EPISODES & TRANSCRIPTIONS

I started this episode already on edge because a mysterious chip in my windshield had me spiraling into a full-blown Safelite conspiracy. And if you think that was wild, just wait until you hear what one of your fellow teacher besties found smeared under a student’s desk. (Spoiler: it’s exactly what you’re afraid it is.) Then there’s the student who decided to learn about vasectomies during class. Yes, there’s a YouTube video involved. Yes, it’s exactly as horrifying as it sounds. Add in some waxer hygiene tips I did not ask for, a nostalgic trip to my Legoland days, and a surprisingly heartfelt moment about comedy and marriage—and you’ve got an episode that’ll make you laugh, gag, and maybe cry. All in a teacher’s day’s work, right?

This week I went full trash-TV-to-education-policy mode after Kourtney Kardashian called public school “dated” and bragged about homeschool like she invented it. And y’all… I have thoughts. We’re talking 1% privilege, educational history, and why calling schools outdated is actually the most outdated take of all.Then we pivot—hard—to some iconic voicemail chaos, including the loudest poop story I’ve ever heard and a kid who apparently mistook the restroom for a personal performance space. And yes, I ask the most important question of the day: would you ever let one rip in your classroom? Plus, I drop a bookish resource that I genuinely use and love (and that Kourtney herself might wanna look into… just saying).

This voicemail had me fully sweating. A teacher casually drops that a full SWAT team showed up at her school… and the kicker? It wasn’t even a drill. We’re talking lockdowns, military gear, weapons drawn, and a group of students who were just trying to get to lunch. And the reason they showed up? Ohhhh, you are not ready. I spiral through the possibilities, ask all the wrong questions, and react in real-time to what is possibly the most over-the-top, under-explained escalation in school discipline history.

I was feeling proud after successfully replacing an exterior light… until I dropped a screw into the mulch and my son roasted my bald husband mid-chaos. Classic. But that’s not even the wildest thing in this episode. I’m talking pencil-related injuries, fourth graders defending their moms’ honor in extremely unexpected ways, and the dark, dark rabbit hole of what ER staff have had to remove from people's bodies. (Spoiler: birds. Literal birds.) If you think ADHD, butt pencils, or savage children might not be connected… just wait. Takeaways: What I learned about wiring from YouTube and losing screws in mulch. Why my 5-year-old’s forehead question stopped everything cold. A fourth grader’s defense of his mom you truly won’t believe. The ER story involving birds you will NEVER forget (or unhear). The ADHD hacks I swear by for surviving literally everything.

Let’s just say this episode covers a lot of... ground. From one very misplaced turd to a student-inspired staple surgery, I walk you through what can only be described as a masterclass in middle school madness. We’re talking scorched Chromebooks, poop-related investigations, and yes, whether you stand or sit to wipe (it matters more than you think). I’ll also drop a killer free resource that could save your last month of school. So grab your scooters and your fire extinguisher—things get spicy.

You ever discover something about your teacher that made your teenage brain short-circuit? Yeah, me too. So this week, I dove headfirst into the teacher lore rabbit hole, because nothing says professional development like finding out your music teacher once chucked a desk at a kid. Oh, and remember the DARE program? Apparently, not everyone took it as seriously as I did.We’re also unpacking some jaw-dropping listener voicemails, including one about fake TikToks that nearly cost a teacher her career and another involving a very tech-savvy 13-year-old... and a VPN. Buckle up. I laughed, I cringed, I screamed internally. You will too.

This week, I had a full-circle moment as a burnt-out teacher turned soccer mom… and then immediately pivoted to unpacking a story where a fourth grader threw up peace signs and declared his love for a very adult body part during writing time.You know—balance.We’re talking about teachers surviving without running water (again), why I physically can’t handle fairs (also again), and what to actually do when a student says something so inappropriate that your prefrontal cortex short-circuits.Plus, I’ve got updates on my DonorsChoose shoutouts, book club chaos, and what AI tool just got sneakier inside Canva (heads up, ELA folks—you’ll want to hear this).

It’s Episode 50, and honestly… what better way to celebrate than with a voicemail about a student who threatened to poop on a teacher’s desk?This week, I’m unpacking end-of-year exhaustion (May energy is real and it’s violent), plus the wildest school stories you sent in—including kids confessing their sex lives mid-English class and throwing Pop-Tarts in rage. We’re also talking about failing infrastructure, disappearing school funding, and how to literally show up to your state legislature and say, “Hey boo, we gotta talk.”And if you’ve ever asked a student a simple question and immediately regretted it… welcome. You’re home.

This week, I’m talking to literal Grammy-nominated musical legend John Ondrasik—aka Five for Fighting—about education, mentorship, Costco carts, and how he’s working to put real music teachers back in underfunded schools. (Also, I tried not to ugly cry while listening to “100 Years” on loop. Mostly succeeded.)But before we get there… we’ve got a classroom snake situation, an inappropriate dictionary moment, and a cooking class where a student shows up with a knife restriction and a no-females policy. What could go wrong?From ED plans that make zero sense to policies that make teachers legally required to just stand there while it happens , we’re breaking down the bureaucratic circus one story at a time.Stay for the music. Stay for the IEP trauma. Stay because someone said “bastard” in the most educational way possible.

Teachers, you know it's gonna be a weird week when you're prepping comedy for a room full of principals— including ones you still have to work with. Am I nervous? Yes. Am I planning to open with “remember your why”? Also yes. Let chaos reign.This week, I’m sharing my behind-the-scenes prep for the wildest PD gig of my life… plus two fire-filled fan submissions, literally. One backpack goes up in smoke, and another student brings lint specifically to start a fire during class. And no, that’s not a euphemism.Also, I’ve got two ELA-friendly resources that won’t make you scream into the void, thoughts on classroom routines that actually work, and a major update on my teacher survival guide book (coming soon to save your first year and your mental health).Fires. Comedy. Forced inspiration. And a dress rehearsal for getting heckled by superintendents. Let’s go.

So, we changed the name. Welcome to How To Survive the Classroom —you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.In this kickoff to the new era, I’m diving into two of the most unhinged teacher submissions I’ve ever heard—one involving a movie mishap that will haunt you and another featuring a hallway hair war that somehow became my own personal reality TV show.Plus, I’m revealing the AI tool that actually doesn’t feel sketchy (teachers, I got you), bragging on some simulation drama happening at my university, and prepping for a secret meeting with superintendents that may or may not end in tears (theirs, not mine... probably).If you’re into rogue four-year-olds, teacher gossip, resource hacks, and hearing someone say “nipple” way too many times on a podcast—hi, hello, press play.

What do a lead-painted door, a rubberized body part in a middle school backpack, and the KKK showing up to a school in the ‘80s have in common? Absolutely nothing—except they’re all packed into this episode.Today, I’m kicking things off solo with chaotic home improvement updates (including which stripper works hardest) and a couple of voice memos from listeners that are… honestly, you just have to hear them to believe them. One will have you gasping, the other might make you text your admin “hazard pay?”Then, I sit down with the brilliant Charles Fournier—creator of the hit podcast Those Who Can’t Teach Anymore—to talk about why his show is haunting the top podcast charts, how he captured an entire year of real teacher audio diaries, and why his new season might wreck you (in the best way).If you’ve ever wanted to throw your backpack out a window, doubt your life choices mid-project, or just feel wildly validated in this teaching life—you’re in the right place.

So, we changed the name. Welcome to How To Survive the Classroom—you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.In this kickoff to the new era, I’m diving into two of the most unhinged teacher submissions I’ve ever heard—one involving a movie mishap that will haunt you and another featuring a hallway hair war that somehow became my own personal reality TV show.Plus, I’m revealing the AI tool that actually doesn’t feel sketchy (teachers, I got you), bragging on some simulation drama happening at my university, and prepping for a secret meeting with superintendents that may or may not end in tears (theirs, not mine... probably).If you’re into rogue four-year-olds, teacher gossip, resource hacks, and hearing someone say “nipple” way too many times on a podcast—hi, hello, press play.

We’re back! No, you’re not crazy — we’ve got a new title (How to Survive the Classroom) and a new mission in life. Thanks to your feedback (and my team’s deeply concerning need for gossip), we’re kicking off Season Two with a brand new twist: real call-ins, real confessions, and real chaos from educators everywhere. This season, we’re diving into your craziest war stories, burnout moments, impossible classroom situations, and all the glorious disasters none of us ever saw coming after teacher training. Pour yourself some coffee. Grab a helmet. And settle in. Class is officially back in session, and it’s going to get wild! (Oh, grow up. I meant in a SFW manner… kinda…) — Join our Book Club: www.patreon.com/thosewhocanread Don’t Be Shy Come Say Hi: www.podcasterandrea.com Watch on YouTube: @educatorandrea A Human Content Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices