EPISODES & TRANSCRIPTIONS

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — https://bit.ly/43BquPdTeacher besties… this episode I’m talking about hosting nearly 30 people for Thanksgiving (including a self-appointed “Director of Thanksgiving”), discovering my husband’s family may have some intense World War II memorabilia, and the moment I suddenly had to ask, “Was he… on the right side?”And then, because the universe wasn’t done with me, we dive into a student who shotgunned a seltzer in the middle of a lesson like he was training for a frat he cannot legally join yet… and another student who thought it would be hilarious to make his teacher’s mom his Chromebook wallpaper.Plus, I’m climbing onto a hill that I know is going to get me fired up, because if we don’t fix class sizes in education, nothing else even matters.

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! - https://bit.ly/43BquPdTeacher besties… this week I brought on one of my favorite chaotic humans: the hilarious Gerry Potoka, comedian, teacher, and man of mysteriously undefined licensure.In this episode, Gerry and I try to pinpoint what he actually teaches, debate whether PE tests are secretly impossible, unpack his “desk art collection,” and discover that his lowercase k is actually a cursive crime.We also react to a voice memo that had both of us questioning the ethics of having “favorite students,” accidentally stumble into a conversation about charcuterie boards and disease vectors, and play a game of Would You Rather: Teacher Edition that reveals way too much about our tolerance for cafeteria behavior.Takeaways:The shocking subject Jerry may, or may not, actually be licensed to teach.Why his lowercase k started an existential crisis in the teacher’s lounge.The voice memo that made us both rethink “favorite…

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! - https://bit.ly/43BquPdThis week I’m talking about the grading spiral that made me question my entire career, the wild field-trip confessions my five-year-old brought home, and the absolute unhinged energy that middle schoolers bring into any art room with a blank sheet of paper.And the voice memos? Oh, they’re next-level. One features a crime scene so disgusting I almost logged off my own podcast. The other… well, let’s just say a substitute made a choice that will go down in school-wide legend, and not in a good way.Plus, I’m climbing up on a hill I fully expect to die on, and it involves legal loopholes, teenagers, and why this country needs to get its act together.Takeaways:The surprisingly delicious St. Louis food that healed my pre-show stomach disaster.How a grading pile-up turned into a full-on identity crisis.Why elementary crushes feel like Shakespearean monologues now.The most unhinged classroom va…

In this episode, I’m unpacking how something as innocent as kombucha sent my entire life into chaos… how my own child managed to humiliate me in public with the confidence of a man three times his size… and why I found myself saluting a complete stranger at a gas station like we’d been through battle together.Plus, your stories this week? Unhinged. We’re talking ski masks, mystery backpacks, “not again” from a school counselor (which is never the phrase you want to hear), and one of the wildest parent–interpreter–admin conferences I have ever imagined.We'll also talk about the most hard-core thing I do before a show (hint: it involves antacids). And because I can’t help myself, I’m also taking a moment to climb atop a hill I’m fully prepared to die on, one that every creative, teacher, and comedian should probably hear.

In this episode, I’m talking about everything from a wildly out-of-place operatic performance at my dinner table… to a voice memo that had me reconsidering every teacher’s unspoken job description… to the moment I accidentally confessed to a German felony because I couldn't understand what anyone was saying.And yes, there’s a story in here about nipples. And lotion. And regret. Plus, I’m finally sharing the unexpected resource that has completely reshaped how I think about reading instruction… and honestly, I want to know what you think about it.

This week, I owe Texas an apology. Between discovering that Tex-Mex might be the best food on Earth and listening to a kindergarten voicemail about baby mama drama, I had no idea where this episode would go.But then my kids turned a safety talk into a plan for how to get rid of a body, and a student declared his future as a midwife. Somehow, we still managed to end with a heartwarming story about my sister’s new baby and a resource to help your students love writing again.

This week’s episode had me clutching my pearls and questioning everything I thought I knew about middle schoolers. We got a voicemail about a student caught doing something unthinkable during class and somehow, it gets worse. "Keep your hands to yourself" suddenly has new, deeply unsettling meaning in the classroom. Teachers, you are not paid enough for this level of trauma. Then, I share the foreword from my upcoming book They Never Taught Us That, talk about what inspired it, and reveal a resource that actually helps teachers get feedback that matters. Spoiler: it’s not from your administrator.

This week I learned that parenting might actually be harder than teaching. It started with my five-year-old asking questions about his “balls,” escalated into my husband giving a full anatomy lesson, and ended with me praying his kindergarten teacher doesn’t get a surprise lecture about semen.Then we hear from a teacher whose classroom window literally exploded mid-class (because of a rogue lawnmower rock, obviously), and I share one of my favorite free classroom tools for teaching grammar. All of that plus the hill I will die on: smart people can be terrible teachers, and college professors should be required to learn how to teach.

This week’s voicemails took me on a ride I did not see coming. First up: a sub walks into a high school on eighties day and witnesses a kid try to smash his phone with weights and somehow sets off the fire alarm in the process. Then another teacher shares a story that starts like a simple math problem and ends in the darkest dad joke ever written on a whiteboard.Somewhere between bathroom popcorn hustles, entrepreneurial students, and abandonment issues disguised as equations, we unpack why teachers are equal parts stand-up comedians and hostage negotiators.

This week’s voicemails reminded me why teachers deserve Oscars for keeping it together. One teacher shares the horror of being publicly asked if she’s pregnant and another walks us through a “balloon” disaster that turned out to be something… very not balloon-like. Plus, I unpack the best advice I ever got from an administrator about what to do when kids say something so wild you have to literally turn and face the wall.

This week started with a gut punch, my course evaluations. Let’s just say a few of my college students think I should “go back to teaching middle school.” Ouch. But you know what? They might have a point. Somewhere between grading, crying, and doom-scrolling, I stumbled into a TikTok hole about a guy making something called “perpetual stew.” (Spoiler: it involves placenta. You’re welcome.)Then I found joy again through the weirdest toy ever made, the Fugglers, and two teacher voicemails that prove no classroom (or online class) is ever boring. Oh, and a story about a teen giving birth mid-class that somehow leads to me oversharing about my own labor story. We’ll end with a TED Talk reminder about being a champion for your students… and a hill I will absolutely die on: letting kids live online before they can legally be left alone is one of the biggest mistakes we’re making as parents.

You ever have one of those weeks where your kid says something so wild you can’t even respond right away? Yeah… mine started with a confession about sniffing a friend’s butt. I also found myself on tour with two grown men who can’t remember their rental car company, and then I saw a viral video of a mom furious at her kid’s teacher… because he didn’t drink his water bottle.This week, I’m unpacking all of it . The parenting chaos, the wild road trip energy, and why sometimes, “Bless your heart” is the only thing keeping me from losing it. Plus, two hilarious teacher voicemails you have to hear, including one about a student trying to learn cursive for a very suspicious reason.

This week I found myself wandering through a 90s fever dream, yes, there was an actual Tamagotchi pop-up shop, before heading to Chicago for a sold-out show that brought out old students, old stories, and one deeply unimpressed middle schooler. Then, things got even more chaotic when teacher voicemails rolled in: one about 8th graders who can’t stop saying “6-7” (and now in Spanish), and another about a slime experiment gone very, very wrong. Let’s just say it involved a phrase no one should ever hear in a science class. Add in a life-saving resource for struggling students and a hill I’m ready to die on why student teachers need to be paid and you’ve got an episode that’s equal parts nostalgia, cringe, and fire.

I thought the mic stand was going to be my biggest battle this week… but between parades I didn’t understand, parents at my kids’ school, and voicemails that took turns I could have never prepared for, this episode had me reeling. From a teacher who declared he had his “asshole pants” on, to a locker room surprise that may or may not have been cocaine, to a student loudly announcing she was climaxing in driver’s ed, let’s just say, things escalated quickly. And yes, I have thoughts. Lots of them.

This week I learned that nothing divides the internet faster than Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s engagement and yes, I have thoughts. Spoiler: I’m baffled, not bitter. From my squirrel-and-nut analogies to realizing Lord of the Rings news impacts me way more than celebrity weddings, this episode is a rollercoaster of pop culture side-eye, mom-life struggles, and teacher realities. You’ll also hear listener voicemails that had me laughing and questioning admin choices, plus a resource that might actually save you grading time.

This week had me cackling, cringing, and covering my face. First up, Indiana State roasted me in the most unexpected way, and then a listener voicemail hit my inbox about a confiscated classroom “toy” that looked suspiciously like something straight out of an adult store. Add in another voicemail about a kid who ended up in the ER after a bathroom stunt went horribly wrong (yes, it’s as painful as it sounds), and I spiral into a rant about why “no animal testing” might not be the flex brands think it is.

This episode has everything: a very confusing proposition for Gaspare in Arizona, students showing up to class with “water bottles” that definitely weren’t water, and a kid who decided standardized testing needed more… flames. Literally. I also get into the messy overlap between teacher contracts and legal weed, why standardized tests might be measuring culture more than knowledge, and the one hill I’ll absolutely die on when it comes to superintendents. It’s chaotic, it’s real, and it might just make you grateful your worst testing day didn’t involve a human torch.

This week I found myself caught between two very different kinds of chaos: one involving an art teacher with a flair for fire, and another that sent me spiraling back to the glory days of Limewire downloads gone wrong. I’ll just say this, what started as innocent creative expression and curious music hunting turned into disasters no one saw coming. And yes, you’ll probably feel just as nervous as I did listening back.

Teacher besties, this one whiplashed me from what did that sub just say? to why am I holding the phone with a detective?We start with a voicemail about a beloved substitute whose first day with third graders went… let’s call it catastrophically “old-war-story meets wrong audience.” The recovery arc? Shockingly sweet—but the initial moment had my soul leave my body.Then a second story drops: a teacher realizes a student’s casual recap might be the missing piece in an unsolved gang-related homicide near school—and suddenly she’s coordinating with investigators. It’s heartbreaking, complicated, and so real to how kids can be both soft and street-exposed at the same time.I share how these moments rewire your teacher brain—why some “favorites” in the sub pool become targets, and why kids who brush up against gangs are often looking for the same thing we try to build in class: safety and community

I thought I’d heard it all when it comes to the chaos that happens in schools… and then this episode happened. From bizarre moments that made me question my own sanity to a story that had me laughing so hard I had to stop recording—this one is a ride. Let’s just say it involves a teacher, an unexpected interruption, and one of the most jaw-dropping moments we’ve ever had on the show. You won’t see this one coming.Takeaways: The hilarious way one teacher’s totally normal day spiraled into absolute chaos.A moment so awkward, it had the entire room frozen.The unexpected classroom disruption that changed the whole vibe in seconds.Why sometimes the funniest moments are the ones you can’t plan for.Proof that teachers really do have the best (and wildest) stories.

This week’s episode has everything: brownies gone wrong, mice turning into classroom pets, and yes… the day I realized my car had become a rat maternity ward. (Don’t eat during that part, teacher besties.)We kick things off with a student cruise that takes a very unexpected turn when a principal tries to “prove a point” with confiscated brownies. Spoiler: it backfired spectacularly. Then, a mouse runs straight into class and one student’s reaction is… let’s just say not what I would’ve done.And to balance out the chaos, I sit down with Phil Januszewski, a high-energy youth speaker, about why awkwardness and failing forward might actually be the best gift we can give our students.

Between trying to deep-clean grout, almost impulse-buying enough tile to redo my whole house, and befriending an owl that definitely wants nothing to do with me, my life is chaos right now. But teacher besties, we’ve also got some insane listener stories this week.One caller shares how struggling in school meant being banned from every fun activity, while another almost got fired their first year for the crime of telling a kid to “sit down.” Yep. That’s it. I spiral about IEPs, incentives, dog training parallels (don’t cancel me), and whether candy counts as currency in classrooms. Spoiler: it does.This episode is messy, hilarious, and just a little bit wise—kind of like my grout.

This week? Oh, I just casually FIXED EDUCATION. You're welcome. Between moving houses (but like... literally down the street?) and talking to a room full of superintendents about what teachers really want to say (spoiler: they did not love the football metaphor), it's been A Week™. Also, y'all hit me with voicemails about peeing in bottles and damp key lanyards soaked in mystery liquids and somehow I still can’t stop laughing. Did I mention the AI shower head advice? It’s chaotic, it's honest, and it's the exact emotional fruit salad my life feels like right now.

This week’s episode dives into your craziest educator stories— including what has to be the mortifying moment in classroom history.First, we’ve got a teacher who meant to say “stop jacking around” and... well, you can guess how that went. I lose it (obviously), because every teacher has had one of those moments where your brain short-circuits in front of 30 teenagers.Then, we flip the tone completely for a story that rocked me: a teacher gets repeated death threats from an anonymous student, every day, in Spanish, via Google Classroom. When the system failed her, she became her own detective, and the ending? Infuriating.Plus, I talk about being misread online, learning Spanish for real this time, and a resource that can actually save your life when it’s time to break instructions down step-by-step for 42 different learning styles. Takeaways: A teacher’s slip of the tongue turns into a room-wide freeze frame of secondhand embarrassment.