Knife to the Heart: Kindergartner Insults with Jayson Cross
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Have you ever booked a hotel so sketchy that even the Uber driver took one look and canceled the ride? Because that was my weekend in Essington, Pennsylvania. I’m joined by Chicago-based interventionist and comedian Jayson Cross, who, despite being 47, looks like he’s microdosing youth because he hasn’t aged a day since 2001.
We’re settling a major debate: is it worse to bomb in front of 30 paying comedy fans or 30 middle schoolers who have to see your face every day for the next six months?. Jayson breaks down the "cleanup crew" life of an interventionist, and Gerry admits he’s basically a classroom dictator because "whatever gets you to follow me on Instagram" is his new motto.
Also, we’re back on our medical nonsense (sorry, not sorry). Gerry finally learns that he does, in fact, have a prostate, while I try to explain why a kindergartner’s insult feels like a literal knife to the heart
Takeaways:
The "Crack Den" Hotel: Andrea recounts her harrowing stay in Essington where the hotel room looked like a middle schooler’s backpack and the Uber drivers fled on sight.
The Fountain of Youth: Comedian Jayson Cross reveals he’s 47, leaving Gerry and Andrea spiraling over how he looks twenty years younger than he actually is.
Classroom Weapons: Andrea reveals why the humble stapler is the most dangerous item in a classroom, leading to some truly disturbing "nail bed" stories.
The "Taco" Dealer: Andrea recalls a student who was running a foil-wrapped taco empire in her class—which is a much better alternative to the actual drugs teachers usually find.
Gerry the Dictator: Why Gerry refuses to feel guilty about losing his temper unless he "went too hard," and why he’s leaning into his "dictator" reputation in the comments.
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