Please Put Your Shirt Back On

Andrea: [00:00:00] I'm gonna apologize that, um, at some point in time, unfortunately, I fear that. My son may be that child for someone.

Theme: The classroom. 

Andrea: Hey, teacher besties. I am so excited to share with you that my book, they never taught us, that is available for pre-order right now. It. Everything in experience first year teachers need to manage the chaos of the modern classroom, including some anecdotes to make you feel a little bit better because if there is a way you can screw up, I have probably done it.

It also has advice on how to build trust with families, how to manage grading and lesson plans and IEPs and everything in between that they never went over in your teacher prep program. They never taught us. That is available everywhere right now for pre-order.

Hey, teacher besties. Welcome to How to Survive the Classroom. I don't know if it's anybody else, [00:01:00] but I, there was never a time that I decorated my classroom for the holidays. I'm legitimately trying to think of any of the, the years and years I had my own classroom that I spent the time and energy. I might've like put up a, like a, like a Christmas tree.

Like figurine or something. But really I just, I didn't have the energy. I know elementary teachers are a whole different level, um, and you wanna like celebrate all the different cultures in your classroom and stuff. Uh, but I never did and so I always would try, especially now that I have kids, like try and do some of the decoration stuff at the house.

And so as part of that, we have been working with our kids to help, like, prepare, 'cause we're gonna host some holiday meals this year. Guys, I have to tell you. So I talk a lot about my son because he comes out with some, some out-of-pocket stuff, right? Just very, very wild behavior. Um, and my daughter is so very intentional with the things that she does.

So when [00:02:00] I told her we were gonna be hosting one of the holiday meals, she came to me and she was like, mom, um, have you made a list yet? And I'm like, girl, not yet. We've got a little while. And she's like, no, we need a list. So she has created a full list of every single meal that we're gonna do, every single item that needs to be brought to this event.

Like she's so list oriented. Um, and she also is very intense about making sure that everything she does is like. The best of quality. I, I tried to tell her teacher, I'm like, please know, this is not us putting this pressure on her. We think it's great that she tries her best, like that's all we want from her.

And she told me I could do anything if I work hard enough, long enough. And I'm like, that's right, baby girl. She said, not always though. And I was like, you know what? That is actually such a healthy perspective on life and the world. And I love that for us. Um, and it, it is so funny because we unintentionally.

Build these mentalities into our kids. Um, and the other day we [00:03:00] had a family guest that came over to our house and I've been really trying, guys, parents especially, I have been trying so hard to, number one, do meals at the dinner table. Number two, build chores in. To our regular routine, which I never realized that that would take an effort from the parents, but it really does.

Like you have to be intentional because a lot of times you're just like, well, it's gonna be quicker if I do it and it's gonna get done better. Um, but you know, there's that whole parenting thing they need to be taught. So the other day we had a family member come over and stay. This family member is someone who has had a very long history of a, I'm trying to think of how, how to contextualize this.

So, for a while she, she was like the singer on a riverboat, which sounds like she was in some old timey movie, but it's actually real, um, for a, for a period of time. Like she lived on a [00:04:00] riverboat. Sang and she also would sing in a choir with her sisters and all that. So like song, and now she's like a music teacher.

She does piano, she does all of that stuff, right? So she is very musically inclined. I am completely tone deaf. Um. But we were sitting there and my kids do this prayer before we eat. It's God our father, God our father. And it's like, it's not, it's not meant to be sung. It's more of like a, you know, just kind of like a nursery rhyme type song.

Um, and as we were sitting there, the kids started singing it and this family member broke in to operatic singing in a way I, that was so. Completely baffling. I've never had it happen where everyone is like on the same page about how something should be performed. Like we're all there, God, our father, God, our father once again, and then all of a sudden I corner [00:05:00] like so committed to just, she was doing.

All sorts of, like, she was trying to har she had like a finger to like the side of her ear to really make sure she was like matching pitch. I don't know who she was matching pitch with. I, I'm not positive, but I have never quite seen somebody perform in that manner, out of context. And it reminds me so much.

I was talking to my husband Steven about this, that like the context matters so much for the arts. Like you have to set the scene for singing. Otherwise, it's just like, it's confusing, right? In the same way that we deal with that, with comedy, where like, yes, jokes can be kind of seen and enjoyed in a lot of different contexts, but setting the scene for comedy is so important, which is why when people come up to you as a comedian, they find out you're a comedian and they're like, oh, tell me a joke.

And you're like, [00:06:00] um. No, no, I don't do do. Right. Because the context matters. In the way that Steven put it was that he is like, listen, like if you went to a strip club and you saw ladies taking off their clothes, you would be like, well, this is a strip club. Of course they're taking off their clothes. There would be people that would enjoy it, all of that kind of stuff.

But if that is in the wrong, if you're at the grocery store and you're seeing that, you would be like, this is, this is a crime. This is, this is a crime, right? And so he's like, it's the same thing with comedy. I'm like, I'm not sure that we should be drawing the line that closely between me doing standup and stripping, but as long as we're all on the same page, that like the context matters and the setup matters when you're doing jokes.

I've shared before on here the. Discomfort I experienced when I've done jokes and standup in setups that are just like not made for comedy. No fault to the [00:07:00] people who booked me. No fault to any of that, but like that stuff matters so much more than I realized. And I've listened to so many other comedians talk about this where they're like, yeah, I went to like this weird event and it was like daytime and outside and everyone was waiting for dinner and then they were like, go do a tight 10 up there.

Ah, like maybe I shouldn't, you know, especially if it's surprise comedy never surprise people with comedy. You have to like prep them ideally before the event, like there's gonna be jokes. Be ready for jokes because if you just throw someone up there and you try and make a joke and they don't realize it's supposed to be comedy, it gets really, really uncomfortable for a lot of people.

So yeah, that was, that was the thing that happened just this last week that had me cracking up and my husband and I both like, from that point on, anytime our kids sing, God, our father, my, my husband will start to be like, like [00:08:00] going straight in to like the, um, oh, what is her name? The, the singer that like announces Christmas for us.

Mariah Carey. Yeah. My husband goes into like this, this level that like, he's like channeling Mariah Carey now every single time. And it is absolutely outrageous. So, um, highly recommend doing that if you really wanna mix things up and, um, make everyone else fairly uncomfortable. Um, speaking of uncomfortable things, I cannot wait to hear the stories that you guys sent in this week.

So let's go ahead and listen to the first voice memo sent in. 

Voicemail: My name is Rebecca Lulu, and I taught English in Japan for four years. My last year I was asked to participate in a beauty contest at a local festival, and I knew that I wasn't asked for my beauty, but because I was the token foreign girl who would make it a little more interesting, and that was fine with me because it was a good friend who was organizing it, and I thought it would be an interesting experience.

I get there and it's a much bigger deal than I expected. Um, we're [00:09:00] talking professional models, makeup teams, a stage and interviews in Japanese. So my stress is shooting through the roof and I said, I don't think I can do this, and remember Japanese on the spot under all this pressure. So they agreed to let me practice with my interviewer and we rehearse the questions multiple times, always in the same order, always the same questions, so I could feel confident on stage.

So I get up there, it's like spotlights in my face, see if face is in front of me, and I'm responding to the questions without really listening to the interviewer at all, because I thought I knew what he was asking only to get off stage and have my friend tell me that he completely changed the questions and that among other things, he had asked instead of, what is your favorite Japanese festival food?

He said, what is your life's passion? To which I responded, Yaki Toti, or Chicken on a Stick. Uh, the best part is that my students, many of my [00:10:00] students were at that festival and witnessed my shame, and from then on called me Yaki Toti Sensei or Chicken Stick Teacher.

Andrea: That is so incredible. The levels. Of that. I, I adore that, that is so funny and so incredibly relatable for like, what it's like if you are living in a country where you are not familiar with the language. So I, I think I've talked about before in here that I lived in Germany for a year after I graduated from high school, but I spoke no German.

Um, when I got there I was like, I'm just gonna vibe, right? This was 2006, so long time ago. Um, I had just graduated from high school and when I was there, the family I lived with, it was family, friends. My mom knew the parents and all of that, and they moved me into their basement and I was gonna help at the Sky's law office, but my German was not progressing, um, at all.

And so they're like, okay, [00:11:00] well let's, let's sign you up for German as a second language classes at like the local community center. It's like, great, let's do that. So I get there. Of course I'm surrounded then by other people who speak no German. Most of them though, do speak English. And so rather than learning German, I then just made a bunch of friends who also spoke English and could hang out with me.

Um, and one of those friends was a Canadian au pair, and I spent a lot of time with this Canadian au pair. She actually ended up being in my wedding a few years later, like so fun. But one night her sister had come to visit. We walked in, it was a carnival parade, which is kind of like Mardi Gras over there.

We walked in the parade, we had a great time. Her sister was with us. I didn't drink when I was over there. Um, but both of them did and her sister drank a lot and it was snowing outside. And at the end of the night we realized that we can't find the sister. And so we are like looking all around. We're calling and remember like we don't really [00:12:00] have real cell phones at that point.

We have like the prepaid. Cricket, wireless kind of phones. And so we're calling everywhere. We finally like call a hospital and we find out that she like had passed out in a snow drift and had been taken to a hospital for alcohol poisoning, right? And so I'm like, it, this is, as the sober party feels like that's on me.

Um, I was in my defense, very stupid and very young. Um, and thank God she was okay. But we went there. Um, and we're, we're talking to the, the doctors, all of that. It's like three in the morning and they're like, we're gonna, she needs to be hydrated. You can come back in about four hours. So I go back to the house and as I'm parking.

I back the, the family vehicle that this, the Germans that I lived with let me use, I back it up into the neighbor's car and there's a huge dent. Our car is fine, huge dent in their car, and I look over and they have [00:13:00] row houses there. And so as I am looking at the car, I have no idea which house it goes to.

None whatsoever. And it's sleeting. So I couldn't even leave a note because I'm like, well, okay, if I leave a note, it's just gonna like melt. So. Tomorrow morning, we'll deal with it, right? Because at this point, it's like three, four in the morning. We go inside, we go to sleep, wake up before the family wakes up and go to the hospital to go get her sister.

I come back and the family's like, Hey, you didn't hit the neighbor's car, did you? And I was like, oh, I kind of did. And they were like, oh, we have to go to the police station. I was like, wait, why? And they're like, because they're reporting it to the police. It was a hit and run. And I'm like. Oh no. And so I get to the police station, and this is where the language thing really comes full circle.

I get to the police station again, my German is very limited, right? And especially if you're upset and you're trying to speak another language, 10 times harder. So I'm sitting there and the German police officers are there and they're looking at [00:14:00] me and they're trying to say, okay, so what time did it happen?

And I was like, I don't know, like at like 4:00 AM they're like, okay. So just, so while you're thinking about that, and I'm like, I just answered you, they're like, while you're thinking about that, um, we need you to know that if a, an accident is reported more than two hours after the incident, it's automatically a felony hit and run.

This was reported at 9:00 AM Okay. What time did it happen? And I was like, 4:00 AM.

No. And the family I'm live, living, living with are leaving like, Andrea, no, no, nine. And I was like, no, that's the time it was. They're like, no, no, no. Stupid American girl. It was, if it hap, if it was reported at nine and it can't be longer than two hours. What time? And I'm like, crying. 'cause I was like, it was at four.

And they're like, we're gonna put, she doesn't remember. Because [00:15:00] they were like, you're so dumb. Like we're trying to help you here. And like the neighbors whose car I hit were so sweet and all of that, but, and the Germans after that, and they were like, so, you know, it was Carnival last night. You were drinking a little.

And I was like, no I wasn't. They're like, yeah, it is okay. Like we all do. And I was like, no, I wasn't driving drunk. I'm a terrible driver. Sober. I don't need to drive drunk to damage vehicles. And they were just like, oh, okay. Well, you know, you'll get a paper later that documents. And I did, like a year later I got something that said like, charges dropped.

And I was like, there were charges. It was like sent to my, um, to my parents' house in California much, much later. So now I'm a little nervous about next time I go to Germany, hopefully there's no pending charges. I think. I think we're good though. Although I did throw that paper away. So, um, let's listen to the second voice memo sent in today.

Theme: Okay. One time I had a kid who was in class. He was our wild runner, always [00:16:00] on the loose, always doing something, but today he came into class and he sat down and he was kind of doing his work. And then I was like, he has his shoes off. Weird, but okay, he's doing work. So yes. Doing work. Yes. Yes. And um, I go back to do attendance 'cause I always forget to do that.

So I'm doing attendance and I hear giggling and I look up, I'm like, what's going on? And like looking around, why are we giggling? What's going on? So then I look over the top of my computer screen. This kid has his shirt off and is rubbing lotion on his nipples, his nipples. I, I was shook and I didn't know what to do, so I just said, why are your clothes off?

Put them back on and please stop doing that. It's very uncomfortable for all of us. He said, my [00:17:00] nips were chapped and I needed to moisturize them. I said, that's unfortunate. Please put them away, and I was very uncomfortable for the rest of the day. 

Andrea: I'm gonna apologize that, um, at some point in time, unfortunately, I fear that my son may be that child for someone.

He's not a runner. Like he likes class, he likes being in class. Um, so I don't ever foresee him like running from class, but taking off his shirt to moisturize his nipples does sound, especially those of you guys who have seen my standup set. You'll know, um, it's within the realm of possibilities that that would occur.

Um, it kids are such unhinged little weirdos, and that is, that is the joy of what we do as educators is like we get to be the first audience to some of the absolute weirdness of these children. Um, and it's so funny because that is like. [00:18:00] You didn't mention, I don't think the grade that you, that you teach.

Um, but it is this weird dichotomy of like, we have to teach them what crimes are fairly frequently because they commit them in our class. Um, we have to tell my son that all the time where he'll just like drop trow and like, you, you guys remember that Ace Ventura thing where like he talks with his butt, like my son has done that to me.

Like really weird situ. Like I will be like, do you want pasta for dinner? And he'll like, turn, turn around and just like talk with his butt cheeks. And I'm like, it's not, it's not necessary to answer in that manner, um, that you would like the pasta. That's unnecessary behavior. Right. Um, and I just, I, I think it is.

That's one of the best parts of, of doing my standup and doing videos online and stuff, is that I am kind [00:19:00] of capturing for posterity some of the more insane things that my children have said and done. Um. Hopefully in a way that they will enjoy and not be mortified by, because that is also one of the things that I try not to not do, is that like I never want my kids to be like embarrassed or ashamed.

Um, and knowing my son, he'll be delighted that people know because he will look at you dead in the eyes and be like, why did you do this thing? And he'll be like, well, it was funny. And we're like, okay, but you know, you can't do that. That's rude, or it's inappropriate or it's disrespectful. And he is like, yeah, but it was funny.

It got a laugh like. Are you stupid? Like, which is why teachers are the best because we do get to be those people, but we also have to teach them what, which ones are crimes. So, um, alright guys, I've got a very cool resource to share with you guys. So we are gonna take a very quick break and we'll be right back.

Have you ever wondered what I would say if my mother and my [00:20:00] administrators weren't watching every single thing I do on social media? Well, that's exactly what my standup show is, and I'm gonna be coming to a town near you super soon. You can get tickets@educatorandrea.com slash tickets. Welcome back, teacher Besties.

So the resource I'm gonna point you towards is called Sold a Story. It is a podcast that is about the literacy crisis in the US and I think that I've maybe talked about it peripherally or I mentioned that I had been listening to it and really enjoying it, but it's really kind of developed into kind of a movement.

I think it originally came out a few years back and. It had a huge impact and I always think it's so cool when series like that can have this kind of ripple effect on the educational community. Um, and it's affecting even my job now because now the science of reading is something that I have to teach my students as well.

Um, but the soul, the story, it explores not only how literacy is taught currently in [00:21:00] different areas, but how literacy has been taught in different areas and the difference. Communities that it's impacted when they go from like a queuing system into a more phonics based system. And, um, there are a couple of stories and a couple of interviews with teachers who used a queuing system or were reading specialist and we're taught to use a system that now we are seeing is maybe not as effective.

And they're reflecting on this and they're talking about. How it is impacting their teaching practice to realize that maybe they did some of the things wrong and some of these things were going to be, you know, detrimental to the kids that they were trying to help and all of that. So it is fascinating.

Um, I don't know how many states right now are pushing stuff like Indiana is, but right now Indiana is trying to push that basically everyone. No matter what you teach has to know about the science of reading and include those strategies in your class. Even if you teach math or science or gym or [00:22:00] music, like you're supposed to have certain things that you do.

So, um, it is helpful regardless of what you teach, to listen to it. And I've heard from a lot of people who really believe in the queuing strategy and really disagree with that podcast. So if that is you, I do wanna hear about it because, um. I've done very minimal research on it, just a little bit here and there, but I do find it fascinating because phonics and reading instruction and all of that, um, I like, I've seen what happens when it's not done correctly and I've seen the impact of kids who stru still struggle with literacy like.

Far into their high school careers. Um, so I do think it's really interesting and if you have like counterpoints or anything like that, I would absolutely love to hear about them. Um, 'cause it does feel like the conversation is more one-sided right now, um, in favor of the science of reading and all of that stuff.

Um, if you have a resource that you are obsessed right now and you think the whole world needs to know about it, please let me know. Um, you can contact me, Andrea, at. Human [00:23:00] content.com, or you can contact me at Educator Andrea on Instagram and TikTok, or you can contact the whole Human Content Podcast family at Human Content pods.

And thank you so much. To the listeners who have left those wonderful feedbacks and reviews, please do go and give us a five star review if you have not yet done so. Um, and if you wanna see the full video episodes, they're up every single week on YouTube at Educator Andrea. Thank you so much for listening.

I'm your host, Andrea Ham. Our executive producers are Andrea Ham, Aaron Corny, Rob Goldman, and Shahnti Brooke. Our editor is Andrew Sims. Our engineer is Jason Portizo. Our music is by Omer Ben-Zvi. Our recording locations is Indiana State by College of Education. To learn more about our how to survive the Classrooms program, disclaimer and ethics policy and submission verification and licensing terms, you can go to podcast or andrea.com.

How to Survive the Classroom is a human content production. 

Theme: How?[00:24:00] 

Andrea: Thank you so much for watching. Want more of how to Survive the classroom? You can watch more episodes right now. Just click on that little box over there. You see it, and if you haven't yet, please subscribe. Okay, bye.