The Names Kids Call You When You’re Not Listening

Voicemail: [00:00:00] So my, would you rather is, would you rather get a $500 bonus or get one day where you can say whatever you want to, any other staff members with no consequences? 

Andrea: I, I know immediately I, I wanna be able to say whatever I want. 

Gerry: I'm taking the money,

Theme: the classroom. 

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It also has advice on how to build trust with families, how to manage grading and lesson plans and IEPs and everything in between that they never went over in your teacher prep program. They never taught us. That is available everywhere right now [00:01:00] for pre-order.

Hey, teacher besties. Welcome to How to Survive the Classroom. I'm Andrea, 

Gerry: I'm Jerry. 

Andrea: There it is. We're gonna get there guys. It's, he is gonna, he is gonna come in a little quicker eventually. But we were just discussing how, um, there's like, there's a, a lag time in Jerry's. Uh, is it, would we say your rhythm or like your brain, or where would we say that the lag time is?

Gerry: I think they all work. 

Andrea: All of the above. 

Gerry: Yeah. Whatever needs to be some, some something. I got a couple screws loose. 

Andrea: Okay, perfect. Um, I think first up top guys, we need to talk about the fact that, uh, I found out about one of Jerry's like secret side quests that I was unaware of because, um, friend of the podcast, Gasper Ando, got dmd a photo of Jerry on like a sports court of some kind.

Doing what? I, it looked like you were coaching. [00:02:00] Are you a coach? 

Gerry: I am. I helped coach middle school basketball. 

Andrea: What? I did not know that. You ball? 

Gerry: Yeah, I ball. I'll, I'll be out here bawling. 

Andrea: Is it, is it a girls team or a boys team? 

Gerry: It's boys. It's middle school boys. 

Andrea: How they doing on their, on their season so far?

Gerry: We don't talk about that. 

Andrea: No. Well, you got, you gotta like rebranded. 

Gerry: They're getting better. They're getting better as the year goes. 

Andrea: There it is. Yeah, that's, uh, I always got awards when I was playing basketball. I was, um, varsity team captain and every year I got some kind of award, but I never got MVP 'cause I didn't ever have the natural skill or talent, but I tried the hardest every single time.

Um, and so the coaches would usually, they gave me something called the Eagle Award because I went to a Christian school and so they loved that verse about mounting up. On wings, like eagles. And so they would give you like a character award and like, you suck. And we gave you playing time because you were the the most willing [00:03:00] to to play.

But did you play basketball back in, in your, in your day, Jerry? 

Gerry: I played like rec basketball. I didn't, I didn't like sports until I was prob probably middle school and didn't even really think about playing until high school. So that point was like, okay, I'm kind of old to start. So I'm living vicariously through kids I coach.

Andrea: That's healthy. I think that's a great approach. Um, in all things just live vicariously through the students you work with. Um, is there any great tips that you would give for someone who's just now starting out coaching? What is like most important for people to do when they're coaching? 

Gerry: Stay quiet. You, you, unless you were a professional athlete or a very successful college athlete, you probably don't have a ton.

To offer right away. You're probably not starting as the head guy and there's just so much you're learning. There's so much I didn't understand. That's also come from someone who wasn't an athlete. [00:04:00] But even as a coach, there's a lot of things you don't understand. Not even just about the sport, but about the coaching aspect, how you deal with parents, things like that.

And it's better just to sit back and learn. We, we all know teachers who come in, uh, who are brand new. And they, I was one of them. You'd think you know everything or have it figured out and you don't. There's, you don't know. You don't know? 

Andrea: Yeah. Okay. I have a question. Would you rather deal with a really difficult, angry parent of an athlete that you're coaching or really difficult, angry parent of a student in your class?

Gerry: Athlete. 

Andrea: Really? Why? 

Gerry: I get it. I know where. Some of the frustration comes from, and the parent, they, they don't know everything that happens. Um, but they're also, when they are frustrated, it's not, it's never totally invalid. If the coach can understand why that parent [00:05:00] is upset, you can help guide through that.

Whereas, like, um, when it's in classroom, I don't know, it just stresses me out a little more. Like I feel like I'm more, I'm more capable of dealing with. Someone who's frustrated with coaching and with how a game's handled. 'cause you can kind of give a more broad answer like a, Hey, I understand you, um, we'll address it, we'll work on it.

Whereas if you're in the classroom they want, they don't want a, um, we'll work on it. They want, Hey, what's the solution here? And they want it right then. That true? 

Andrea: Yeah. A hundred percent. So I, when I played basketball, can you, can you guess what position I played when I played basketball? 

Gerry: Point guard. 

Andrea: I'm five six.

Everyone. I wish I was point guard. I always wanted to be that girl, you know? Um, but no, because again, I went to a very small private school, so there was like no one could ball. And so me being varsity team captain only meant that I was the most willing to be varsity team captain. Um, and I. Actually, [00:06:00] um, was known for fouling out.

I don't know if this surprises anyone, but I was pretty violent on the basketball court, and so I pretty, pretty consistently would foul out every single game. I did break a girl's nose once. I didn't punch her, but like her face was in the way of my elbow when I came down with the ball from a rebound. So I'm not sure that I would be a good fit in the same way that you are for coaching, because I feel like I, that's what I would wanna see from my players is like, if you're not drawing blood.

You don't care enough. Is is kind of my, my mentality when it comes to basketball. 

Gerry: You ain't never lied. 

Andrea: Like I, that was just always, always my vibe. I, if you get 

Gerry: hurt, but, but you gotta put somebody, you, uh, you're not gonna go out there and, and not bump into somebody, you know? Yeah. Like you have to be willing to do that.

Andrea: Hundred percent. Um, so I have to tell you, while you were coaching basketball, I went to Chicago this past weekend with my husband and we went and saw Phantom of the Opera, um, [00:07:00] and it was incredible. So, so good. Have you ever been to musical theater or like, uh, uh, anything like that? 

Gerry: When I was a kid, I saw The Lion King.

Andrea: Listen. Was it a Broadway play or was it like a kid's play? 

Gerry: Uh, I was a kid, so I mean, 

Andrea: you're like, it was great. 

Gerry: Yeah. I mean, I was there. I don't know, I was just like, I was like, yo, this, we just, we got this at home on the dvd. Why? Why is this dude dressed up? 

Andrea: Yeah. I've seen, I've actually seen Lion King, uh, in, in theater as well.

It's absolutely incredible. I, it, every time I go to any kind of play, I'm further amazed by the like. The, um, the drama teachers and those people, I, it could never be me doing all of those long hours. All of our drama teacher listeners, I have the most respect because they get paid usually. I don't know if, if in North Carolina it's the same, but in the schools that I went to, it was [00:08:00] like, you get like a thousand dollars stipend, but you're expected to be there until like 9:00 PM.

Every single day, like at least like the month before the show goes live. And then even before that, usually to like five or six. So it just, the amount of work that they're putting in is insane and all those drama kids are constantly trying to hook up with each other in the back room. And so there's also the added pressure of trying to prevent teenage pregnancy, which feels like a lot of responsibility.

Do you guys have like any kind of stipend or anything like that that you guys do? 

Gerry: We do a school, like a school play. 

Andrea: But do the teachers get paid? 

Gerry: I mean, I really don't know. I, that's what I'm trying to think through is like, I don't know. We, we've done one. We, I don't think we're doing one this year. We done one last couple years and there I think there was a stipend.

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: I don't know. It's like you said, it was so much work. I was like, I wanna stay away from this before they have me moving set designs. I wasn't trying to do all that. 

Andrea: It's [00:09:00] crazy. 

Gerry: It, it's, it's a ton. Like I can't. Like, I know, I don't, I don't think I could do it. 

Andrea: Well, and I feel like it also is, it's one of those things that's like a red, red flag task, and I, I don't know if there's.

Like, uh, different assignments, different volunteer duties that they have at the school that you work at. That feels like a red flag task. But to me that, and co coaching in your first three years, I think is crazy anyways, because you are so tired and you have so much you're doing. Um, but doing like yearbook or drama we're two of the, the clubs or like.

Additional duties that I was like, absolutely not. Um, and that reminded me of different, like red flags that I would see in other teachers that would kind of let me know that maybe like we weren't the right vibe for each other. Um, and I'll, I'll give you some and guys, I wanna be so clear about this that I, I recognize this is petty of me and I did this this weekend and my husband was like Andrea, [00:10:00] but there are certain.

Clothing choices that to me, make me go, mm, mm-hmm. I'm not, I can't, and it's not like niceness of clothes. Um, like a man who's wearing, um, like very snug European cut pants that like the, an like that show his ankles and like loafers. There was a man at our hotel dressed like that. I immediately hated him.

That wasn't fair. He didn't do anything. He just wanted to wear his little penny loafers and let his ankles breathe in Chicago. But I could not, it was immediate. And if there was a teacher who showed up like that, I, it would, I would have to overcome some serious, um, distaste just based off of those vibes.

Do you have anything like that, that when like you're looking at different teachers, you probably shouldn't choose any that describe someone you currently work with, but like anything that you're like, oh. Probably not for me. I have more, if you need a [00:11:00] second to think, 

Gerry: I think of like the, like the long ankle polka dot skirts.

Like y'all just doing too much. Like, and then they got like the, like oh one earrings, a pencil on the other one's, like a composition notebook. I'm like, man, y'all are like, you only, you don't wear what you write like that. Don't, like, if I see, I, I, it just don't make sense. They got the little sweater on and the.

T-shirt with, with pencils and that, you know, that little, that font. I only met you, you know, the font. 

Andrea: I, I believe the last time we recorded a podcast I was wearing a shirt with pencils on it. Are you just describing things that you've seen me wear before, Jerry? Is that what's happening here? 

Gerry: Yeah. No, I'm, no, I, I just like, you know, their world is perfect and mm-hmm.

Like, we're gonna change the world. Nah, 

Andrea: no. Yeah. I 

Gerry: know the world's crumbling. 

Andrea: The world is absolutely crumbling. I asked some people on [00:12:00] Instagram and it's very interesting because some of the things I wouldn't have thought about, but they maybe would kind of make me a bit of a red flag in their book. So one of them is being early, like showing up early to work.

I guess it, to me, it matters like how early are we talking? Like, are you showing up at 5:00 AM because that's too much? You're doing too much In that case, another one would be, uh, being. Hmm. Constantly trash talking students. And I didn't, I never genuinely was like, I hate that kid. That kid is the worst, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

But I would vent sometimes about kids if they were in fact the worst. Sometimes you gotta like, you gotta let that breathe, you know, 

Gerry: you're gonna vent. And they, but the kids, they're venting about us. Like it's, it's a two way street. Like, um, it's. Just them. Like, don't, don't do it around them. Don't let them hear and don't let it change how you feel about that.

Like that kid, like, don't write that kid off because of something that made you mad [00:13:00] and you blew high air. Yeah, we're gonna blow high air to someone, whether it's someone we work with or uh, someone at home and just like being responsible for that. But nah, some of 'em, like, they, like they told me I look like kingpin from Spider-Man.

I'm being a little mad about it. 

Andrea: I was just gonna ask you actually, like, what are some of the things you've overheard students say about you? So kingpin from Spider-Man, are there any other crazy 

Gerry: ones? I had a teacher tell me one time, um, he was, he was working ISS and they were talk, the kids were talking about me and a kid wholeheartedly, wasn't trying to be funny, nothing.

He said, yeah, he talking about me. Yeah. He's the one who looks like a ninja turtle. 

Andrea: No, 

Gerry: I grabbed that kid. I was like, you said I look like a ninja turtle. He was like, yeah, my bad. 

Andrea: He's like, that's on me. Okay. But I will say, I've heard people say what I, I think it was from a movie maybe that I was watching recently that they [00:14:00] talked about girls who do CrossFit that look like Ninja Turtles because they get a little bit yoked up.

You know, like their shoulders kind of. Kind of get a little, a little something. 

Gerry: Well, I don't look nothing like a girl who does CrossFit, so I dunno. 

Andrea: I was gonna say maybe it, like, it means you're like a, a, a fit girly that, you know, does a lot of upper body work, you know? 

Gerry: I mean, to eat their own, I guess. I mean, I don't, I don't, I don't, I, that's not what the look I was going for.

Andrea: Right, right. That is, that is, but I 

Gerry: mean, 

Andrea: so fair. 

Gerry: I mean, that's a better group to be grouped in with than some of 'em, like 

Andrea: they 

Gerry: told me prospect like Mr. Eggman from Sonic. 

Andrea: Mr. Eggman? I don't know that one. 

Gerry: Yeah. 

Andrea: Is is it gonna make me sad for you if I look it up? 

Gerry: Yeah, he looks like me. 

Andrea: Uh, 

Gerry: they told me I look like, um, one of the, one of the, one of the little kids from Boss Baby, 

Andrea: which, interesting.

I 

Gerry: can't remember the kid's name. There's one of 'em, 

Andrea: I 

Gerry: think Little [00:15:00] Wo Baby, which I'm glad they said, looked like Little Baby. A strong one. 

Andrea: They 

Gerry: got short orange hair. I don't got short orange hair. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: Not 

Andrea: no more. And do I feel I, I know, I know the one that they're talking about, I think, which I'm 

Gerry: trying to remember.

Andrea: That's the problem though, is that they are so accurate sometimes when the way that they read you that it's like, well, you can't really do much to argue it. It's, it's unfortunate. 

Gerry: It is unfortunate. I look just like that egg now. 

Andrea: So we actually have a voicemail to listen to today, so we are gonna take a quick break and when we get back we're gonna listen to it.

So be right back. Have you ever wondered what I would say if my mother and my administrators weren't watching every single thing I do on social media? Well, that's exactly what my standup show is, and I'm gonna be coming to a town near you super soon. You can get tickets@educatorandrea.com slash tickets.

All right. Welcome back, teacher besties. So we have a voice memo that is a would you rather that we get to listen to. So let's [00:16:00] see what you guys got for us. 

Voicemail: So my, would you rather is, would you rather get a $500 bonus or get one day where you can say whatever you want to Any other staff members with no consequences?

Andrea: I, I know immediately I, I wanna be able to say whatever I want. 

Gerry: I'm taking the money. 

Andrea: Really? Oh 

Gerry: yeah, 

Andrea: no, with no consequences. 

Gerry: I still work with these people, so I, I'm gonna say the political answer and say I'll take the money and, 'cause I'm gonna probably say wherever I want anyways. Like 

Andrea: I was gonna That's fair.

Gerry: Yeah. I mean, I'll, I'll, I'll say wherever I want within reason, and then mm-hmm. Because if I was out pocket, I'll say, I'll go back, Hey, I was out pocket. My bad. Yeah. Or if somebody tells me in my pocket, like, you're probably right. You, I'm probably out pocket. So, I mean, I'm not gonna say. I think if it's something with heavy enough consequences, I'm probably gonna remove myself from saying it anyways.

And if that's gonna be the case, I would just rather do [00:17:00] that with a little money in my pocket. 

Andrea: Yeah, that's fair. I, I want, I wanna be able to say whatever I'm gonna say without consequences. It's, working in a university is a fascinating place because everyone there thinks they're the smartest person that anyone has ever met.

That what they are interested in is the most important thing on planet earth. Um, and some of these humans should shut up. Um, and so if I could just have that, like I don't, I don't need to tell 'em everything I think about 'em, but maybe just like a good solid shut up. You know, like be it like from my soul.

I think that that would, you know, allow me to. Get through life a little bit better. It would feel, it would feel really good. So it would be worth it. I would pay $500 to be able to do that, to be honest. 

Gerry: Well, you can work that out. You pay me 500, I'll come say it. 

Andrea: Uhhuh. Yeah. I mean, yeah, that might, that's a possibility.

Since you're gonna come through Indianapolis for the [00:18:00] Indianapolis show, you just come on over to Terre Haute and I'll just have you say all the things that I can't say 'cause I have to keep working with these people. 

Gerry: Right. You could be like, like you just teach him. One day I put my head, I'm like, Hey, where, what, which room number was it?

And then I bounce. I'm like, alright, 

Andrea: I'll be back. Aw, this. Now this does feel like evidence though. Maybe two 

Gerry: 50 front. 

Andrea: Right? Right, right, right. Um, did you bring a, would you rather question today? 

Gerry: I do have one. So I had one, um, DM me from one, one of my seventh grade teachers. Like they, they taught me, I was in seventh grade at one point in my life and they, and they happened to be one of the people in charge of that.

And they said, um, would you rather have bathroom duty, which they called poop patrol, or, or would you rather have poop patrol for your whole planning or have to administer state testing? 

Andrea: I, I would, I would rather do poop patrol for my whole planning. I hate state testing. It is torturous to me. Um, to have to be [00:19:00] quiet and just stare at students taking a test and not be able to talk to anyone.

It is, it is like my, my absolute worst nightmare. So that, that one's for, for sure, for me. What about you? 

Gerry: Yeah, I think that one's easy. I'm doing the poop Patrol now, even like, because like it is, time moves slower in state testing time is this construct that. Works differently when you're walking around and just every 30 seconds seeing what question a kid's on like time doesn't move the same.

But if you on poop could, I mean my classroom's right outside the bathrooms, I can just roll my chair in the hallway and bring a desk out and put my feet up and just be, are y'all hurry up 

Andrea: and you can be on your phone on poop patrol. You can't be on your phone and stay testing. They will. You not allowed.

Gerry: And then if they, if you're on P patrol and people walk, like stab members walk by, you can just talk to 'em. That's dope. 

Andrea: Yeah. I, I don't mind that [00:20:00] as much. I mean it, as long as you don't have like, kids that are gonna start stuff, like start fights or something like that in the bathroom, then it's generally fine.

And if you're standing there, usually don't, don't, 

Gerry: I don't think they fight around me. 

Andrea: Uh, why do you think that is? 

Gerry: I've seen one fight in five school, uh, yeah. To me, two fights in five school years. 

Andrea: Wow. I had two students get into like a gang fight in my classroom and I was so confused as to who was fighting because like the two kids were right by the door just punching each other, and all I saw was like a kerfuffle happening and then one ran away and then I didn't realize it, but he came back in and like.

Sat in the back, but all the kids had been like jumping around and stuff and so I didn't realize both of the kids that were in the fight were in my classroom. And then, you know, one of the snitches told me and then I had to report both of them. And then I was mad because these kids who had been in my class all year and were really cool with me had gotten into like this massive fight in my like, [00:21:00] can't you jump each other?

Not in my class. That's so rude. 

Gerry: I try and sometimes treat fights. Like, like when a little kid falls down, you know how like if, if like a 2-year-old falls down, you just go, yay. And if they don't think it's a big deal, they might not freak out about it. Like, I kind of do that with, um, the kid when they start getting worked up, I'm like, quiet, like sit down like you are.

Like, just make it like that's not even a real thing that I'm concerned about. Yeah. And then they just diffuse. Uh, and it's probably not bating a thousand, but it does work. So like, just make them feel silly about it. Like, Hey, let's just glaze over that it, it didn't happen and let's just move on with our days.

Andrea: I love that. I think that's actually not bad advice because a lot of times if they feel like they have to, like if you're taking it really seriously, then they have to like escalate. But if you're like, alright, sit down, then it doesn't have to be a thing. So I kinda, I kind of love that. Um, do you have a hill you're gonna die on [00:22:00] this week?

I have one. If you, if you don't have one at the ready. Is there like a really strong opinion? I know this is a hard task for you since you said you, you're not a big, strong opinion guy. 

Gerry: I thought I had one, but it, it was, it was weak. I don't, I wouldn't die on that hill. 

Andrea: You're like, I actually don't care that much.

Gerry: I'm trying my best to have. I, I'm like, let, let me find something that I'm passionate about. Yeah. And I sit and think about, it's like, actually, you know, I don't care. And like, yeah. I don't think I'd die on that hill. I think I would bring a little beach chair to that hill, maybe hang out there and, but I'm not, I'm not getting, I'm not getting guy on that hill.

Andrea: Okay, so my hill I'm gonna die on is that when somebody says, I'm just a naturally blunt person, that means that they're an asshole. Like they're excusing their behavior by acting like it's like this noble character trait. And actually it's that they're a deeply unpleasant person and don't care about other people's feelings.

And I, it's a character flaw. 

Gerry: People who are genuinely blunt, people aren't gonna tell you that they're a blunt person. They're just gonna [00:23:00] just be blunt. 

Andrea: And here's the thing is like, I'm a very honest person. I will, if somebody asks me, um, do I look like, do I look fat in this or something? I might say, oh, you know, I feel like maybe there's a better choice.

I wouldn't lie to them, but I'm also not gonna be like, yeah, fatty, that looks awful. You know, like there's got tact. It tells me people don't have tact if they're gonna be like, I'm just naturally a blunt person. It's like, all right, Jessica, stop it. We don't need to be hurting feelings for no reason here.

So that's mine today. 

Gerry: Do I look fat in this? 

Andrea: I can literally only see your shoulders and your head, so you look 

Gerry: Well, that's actually all I am when I'm not around you is I just shoulders in the head there. There's nothing else. 

Andrea: Perfect. Yeah, that's a lie because 

Gerry: I'm like, I'm like, I'm like the statue of David just all the time.

Andrea: If you guys have thoughts about what we've talked about today, I've gotten some amazing dms from people with ideas for really fun guests and segments and all of that. Um, and you can contact us, [00:24:00] andrea@human-content.com. You can contact, uh, me at educator Andrea on TikTok and Instagram and Facebook, and you can get in touch with Jerry at what are your handles, Jerry?

Gerry: I'm on Instagram and TikTok at Comedy by gp. Um, Facebook. Don't hit me up on Facebook unless you like really old or something. Um, if you want, it is just Jerry Patto. You look me up. I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna look just like this. I'm gonna be on there. It's gonna be Dr. Eggman and I'm gonna be on there.

Andrea: That's, 

Gerry: um, 

Andrea: and you 

Gerry: should follow him because it's good stuff. And that that's, but I'm not giving y'all my, it, it is good stuff. I, I think I'd be crushing it. Um, yeah. I'm not giving y'all my phone number. Um, 

Andrea: social security number. 

Gerry: Maybe just hit me up on Instagram. 

Andrea: Okay. 

Gerry: They don't want that. They, you want that.

Andrea: And you can contact our whole Human Content podcast family on Instagram and TikTok at Human Content Pods. Um, and you can catch our full video episodes up every week on YouTube at Educator. Andrea, thank you so much for listening. I, I'm Andrea, for, 

Gerry: I'm [00:25:00] Jerry Poka. 

Andrea: Our executive producers are Andrea Forker, Aron Korney, Rob Goldman and Shahnti Brook.

Our editor is Andrew Sims. Our engineer is Jason Portizo. Our music is by Omer Ben-Zvi. And uh, to learn more about how to survive the classrooms program, disclaimer and ethics policy and submission verification and licensing terms, you can go to podcaster andrea.com. How to survive the classroom is a human content production.

Thank you so much for watching. Want more of how to Survive the classroom? You can watch more episodes right now. Just click on that little box over there, you see it, and if you haven't yet, please subscribe. Okay, bye.