'm letting you know that like, hey, um, I, 'cause in my building they know like if nothing, if Patoka don't do nothing else, his classroom's well-behaved.

If it gets to a point where I'm losing [00:12:00] that, I will do what I have to do to set the example to the rest of them. And so if it's throwing them out and I call, I'm like, "Hey, I wasn't waiting for y'all to come down here. I'm gonna go ahead and do my thing and then y'all can clean up." And m- never have they ever told me not to do that again.

It's usually like, "No, if you did that, you probably had a really good reason." 

Molly: Yeah. 

Gerry: And that's 

Molly: like- I would say like if you're sending kids chronically to the office, then you start to become the teacher that cried wolf. Like, it's such a fine line. Like- Mm ... I probably can count on one hand in the eight years that I've taught, seven years that I've taught, how many times I've sent a kid to the office.

Because like To me, like that's only if I think a kid is a detriment to the classroom. Like, genuinely. If it's like they're giggling, they're being distracting, whatever, stand in the hall, take a beat. You're getting the class riled up. But if it's like, I've had kids that were like bullying another kid in front of my face in my class, I was like, "That's office.

You will not be in here the rest- Yeah ... of the class period." Right? Like, that's different [00:13:00] because like if it's any minor behavior and you're sending 'em to the office, it, like I'm questioning it. Like, there's a difference between ... And I guess I'm saying this for like newer teachers. If you're sending them to the office or you're saying, "Hey, step outside," I think that's a really valuable tool to separate the behavior from the rest of the class, and to h- give them a moment to take a beat, to give myself to take a beat before I respond to them.

Sometimes you gotta discipline them in front of the other kids, right? Like, sometimes you gotta do that. Sometimes though I'm like, "No, you're not gonna get the attention that you want. Stand outside." Yeah. "We'll talk about it. Think about what you've done. The class can calm down." I do that a lot. I do that a lot.

Gerry: Yeah. Sometimes I make 'em stand out there for a while to make 'em sweat. Mm. Yeah. I'm like, "Nah, you go stand in the hallway. I'm not coming out there right now. I'm gonna do my job, and then I'll come talk to you." Well, I'm not just kicking kids out and blasting 'em at ran- Like, if I kick a, if I boot a kid, and like I said, I almost always if, like if I'm booting a kid, I'm not just sending them [00:14:00] out and being like, "Go on your merry way."

If I boot a kid, I'm immediately picking up the phone saying, "Hey- 

Molly: Right ... 

Gerry: I just threw such and such out. Y'all need to come get 'em before they go and- They're somewhere in the halls ... do something they'll 

Molly: think. Go find them. 

Gerry: Yeah. And that's, and that's because they tested my patience enough that I'm like, "I'm not sitting in here and waiting on someone to respond to this.

This needs to be handled right now," because if I'm at my wit's end with it- 

Molly: It must be bad ... 

Gerry: you, you, it must- Yeah ... it must be g- They, they know I'm not calling for no reason. They're like, "If Patoca called, you had multiple warnings, you had multiple things said to you, and you continued to F up." And it's like you, you're not gonna do that.

And even- Yeah ... after that, once I calmed normally 'cause I had, I won't ... I'm not, obviously I'm not gonna say the kid's name 'cause that, I, I ain't going to jail. But I had a kid that me and, me and them got into it, and I said, "Get out." Yeah. And I also was doing ALC ISS coverage, and so when they, when they got sent 

Andrea: out, 

Gerry: they- [00:15:00] 

Andrea: What was A- A C- what?

Gerry: ALC is alternative learning center. ISS is- 

Andrea: Got 

Gerry: it. Okay ... ISS. Got it. And I, um, I was due coverage for that for a period of the day, and they had to see me again later. And I get up there- 

Andrea: So you kick him out, and then 

Gerry: they have to see you again? And then I, I get them back, and I go up there and I'm like, "Do you get what the issue was?

If you had just said, 'Mr. Toca, my bad,' you would've been fine, but you wanted to keep pushing these buttons." And they're like, "Yeah." I end up getting, went to their admin, said, "Hey, I think this kid is fine. They can go back to class. Like, I think they got- Yeah ... I think they get, they got the gist of what happened.

I think, I think they, um, learned their lesson." And, and the admin's like, "I trust you." And it's like, "Send them back to class." And I walk the kid back to class, and I was like, "Yeah, you can go on your merry day, but if you, uh, if you mess this up, like for one, you're gonna make me look silly. I'm not gonna like that.

If I vouch for you after being the one to send you out and you make me look silly," I said, "We're gonna have a problem." [00:16:00] But, um, normally what I'll do with something like that is being like, "You, I, I'm gonna make sure that you get the same percussion or repercussion twice." 

Andrea: Repercussion. So I- 

Gerry: Yeah, like you was gonna get one day in ISS, you gonna get two now 'cause I gave you a chance, and you knew what was up and you still messed up.

Andrea: Yeah. I had an issue in my first year especially because I had one teacher that was like, "You know, if you need to have a conversation, like a discipline con- conversation with the kids, send them to the hallway." Well, I, the way I did it, the way that I sent them to the hallway was like I would just say, "Hallway," really loud in front of everybody, so often that when a kid was cutting up in class, the other kids would start saying, "Hallway.

Hallway." Oh, 

Molly: no. 

Andrea: And sometimes would say it at the same time as me, which fully undercut- 

Molly: Yep ... 

Andrea: all. And then I would be like, "Well, you have to go to the hallway now too." And everyone would be, "Ooh." And then no one's taking it seriously because I'm just like teaching it. And then the whole class is in the hallway.

God. Yes. That's the worst. And then I'm just teaching in the hallway. Yeah. It was [00:17:00] awful. Yeah. And so aft- And I also made the massive mistake my first year of telling my students, so stupid, that if they made me laugh, I didn't feel like it would be fair for me to write them up for it. So stupid. So stupid.

Like the dumbest. Yeah. 

Molly: It's pretty, it- That's a risky business because I, I laugh at- Is that in your book? ... everything, dude. 

Andrea: I do think I put that in my book somewhere. That's definitely gonna be in your book. You, 

Gerry: you- 

Molly: We've all, we've all done- 

Andrea: Yeah ... 

Molly: we've all done stuff like 

Andrea: that ... you, you messed that one up.

I've done stuff like that And because at the time it does make logical sense, right? That if a kid... Like, it's unfair to be like, to like give approval of the behavior by laughing and then write them up. Um, but I learned very quickly how much funnier the kids were than I was estimating them to be. And I'm like, "This is, this is not good," because I- Yep

do not have a poker face. I can't be not writing up some of these kids for some of the stuff they're doing. It's crazy some of the stuff that they would get away with- Right ... because I [00:18:00] couldn't just not laugh. Yeah, and so that was definitely, it was something I had to learn fairly quickly, where I was like, "Okay, no, that's not..."

Um, okay, but I also have a question for you guys- 

Molly: Mm-hmm ... 

Andrea: on how guilty I should feel, um, because my kids are starting a new school. Their previous school, um, shut down, so they're starting a new school. They've been very nervous about it. I was told a certain calendar date that it was gonna start, and... Yes, Gerry?

You're raising your hand. 

Gerry: They 

Molly: can just 

Andrea: shut schools down? I 

Molly: was kind of thinking that. Yeah. I didn't know that 

Andrea: was a thing. Yeah, they can. Yeah, they can when they're in coronavirus. I've heard of it. I didn't 

Gerry: know it actually happened. 

Andrea: Yeah. Um, and so my kids are starting a brand-new school, um, and they're very nervous about it, and I planned out my vacation with the kids to California.

Um, and the plan was we were gonna come back the day before school starts, and in fact, we are coming back the day that school starts, and so therefore they are missing their first day of school. 

Theme: Whoa. 

Molly: How old are your kids? [00:19:00] 

Andrea: Um, six and eight, so first grade and second grade. 

Molly: Oh, okay. 

Andrea: Probably fine, right? Yeah.

Like, first, who cares- 

Molly: I was thinking like- ... 

Andrea: honestly ... 

Molly: yeah, no, I... Oh, I think it's fine. That- Okay, great ... that's gonna buff so fast. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Molly: It's fine. 

Andrea: I just don't... I'm definitely not telling them, though 'Cause if I do they're gonna be like, "Wait, 

Molly: what?" Like- So they're gonna go to school thinking it's the first day but the other kids will think, know it's the second day?

I feel like that's gonna mess with them. Um, 

Andrea: I think I'll tell them. I'm just not gonna tell them until, like, on the way to school. I think that's smart. Because ultimately it doesn't- 

Gerry: Or 

Andrea: maybe the day before. If, if I tell them the day before I'm gonna have to send you a voice memo of what it sounds like when my daughter crashes out that she's not gonna get to hear all the rules for the first time.

Gerry: Okay. See, for your daughter I can see this being a problem. Uh-huh. For your son- My kid will not care. Will 

Andrea: not care ... 

Gerry: your son does not know what a treat this is gonna be for him because now they're gonna have all this newness and they'll have a day to get kind of accustomed to it. Mm-hmm. And then he gets to come in from the [00:20:00] top rope and be like- Oh, yeah

"What's up, guys?" Like- Oh ... "Y'all didn't see me yesterday." He's gonna love 

Andrea: that. He is, he is very excited. He's also, by the way, this kid, he, so a year ago before he started kindergarten could not read. I don't even know if he could really write his name. We didn't, like he, well, he could write his name but he couldn't read.

Molly: That's 

Andrea: fine. Um, he, we went to the library yesterday and he picked up four Goosebump books and I'm like, "Surely not." Like, those are like fourth, fifth grade reading level. I'm like, there's no way, right? Like, I know he's a strong reader. 

Molly: Mm-hmm. 

Andrea: But I feel like that's, there's like, it's not a picture book. Like, there's a picture at the beginning of the chapter, basically that's it.

Molly: Yeah. 

Andrea: He sits down and fully is engrossed in reading these Goosebump books already. Like, and I'm like, well, clearly- Yeah ... like there's no way he's like comprehending, right? So then I'm asking questions like, "Okay, well who's the, like what, what are they there for?" And all, like he's fully comprehending, understanding these Goosebump books and he's going into first grade.

And I'm just, I'm already concerned because I know my [00:21:00] son and I know the kids who caused the most trouble in my classes were the ones who were really funny and really smart and really bored. 

Molly: Mm. 

Andrea: And he is just exactly that kid. I'm like I, should we slow down his reading? Be like, "No, don't read that." But like maybe I'll, maybe I'll open up the world of video games to him to kind of dumb him down a little bit.

Oh my God. Maybe make school a little bit more of a challenge. 

Gerry: I 

Andrea: think- Melt his brain a little bit ... 

Gerry: I feel like th- by the time he get, what's he in second grade? 

Andrea: He's in, he's going into first grade. 

Gerry: Into first grade, yeah. That- 

Andrea: Yeah ... 

Gerry: is close enough. But I think he's gonna, uh, like by the time he gets to third or fourth and he starts to figure out like, or fourth or fifth maybe, maybe not third.

Fourth or fifth and he starts to be able to understand more stuff going on socially- 

Andrea: Mm-hmm ... 

Gerry: like that he'll be able to regulate that 'cause I wasn't that way until I got to high school. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: In third grade I was, or elementary, middle I was super quiet. About ninth, but especially [00:22:00] 10th, 11th, 12th grade I started- Yeah

to realize I wasn't, I was like I'm, I'm s- I'm smart and I'm bored. And really funny. 

Molly: Hell yeah. 

Gerry: And you kind of figure out how to use that to your advantage, and I think he's gonna end up being the one that's like, they're going to love him- Mm-hmm ... and he's gonna use that to advantage, but he's definitely gonna figure out where the line is.

Andrea: Yeah. 

Molly: Well, and again- I literally could relate less to this, but I think that he's gonna end up being the perfect class clown. And that's great. Yeah. That's great because then you know he's gonna grow up and have a, like a dank personality. He's not just- Yeah ... gonna be smart. He's gonna be, like he's, it's gonna, he's gonna be well-rounded as a person, and he's 

Andrea: gonna have a lot of friends.

We hope. Yeah. We, yeah, I just, you know, as a teacher and a mom, I'm like, I'm seeing, I'm seeing- You know what's gonna happen ... the storm clouds gathering. Yeah. Um, speaking of- But at least you 

Molly: have a 

Andrea: parent that's 

Molly: self-aware. 

Andrea: Yeah. I try to be Your son, your 

Gerry: son's my second favorite in your family. 

Andrea: Is Steven your favorite?

Gerry: Yeah. 

Andrea: Yeah. [00:23:00] That's fair. Yeah. 

Gerry: And if, and if your daughter hadn't caught that little a- I still, I'm holding that grudge. If your daughter- I mean- ... hadn't caught that little attitude with me, you, you, you might be cooked, but anyway. What'd you 

Andrea: do to her? And those of you guys that- I 

Molly: bet it was 

Andrea: deserved ... he overstayed his welcome according to my daughter.

She basically said- Shut up ... like, "When are," she's like, "When are you leaving?" 'Cause he had said initially he was leaving in the morning, and then it was like, I don't know, 2:00 PM or something. And she's like- 

Gerry: Here, here was 

Andrea: the problem- ... "When are you leaving? 

Gerry: It's time to go" ... Molly, was I had, is I told them I was leaving at a time, but I had no plan for what was actually gonna happen when I left.

Molly: Mm-hmm. 

Gerry: Mm-hmm. And, and I, do you know why I think she was annoyed was because I had been there at that point long enough that I was like, "I feel like I've overstayed my welcome, but I also don't know what to do when I leave." I'm like, "I don't know where to go." I'm like, "Do I go all the way home? Do I spend the night somewhere?

What do I do?" 

Andrea: Yeah. And she didn't care what you did after you left. No. It's like, "Get out." She just wanted you out of her house. "This is my 

Gerry: house." Yeah. She was, she was like, "You should be leaving now, shouldn't you?" I'm like, "Okay." 

Andrea: Yeah. She- That's so 

Molly: hilarious ... [00:24:00] 

Andrea: and she wasn't trying to be rude. She just genuinely was curious of like, why are you still here?

Like, she wasn't- The 

Molly: time has passed that you said ... 

Andrea: which is, I think, yeah. And she loves structure, and she loves a plan, and she loves an agenda. And so the fact that, like, you had overstayed your stated time, she was like, "Get out. Get out." That's 

Gerry: fair. 

Andrea: So- 

Molly: Listen, there's a sense of, there's a sense of relax when strangers are out of your home, and she was ready to hang loose, and she just couldn't yet.

Andrea: Yeah. Yeah. I think so. Um- There's a stranger 

Molly: in the home. 

Andrea: Stranger danger. Um, okay, guys, we have, um, a question that somebody sent in, and we are gonna get to that right after this quick break. Be right back. Can I take a 

Gerry: potty break? 

Andrea: Go for it.

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Well, that's exactly what my standup show is, and I'm gonna be coming to a town near you super soon. You can get tickets at educatorandrea.com/tickets

Welcome back, teacher besties. So, um, although most of our listeners have probably already started back to school, um, I know there are some- You 

Gerry: think so? Yeah. Well, by the time that this comes out- Oh, no. Yeah, my, my bad ... 

Andrea: we had a question about back to school fears, especially for new teachers. What are some back to school fears or worries that you feel like you could debunk, especially for our new teachers?

'Cause I do remember when I was a baby teacher and I first came in, and I remember I, I could s- I went to check my mailbox, which was of course completely empty, and my hand was shaking because I was so nervous And I was, like, standing there just, like, staring at my mailbox, and then there was a teacher who was in, like, year seven or something, and she came in there and she was, like, making copies.

And she's like, "How are you [00:27:00] feeling?" And I was like, "I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm..." And she's like, "Yeah. No, it's okay." She's like, "It kinda feels like that every year." 

Theme: Yeah. 

Andrea: She's like, "You just, you just go with it. They don't care." Yep. "They don't care. Just do it." And I was like- You're 

Molly: almost all 

Andrea: done ... oh. Well, all right.

Because I'm like, I don't have my curriculum set, I don't have my lesson plan set, I don't have all my slides for the month, 'cause I had set these- Mm-hmm ... expectations for myself that were insane. Um, so I think that the, the thing, the advice and this sounds, um, kinda sad, your students don't care that much.

As much as you care so much more than they do, and they don't know what you had in your head of what it's gonna be, and you are holding yourself to a standard that no one else is holding you to, so just, like, just chill. It's gonna be fine. Yeah. 

Molly: Mine- 

Andrea: Genuinely, it's gonna be fine. 

Molly: Can I piggyback off that?

Andrea: Yeah. 

Molly: Okay. I had the, I... Oh my gosh. I had the sweetest little first-year teacher DM me, and she sent me this long paragraph the other day, and it, like, transported me back to my first year teaching. 'Cause [00:28:00] I feel like this summer going in, every day of the summer I had knots in my stomach because I was like, "I literally don't even know what the first unit's supposed to be.

Like, I got this job and I don't, I don't actually know how to t- what am I supposed to be teaching? Like, I, I, I don't even know." And I was freaking out thinking, like, I needed to have, like, a, a year at a glance planned and all of these things, and I didn't even know, like, what the units were going to be or whatever.

And so I feel like there's so many first-year teachers, even though that they are gonna hear this and they're gonna be already in their, like, starting or whatever, I want them to know, like, just take it one unit at a time. Like, take it one unit at a time- Yeah ... and, like, go see what the other teachers are doing and just do that your first year.

You don't have to make new lessons your first year. 

Andrea: 100%. 

Molly: Go and copy what other people do, and then the next year when you're like, "Oh, okay, like, I actually kind of know just how a school day works," then you can, like, tweak it and make it your own. But you don't have to have the whole [00:29:00] year planned all at once.

So if you're, like, hearing this and you're like, "I don't know what my next unit is," get, like, a summative, get a, a, a topic, and go from there. Like, ask the... Like, mooch off of the other teachers and, like, you don't need to know your curriculum all at once. Like, I was- Yeah ... freaking out. And guess what? The teachers that were at the school handed me their folders, and I was like, "Oh.

Oh, okay." 

Andrea: Yeah. "

Molly: So I can just do this." Yeah. It was great 

Andrea: I think that's the craziest thing is most of the places that I've taught at, um, they gave me the curriculum like two days before school was supposed to start. Literally. 

Molly: Like 

Andrea: my, my first teaching job ever, I will never forget, like I was crashing out.

When you said that, I immediately remembered back to going to like the HR meeting, which was two weeks before school started, and finding out about health insurance and all that kind of stuff, and me like asking and begging every single person, "Who can I talk to about what the curriculum is?" And they're like, "Oh, well, the state standards are online."

And I'm like, "What?" Yes. [00:30:00] What? Like, what do you mean the state standards- Yes ... are just online? And then I started, and they gave me, because when I started it was 2013, and so they gave me this huge like four-inch binder And I open the binder, it says unit one. And then in every single worksheet, and every single, like the summative was at the end.

But you're so right. Like, if they just start with like, "Unit one needs to be six weeks long, and this is the summative that they're gonna have," great. That gives you something. And the first, like, two class periods, all you're doing is getting to know the kids anyways. 

Molly: Mm-hmm. 

Andrea: Doing, like, fun activities- Yep

culture building. Unless you're me, and it's like the 

Molly: whole first week. Like, I'm doing the whole 

Andrea: week. I mean, I was- Amen- amen, queen ... I, I said the first two weeks 'cause I was afraid of Gerry judging me, because I was like, "I'm gonna do it for a week," but- Guys, 

Molly: my birthday is always, like, the first or second week of school, and I have a birthday activity that I do with them.

Incredible. So this year it's the second week of school, so I'm like, "I guess we're doing get to know you for a week." 'Cause it's, like, kind of a get to know you thing. So I'm like, "I'm gonna get us- Yeah ... to my birthday," and then we start [00:31:00] every year. 

Andrea: Okay. I think maybe we could also share what are the, like, get to know you icebreaker culture-building activities that you guys do in your class, just to give people ideas.

Gerry: I was actually gonna ask, 'cause I'm thinking about doing something different this year. I wanna do essentially, like, a, kind of like a two truths and a lie type thing, but not two truths and a lie. I want it to be about me, and I kind of wanna give them questions where they're like, "Is this true about, which is the truth that he's telling me?"

Like, maybe 

Molly: like- Gerry, that's literally what I do. Do you want me to tell you what I do? 

Gerry: Yeah, go ahead. 

Molly: Sorry I'm interrupting you, but this might, like, be the solution- You're good ... to what you're, like, thinking about. Okay. I give them a s- I have a slideshow, and it's just basic statements about me, and yeah, they literally have to decide.

But I have them in a group, and they have to, they have no context clues. They're literally just, like, guessing/looking around my room. So, like, and they're stupid things, like where my dream vacation is to go. They have no way of knowing where that [00:32:00] is. Yeah. But I just have these. So then when, and they have to hold up, like, a color of, like, I give them construction paper, and it's like this, this side is, like, the blue side, this side's the red side.

But they all have to agree as a team on a color, and then they hold it up. And then if they're right- Yeah ... I can, like, explain the answer to them, so they're learning things about me. And then the winners get candy. So 

Gerry: my brainstorm was, like, a do, do like a cap or no cap. And, like, have, "Here's one, here's the other."

Like, 'cause now that I do stand up and ha- I, not that I have an online presence, but I at least have relations with people who have online presence. I've met or have relations with people who they have heard of. Like, I, like a lot of the people in Raleigh wrote for MrBeast, and these kids love MrBeast. So it's like, I know people who are writers for MrBeast.

Dude, he's from my hometown. Yeah. Did you know that? He lives, like, an hour and 10 minutes from me now. 

Molly: That's 

Gerry: crazy. Really? In Green- you know, in Greenville, North Carolina. No, he's from Kansas. Yeah. Yeah. It's [00:33:00] crazy. And it's like, like, one of the dudes who's, like, his cameraman is a com- he does standup sometimes and, um- Uh, Greenville area, and he's come through, and he followed me after my cookout clip went 

Molly: viral.

Gerry: Uh, not, not even, not viral, but, like, in this region, it got, it got pushed out a lot. And then there's another YouTuber named Tommy Innit who I met and follows me, and I, I worked with one time, and they knew who he was, and that was, like, the first time I was able, a- a- ever able to actually flex something I was doing to, for them to relate to.

So there's stuff like- Yeah ... that and just different fun facts. It's like, yeah, I could kind of do, like, my get to know you rather than showing them the presentation like I have them do. Do, like, a, "Hey, which of these things is true?" 

Theme: Mm. 

Gerry: Um- 

Molly: I like that. Yeah, like a, it's like a gamified version of getting to know you.

Gerry: Yeah, like- Yeah ... um, they had, our school did one, they call it Staff Jeopardy. 

Molly: Mm-hmm. 

Gerry: Um, where they [00:34:00] did, the week after EOGs, they let the eighth graders play it, which I, I feel bad now in hindsight 'cause I lied on all of mine. I made stuff up 

Molly: Like why? 

Gerry: I'm a... Sure. I can't remember. I just wrote something 

Molly: down.

Like cool stuff. Like, did you make up cool stuff about yourself? 

Gerry: It was cool, but like far, it was far-fetched, but not so far fet- Like, one of them was that I had had lunch with President Obama. 

Molly: Why did you do that? Obama. 

Andrea: I think when he did two truths and a lie on here, he also brought up Obama. He was like, "Yeah, I met him when I was in third grade."

Yeah, 

Gerry: he tends to be my go-to. Well- Yeah ... in my defense, so I'm 27. Um, there haven't been very many presidents that people didn't have a strong feeling one way towards or another without- So you were like- ... 

Andrea: going too deep into it ... he's a safe one. Um- 

Gerry: Yeah, like the other 12 years of my life, there's been a very controversial regard- I don't care what you think about him.

I, it doesn't, doesn't matter to me what is, I'm not- But he's probably the most neutral- Using him as my example ... is what you're saying. You know? 

Andrea: Right. 

Gerry: It's one, it's like, yeah, regardless [00:35:00] of how people feel, I'm not even bringing it up 'cause somebody, people have strong feelings. I feel like people- Fair ... who even didn't like Obama are gonna be like, "Yeah, well, he was the president."

Like- 

Molly: Oh, yeah, did- Right? ... him, yeah. Okay, fair. Yeah. So I did some- Or 

Gerry: Biden could be another one, but. 

Andrea: I, I did something, um, that kind of also was along those same lines, but I would do an investigate the teacher. And so I, they weren't allowed to touch my desk or anything on my desk, but they were allowed to get up, and they had five minutes to jot down a bunch of notes, and I had them, because I was an English teacher, I gave them like a frame where it was like claim, evidence, and reasoning.

And so they would have to come up with a claim about me. Their evidence would be something they found in my room, and their reasoning would be they'd have to explain it. And then they would have five minutes to do that. They'd write it all down, and then when they all sat down, they would like share it with somebody next to them, and they would ha- Like, and then I would have them decide which one they thought was like the stronger of their two, and then they would write it on the, like they would either put a Post-it note up, and I would get some of the [00:36:00] funniest stuff said about me.

And it let me know, number one, like who's more shy, who's a little bit, like who's gonna be my jokester, who's gonna be like just gonna be very academic with it. Um, and it also kind of allows them to move around, 'cause I always like to give them the opportunity to move around so I can see how possible that will be that semester.

'Cause sometimes the classes cannot handle being allowed to move. They'll lose their minds, and sometimes it goes great. Um, we also do a lot of just like fun collaborative type things that are- Mm-hmm ... more based on, um, getting to know each other than me. So we do this, uh, little scribble collage thing where I basically, um, I have one student is facing the board, and I'll have a picture of something on the board.

The other student is facing the opposite direction. The student who's facing the board has to describe what's on the projector, and the other kid has to try and draw it. And then they, like, after one minute they turn around and they see actually [00:37:00] what it was, but they're not allowed to say like, "Oh, it's a dog."

They have to say like, "Okay, it's this thing that has a nose and ears," and it gets them talking to each other and laughing and all that. I have a couple of other ones too, but my goal is always to get them yapping with each other- Yeah ... comfortable with each other, and kind of showing them- Looking silly

yeah, like allowing them to recognize like it's none of it n- like, I want us to take the work seriously, but it's also totally okay to be wrong sometimes. Like, it's all right to look a little silly if nothing is that serious other than- Mm-hmm ... my cell phone policy. 

Molly: Yeah. 

Andrea: That one's serious. 

Gerry: That's, that's one thing I wanna be better, like now that I don't have this cloud over me, um, and again, this is probably ambitious.

Normally I don't get super ambitious going to school. The only thing I get ambitious about is I'm gonna be better about putting grades. Mm. I do not have a grading system, and I'm terrible at it. But, like, I've also lost 50-something pounds since the beginning of last year. Like, I [00:38:00] feel better. I can get up and move.

That's awesome. Like I, I don't, I have energy, and I don't have this alternative licensure thing looming over my head anymore. And it's like- And the edTPA and all of that ... I can actually try and do, yes, I can try and do stuff now without this- Yeah ... added stress that I had. Like, it's like all I have to worry about now is teaching and doing stand-up.

And it's like- Yeah ... I don't have to worry about being a student anymore either. Um- 

Andrea: Yeah ... 

Gerry: w- especially when being a student affects your employment directly. Um- 

Andrea: Right ... 

Gerry: but that's, um, something I've thought about is like how I can, uh, build more like activities into the class and just also, 'cause we'll, we'll sometimes do stuff where it's like I like letting them watch Shark Tank, and they can watch these sales pitches and w- and understand, like I've had, gotten them to a point where they can have an opinion on a sales evaluation, like how much they think a company is worth.

I'm like, "Guys, I was not clicking [00:39:00] this at your age. I was not clocking what they were saying." Right. Uh, about, about how the percentage is related to evaluations and whatnot. Yeah. But it's, um, I wanna be able to do more stuff like that. And my curriculum, if I have a s- semester-long class, there's 18 weeks, I c- I think.

Oh, yeah, 18 weeks. Um, sometimes I only have two or three wor- weeks worth of, like, work and standards from what I can find- Yeah ... for my curriculum. So I'm, I'm kind of having to make it up as I go along. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Molly: Yeah. So 

Andrea: I think, I think that's something that new teachers also think they're the only ones that are having to make stuff up as they go.

They think everyone else is, like, locked in, and the reality is the best teachers do have, like, a, a skeleton structure for what the year is gonna go like, what your summatives are gonna be. But all of us are just, like, kinda making it up as we go along. Like, we're all just- 1000%. 

Gerry: That's what gave me a lot of comfort when I started.

I was an IA for a week, a [00:40:00] instructional assistant, and I realized, oh, nobody really knows exactly what they're doing. Like, it kinda debunked- Well- ... for me, like, that all my teachers had planned, all my teachers knew how everything was gonna go perfectly, and it's like, you can have an idea, but you have to adapt.

And- 

Theme: Yeah ... 

Gerry: that's kind of what I'm trying to get comfortable doing is, like, let me, let me adapt. And sometimes I've shown up and had a class given to me. They're like, "Hey, such and such isn't teaching this anymore. Do you wanna teach it?" And I change. And that happened to me last school year. I, I started teaching marketing.

There was little to no cur- curriculum for it. Yeah. And I found out I was teaching it five days before school started. Oof. I was literally finishing the PowerPoint and then going into class and teaching it. And- 

Molly: Yeah. 

Gerry: Yep ... it's not a good way to do it, but it was- But people- 

Molly: It's also, 

Gerry: like- 

Molly: I think first-year teachers don't realize veteran teachers are still having to do that, so it's okay- 

Andrea: Yeah

Molly: if they're doing that, you know? 

Andrea: That I'm, like, polishing up my slides while taking attendance, while my students are filing in. Yes. And I'm like, "Oh, I better [00:41:00] finish that real quick." Like, it happens. Yeah. It's okay. They don't, they don't know. It's fine. Um- 

Gerry: That's what's 

Andrea: fun 

Gerry: for me, like, being in a different, uh- Like, I'm not in English or math or anything.

I can sometimes have different classes within the same unit and, uh, kind of like challenge myself and change what I'm teaching 'cause I don't have to teach to a state standard. I can say as long as I'm meeting my standards, I can change it as much as I want. Right. 

Molly: See, you're more ambitious than you give yourself credit for.

That's ambitious right there. 

Gerry: Don't do that to me, Molly. I don't think you give yourself e- No, don't, don't- What? ... don't boost my h- Shut up. Don't, don't do that. Oh, 

Molly: sorry. All right. You're 

Gerry: right. 

Molly: Molly, no, no. No, you 

Gerry: suck. No, no. Yeah. Look, no, look, no, look, it's all love. Just let me be mid. Let me be mid. Don't, don't do it.

Okay. All right. Don't do that. Don't do that. You, 'cause then you 

Molly: have to live up to the standard that you set for yourself, so it's 

Gerry: true. Yeah, no, and I, I like- That's dangerous ... to keep the bar low so that way when if I go over that bar- Right ... then they're like, "Yo- Everyone's so happy ... I ain't know you can do this."

You're happy. I'm like, "Yeah- There they are ... I don't want y'all to think I know what I'm doing." 

Molly: I do this, I do that, and [00:42:00] listen, I get it, but I also think that people don't realize the difference between elementary and secondary because it, first of all, let, let the record show I think being an elementary teacher is so hard, okay?

Yeah. However, curriculum looks very different. A lot of the curriculum at the elementary level, it is very structured because, like, for example, in English, it is the science of reading a lot more, not as much the art of reading in literature, and so it has to be structured. It has to be, like, following a textbook and the activities- It, it, you should, right?

Like, that is helpful. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Molly: I have never been in a school at the secondary level where a textbook has served English well. It serves something like- Agreed ... math really well. A textbook has been a resource, or I mean a tool, not the curriculum, because at that age it's a lot more of the art of reading and less the science of reading.

So a lot of secondary teachers are, they might use the skeletal units of a [00:43:00] curriculum, but the everyday- Yeah ... teaching and practices are so different because, like, I'm like, I... They might ask two comprehension questions or two questions about, that have anything to do with context clues, and that- that's all the practice that they're getting in that.

It's like- Yeah ... okay, I'm supplementing that with my own stuff. And so, uh, like, if you're a, if you're a new teacher coming in and you're like, "Where's the textbook?" at the secondary level, be open-minded to the fact that, like, a lot of teachers aren't necessarily following that, but if you need that for your first year, great.

If you don't- Right ... wanna use that, a lot of secondary teachers aren't using that because it just sometimes isn't best practice for the subject. I've, 

Gerry: yeah, I've only taught tech classes and PE, so it's, I don't have much to speak from. But I, I, I have a video where I crowd worked a lady who taught ESL, and I said, and I stand by, I was like, "I think ESL might be the hardest thing to teach."

'Cause to me, that, and the reason I bring that up, is because bringing it back to the science of [00:44:00] teaching someone how to read as opposed to approaching it as an art, I, to me, I, I can't even, I can't remember learning how to read. I just know I did And the fact that like, is an actual thing where people, elementary teachers, if you, if you listening, golf clap.

'Cause I don't know how you're teaching people how to read. I don't know- Same ... how you're teaching people another language. 'Cause to me it's a, you get it enough and you repeat it and you know it. That's not how it works. And- 

Andrea: Yeah ... 

Gerry: I, I don't, I don't get it. I, I really don't. Like, I feel like I'm not a math person, but I think if I locked in, I could teach, learn how to teach math.

Same thing for most subjects. I don't think I could learn how to teach someone English, whether it's them learning how to read and speak in proper grammar or whatever, or learning it as a second language. I, I don't, I don't know. Yeah. It doesn't make sense 

Andrea: to me. It is, it, it is crazy, 'cause I, when my kiddos, when my daughter was in kindergarten, she was learning how to read, and [00:45:00] she had a really hard time.

And so I went in and s- had like a conference with the kindergarten teacher, and she's like, "Well, you have your PhD in curriculum and instruction." I was like, "Yeah, I do." She's like, "So you know." And I'm like, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no. I, I don't know. I don't, I have literally not looked at this part of learning probably ever."

And she's like, "Well, you know, they're gonna, they're gonna be learning the phonemes and they're gonna be learn..." And she's using all of these words that I'm like, "I don't know what these words mean," because it's not- It's like linguistics ... anything I've ever... Yes. And I'm like, "I haven't thought about phonics at all in I don't know how long."

I'm like, "Please just, like, uh, explain to me exactly what you m- and maybe define some words for me," because it is just a different skill set, so. 

Molly: Exactly. It's 

Andrea: crazy. Um, yeah, we, we love, we love our kindergarten teachers. Um, do you guys, before we get out of here, do you guys have any hills that you wanna die on, on this fine, beautiful day?

Molly: Always. 

Andrea: Gerry doesn't. Gerry's just 

Gerry: floating along. I feel like this is the first sep- [00:46:00] or like the episode where I've had the most productive things to say. 

Andrea: He's like, he's, "I'm done." 

Gerry: I think I'm cooking. 

Andrea: Done. Crushed it. 

Gerry: I knew I was cooking when I started to speak and saw- Mm-hmm ... Andrea's face change, where she was like, "God, I was gonna change the subject," but I'm like, "Nah, I'm, I'm on one right now.

I'm locked in." I could see it on your face and you're like, "I don't know what this is about to be." 

Andrea: Yeah. Sometimes I get a little scared, Gerry. I'm not gonna lie. There are times. I don't really have any hills I'm gonna die on because, um... Oh, here's one. Um, all rules about kids and screen time, they no longer count if you are traveling.

If you are gonna be, whether it be a road trip or an airplane ride, it's fine. Fair. It's fine because I'm about to get on a plane with my kids, and as it is right now, we have tablets, but they're only allowed to use it for Khan Academy. That's it. And tomorrow they're [00:47:00] gonna get to watch whatever shows, games.

There's a couple Lego downloads. Vacation. Like, whatever. It's- 

Theme: Mm. 

Andrea: It's vacation. I'm not gonna sit there and just, like, be working the whole time. Like, uh, every other person on the entire plane is gonna be watching something on their phones, and I am usually very strict about that, but nah, not tomorrow.

Tomorrow they're gonna get to do whatever, you know? Cool, cool. Just as a gift to everyone on that Southwest flight. You're welcome. Uh, yeah, so screen time doesn't exist- We'll take it home ... if you're in the air. Yep. Do you have one, Molly? 

Molly: Uh, I think that's valid. Um, I have so many. I can't decide between a- the few I want to die on right now.

Um, I have so many opinions. It's so insane. I think that I think I'm gonna start with this one. If you are, I'm just gonna say it as a female, but I think it- obviously it can go either way. If you're someone who is [00:48:00] meeting a female who is a teacher, and you find that person attractive, don't say things like, "Man, if you were my teacher"- 

Andrea: Ugh

Molly: "I'd have a fat crush on you." Ugh. Wow, I bet, I bet all the kid, blah, blah. That's creepy. Ew. That is, um, what's the word? Um- 

Andrea: Predatory. 

Molly: Predatory. 

Andrea: Pedophilic. 

Molly: And that is making me... Like, I don't take that as a compliment because I don't... That's... It's a weird thing to say, and it doesn't- Yeah ... come off as flirting.

It comes off as predatory. Yeah. So don't say that to any teacher ever because w- we are quite literally there to protect kids from people that make comments like that about them, actually. Yeah. And so saying that to the person that's there to protect the kids is, like, doubling down on the predatoriness almost.

It's like going up to a cop and being like, "Wow, I'm gonna [00:49:00] commit a crime right in front of your face." Like, you know what I mean? It's giving the same energy. Yeah. It's just gross. And so my hill to die on is literally don't ever say that to any teacher or mentor figure. 

Andrea: Yeah, don't fetishize teachers to a teacher.

Molly: There, that's, th- you summed that up beautifully. Thank you 

Andrea: You're so welcome. Yeah. 

Molly: That's 

Andrea: my Hilda DePree. Hard 

Molly: pass is 

Gerry: good. I, I 100% agree. That sounds 

Molly: like a bad intro. 

Gerry: Jerry's back there in the DMs like- No, no, listen ...,"If you were my teacher." No, no, I don't do that. He's like, "

Molly: No, you, you're out the boys. L- listen, listen."

Gerry: But let's, let's change this to the summer school for boys for a second, Molly. I have a question. 

Molly: Yeah. 

Gerry: I do 100% agree with what you said. I'm trying to think of the way to say my next thought without sounding like I don't- 

Molly: Sounding weird ... 

Gerry: if, I feel like there are men who, like, if someone does a career and that's someone they're attracted to, there is a career that's attractive to them.

Like, I, um, for some reason end up attracted to people in the medical field a lot. I do not think the medical field's attractive. 

Andrea: That's why you like Steven. 

Gerry: But, yeah, that's why I like Steven. [00:50:00] But when, if I match with a girl on Amior Girl, whatever, and I think she's attractive and she says she's a teacher, that to me is, like, extra points.

I don't know if that's 'cause I'm in teacher- 'Cause it's nurturing ... if that's 'cause I value- 

Molly: Like, you, she's probably nurturing ... 

Gerry: yeah, it could be- You know? ... like valuing, like, I value the traits that a teacher would have, and knowing that you being a teacher could correlate with you having those traits, um, in addition to whatever I already felt about you, that could, um- 

Molly: Be extra

Gerry: enhance it. Right. Do you think there's a right way to approach saying something like that? Do you think you keep that to yourself? Like, how do you... Like, I, that- Okay ... that's a very different thing than what you were saying is creepy. I, I feel like- 

Molly: Uh-huh ... 

Gerry: if I'm wrong, 

Molly: correct. I think, I think what you're saying is fine.

I think that's totally fine. I think, especially because, like, okay, let's just talk about, like, our society, right? Like, it's a female-dominated field for historic reasons and all the things and blah, blah, blah, and the thought of working with children is naturally [00:51:00] going to, um, we're gonna associate that with women and nurturing and being mothers and, and whatever.

Okay? Like, that's just i- our society. That's, whatever- Yeah ... all the connotations. Um, and so I think saying, like, "Oh," like, "you must be a caring person," like that sort of thing, fine. Okay? Now, what I think it is, is people will say it. If you match with a girl on Hinge, and you say, like, "Oh, you're a teacher," like, "I would've had a crush on you," that's very different than saying, "I find it attractive that you are a teacher because that's, like, that's, like, an honorable field to be in," or whatever.

That is completely different, and a lot of guys do it in, like, the fetish-y, weird way. And- 

Andrea: Yeah ... 

Molly: I can, here's the thing. Like, I can understand that, like, when I was in school, I remember there was a male teacher. He was, like, a young guy. Hot. He was hot, okay? Now, like, w- my friends and I as high schoolers crushed on him.

Okay? I think that that's normal for young kids. It's no different than crushing on an older celebrity, right? Like, whatever. [00:52:00] Um, it's weird to now be an adult- 

Andrea: Yeah ... 

Molly: and go back to that. Like instead I think if you wanna joke about that, I think that there's a way to, there's a very fine line, and there's maybe a way to do it tastefully where you're like, and maybe not.

But where you're like, "Man, when I was young, like there was a teacher that like, there was a hot teacher at the school, like I had a fat crush on her." And be li- you know, maybe, but even still it's like associating. 

Andrea: I don't know Even still, I think- It's tricky ... I think the problem lies with like them associating themselves not with a fellow adult, but at like putting themselves in the position of a student is- Yeah

is what is the ick to me. It's like, "If I were one of your students," and I'm like, if you were one of my students- 

Molly: We wouldn't be talking right now ... 

Andrea: no. We would not be dis- uh, no, not talking at all. Like ew. 

Molly: Exactly. Ew. Like, I, like that's, if you were one of my students then that would just be it. You're my...

Like, you know what I mean? It's like a weird context- Yeah ... you put yourself in. And I just think that- Yeah ... and the only reason I say men is 'cause I hear it the most from [00:53:00] them. And I just think- Yeah ... that it needs to go away because I don't think, like I'm telling you right now, men, you sound predatory when you say that.

Gerry: That's creepy. And, and, and I, I don't think it would ever happen to a man the other way, where a woman's like, "Man, if you were my teacher I had a crush on you." I, I think women are smart enough to not say something stupid. Everyone would be like, "Ew." They'd be like, "I have-" Like, I even think that's like, like that's a, and, and I agree with the sa- the idea, but it's even a difference in my brain the way it registers is if I said, "Oh, if I had a teacher like you, I had a crush on you," 'cause that's a weird way of saying, "Hey, I have a crush on you, and I would have felt the same- I find you attractive

if I was your student." Whereas- Just say it Right ... whereas, like if they said, "Oh, I wish I had a teacher like you," that feels sexual and predatory, and they just like- Yeah. Ugh ... oh, you're telling me that you would make this person you, that you're telling me that if I was your teacher you would make me want to ruin my life over- Gross

a [00:54:00] relationship with you? Like, that's gross. Even that is like- Gross ... a, a- above saying, "Oh, if you were my teacher I have a crush on you," to me. Even though they're both weird, this one's like, yeah, that was weird. Probably shouldn't have said that. This one's like, yeah, that was creepy, bro. Like- And then what are you expecting me to 

Molly: reply

it just, it makes no sense. Other than ew. Like what do you, what am I supposed to say back to that? 

Gerry: Right. 

Molly: Yeah. Like- Dude, yeah I love that. Ugh Like, thank you? No. I, I, 

Gerry: I- 

Molly: Ew ... 

Gerry: this isn't something I would've s- I, I would say, but even it registers the same point. Like, how are you supposed to respond to that? I would never register thinking of how to respond to something like that.

I wouldn't probably say that in the first place. But like what's your response supposed to be? Oh, if you were my student I had a crush on me. Mm. Like no, that's weird. That's- 

Andrea: Yeah. Let's- 

Molly: Like, what do you expect me to say back to that? And so it just makes- Yeah Right ... the situation weird. So if you come across a, a teacher, a, a, someone that you find attractive that is also a teacher Don't put the two together.

Easy, easy. Right. Keep them separate. Yep. [00:55:00] Just say, "You're an attractive person. It's cool that you're a teacher." Yep, that's 

Andrea: it. The end. Full stop. 

Gerry: That's my hill to die on. It's, it's not a weird thing to be attracted to someone maybe a little more based on the career they do. It's weird when you try and, like- Sexualize it

fetishize it, like Andrea said. Yeah. Like, like, uh, like, if you're attracted to someone who's, like, maybe an accountant, it's like, oh, I might like X, Y, and Z. I can't get why somebody would be attracted to an accountant because they're an accountant. But I'm sure something exists. Stable. Like, like, nurses and teachers I feel like are the obvious ones to find traits in- Yeah

and say, "Oh, this is why a person's attracted to me." Yeah. 

Molly: Oh my God, guys, really quickly on, with this hill to die on, I gotta tell you this really quick before we go. I'm so sorry. I'm putting a video out today about it. The other day, someone of the male species described me as sturdy. He said, "You're a sturdy girl, huh?"

Andrea: And you said in response to that? 

Molly: I said ... I didn't. I gave him a look. I said ... And he goes, "No, no, no, no. I just mean, like, you [00:56:00] know, you're, you're like a tall girl." And you're like- Wait, this happened 

Gerry: in person or like 

Molly: in your comments? "You got, like ... You got, like, some good meat on your bones. Like, you're a tall girl.

You got some meat on your bones. You're, like, sturdy." And I said- 

Andrea: Oh ... "

Molly: Huh. Interesting." He goes, "Oh, sorry. I just ... You're athletic." He's like, "I don't ... I'm gonna see my way out." He said this in person? 

Andrea: Mm-hmm. Was this in real, in real life? 

Molly: Real life. Real lifetime. Yeah. 

Andrea: Wow. Um, I will, and we can, we can end on this. Uh, my sweet, wonderful husband, early on in our marriage, we were talking about cheerleading because I had tried out to be a cheerleader when I was in middle school, only once.

Very traumatic experience. Um- We 

Molly: gotta hear about that next time ... 

Andrea: did not, didn't ... Yeah, d- we can open next time with that. But I was like, I could have ... I feel like maybe if I kept going, I could have tried to become a cheerleader. And my husband said, "Yeah, maybe as a base." Ugh. Base. Even- Which is a crazy, crazy pull.

And the m- and there was, like, that beat where I said, "What?" And he's like, "Wait. No. [00:57:00] That's not ... No, no. No." And he's like, "No, because you're, like, tough." And I'm like, "You're done. 

Molly: You're done." He's like, "I love you too hard." 

Andrea: You're done. And we've been married now for I don't even know how many years, like 18 years.

Um, and it was, like, at year three. And I remind him often. Ah. Like, something'll happen and I'll be like, "Well, maybe as a base. Am I right?" As 

Molly: you should. That's funny. 

Gerry: Yeah. 

Andrea: That resonates. For-ever 

Gerry: Let, let me tell you, listen, Na- uh, Molly, if that ever happens again, be like, "You wanna see something sturdy?" And show him a picture of me.

I'm sturdy as hell. Like- 

Andrea: You know 

Gerry: what? I'm on the ground. So, like- Like, 

Andrea: this is ... You're stable This is Big Dog Gerry over here. 

Gerry: I'm stable as you please. Everyone wants someone 

Andrea: stable. 

Gerry: Stable. I'm, I'm, I am, I, I ... My gravity is insane. Yeah. I am rooted. 

Andrea: I like that. My gravity- I love it ... is insane. You need to put that in your stand-up set, Gerry.

My gravity is insane- My gravity is insane ... is a really funny bit. Um, all right, guys. If you have thoughts about what we talked about today, you can contact us, [00:58:00] andrea@human-content.com, or you can contact me @educatorandrea, and Gerry at- 

Gerry: I am @comedybygp on TikTok and Instagram. 

Molly: You can find me at @ms.dugan1 on Instagram and TikTok.

Andrea: Nice. And you can catch the full video episodes, uh, every week on YouTube at Educator Andrea. Thank you so much for listening. I'm your host, Andrea Forkham. 

Gerry: I'm Gerry Patoka. 

Molly: And I'm Molly Dugan. 

Andrea: And our executive producers are Andrea Forkham, Aron Korney, Rob Goldman, and Shahnti Brooke. Our editor is Andrew Sims.

Our engineer is Jason Portizo. Our music is by Omer Ben-Zvi. To learn more about How to Survive the Classroom's program disclaimer and ethics policy and submission verification and licensing terms, you can go to podcasterandrea.com. How to Survive the Classroom is a Human Content production. 

Theme: How to Survive the Class-

Andrea: Thank you so much for watching. Want more of How to Survive the Classroom? You can watch more episodes right [00:59:00] now. Just click on that little box over there. You see it? And if you haven't yet, please subscribe. Okay, bye.

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