Gerry Shot His Shot on the Podcast

Gerry: [00:00:00] Your friend Denver, who we've talked about on here, liked it. Yeah. And you didn't tell me that Denver was Courtney Cox, ACE Ventura level of being a smoke show. 

Andrea: Oh my gosh.

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It also has advice on how to build trust with families, how to manage grading and lesson plans and IEPs and everything in between that they never went over in your teacher prep program. They never taught us. That is available everywhere right now for pre-order. [00:01:00] Hey, teacher besties. Welcome to How to Survive the Classroom.

I am Andrea for, 

Gerry: I'm Jerry Patoka. 

Andrea: And Jerry, it was, but just a few days ago that you were in my house. 

Gerry: That's true. I was in your house, um, which you allowed, by the way. I wanna add that, like, like you, you, you came out and let me in the house. I didn't just like pop up in there or nothing. 

Andrea: This is true. Yeah.

That, that is an accurate statement. Um, wow. What a journey we've been on since we've last recorded. 

Gerry: It's 

Andrea: been, it's been something, I don't even, I don't even know where to begin. You performed for as feature for my Indianapolis show and absolutely crushed it. I 

Gerry: appreciate that. 

Andrea: Crushed it. 

Gerry: That's what I'm trying to do.

Andrea: I, you know, what is most upsetting though, um, is that we reached out to both John Green and Kaitlyn Clark. They ghosted us. We did not get a DM back. They didn't come to the show and I [00:02:00] think they missed out, honestly. 

Gerry: Yeah, neither of 'em showed up. 

Andrea: Unbelievable. 

Gerry: I brought the heat. You brought the heat. Jamie brought the heat.

Steven brought the heat. And what'd they bring? Yeah, nothing. Nothing. They couldn't bring the bodies 

Andrea: absence. It was, it was, uh, real sad, but it was a really fun show. And you had never been to Terre Haute before and so you actually got to experience like the full, the full Terre Haute afterwards. 'cause you actually went and paid homage to our dear sweet guardian angel.

Gerry: I did. I went on my little sweet Larry Bird. 

Andrea: Yeah, 

Gerry: I did. I, I saw Larry Burr, I seen the, I seen paintings of him. I seen a statue of him. I ain't see him. He kind of old. He moves slow. It was cold, but 

Andrea: yeah. Yeah. I, 

Gerry: I, I know where, and I, you guys, I dunno where y'all are keeping him. 

Andrea: I want you guys to be fully aware.

He's not exaggerating when he says that he saw statues and paintings of him in Terre Haute. There are both statues and paintings of Larry Bird that is not an ex and a museum like this is not an [00:03:00] exaggeration whatsoever. Like he is like royalty in Terre Haute. Without a doubt. 

Gerry: I miss the museum 'cause I lolly gagged all day.

Andrea: You did? 

Gerry: And I left and I'm thinking, man, I, I'm just gonna be with the streets. I'm gonna go Terre Haute. I saw a cool building that, I don't know what it was, but it was cool. And people honked at me for taking pictures of it. And I, um, it's some like, it was like a, it was like a general assembly or something.

The Capitol, I don't know what it was. Maybe it was the White House, Terre Haute, 

Andrea: our town hall, I believe. Yeah. 

Gerry: Your town hall. Yeah. Yeah, that ones. And I saw it's cool. And I was like, this is crazy. Looking like, oh, I, I, I saw Larry Bird stuff. I saw a building. I'm like, this is cool. I, I'm going drive, take my time, driving back, I'm gonna figure it out.

And things was cool until I realized that all the places I'd wanna see on the drive home I was gonna be at very much so after dark. 

Andrea: Yeah, hundred 

Gerry: percent. I left with at 4:00 [00:04:00] PM for 11 hour drive with no hotel. 

Andrea: This is accurate. Although my daughter did try and get you outta the house quicker because she looked at you right around, I don't know, one o'clock, and she said, when are you leaving?

Gerry: She did. I'm sitting there thinking like, sweetie, I'm wondering the same thing. I thought I was gonna be out here at nine and I've just dragged my feet. 

Andrea: Yeah, yeah. But it was fun. It was really fun. You did really insult my daughter though, uh, because guys, he was talking to her. He don't even remember about what, but he told my kids that his girlfriend is the Tooth Fairy and the tooth fairy told him.

That last time she came through my house, the teeth looked unbred and kind of nasty and my daughter was appalled by this information. She looked like she was ready to fight. 

Gerry: I thought she was gonna cry and I felt bad. I'm like, these are just jokes. Like 

Andrea: she does not take oral hygiene lightly. It was very serious.

And so therefore she then had to like cough all over you because she [00:05:00] absolutely has flu B right now. And then we didn't know until the next day. 

Gerry: I've been playing defense all week. 

Andrea: Yeah, 

Gerry: and I think I'm right on the cusp on if it's gonna kick in or if I'm gonna beat it. Yeah, I think I beat it. I think I'd have it by now.

Andrea: We hope. Yeah, we 

Gerry: hope. Well, I'm still playing defense. 

Andrea: Oh my gosh. 

Gerry: Starbucks medicine balls and uh, 2000 milligrams of vitamin C every day to fight. 

Andrea: Great. Yeah. Yeah, that's probably almost as good as having gotten your flu shot even. 

Gerry: Listen, li listen, I want, I wanna be clear, I do believe in vaccines. 

Andrea: Okay.

Gerry: But the, but the numbers here for me are, yeah. I've had two flu shots ever. 

Andrea: Mm-hmm. 

Gerry: I've had the flu shot, I've had the flu one time. 

Andrea: Mm-hmm. 

Gerry: One of those times was the same time I got the flu shot. I'm batting a thousand on not getting the flu shot. And not getting the flu. Yeah. Like I'm, [00:06:00] I like these odds.

Andrea: All right. All right. Uh, yeah. My family got the flu. Everybody got the flu last year and we not, I didn't intentionally not get the, the shot, but I, we just forgot. And then it was so late in the season and we didn't get it last year. And then we did get the flu and it was bad. It like took us all out so badly.

So this year I really made sure we all got the flu shot. Um, and so far my daughter's the only one who has like really gotten taken out. Even her case has been pretty mild, thankfully. But you said something when we got on, which is that you've been watching Monty Python recently and Yeah. The, the shade that you threw against Monty Python.

I cannot let stand You don't like Monty Python? Monty Python and the Holy Grail. No. 

Gerry: So I watched Monty Python, the Holy Grail, recently Uhhuh, and I think it might be one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my life. No, 

Andrea: no. 

Gerry: And 

Andrea: no. 

Gerry: That could be because it was so built up that it came down and there's another.

I feel the same way about the Breakfast Club. 

Andrea: Interesting, 

Gerry: interesting. It was [00:07:00] so much of, oh, I've heard it so good. And I can't appreciate old movies like it's not beef with old movies, it's beef with old movies that people like that actually suck. Like Monty Python, the Holy Grail. There's maybe seven minutes in that movie that are like funny and I can appreciate that.

The movie's an hour and a half long. I'm like, the rest of this blows, this is bad. 

Andrea: So 

Gerry: it was borderline insufferable. 

Andrea: Oh, 

Gerry: it was 

Andrea: bad. Okay. 

Gerry: It wasn't as bad as the Breakfast Club. Wow. Um, 

Andrea: I, I will say that I'm actually not a fan of the Breakfast Club, so I'm not gonna loop those two together in my defense. 

Theme: Oh, good.

Because it sucks, but, 

Andrea: um, but blood, my 

Theme: python, the Holy Grail. 

Andrea: Oh my gosh. Here. Okay. Do you like, like any of those? Slap stick type of movies though, like do you like the movie Airplane? 

Gerry: Never saw it. I've been watching movies that I haven't seen before. Okay, so Airplane and Space Balls are two [00:08:00] that keep getting presented to me.

I tried to start Space Balls Uhhuh and something stopped me and it was so stupid that I was like, I don't know if I can watch this. It's been the same thing with the Water Boy. Interesting. Adam Sandler gets on my nerves and the water boy, and every time someone's tried to give me a watch of the water, boy it's being against my wheel.

And I'm like, I just can't get with it no more. 

Andrea: Okay, so I think here's the problem is I think you missed your window because every movie you just mentioned is a movie. They 

Gerry: met me before I was born. 

Andrea: Well, yeah, but I mean, most of those came out like when I was either a very young or B, before I was born like mine, Python.

So when 

Gerry: they first started making movies, 

Andrea: shut up. Shut up. No, here's the thing. These, all of these movies are best. Observed with friends. It's like comedy, right? Like, yeah. I don't know if you, if you're aware of comedy, Gerald, um, I'm aware of it. But when you want, if, when you, when, when you watch something that's funny that like the context matters and I feel [00:09:00] like all of the movies you mentioned are funniest when you are sitting with a bunch of your friends on a Friday night hanging out, like being silly because they're all stupid funny, but like.

In a way that is so iconic and cherished and it's, it's almost, with all of those movies, the reason people talk about it that much is not even so much like the specifics of what they do in the movie, but the amount that you quote it afterwards, like, it's like one of those movies that like, it becomes part of your vernacular in a way that like builds the, like the absolute epicness of it.

Like I had a group of friends in high school and we would just constantly quote Monty Python all the time and like, I'll watch it now. And it's not that I'm laughing the entire time so much about what's happening, but the fact that I remember all of these other things that happened and we quoted that movie, [00:10:00] don't you have a movie like that?

Isn't there any movies that you like, quote and reference all the time? 

Gerry: Talladega Knight's, the ballet of Ricky Bobby. 

Andrea: Okay. Exactly. 

Gerry: I wake up and I'm more, I piss excellence. I'm just a big hairy American winning machine. 

Andrea: See, I feel like you have to hit like all the movies you mentioned need to be 

Gerry: in. Like, see, that movie was formative.

See main people like me, these dumb Southern gents and Motzi Python and the Holy Grail was made for people like you, old ladies. 

Andrea: Wow, those are fighting words unnecessary. Um, so much shade. No, because I think that there, it's like the stupid, funny silliness that I, I just, I love that stuff and I am also kind of obsessed with any movie that can take.

Slang phrases that we've all stopped thinking about and turn them into something different. Let me show you what I mean. So like in, [00:11:00] um, young Frankenstein, there's the werewolf and he is like werewolf their wolf. They're people like, do you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not doing a good job quoting it, but like nothing you're giving me nothing.

Gerry: That was tough. 

Andrea: You know what 

Gerry: that 

Andrea: was for somebody who made a pun joke at the show this weekend, you're awfully judgy. 

Gerry: It was 

Andrea: a good one, a good pun. It 

Gerry: was a really good one. 

Andrea: It was a good one. And I love a pun joke, which is why I told you to do it because it's a, it's like an easy swing, right? Like I don't, I think that we should take all the easy swings and also work hard at like making very clever humor.

But like I thought, I think it's great. And now I'm upset that you don't like Monty Python, 'cause I think you're watching it wrong. 

Gerry: It was bad. I dunno how it's like, I would rather, I would've rather like watch people stub their toes. 

Andrea: Ugh. That's a weirdly specific thing. Is that something that you watch regularly, Jerry?

Gerry: No, it makes me pain. Uh, it makes [00:12:00] me pain. That's not sense. It 

Andrea: makes me pain. 

Gerry: Makes me feel pain. 

Andrea: It makes 

Gerry: me pain. A quote from Jerry did watch him. The first time. This one shocked people. I think more, I watched Ace Ventura Pet Detective for the first time recently too. 

Andrea: I hate that movie. That movie. 

Gerry: I liked it so much more.

Andrea: I hate that movie. 

Gerry: I thought I would. 

Andrea: Yeah. No, I, I can't do Jim Carrey. I don't think he's funny. I thought also think. 

Gerry: Jerry 

Andrea: Seinfeld's funny. 

Gerry: And you wanna know else I found, I found out in that we're gonna gloss over that Jerry Seinfeld thing. Okay? You wanna know what else I found that mean? Courtney Cox is hot.

Andrea: She, yeah, 

Gerry: I knew she was attractive. I knew she was beautiful. Okay? Mm-hmm. But I'm waiting that movie, I'm like, oh, hold on now This, this ain't, this ain't Monica. This ain't the Monica that I've grown to love. 

Andrea: Yeah, she's amazing. Um, also, I think we all need to take a moment because as, as I told you, my mom listens to the podcast and my mom recently called me and [00:13:00] had to tell me that she loves Jerry and she thinks that Jerry is a smart, smart young man with a lot of potential and she really wants you to finish your edTPA so you can keep your teaching job.

Um, and she said that you need to get that done immediately. So that's just a message for my mom. 

Gerry: You didn't tell me this. 

Andrea: I know. Yeah. I saved it for this. 

Gerry: Yeah. No, and listen, Andrew is, mom, I love you. I appreciate you, but you don't understand the art of the Patoka. You don't get how things happen for me, 

Andrea: guys.

Gerry: I got it on locks. It's mm-hmm gang, gang. Like I got, I got things locked down. What? 

Andrea: Gang. Gang is an insane way of, of saying you're gonna get your edTPA done. That's wild. 

Gerry: I'm gonna do it. That's gonna happen. 

Andrea: I love it. Okay. 

Gerry: When we talked about, we talked about someone else from your life too, 

Andrea: who 

Gerry: yesterday, your friend.

Andrea: Oh. [00:14:00] Yeah, we did. Do you want, are you gonna shoot your shot right now? 

Gerry: Yeah, I'm gonna shoot my shot right now. 

Andrea: Okay, great. Go for it. Um, 

Gerry: so I tagged Andrea in some pictures on Instagram at comedy by gp. Nice. And uh, yeah, shameless plug. And, um, your friend Denver, who we talked about on here, liked it. Yeah. And you didn't tell me that Denver was Courtney Cox, ACE Ventura level of being a smoke show.

Andrea: Oh my gosh. Yeah. Friend of the podcast, if you guys have been listening for a while, you are very familiar with Denver and all that. Denver is, 'cause she's been on the pod many a time. And, uh, Jerry's in love now, so 

Gerry: I'm a little hurt. She didn't follow me. 

Andrea: Yeah, you should take it first away. That's 

Gerry: okay.

Because Denver, if you hear this, follow me. Once I get this ozempic, it's gonna be like buying a house and getting it remodeled. I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be so hot. You gotta clip that. Denver, Denver is one of the most beautiful people I've ever [00:15:00] seen in my life. I was like, yo, hold Andrew. You've been holding out on me.

I, I thought it was, I, I thought it was gonna be a, another mom. No offense to the mom since she might be a mom. If she's a mom, I'll be a stepdad. I don't care. 

Andrea: She's not a mom. She's single as far as I know, still. Uh, she's still single great and friend of the podcast and has been on the podcast many times.

So maybe we'll bring that on. Yeah. I can't 

Gerry: wait for her to be on the podcast. 

Andrea: We gotta clip you just shooting your shot with Denver for 

Gerry: Oh yeah. Clip it. I don't, I don't care. Put it on there. Tag her in it. Collaborate with her. Li live on her page. Denver's one of the most beautiful people I've ever seen in my life.

Oh, 

Andrea: this, my gosh. 

Gerry: Take this as my official. 

Andrea: Wow. What a be, what a beautiful thing. 

Gerry: Shoot my shot. Yeah. This is, yeah, man. This is Hallmark right here, baby. I know the cold weather's almost over, but go ahead and invest for the winter. When, when big, strong, burly men like me starting to make our comeback again.

Andrea: Oh my gosh. Well you guys heard it here first. This is just the beginning of the love story. I can't wait. It is to see how all of that happens. [00:16:00] Do you have anything else about, um. The weekend or anything else like that before? 

Gerry: No, I think that was it. I, I, my only real plan was to confess my love for Denver.

Oh, one more story I was gonna share that I didn't tell you about that I saved for this. 

Andrea: Okay. 

Gerry: Um, I sent you a text about road trip snacks. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: I, I was leaving your house Sunday. I look over on the counter. You had giant bag of marshmallows. 

Andrea: Yes. 

Gerry: And I was like, oh man, they're marshmallows. It's looking real good right now, but they were closed.

I didn't ask for no marshmallows. I drove about an hour and got back into Indianapolis, stopped for gas, and I'll buy a huge bag of marshmallows at the gas station 

Andrea: as a road trip. You've asked, I would've given you some marshmallows to take on the road. I would've. I still 

Gerry: still got some. I like looked over.

I was like, is it in my book bag right now? I've still got the marshmallows. 

Andrea: You brought 

Gerry: marshmallows? I seven of them. It was 

Andrea: interesting. 

Gerry: I was like, uh, [00:17:00] this was bad. This was not a good choice. 

Andrea: This was, yeah, I 

Gerry: bet I better, most are good. And threes or four is not a whole bag of them. Them. I was like, 

Andrea: no. 

Gerry: I like, I feel icky.

I was, my hands were sticking to the steering wheel, bro. That's 

Andrea: so gross. That's not even, that wasn't even your vehicle. That was your, your dad's vehicle. It's a shame. 

Gerry: Yeah, and he got it back all sticky. They're marsh marshmallow, puff in the cup holders and on the handle and things. 

Andrea: Wow. 

Gerry: Yeah. Heated steering wheel.

It's like I was making s'mores in the car. 

Andrea: Oh no, sorry. Papa Patoka. We didn't, we didn't mean to send your vehicle back. Um, covered in Marsh Ilow. I don't call him. That 

Gerry: felt weird. 

Andrea: No, I'm gonna call him that. You know, you didn't like that. That weird Pop Toka is wonderful alliteration. I'm not calling him daddy, so I think we're safe.

Gerry: No, no. 

Andrea: Made a worse. I'm gonna 

Gerry: send him the link of this. Comes out. 

Andrea: Amazing. I love it. He 

Gerry: can be. He can be like, what was that? 

Andrea: Mm. Alright, well we have some very fun fan [00:18:00] questions we are gonna get to, but first we are gonna take a very quick break, so we will be right back.

Have you ever wondered what I would say if my mother and my administrators weren't watching every single thing I do on social media? Well, that's exactly what my standup show is, and I'm gonna be coming to a town near you super soon. You can get tickets@educatorandrea.com slash tickets. Welcome back. Um, okay, so I have a couple of things.

The first thing is a question that somebody sent in. If parents saw everything that happened at school, what do you think would shock them the most? That's the exact same noise I made when I, when I read that question, I was like, oh. Oh, what wouldn't shock them honestly, like I, okay, so my first thought was simply the pride and [00:19:00] openness that kids have about their dumbest behaviors.

Like the amount of times that teachers are unfortunately confronted with the very personal lives of what their students are doing outside of their classroom, especially in high school like. The amount of times that I've had to be like, I can, I can hear you. I can actually hear everything you're saying.

And they're looking at me like I'm crazy because they are talking about like their sex lives or sexting or like any of those things. And I'm like, I don't wanna hear any of this. Please stop, whisper, learn how to write a note, for example. Just insane. 

Gerry: That don't really happen at the middle school. I scared a kid the other day and he farted.

Yeah. I mean that's, that's something we get sometimes. Um, 

Andrea: wait, how did you scare him? 

Gerry: Can't remember 

Andrea: that. It feels like a pretty pivotal part of the story. Jerry, you scared a kid and he [00:20:00] started I remember. Oh my gosh. You like boot? I'm 

Gerry: trying 

Andrea: to think if I'm 

Gerry: blending two memories together. 

Andrea: Oh my gosh.

Gerry: Insane. I like did some, I, I think I like asked him a question or something. Like, I don't think it was nothing crazy because sometimes I will, I like to do his thing. I walk down the hallway and if it's a kid like I have a pretty good relationship with, I'll step at him. 

Andrea: Hold on one second. Excuse me. Is this an emergency?

I already told you you could eat something. Go eat something. Guess which kid that was, 

Gerry: uh, the little one. 

Andrea: Yeah, of course it was 

Gerry: this, these, this stuff makes so much more sense now. 

Andrea: I bet. Yeah. Now that you've hung out with my children, the fact that they come down 15 times and they're like, can I have a snack?

Can I have a snack? Snack? Especially 

Gerry: the little one. 

Andrea: Uhhuh. Yeah. You've seen my son now and, and guys, I, people think I am making up the stories 'cause my son is in my standup quite a bit and people think I'm making it up. I don't have to make it up with him. [00:21:00] He is just constant. Just a constant, no barrage.

Gerry: He never met me, and we're sitting on the couch and I'm, I'm sitting there doing something and he goes, mom, eat your toes. I'm like, what dude? Like where? What we talking about 

Andrea: that? That's right. Do you remember what you told Jerry? 

Gerry: He went for it. He put his face down there. I'm like, am I supposed to kick him?

What do I do? 

Andrea: Jerry's not been around little kids and you could tell, and it was so funny 'cause he didn't know what to do. What did you tell him though? When he is like, I'm gonna eat your toes. And you said, all right, do it. And he went, do it. 

Gerry: I told him, I told him, I said, if you, I like, if you going to do it, like just know I probably peed on that foot more than I've watched it with soap and water like.

Andrea: And you know, it was effective. My son immediately stopped trying to put his mouth on your feet. So nailed it. Honestly, that's just parenting is you just gotta learn how to like out crazy them a little bit and then you're golden. Um, did, so I've never scared a fart out of a student. I've had students that have like sneezed or coughed and [00:22:00] farted on accident and that's pretty upsetting.

Gerry: Yeah, I can't really, I really can't. I think it really was something I just asked him a question. He and farted. I'm like, what? 

Andrea: That's not you scaring a fart. That's a middle schooler having no bowel control. I feel like. 

Gerry: Yeah. See, I thought I scared Adam him, but the story is like starting to come back. I'm like, I don't think I scared him.

I think he, he farted in response to something. He didn't just fart. Yeah. There was something, and I remember I said, that made you fart. And he was like, oh, my bad, my bad. 

Andrea: Okay. I have a question because, um, as as stated, I have this boy in my house, right, this lovely child of mine, um, and he's at this stage right now where he will fart.

As a punctuation, as, um, a gesture, as, um, an attack. He really like, he has a fart for, he 

Gerry: did that while I was there too. 

Andrea: Yeah. He'll do it at any point in time. And last night [00:23:00] he did like the classic like Dutch oven where he's like, mom, come under the blanket with me. And I was like, okay. And we're like under the blanket.

And then I was all of a sudden smelling like a rancid butt. And I was like, did you just. Do that. And, and like, I just wonder at what point did you go from being like, I'm going to go and like, fart in someone's face to being like, maybe I shouldn't do that anymore and pretend that I don't fart ever. 

Gerry: Oh, I never pretend that I don't fart.

Oh my God, I be farting in class. 

Andrea: Do you 

Gerry: loud and I discover I, uh, if I can help it. No, but I mean, I cover 'em up sometimes. 

Andrea: How? 

Gerry: Um. If I sit a certain way, it just, it's quiet. 

Andrea: You don't cough or anything like make any kind of loud noises? No. If I 

Gerry: cough knowing I'm gonna fart, that cough might load that fart up so hard that I poop in my chair again.

Andrea: Which by the way, that's [00:24:00] something we need to talk about. So right before the show Jerry comes up 'cause he shows up to my house Saturday morning at like, I don't know what time you got there. 10. Elevenish. 

Gerry: Wait, we didn't talk about this on the podcast. 

Andrea: We didn't talk about this part. The fact that, okay, you showed up at like 10 or 11, went downstairs and like, took a shower and all that, and then brought me some clothes to put in the dryer and the clothes.

Gerry: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't, I, I said Andrea. Can I put some clothes in the dryer to de wrinkle 'em? Yes. And you said Yes, I will get them. You make it sound like I was like here a servant. No, 

Andrea: this is not the part. No, this is not the part that the people need to know about. I find out after I have put these clothes into the dryer to de wrinkle them that it is the same shit pants that he had told us about on the podcast that he has.

It's those di pair of pants from Dick's that we were talking about a couple episodes ago, and I only find out after they've [00:25:00] been steamed through my dryer and now everything is dirty forever because your poop 

Gerry: pants, that was two years ago. 

Andrea: I just don't feel like it's been the only time. I don't feel like it's been the only time in the past two 

Gerry: years, four times a week.

I only have two pairs of pants. 

Andrea: It felt 

Gerry: like a betrayal. I found some. 

Andrea: You found some Wait, what? 

Gerry: IFI found a pair of pants. I forgot I had, it's not important to the store. 

Andrea: Oh, okay. Gotcha, gotcha. 

Gerry: I forgot was the problem is 

Andrea: not, 

Gerry: was they was in the closet. Most of my clothes usually don't make it to the closet and I just pick from the same pile.

And when that pile gets low, I guess I had nothing to wear. Now I go to the closet, like organized clothes. I'm like, hold on, yo, I got stuff for real. 

Andrea: Wow. 

Gerry: But no, like, nah, I'd just be far today. I, I left, uh, I had to, I had to, um. I had to go pee pee. I had to make a number one and I'd go to the bathroom and a teacher popped in and was like, can you stand right here for a second while I go to the bathroom?

And I get to the bathroom and I'm farting so hard. It had my [00:26:00] hopes and dreams in the farts, like they was coming from my, from my brain. They were coming from some dreams in my fart. 

Andrea: Crazy. 

Gerry: They were coming from my core, 

Andrea: just 

Gerry: straight from your soul down the bathroom, farting While I'm peeing. I was like, man, I had to text her.

I was like, Hey, I'm, I got. My stomach turned on me in this bathroom. I'm gonna be a minute like, I hope you don't have a meeting or something. 

Andrea: You might have a GI problem, I think is what we're finding out more and more. 

Gerry: I have, I have a, I eat cookout as pretty regularly. Problem. 

Andrea: Yeah, that is probably exactly what it is.

Hold on one second and 

Theme: you may I see that. You're fine. It's only a little bit of blood. 

Gerry: Oh, okay. 

Andrea: That's fine. You're okay. Go back upstairs this time it was my daughter, she was bleeding again. 

Gerry: Oh yeah. I knew. I knew the way you answered that. 

Andrea: Mm-hmm. 

Theme: We do again, 

Andrea: last time I think you were bleeding as well.

Go, 

go. 

Andrea: Last time 

Theme: I had in my, 

Andrea: that's right. Last time you ingested paint. That's right guys. This is just [00:27:00] working mom life. And you know what? Um, drawing blood and ingesting, uh, paint and stuff. It, you know, it wouldn't have crazy. Well, she's coming down there 

Gerry: for good reasons. 

Andrea: She is like, the reasons are valid.

My son is just coming over to ask for snacks after I just fed him snacks right before we started recording. So there you go. That 

Gerry: boy can eat. 

Andrea: And yet he's the tiniest little thing. Should 

Gerry: we talk about the bacon thing? Oh 

Andrea: yeah, guys, that boy, okay. 

Gerry: Ate more bacon than me and I looked like I invented bacon.

That boy was tearing some bacon. He'd come in, can I have another piece of bacon? And he would change who he asked. He's like, I have another piece of bacon. And they'd like, you just had five pieces. And he went, yeah, 

Andrea: that was not an exaggeration. That's all he ate for breakfast that day. And he did. He asked me for three and then I was like, okay, one more piece.

And then he went over to my husband and asked him for bacon and then got like two more piece. I don't even know how much bacon he ate. It was a lot of bacon. It was objectively for health reasons. Too much bacon. He 

Gerry: ate more bacon than me and I am six times the size. 

Andrea: He [00:28:00] probably ate as much bacon as like everybody else at the table 

Gerry: combined.

Andrea: Mm-hmm. It was outrageous. Yeah. That's that kid man. He could put it away. It's, uh, concerning. I'm concerned for his health because while he eats that much bacon, getting him to eat anything that is green, it is like torturing him. So 

Gerry: you, what you need to do is, this is what, how I learned. Make some put, like cook a steak.

Does he like steak? Mm-hmm. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: Yeah. I know he does. I saw how much bacon he ate and coat the asparagus in the steak 

Andrea: in 

Gerry: like the steak. The 

Andrea: steak juice. See I use a lot of, of butter in the asparagus and all that, and he's still like, gar, garlic and butter and like 

Gerry: all of that. No, you gotta just dump it raw in, into what you put the steak in.

And you gotta abuse that steak too. I'm talking butter seasoning, however much you think you should put in there. Put a little more. Mm-hmm. And then make sure, just leave it and let there be like this little, this little saute of heart attack right during the pan and they throw the [00:29:00] asparagus in there.

That's an intro to the vegetables. 

Andrea: That sounds great. Honestly, 

Gerry: that's about the only way I'll eat 'em that, or there used to be this little Japanese place in my hometown that you'd get like kid takeout and they had the best broccoli I ever had in my life. I don't know how they did that. Broccoli and carrot from a butter.

I was tearing up down there. I look. I mean I was, I was, I was crushing. 

Andrea: Wow. What a guess. I think 

Gerry: I'm gonna get some hibachi for dinner. 

Andrea: Oh my gosh. 

Gerry: I don't even know where 

Andrea: to 

Gerry: find hibachi. 

Andrea: Uh, nor I actually, now that I think about it, they, it's in the Midwest. Finding any kind of ethnic food that is even remotely good is quite the challenge.

So I'm very excited because this weekend I'm gonna be in DC and Philadelphia, so I'm gonna get some good food this weekend. It's gonna be great. Um, okay. I have a hill that I'm gonna die on. Do you have a hill today that you're gonna die on or not? 

Gerry: I think it's easier if I just one day let you know when I have a hill 

Andrea: I'm, you know what?

That's right. Yeah. Because you are like, 

Gerry: I already on my hill that, that Denver is one of the hottest people I've ever seen. [00:30:00] 

Andrea: Actually, you had a couple of, you had a couple today because you, Denver, you're, you're in love with Denver. And then the other thing is that Monty Python is not funny, is an insane hill that I on.

Gerry: No, by 

Andrea: the 

Gerry: way. No, no, no backup. I didn't say it wasn't funny. It's got some funny part. The be the good parts of it are really good. They're really funny. Uhhuh. It's just the movie's an hour and 32 minutes long. 

Andrea: Yeah, 

Gerry: and 11 minutes of those are good 

Andrea: and they're funny. It's like the same percentage of your standup set being funny though.

Gerry: We can run the, we can run the tape, Andrea, we can run that. You don't even believe that with your whole heart. Don't, you don't even believe that. Don't, 

Andrea: that's a straight up lie. But you 

Gerry: don't even believe 

Andrea: that's a straight up light. I, I 

Gerry: actually, I rarely come off feeling great. Usually I come off and I'm like, nah, I wish this had gone hurt.

I wish I had done that and I felt bad. 'cause when I came off, you were right there. I wanted to be like, Hey, have fun. Kill it. I came out, I'm like, let's go. I'm kicking my legs up, like I'm about to go play in a Super Bowl. I go out there and reset my camera and [00:31:00] Steven's like slapped me on up, like slap asleep.

I'm like, I killed that. You 

Andrea: did. 

Gerry: I did that 

Andrea: guys. I And that's the re like, I, I would never make that joke if you hadn't Absolutely killed it. It's funny though, because I was, I was just talking to somebody and they were like, well, like how much time? 'cause that's a thing guys, and those of you who are not in comedy, like, they'll ask how much time you have.

And that means like, how long of like a solid set do you feel like you have? Because I, I do an hour set and so like. A really well polished comic can do an hour, right. I am still developing and all of that. And I was like, I feel like I have like a really solid 40 to 45 and then the rest I'm still very much working on.

Um, and there are a lot of comics that are like that at d at different stages and stuff. Um, and I also do crowd work and all of that as well, which usually doesn't count in to that, but No, Jerry did. How long were you up? 20, 20, 25. 20. 

Gerry: I did 20. 

Andrea: 20 and it was a solid 20. It was just nothing but laughs. 

Gerry: I think I could have done, I think I could have done 25, anything more than 25.

I'm like, uh, 

Andrea: yeah, 

Gerry: I think I can [00:32:00] do 20, regular 25 for teachers. 'cause teachers are different. You can kind of do whatever 

Andrea: And the Midwest loves you apparently. 

Gerry: I guess so. That shocked me. I do. Well when I'm not in North Carolina, I do decent in North Carolina. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: But when I like go out, that's why I be trying to leave.

Like I go to New York, they love me up there because 

Andrea: I 

Gerry: sound like this. 

Andrea: You're exotic. 

Gerry: They love me up there. They're like, yo, where'd we get him? And I'm like, they was growing me down south, man. 

Andrea: Exactly. Okay. 

Gerry: I look, I look like I have overalls in my pocket. 

Andrea: You do actually. Yeah, you absolutely do. Um, okay. I, this is serious, Jerry.

I have a hill I'm gonna die on. This is very serious. Um, okay. My hill that I'm gonna die on is that if a school is making you cover a class on your break, you should either get paid double. The expense of a normal sub, or you should get that hour back added to your leave balance. Because I think schools need to be motivated by money to go out, [00:33:00] get enough subs to cover for absences so that your teachers do not have to sub on their break.

Boom. Do that Everyone, 

Gerry: people get paid to cover. 

Andrea: Yeah. Not North Carolina apparently, but yeah, in places 

Gerry: I'd just be doing it. No, I, um, yeah, no, I've had to. I've had to do it sometimes, and it's like, I don't even, 'cause some, I get sometimes stuff happens. Mm-hmm. And people are out and they couldn't prepare for a sub.

Andrea: Right. Right. 

Gerry: Or they could, they couldn't get a sub in the building. And so I, I, I get less, I get, I only get agitated by it if I feel like I'm having to do it all the time. And I'm like, man, I'm here all the time. 

Andrea: Yeah. So, question. Do you guys have a site sub as well? 

Gerry: No, not anymore. 

Andrea: Okay. So that would piss me off because I didn't know that was a thing at the first school I worked at.

That number one, they never paid me for covering for like open classes. Um, and we didn't have a site sub and I didn't know that was a thing until I moved. [00:34:00] And then when I worked in California, they had two site subs, so two people that showed up every single day to cover absences. And then also, rarely did they actually ask for coverage from us because they prioritized it so.

Your school needs to get a safe sub. Yeah. 

Gerry: Yeah. Um, yeah. And so it's, and then when I start feeling like I'm doing it too much, I bring it up and we talk about it and it gets figured through. But like also when I'm out, like if I have to cover not long after being, I'm like, okay, I get, I was just out. That's true.

And typically I'm out with enough time that I get a sub. Yeah. I've had subs though, cancel at eight o'clock the night before, and it's like, all right. Hey. People are gonna have to cover for me now, and I feel bad about 'em. I did what I'm supposed to do. Like I, 

Andrea: yeah, they, they looked and they were like, be mindful 

Gerry: of when be out.

Yeah. 

Andrea: They're like, I'm not covering for Patoka, not dealing with those kids. Absolutely not. No. I'm sure your students are lovely. I'm sure they're angels, only angels at all times. They better be. 

Gerry: They, they know what it [00:35:00] is. 

Andrea: Oh my gosh. All right. Well, 

Gerry: they're good. 

Andrea: Uh, of course, of course they are. Um, okay, so we both have shows coming up, I believe.

I know I do. In March, I'm gonna be in Potstown, Pennsylvania. I'm gonna be in New York City, which New York show out because according to all of my data, that is one of my biggest cities. Um, so I'm trying to get the word out, make sure everybody knows about that show. Um, and then we're gonna be in Nixon, Missouri and, uh, Kansas City.

In April, teacher's lounges. Um, and I think that's all I've got on the books for the next couple of months. Jerry, what do you have coming up? 

Gerry: I'm gonna be all over Raleigh Durham area in March. Yeah. As I'm looking at my calendar now, I will be in Jacksonville, North Carolina, March 7th, um, March. Fifth is Kerry, North Carolina, March 6th, Durham, North Carolina.

March, March 19th, apex, North Carolina, March 26th through [00:36:00] 28th. Here in Raleigh, North Carolina, we have the Raleigh Comedy Festival. I will be hosting and, uh, featuring our local showcase. I'll host one of the shows I got, uh, selected as one of the local performers. Um. March 29th, me and some friends of mine are gonna be in the 8 6 1 room at Goodnight's Comedy Club doing big Boys of comedy.

Um, you'll see some large men getting large laughs. 

Andrea: Nice. 

Gerry: Um, 

Andrea: nice. 

Gerry: Yeah, and that covers it for March. Pretty much love 

Andrea: it. Love it. And where can people find you? 

Gerry: I'm on Instagram at TikTok at Comedy gp. 

Andrea: Perfect. And you guys can find me at Educator Andrea on Instagram and TikTok and full video episodes are up every single week on YouTube.

You can email us with questions or video submissions, voice submissions, any of that kind of stuff, andrea@humacontent.com. Or you can submit your voicemails@podcastorandrea.com and you can contact our whole Human Content podcast family on [00:37:00] Instagram and TikTok at Human Content Pod. And thank you guys so much who left those wonderful reviews.

Please keep it up. Give us five stars. Share the episode with other people, other teachers that are like trying to survive right now, maybe doing their edTPA A Who can tell Jerry what to do? Let 'em know. Let 'em know that we need their help. Tag Denver in this post so that she knows that her true love is just waiting for her out here.

Gerry: Denver. I love you. I love you, baby. 

Andrea: And on that note, thank you guys so much for listening. I am your host Andrew for 

Gerry: AB Jerry Patoka. 

Andrea: And our executive producers are Andrea Ham, Aron Korney, Rob Goldman, and Shanti Brook. Our editor is Andrew Sims. Our engineer is Jason Portizo. Our music is by Omer Ben-Zvi.

And to learn more about how to survive the classroom's program disclaimer and ethics policy and submission verification on licensing terms, you can go to podcast or andrea.com. How to Survive the Classroom is a human content. Production.[00:38:00] 

Thank you so much for watching. Want more of how to survive the classroom? You can watch more episodes right now. Just click on that little box over there, you see it, and if you haven't yet, please subscribe. Okay, bye.