How Did a Safety Talk Turn Into a Crime Plot?

Andrea: [00:00:00] I do wonder sometimes what their precious teachers are hearing at school. Like, are the teachers sitting there like, what did you talk about at home last night? And they're like, well, mommy told us that if we, if somebody came to our house, we'd chop them up and we'd flush 'em down the toilet and that we would be safe.

Hey, teacher besties. I am. So excited to share with you that my book, they never Taught us, that is available for pre-order right now. It is everything in experience first year teachers need to manage the chaos of the modern classroom, including some anecdotes to make you feel a little bit better because if there's a way you can screw up, I have probably done it.

It also has advice on how to build trust with families, how to manage grading and lesson plans, and IE. Everything in between that they never went over in your teacher prep program, they never taught us. That is available everywhere right now for pre-order.[00:01:00] 

Hey, teacher besties. Welcome to How to Survive the Classroom. I have to tell you guys that I, this is a moment of acknowledgement that I, um. I was wrong. Okay. And I need to apologize to the people of Texas because I grew up in San Diego and San Diegos that well, I mean. I'm gonna be honest, San Agans do think that they live in the only place worth living in on planet Earth.

Um, and on top of that, they also feel pretty passionately that the Mexican food in San Diego is the best Mexican food on planet Earth other than in Mexico itself, obviously. Um, and I had, we had our teachers lounge shows this last weekend in Houston. And Addison, which is like outside of Dallas area, and I had so many people tell me like, no, Andrea, you have to get some Tex-Mex.

And I don't know if it's just because the only Tex-Mex that I've had is like other area interpretations of Tex-Mex. Because what [00:02:00] I thought of, when I thought of Tex-Mex, I thought of like. Velv Vita. I thought of like a lot of corn for some reason, like a lot of sweet corn involved in it. Um, and I don't know where that came from.

Maybe there's like a Tex-Mex chili that had corn in it. I don't know. Um, but we had our shows in Dallas and I cannot even say we went to this spot called Mexican Sugar afterwards and. It was the best Mexican food I think I've maybe ever had. Um, it was phenomenal and I was like, wow, I really have to eat my words on this one because this is actually.

Absolutely incredible. So that's on me. I'm sorry that I doubted you, Texas. I apologize. It won't happen again. I also had some of the best food in Texas in general. Like so far I've been to Washington. I've been, um, you know, to New Jersey and Philly. And granted, I haven't gotten to like. Eat [00:03:00] out at like nicer ish places in those locations.

But in Houston we had some sushi that was insanely good. And then in Dallas we had the Mexican food that was insanely good. So I apologize, I take it back. Tex-Mex is actually incredible. Um, and I know that for some of you guys you're like, obviously it's incredible, but. I, I didn't believe you. I'm gonna be honest.

I thought you guys were lying and you'd never had real good Mexican food. So, um, not that I'm like the arbiter of good Mexican food, but I am a passionate lover of Mexican food and so I was ready to not be impressed and I take everything back. Also. Can we talk about the fact that, why are there two airports in every city in Texas?

Like the, okay, so we fly into Houston. For our shows, which thank God we flew in when we did because now with the government shut down and TSA and everything, there's like four hour lines insane. Um, we flew into Houston, I land, I text [00:04:00] Gasper and Phil, I'm like, Hey guys, like I'm landing, I'm getting um, my rental car.

And then we realized that there are two airports. Houston that you, two big airports that you could fly into in Houston at least. And then we realized that, oh, they flew, both Phil and Casper flew in to the other Houston airport and I was like, oh, well that sucks, but whatever. We're all, we're all gonna Uber to the same place.

Fine. Right? And then I'm like, we're, we're on. This is so typically me, we're on the little trolley that takes my husband and I to get our rental car. And as I'm standing there, I was telling my husband, I was like, how embarrassing is it that some people show up to rental car places without a reservation?

Like to me, like how do you not plan out that you need a rental car? That's so embarrassing. I can't even believe they would have vehicles. So we show up, I'm standing in line, we show them, I'm like, Hey, we've rented a car and they're looking and they can't find my reservation because my rental car [00:05:00] was reserved for the other Houston airport.

And I was like, after I was talking so much smack, I don't have a reservation for this location. And we are 45 minutes away from the other airport in Houston traffic, which by the way, Houston. Get it together, girl, you are a mess. And so I'm like, okay, okay, well, and thank you Enterprise because they helped us out and they got us switched and everything like that, but oh my gosh, what a mess.

And then same basic thing happened flying out of Dallas. Both the guys were flying out of a different airport than we were, and we ended up having to return a car to the correct place, by the way. Um, but yeah, traveling. If, if you are traveling to Texas, make sure you guys check. All of that, because we were, um, there were several times that we had issues with that.

Uh, and there was also a big storm coming through when we were in town. And so, um, I very specifically rented a Jeep, um, and we ended up having to drive through some fairly high water. It wasn't like [00:06:00] dangerous, dangerous, it was like in an underpass, but that, like, if you were in a Prius. You were gonna float away.

Like there's no way. There was like probably seven-ish inches of like just standing water underneath. And my husband guys, the way he gunned it through that standing water, and I lost several years of my life. I'm in the vehicle with my husband who's like. Was a Marine, drove very large armored vehicles in war and the, and gasper and fell behind me and they all, I swear, just fell in love with Jeeps.

It was like a Jeep commercial. They were like, oh my gosh. 'cause there were a bunch of cars having to turn around because of the standing water and we just barreled through. It was an experience. Um, I don't advise driving through standing water, uh, but it did make my husband. Very, very happy. And I think now it, they all are very interested in getting Jeeps because we were able to drive through that water.

Um, school-wise, I am [00:07:00] still visiting all of these schools and all of my students are still in the middle school and high school classrooms and stuff. It's going super well. It, but it just cracked me up. 'cause my daughter is in first grade right now. She came home the other day and she's like, mom. School is taking so much time.

And I was like, it does, doesn't it? She's like, yeah, like all day. It takes me all day to do school and I like the work, but I'm so busy that I don't even have time to think about unicorns. And to me that's such a quintessential like good summary of the challenge of being a kid in school, of like, it's hard work.

You don't even have time to think about unicorns. And that's how I feel about having to grade papers is I'm like. I know it needs to get done. I know it's important work, um, but I don't even have time to like, think about unicorns. It's a real challenge or anything else that I feel like thinking about. So, you know, if you're out there and you're trying to get work done and all you wanna be doing is thinking about unicorns, I'm right there with you.

Um, but I wanna hear [00:08:00] what has been going on in all of your classrooms. So let's go ahead and listen to the first voice memo sent in this week 

Voicemail: over 20 years ago. I was a new teacher teaching in a co-teaching in the kindergarten classroom, and we still had our little house corner and the dolls in the kitchen and all that stuff.

And we had a little girl, um, we'll call her Christina, and she was in the house corner and she had all of her dolls, um, like kind of laying on the floor, like there was maybe like five baby dolls around on the floor. And then she was holding one and carrying it around and taking such good care of it. And I asked her, I said, Christina, what are, you know, what are you doing?

And she said, oh, this is my baby. And I looked around and I kind of looked at all the dolls around her and I said, so what about all these other babies? And she said, those pointing at them, uh, the babies my husband had with other women [00:09:00] checks out. That's probably why they were just laying around on the floor not being cared for.

Oh my 

Andrea: gosh. The levels of baby mama drama that that gives you. Like, you know, you just know that that some, something like that was happening and like it makes me really sad 'cause hopefully they're not seeing kids get less attention from a mother figure and all of that. But oof man, kids come out with some of the wildest stuff my.

Kids we were watching, it is a little early when I'm recording this. Uh, it's, you know, still not after Thanksgiving, but my kids really wanted to watch Home Loan two, and so we, we let them and we're sitting there watching it and there's that scene with the Tommy Gun, right where he plays, he plays the video of the Tommy Gun and the bad guys run away.

And my kids are sitting there and they're like, oh mom. Why, why do people think there's guns in houses? And I was like, well baby, there are guns in houses. [00:10:00] There's, you know, your father is a former Marine. We have a gun in our house. You never see it 'cause it's, you know, locked away safely. And we do all the secure things and all of that.

And she's like, well, why do we have a gun? I was like, well, if someone comes in here and tries to hurt you, I will shoot them. And my kids looked at me and they're like, really? And I was like, yes. I, I would do crimes for you so quickly to keep you safe, baby. But that would be, you know, not a crime if someone came in and tried to hurt us and, uh, my kids kind of absorbed that right for a second.

Uh, and then my son went, or my daughter went. But mom, if that happened, what would we do with the body? And I was like, wait, hold, hold up to pump the brakes. And my son said, well, we should cut 'em up with scissors and flush 'em do down the toilet. And I was like, whoa, wait guys. That's not like we would call my daughter's like, no, we could just bury them in the backyard, but sneakily.

And I was like, Hey guys, like this went so. [00:11:00] Like, I'm trying to let them know they're like safe and secure in this house. No bad guys, like the bad guys in that movie would ever be able to get to them. And they're like, how are we going to dispose of the body after we have used lethal force to protect our family?

And I'm like, oh. Oh. Um, you know, and so I do wonder sometimes what their precious teachers are hearing at school. Like, are the teachers sitting there like, what did you talk about at home last night? And they're like, well, mommy told us that if we, if somebody came to our house, we'd chop them up and we'd flush 'em down the toilet and that we would be safe.

And I'm like, oh wait. Hold on a second here. Um, you know, kids just, they take little bits and pieces and their brains do what they want with them. So, um, on that note, let's go ahead and listen to the second voice memo sent in this week. 

Voicemail: Hey, so I teach Avid and I teach it for seventh grade and eighth grade.

So my eighth graders get to continue [00:12:00] with me. I get to loop with them. So the eighth grade class, they're all very comfortable with each other, and we were doing a college career research activity, and we took like a career quiz and one girl blurts out. I got funeral director. It's like, well, you're very social, you know?

Well, then the boy decides to blurt out. I got midwife. I lost it. I am on the floor crying. Half the class knows why. Half the class has no clue what a midwife is. And they're like, what? What? Why is it funny? What happened? And I'm like, well, a midwife is someone who delivers children in typically in someone's house.

And they're like. Oh, and they all start laughing. And then one of the other boys was like, I got it too. So two boys got the career midwife. He did turn it around and he decided to research, uh, E-M-S-E-M-T and like lifeguards. So like, you know, the caring, nurturing field, but you [00:13:00] know, maybe just not seeing vaginas and delivering babies.

Andrea: So, you know what's so funny is that like my, my husband, he's a physician assistant, and so he has done rotation. So the, the big thing with training PAs is they have to do rotations in different specialties. And one of the specialties he had to do was OB GYN, and he was not super excited about doing OB GYN stuff.

He just wasn't, he was like, I, I don't know. Like, usually you know, it, it's. It's not like, 'cause I feel like there's this, this thought, at least from a woman's perspective, that it's like, yeah, I bet you're gonna like that. Like, you know that friends episode where Rachel, I think it was dates, an O-B-G-Y-N and she's like trying to be romantic with him and he's like, listen, I, it's like this, like it, you know how you're uh, you know, you serve coffee all day.

Do you ever come home? And if you're like, if I see one more cup of coffee. Like, I feel like we [00:14:00] have this image in our brains that like, men, especially like hetero men who work in ob, GYN, like are just, you know, like they're super into it. They're seeing just they're having the best time in the best days.

Um, and my husband's like, everyone is, everyone is sick. You don't view it like that because it's a clinical setting. Like, it's just like, it's not that. So he was not excited. About doing any of that stuff. However, my husband has had the opportunity because of all of his trainings, to be in the room for several deliveries that weren't mine.

So there was one woman, he said it was like her third or fourth baby, and it was a vaginal delivery. And so her legs are up in stirs and she's got a great working epidural, so she's happy as a clam.

I'm gonna let that one sit. Um, and so she is sitting there and she's talking to my husband, who at this point is just observing. Okay. So it's early on in his program. He's just there to watch. And so he's standing there and [00:15:00] the dad is over there and she apparently she wanted to see because apparently the head was coming out and, um, she really wanted to get a picture of it.

And so she's like, looked over at my husband, who apparently was looking very pale at this point, and she's like, here. You need something to do, take a picture. And so my husband is like, uh, at this point, I don't even think I had had kids yet. And so my husband's like, I, you want me to take a picture of your vagina?

And she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, just get in there. And so he stands back, like, as far, because what do you do? You don't wanna get too close, right? Like, you don't wanna be like, oh yeah. Like, so my husband is standing like, like probably two feet back from where her feet are. Over the shoulder of the physician and like clicks a quick picture and hands it to her and she looks, she's like, I can barely see anything really get in there.

So my husband has to like shoulder around the doctor who's like guiding this child out and is like [00:16:00] clicking a bunch of pictures like, oh God. Oh fake. Oh, oh God. He's like, no. And that, like, that was one of my favorite things that he told me when he came home from doing that because he was like, uh, they gave me a job because I looked like I was about to faint.

Um, and which is so funny to me that. He like was getting so lightheaded because he does gross like surgeries. He has cut people open, he has done suturing. He has like been in like it, the things this man can do without getting faint and without having any issues. And then a woman giving birth, at least at that point was like, oh no thank you.

But I recently like was also, I saw this bit from a comedian, I can't remember who it was. But it was so funny because she was like, I think it's such BS that men get like icky, like icked out by. Like periods and stuff, you'll sit [00:17:00] there and watch a horror movie. You'll sit there and watch like a murder mystery, a murder documentary, a slasher flick where there's blood everywhere, like all of this stuff.

And I was telling my husband about this bit because it's like, like how unfair it is that they're like so grossed out by period blood or periods or tampons or pads or any of that kind of stuff. But like. Like, let me watch this slasher flick real quick, right? And I was telling my husband about this bit, and it occurred to me in that moment.

This man has cut people open and sewed them up, and he still is like, ew, when it comes to period stuff. And so I was telling him about this bit and I was like, actually, and I like turned on him and he's like, whoa. Like, I was like, it's insane that you have done what you've done and you're still like, uh, yeah, but like, uh, uh, like the dichotomy of.

And I, I think honestly, genuinely, this is what I think is that there is like a biological thing [00:18:00] that happens in like a lot of men where it's like, period blood, therefore. Not pregnant, not fertile. And so it's like an instinctual, biological thing that I think happens. But either way, and he's, he is not, he does not freak out about it or anything like that, but it's like not some, like he would not choose to go in to OB GYN or midwifery.

Or anything like that. Um, he would, I could see him doing pediatric stuff because he's really, really, really good with kids. Um, but it just, it cracks me up because, and here's the thing, is like, we need good midwives. We need, and mid midwife, I think mid midwifery now, like you can get it in your normal hospitals and stuff as well.

It's not just if you're delivering at home. Um. And I do wanna shout out, um, the doctors and nurses that, um, just helped bring my new nephew into the world. Those of you guys who've been following me [00:19:00] for a long time know that my sister is a content creator as well. Now, um, she has a page called Host In Your Home.

She has two little girls and she just had her third child, which is. A little boy and he came into the world at 37 weeks and there was some oxygen deprivation stuff that happened. It was very, very scary. Um, my sister had a cold, so she, like, they kinda had an emergency C-section and then they immediately rushed him to a specialty hospital where he had to get a bunch of different things done.

Um, and the doctors and nurses there that took care of him did such an incredible job. My nephew was fine. Um, all the tests came back really positive and all of that. Um. And I'm just really grateful that people out there are doing the O-B-G-Y-N job and doing the, you know, neonatal stuff and all of that, because huge shout out to, um, the doctors at the, I gotta figure out what hospital it was in Orange County.

I just know it was in Orange County. 'cause my sister [00:20:00] lives in Dana Point. But, um, yes, thank you for saving my sister and her little boy because I, they, they literally said like, had she not gone in. She did. And had she not decided to get the C-section, pretty much as soon as they said, Hey, oxygen levels are low, it's scary.

She probably would've lost him. So huge thank you to all of those incredible people. Um, and a complete left turn from what I was just talking about. I have some really cool resources I wanna talk to you about. So we are gonna take a look at those right after this quick break. Have you ever wondered what I would say if my mother and my administrators weren't watching every single thing I do on social media?

Well, that's exactly what my standup show is, and I'm gonna be coming to a town near you super soon. You can get tickets@educatorandrea.com slash tickets.

All right. Welcome back, teacher Es. So the resource I wanted to talk to [00:21:00] you about is a writing resource. And the reason I, and I'm trying to focus on finding a few more of those just because there is kind of a national push towards literacy, making sure our kids can read and finding resources that make it an easy lift for parents and for teachers.

So. I found this website called Create to learn.ca, and there is a gentleman named Jake Cardinal and he has a four-part series on creative writing and there's four videos and basically it is a bunch of prompts that help you walk your way through. Doing a creative writing activity and it's that kind of stuff.

Like if we can somehow associate writing or reading with like joy and relaxation instead of stress and work, I feel like that's really the key to get us to where we need to be with writing projects and with getting our kids to be literate. Um, and I'm dealing with this as well with my own kids. You know, I think I [00:22:00] always thought.

Naturally, because I love to read because I read to my kids every day that we would never have any challenges when it came to. Getting our kids to love reading, but kids are different. Like they just come out of the box, however they come out and you're gonna have to try and figure it out. And so, um, with one of my kids in particular, they really, really struggle with reading.

And so I'm always looking for different things and I've got a couple of things that I'm doing. Personally that I'm gonna talk about, but only, I'm only gonna share 'em with you guys if they actually are good. Um, 'cause I don't wanna point you towards resources that aren't, you know, gonna be worth your time.

And the, the resource I'm looking at, it does cost money. So, um, but this one does not. The creative writing, um, with Jake Cardinal, is that a different name than I just told you? No, Jake Cardinal, um, has a bunch of different videos and talks people through how to do some creative writing prompts, stuff like that.

There are a couple other websites too, if you look up online, um, like [00:23:00] writing project or anything like that, that can get kids writing a little bit each day. I feel like it's, it's a muscle like anything else where. If we are able to get our kids to practice this skill, we're gonna be able to empower them to feel like they know how to communicate on a better level.

Especially with all of the AI stuff, I feel like it's really important that we embed this practice in our classrooms in a way that has like low pressure so they don't feel like, oh my gosh, if I don't get this perfect, I'm gonna fail, but is so regular that they don't even realize that they're improving from.

Day-to-day, because the more that they write, the, the better they're gonna be, the stronger writers, um, that they're gonna be. So that is the resource for this week. So again, that's create to learn ca. Um, and then I have a hill that I'm gonna die on. And this is a really interesting one for me because honestly I have swapped back and forth on this, um.

I think the hill that I'm gonna die on [00:24:00] is that we need to push kids more to be uncomfortable. And what I mean by that is that for a very long time, teachers are very afraid to push kids outta their comfort zones when it comes to doing public speaking, when it comes to working with others, when it comes to doing social activities.

And we, and our kids need for us to make them uncomfortable in like. Like to push past that. Right. It's kind of like exposure therapy, right? Like and I feel like what we inadvertently have done is that because we are so afraid of our kids being uncomfortable because we know what it's like to be uncomfortable.

We know what it's like to be embarrassed. We have to help our kids get past that. I have had students who have social anxiety and stuff like that, and I think that it's really wise to approach this in a really sensitive way to figure out ways to scaffold this so we're not just immediately plopping them in front of.

A room of people. However, I do think that we are doing a disservice to these kids that [00:25:00] every single kid that says, Hey, it makes me nervous to speak in front of somebody, to tell them that they never have to figure out how to communicate in group settings. There are times in our lives that we will be interviewed by groups that we will have to communicate in situations that make us uncomfortable, and if we don't figure out how to do that.

Then we are setting these kids back massively. Not being able to communicate in situations that make us a little bit uncomfortable is not going to serve any of us. So. That is the hill I'm gonna die on. Um, and I know I probably have some people that are gonna be like, but what about, but what about, and yes, there are some, but what abouts, right?

Um, I'm not saying that we, we have kids with major trauma who are gonna have a panic attack immediately jump up. Um, but I do think that we have largely removed the opportunity for public speaking from our classrooms. And I think that that is. Not serving our kids in the long run. If you have thoughts about what we've talked about today, um, or you wanna, you know, tell the local police [00:26:00] to check my plumbing, um, you can contact us, andrea@humancontent.com, or you can contact the whole Human Content Podcast family at Human Content pods.

Um, huge thank you and shout out to those of you guys who have left reviews If you have not yet done so, please do. And if you wanna catch the full video episodes, they're up every week on YouTube at Educator. Andrea, thank you so much for listening. I'm your host, Andrea Ham. Our executive producers are Andrea Ham, Aaron Corny, Rob Goldman, and Shanti Brooke.

Our editor is Andrew Sims. Our engineer is Jason Portizo. Our music is by Omer Ben-Zvi. Our recording location is Indiana State by College of Education. To learn more about how to survive the classrooms program, disclaimer and ethics, policy and submission verification and licensing terms, you can go to podcast or andrea.com.

How to survive the classroom is a human content production.

Thank you so much for watching. Want more of how to Survive the classroom? [00:27:00] You can watch more episodes right now. Just click on that little box over there, you see it, and if you haven't yet, please subscribe. Okay, bye.