Teaching Kindergarten vs High School: The Overlap is Real

Gerry: [00:00:00] And I picked up my phone to send you a picture of the scab that peeled off my leg yesterday 

Andrea: Gerry, don't send me pictures of your scab. I'll send that to your mother as well. 

Gerry: You don't, promise? 

Andrea: Don't send me the picture.

Hey, teacher besties. I am so excited to share with you that my book, They Never Taught Us That, is available right now. It is everything an experienced or first-year teacher needs to manage the chaos of a modern classroom, including some anecdotes to make you feel a little bit better, because if there is a way that you can screw up, I've probably done it.

It also has advice on how to build trust with families, how to manage grading and lesson plans and IEPs and everything else that they never went over in your teacher prep program. They Never Taught Us That is available everywhere right now 

Molly: Hey, teacher besties. Welcome to How to [00:01:00] Survive 

Andrea: the Classroom.

I'm Andrea Forkham. 

Gerry: I'm Gerry Patoga. 

Molly: And I'm Molly Dugan. 

Andrea: And Molly, I feel like we need to start today by checking in on how you're doing because last episode, um, for those who don't know, Molly got scammed so bad, just brutally. Um, and we just need to check in. How are you doing? How are you, how are you surviving, thriving?

Molly: Hey, guys. Uh, thanks for checking in. Yeah. Um, so here's the updates. The money, gone. 

Andrea: Mm. 

Molly: Not coming back. Ugh. Uh, the dignity, inching, inching forward. Okay. We are slowly refilling, but it's still in a deficit. It's still in a deficit. I'm feeling better because a lot of people have started coming forward being like, "My fiance, who's like a really smart dude," blah, blah, blah, blah, "literally was at the bank about to fall for the same thing and the bank stopped him."

And I'm like, "Okay, I'm not that dumb." Yeah. So [00:02:00] we're slowly getting there. Um, and it's made for some pretty good content. Now, overall, I have an update for you all. Yesterday was the one-week anniversary of Scamgate. And, uh, I think that God rewarded me because number one, on Scam Day, I lost my new ring, okay?

Gerry: Oh. 

Molly: My claw ring, and I was really sad about it 'cause I was like, "How could this day get worse? I also lost my ring." On the anniversary, the week-iversary, I found my ring, and then I'm at the gym, who comes walking in? Hot Rob from Love Island and Traitors. 

Andrea: Okay. I saw your post on Instagram, I think, about this.

Uh-huh. I have never watched Love Island, so I didn't understand the reference. I clicked on his profile. There's a lot of abs happening, but that's all I know. 

Molly: Abs, like... 

Andrea: Yeah, like so many. 

Molly: Yeah, dude. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Molly: Yeah. 

Andrea: Did you talk to him? 

Molly: Heck no. [00:03:00] I was so nonchalant. I wish I could show you guys how nonchalant I was.

Andrea: Yeah. 

Molly: Um, so he walked in and I did, like, an immediate double take, 'cause I'm in Kansas City. 

Andrea: Right. 

Molly: Like, Hot Rob, what are you doing in Kansas City? So is that what they called the Survivor guy, too? Boston Rob What? That's who it is. Sorry, I'm getting them mixed up. 

Gerry: Got it. 

Molly: Okay, so he comes walking in, and I'm like, my brain just knew.

Now, I did know he's dating a girl that lives in Kansas City, which, like, how that happens, I don't know. So anyway, he's there, and I'm like, "What?" And I see his, like... He has these, like, snake tattoos that everyone talks about, and I saw them, and I was like, "Oh my God, that's..." I was, like, blushing immediately. And I was like, "Okay, this man has a girlfriend, number one.

Number two, like, I need to be so nonchalant. Like, don't be a weirdo." Right. And so despite how much I wanted to be a weirdo, I didn't, but I did... He was doing these, like, tricep dips. 

Gerry: Mm-hmm. 

Molly: And, like, okay, my computer's, like, here, this far from me right now. I walked, like, that close to him three times to get my weights.

Andrea: Were you [00:04:00] just, like, walking and staring at him uncomfortably- No ... or did you pretend you, like, didn't see him? 

Molly: Oh, no. Like, oh, there's no one cool here right now. I'm just walking. 

Andrea: I love 

Molly: it. I was so chill. But then, it... What was fun was I looked around the gym, and you could see all the other girls like me.

We're, like, doing our thing, and we're going, like, watching him just out of the corners of our eyes. Right. It was very cool, and I think that that was the universe and, um, God, and whatever higher power you might believe in, telling me, "Hey, queen- It's okay, we're on the come up now 

Andrea: Yeah 

Molly: And you're my little science to you, so.

Andrea: I do have questions because, again, I've not watched any of Love Island or anything like that. What is, why the overalls? Why are we just, like, nipples flapping in the breeze and wearing overalls? What is that? 

Molly: Um, so his season was the season that made Love Island USA huge, 'cause it was always Love Island UK was the, the really good one.

Right. In his season, the cast for some reason just, like, everyone was, like, enthralled by them. And he's this, like, country boy who just, like, doesn't really care that [00:05:00] much. He's like this, that archetype that's like, "I don't really care about fame, but, like, if being hot and doing ads makes me money, then I can just go play on the farm all day."

Like, he's kinda that vibe. Okay. So he packed overalls to Love Island and just, like, wore them one day, and it kinda became his thing that he was known as. Okay. As like a joke, but kinda serious, you know? 

Andrea: Yeah, because any man who's actually ever worked actual, like, farms- Does overalls ... in real life wears a shirt under it.

Molly: For sure, but he was on Love Island, where you're supposed to, like, be sexy and make out. Got it. So it's like he could just kinda ... He's, like, hot, so I think he was like, "Whatever. Like, this isn't that serious, so I'm gonna dress goofy," you know? 

Andrea: Right. Right. It's an interesting- Yeah ... choice. Um, I'm looking at, like, the Google Images population that comes out when you search hot Rob Love Island-

and it's just, there's a lot of him holding a snake. There's like a lot of [00:06:00] snakes happening. And if 

Molly: you- 

Andrea: Listen, a lot of, a lot of bib overalls, and I just, to me, that's not ... It's not for me. 

Molly: It's not your guy. 

Andrea: It's not, he's not for me, and that's okay because I've got the man that's for me, but if he's for you doing his tricep dips in Kansas City, I love that for you.

And- 

Molly: Thank you so much ... 

Andrea: I guess 

Molly: his girlfriend. He's not for me. Yeah, he's not for me. He's for his girlfriend. Mind you, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a woman, women supporting women girly. 

Andrea: Right. Right. 

Molly: But the whole snake thing, if you go to his Instagram, like, every video that's not an ad is just him with literal snakes.

Like, he just loves to go find snakes. Like, he goes- 

Andrea: Okay ... 

Molly: to other countries and, like, I don't know, it's weird. Anyway, he's really not for me. Like, he's probably not the type of guy I actually wanna be in a relationship with. He's probably not my vibe. But he's so fun to crush on, like celebrity crush on. 

Andrea: I get it.

I get it. I, I did just come across something that said that he is going to be reading audio erotica. 

Molly: Oh. [00:07:00] Ah. Which 

Andrea: is a choice that some people make. Should 

Molly: I ask him about it at the gym? 

Andrea: You should. Just as he's doing tricep dips, and be like, "Are you trying to get your growls right for when you read the audio erotica?

Just out of curiosity." Gerry, do you wanna chime in here on this at any point? 

Gerry: No, I'm good. Pass. 

Andrea: I love that God- I do have 

Gerry: one question. Oh. Who was calling him Hot Rob? Was he calling himself that? Me. 

No, 

me. Did he... So you- 

Andrea: No, but, like, if you, if you Google Hot Rob, he is who comes up. Although, if you just Google Hot Rob- Just 

Molly: Google Rob

Andrea: Rob Zombie shows up. 

Molly: Some people know him from Traitors, 'cause he won Tr- ... Do you guys know that show? 

Andrea: Um, I've never watched it, but I've heard of it. 

Molly: He won, like, the most recent season. Yeah. So a lot of people know him more from that now, but he got his, like, big start from Love Island a few years ago. 

Gerry: This sounds stupid.[00:08:00] 

Molly: Okay, Mr. Spider-Man. Gerry, that was rude. Don't yell at my young king. 

Gerry: Ma, I'll k- ma, I'll kick you in the head. 

Andrea: That's fair. That's... You can't do that. That's a crime in every state. Um, okay. So glad to hear that life has started improving. The universe is- Mm ... starting to give you gifts, like reality stars in your gym.

I love that for you. 

Molly: Thank you. 

Andrea: Um, how is your dad dealing with the fallout of this? Your dad, who is a lawyer, who you had to call and tell about this scenario. He- Have you guys had further conversations? 

Molly: No, I'm too scared. Um- That's 

Andrea: fair ... 

Molly: he would be nice about it, but I just really only am interested in people that are going to give me pity and say-

"I'm so sorry that that happened to you." And my dad just won't. He's gonna say, "Yeah, this is your fault." And I'm just not ready for that honesty yet, so- 

Andrea: I 

Molly: get that ... that might come in a few months when I'm, when I'm more secure. 

Andrea: Yeah. How many people have, like, gone by a Walgreens or [00:09:00] seen something and thought of you and sent you messages, other than my husband and I the night after you told us that?

Molly: Um, I don't know. I hope no one. Obviously, everyone. Right. But me personally, so a lot of the Walgreens and Walmarts and CVSs that I was going to are right by my school. 

Andrea: Great. 

Molly: Driving by them makes me break out in a sweat It makes me very... It was such an awful night. Uh, it was crazy to think back on. 

Andrea: Yeah.

Molly: It was 

Andrea: tough. And so I told my mom, and she was really upset for you as well. Ugh. She, my mom was, like, really angry at the scammers. And I was like, "Yeah, they, like-" They're so mean ... were texting her back and forth, and even after the fact they were texting you. 

Gerry: And- Are we 

Andrea: at the point where- My mom's like, "What scum of the earth."

So my- 

Gerry: Are 

Andrea: we- My mom's on your side ... we at the 

Gerry: point where Andrea's mom DMs Molly, too, or is that still just me? 

Andrea: I don't know. Have you earned that yet, Molly? 

Molly: I don't know. 

Andrea: Okay. If, if you don't- I have to find her followers- If you don't know- ... to see it ... then you haven't gotten there yet. You'll get there.

Don't 

Molly: worry. But also, what if I accidentally didn't see it? So you guys are gonna have to- ... [00:10:00] send me her profile so I can follow her. 

Andrea: Okay. Great. Yeah. 

Molly: Also, hey, I do have a PSA for our audience and for you guys. I 

Gerry: don't even 

Molly: think I follow her. Because of ScamGate- 

Gerry: I gotta look. Because 

Molly: of ScamGate, I have now gone into a deep dive of scams, and my friends and I have.

Okay. They ha- Well, people are doing this genius thing where, like, with their friends and family, they have a safe word because, like, for example, scammers try to call, like, my grandparents and pretend to be my cousin. Be like, "Nana, like, I'm in trouble. I need money." Yeah. And people are starting to, like, have theories that they're gonna, like, be taking voices and AI them.

Yeah. 

Gerry: For sure. 

Molly: So we have safe words so if, like, my dad gets a call from me being like, "Dad, I'm held hostage. I need a million dollars," he can ask me a question and I have to say my safe word of, like, if he says, like, "Well, did you have dinner?" And I say, like, I don't know, "Lasagna," and if I say lasagna, he knows it's really me.

Andrea: That's smart. Yeah. 

Molly: I think it's smart, too. 

Andrea: Also, um, another really popular scam is calling [00:11:00] somebody and being like, "Hey, so and so is in jail and they need bail money." Um, that is a super common one. Like, family friend of ours got that call, and thankfully they then called her and were like, "Are you in jail?"

And she's like, "I'm at home. What are you talking about?" 

Gerry: Right. 

Andrea: And so they were able to circumvent the whole thing. But just so you guys know, those are some popular ones. I feel like we're just doing, like, PSAs. That's why I'm saying, like- We're just helping people out ... I 

Molly: wanna know about those scams. No. And then I'd be like, "Well, I don't know how jail works.

Okay." Yeah. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: We should, we should have safe words. 

Andrea: I don't know if I have to pay warrants over the phone. The three of us? I'm not sending money to save you from anything, Gerry. I'm gonna be honest. They're gonna have to call somebody else. 

Gerry: Shit. 

Andrea: I'm so sorry. Gerry, 

Molly: I would, but I have no money left. 

Gerry: Nope.

Molly: There's no more 

Andrea: left. The scammers took it Oh, the scammers already got it. They've already got it. They're sitting over there with their buckets of money. Um, okay, but Molly, you told me about something you came across on, was it TikTok? [00:12:00] The, the students calling out cringey teachers. Oh 

Molly: my gosh, have you guys seen these?

Andrea: I don't think I have, and I'm a little upset about this. 

Molly: Gerry, have you? 

Gerry: No, I don't know what you're 

Andrea: talking about. What, what... Are they, like, are they, like, acting like the teachers? Is that what it is? 

Molly: Guys, okay, I really probably should have pulled one up. Well, you know how, like, Gen Z will make edits, and I don't know how to describe them, but it's for some reason funny.

Like, I don't know how to describe how they do it. Oh, they go crazy But it's, it's kind of insane. But, so okay, before the first day of school, I saw one and it said, like, "The BS I'm gonna have to see at a ripe 7:00 AM." And okay, I feel really bad because it's, like, obviously, like, teachers supporting teachers, but, like, it was cringe.

And it was, like, teachers in the hallway, like, trying to, like, dance and get kids hyped at, like, 7:30 in the morning- ... like, on their way to class, and it's just kids walking down the hallway being like, "My God." And then I look- clicked on the comments and it's all these [00:13:00] teenagers just being like, "Bro, this already pissed me off and school hasn't even started yet.

Um, math class is first hour, I already know they're gonna try to be too hype, like, in first hour." Just, like, the cringey stuff that we do to, like, I don't know, be relevant. And honestly, seeing it from a kid's POV on a TikTok, I was like, "Damn, that is cringey as heck." 

Andrea: Like, okay- I, I hate it ... excuse us for having enthusiasm.

Gerry: Nah, I don't like enthusiasm. You hate enthusiasm at 7:00 AM? Yeah. I, at

Molly: first, felt offended. I don't have enthusiasm till about 9:30. And then I was like- Yeah ... like, I, sometimes it is a little, it's like PD, when you're like, you're doing- Like- ... just a little too much. Like, just be a little bit more real. I'm trying. It made me suddenly go through everything I do and I was like, "Oh my God."

Andrea: Yeah. 

Molly: How many times have I been like, "Yeah, guys. We're ready to learn." 

Andrea: I feel like I always was at, like, aware enough about how lame to them it was that I would acknowledge, [00:14:00] like, "Oh my gosh, you guys, I'm so excited. We're gonna read Much Ado About Nothing, and it's amazing. It's gonna be so fun." And then they would just stare at me.

I'd be like, "No, really, it's gonna be ama- you guys are gonna love it." And more in a way where I was like, not genuinely seeking their enthusiasm, but mocking them for the fact that I knew they wouldn't enjoy it, but I, in fact, would. And that was for me. That was like a little special treat I got to have because I knew I was the only one that was gonna enjoy it.

But what else do we have? Like, we can't, we can't have enthusiasm for them, and it is, it is tough convincing a bunch of 15-year-olds that Shakespeare is gonna be fun at, like, 8:27 AM. That's pretty brutal, to be honest 

Molly: Okay, 1000%. I couldn't agree more, and I feel like I do that too I don't know how to explain this.

I guess I'm talking about, what was another one that I saw? It's like- 

Andrea: I'm, like, looking through trying to find 

Molly: the 

Andrea: videos I'm 

Molly: talking about I've wanted to comment on them so bad and be [00:15:00] like, "Oh my God." Okay, you know how, like, they all make fun of English teachers and be like that one English teacher, and they, like, pretend to be cringey ass, like, English teachers and all this stuff?

It's that, but, like, times 10, and you're just like, "God, it really is bad seeing it from a kid's POV." Yeah. And, like, that is so me, and I'm not gonna change But like, I felt so exposed. And I just, I don't know why my algorithm is betraying me like that. It's 

Andrea: bad. 

Molly: Yeah. 

Andrea: It's, it's pretty brutal when they clock you, like so clearly.

Because even if you're like comfortable with who you are and how you conduct your class, sometimes when somebody can so very descriptively show you what you look like, it is still just a bummer. 

Molly: It's bad. I'm trying to find one and I just can't. I put first day of school cringe. If I find one, I'll let you guys know.

Andrea: Amazing. Amazing. Not that you would ever be cringe. Oh my God, I found myself. Oh. First- Did you, did you look up first day of school cringe and your own video came [00:16:00] up? Oh, Molly. Oh, no. Was it on TikTok? 

Molly: Uh-huh. 

Andrea: Did somebody like, that was just like the AI identifying you? Wait, 

Molly: and when I clicked on it, the search at the bottom says Miss Duke can fart.

What is happening? Oh, 

Andrea: no. 

Molly: Okay. 

Andrea: I'm so sorry. 

Molly: Just when I thought the universe was rewarding me. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Molly: Dang it. 

Andrea: I'm ... Most of what I'm seeing is like all students being like- 

Molly: Yeah ... self-deprecating. I'm gonna have to find it. Bummer. No, they were like making fun of teachers and I was like, "Oh my God, they're so right.

Like, we are cringe." Or like, listen, I love all teachers. Like, I do know those teachers that are like... Y- this is what I'm s- it's like, it's like the, it's like the, like I'm not, they are not aware of it. Yeah. It's like the teaching is my superpower vibe. 

Andrea: Correct. Yeah. See what I'm 

Molly: saying? 

Andrea: I d- I really do, and I have [00:17:00] actually s- so one of the videos that came up actually was a good friend of the podcast, Philip Lindsey, his video came up.

What a sucker. Um, no, I, I do know what you're talking about, and the, the people who make it, like not o- I mean, which this is, I understand, a little hypocritical, people who make it their whole personality, as someone who's made it- Same ... my whole career, my social media content, my stand-up content, all of that kind of stuff.

But I like, if people hang out with me, I don't feel like I bring it up that quickly, where I'm like, "Let me tell you about my, my teaching experience and all of that" but- 

Molly: But the- Yeah ... world needs all teacher vibes, so you know what? Rock on teachers. 

Andrea: That's right. That's exactly right. It's fine. I- Yeah, I get it

I will say, anytime I see anybody on On TikTok or Instagram being like, "I just need to talk about this teacher creator," I take it personally until I am 1,000% sure they're not talking about [00:18:00] me. And sometimes it takes, like, an uncomfortable amount of time to figure out if they're talking about me, you know?

Like, even if I know I haven't done the thing, I'm like, "What if they've translated it to thinking I'm doing the thing that you're talking about?" Like, l- one of the ones I see pretty often is like, oh, like, what is it with teacher creators that, like, are dogging on teaching? And I'm like, "What if they didn't understand my humor, that I love teaching so much, and I'm, like, pointing out the funny parts of teaching, but they're not getting that?"

Like, I go into this cycle where I'm like, "They're picking on me, actually." And they're like, "Nah, like, this actually has nothing to do with you." 

Molly: As soon as I see a video that starts with something about, "I can't stand this teacher creator who... or creators" Yeah ... I go, I, like, get nervous to finish it, and sometimes I'm like, "Should I just keep scrolling?"

Andrea: Yeah. 

Molly: Or do I need to know this information? No, this seems like none of my... 

Andrea: 1,000%. 

Molly: I get nervous to see- Yeah ... 'cause I'm like, "What if it's about things that I do?" 

Andrea: Right. 

Molly: Right. But then I go back to, like, [00:19:00] "No, I know I'm not doing anything messed up. I'm not, like, crossing any boundaries, so okay, whatever." 

Andrea: Right.

And I never put my students in content, which is one of, like, the cringiest things. I will say something that I find so incredibly annoying. There are, like, a few teacher creators who I'm not going to say the names of, but I can tell you guys after, um, that I really am actively annoyed by for various reasons.

Like, really, they just... I find their content upsetting for a lot of different reasons, whether they have students in there, whether I feel like their messaging is, like, just there's something about it, right? And I will tell Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, whatever, like, "Not interested," and they still come across my feed, which makes me think that they are paying for, like, getting their content pushed out and boosting Because there's like three separate [00:20:00] creators that I loathe, and I finally had to block them, not because they've ever interacted with me in any way, but because I think that they are paying for boosting or follows or in, or whatever, so much so that like after I've told the different pages, like, "I don't want to see them," they're still coming across my feed.

Molly: I wanna know who they are so bad. 

Andrea: I'll tell you after. 

Molly: We should Google if that's a thing because you might have just cracked a code on how to figure out if people are paying for followers. 

Andrea: I mean, probably, right? Like, if I- Yeah ... see something and I'm like, "I'm not interested," and it'll ask you, like on Facebook at least, it'll ask you like, "What do you not like about it?"

And you can say, "I don't like this creator." 

Molly: Mm. 

Andrea: And that's what I'll put, and then it's still like the very next week they're like, "How about now? Do you like them now?" And I'm like, "I actually like them less now because I said I don't like them and you're bringing them up again," so. 

Molly: Do you like them now?

Andrea: Yeah. I know. I find it terrific. We should go fight them. Um, I should go fight them. I should go physically assault someone else- Should we take them? ... because I don't like their content. [00:21:00] Yes. 

Molly: I don't think I'd be good in a fight. 

Andrea: Yes. 

Molly: I think you both would be. I'd be 

Andrea: bad. You've got... Your arms are long. No, I 

Molly: know.

I think you could fight somebody. I'm, I'm lanky. Like, sometimes I just freak out for like- I feel like 

Andrea: your slap would go crazy though. 

Molly: You see? 

Gerry: Well, here, 

Molly: here's the key. If y- I know I'm at high fives ... 

Gerry: here's the key. If you getting beat up, then me and Andrew got time to work on our two if, if they hurting you, and then we'll come p- we'll catch up.

So just keep your hands up, you know? Yeah. Yeah, that 

Molly: works. 

Gerry: Yeah. Curl up into a ball and 

Molly: be like- I think I might, listen, I can't... Just, just survive. Just survive. I think I could- Yeah ... I could... If I saw someone hurting someone I know, I think I could see, see red. That's fair. But if it's just like, "Oh, we're fighting now," and it's like even and we just like go at it at the same time- 

Andrea: Yeah

Molly: I think I would lose, and I'm just self-aware in that way. 

Andrea: I- Bob and weave, mama. Bob and weave ... I've never been in a physical, I've never been in a physical fight, so I have completely unconfirmed confidence, but I just feel like I could, you [00:22:00] know? 

Molly: I think you could. You give the energy. 

Andrea: Thank you. Thank you.

Molly: Not in a bad way. Yeah. In a good way of like- 

Andrea: Yeah ... 

Molly: no, I just am not gonna let stuff go. 

Andrea: Yeah. Like, I've never had to get in a physical altercation. I'm far more likely to like, I'm, I'm gonna walk away, but if you swing on me, then I like, I, I will end the fight, you know? On that note, and that slightly threatening messaging, um, we're gonna take a quick break and then we're gonna be right back.

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Well, that's exactly what my stand-up show is, and I'm gonna be coming to a town near you super soon. You can get tickets at educatorandrea.com/tickets

Welcome back teacher besties. Okay, so, uh, Molly did, uh, a little [00:24:00] question box this week, and I am so fascinated. The second I saw this come across your stories, I immediately wanted the answers. And can you explain, like, what was the prompt, and what were some of the answers that you got for this? 

Molly: Okay, the prompt that I put up was for high school teachers, I mean, middle school too, but you know, the forgotten child.

But anyway, middle school, too. But mostly high school because it's such a vast difference. I asked high school teachers to drop in the box what are things that they have to say to their high schoolers that kindergarten teachers also have to say to their kindergarten students? Because I had posted a story about the wild things my freshmen did on a walk outside.

The amount of kindergarten teachers that were like, "Oh, so these are the same things I have to say to my kids." So that's what prompted it, and I got a lot of replies. But before I do it, I wanna know what you guys have had to say to kids that you think kindergarten teachers also have said. I mean- 

Andrea: Pull your pants 

Gerry: [00:25:00] up

Andrea: immediately, uh, keep your hands out of your pants. 

Molly: That one was a reply. 

Andrea: Yeah. Stop sniffing your fingers. Um, hands to self. Don't put that in your mouth. Let's see. You can't just ask someone to see their private parts. 

Gerry: Oh. 

Andrea: Um, here's the thing, is like, I've had to say that to, like, high school students, right?

Freshmen. Um, and it's usually boys, 'cause they're always, like, sitting there, like, talking about their genitals. And they'll be like, "No, I'm like this." Like, "Show me. Prove it. Pull it out. Pull it out." I'm like, "You can't ask people to-" 

Molly: Like, stop ... 

Andrea: show their private parts. But my, my sweet son, I ta and I've talked about this on a couple of reels.

Like, back when my son was in preschool, um, he ... Like, they had naptime still and all of that, and his preschool teacher, it was her first year when sh- when she had my son, and he apparently one time in the midst of naptime, like, stood up, dropped his pants and underwear [00:26:00] to his ankles, pointed to himself, and it was, went, "Penis," just in the middle of all...

Like, just to s- just... There it is, ladies and gentlemen. And n- now he's in first grade, and, um, he is still going to a school with this same teacher, and the other day there was, like, the kids potty, a- and so she went in to go to the bathroom, and he was going potty. And apparently, like, he was standing peeing, all of that, and he, like, crashed out about this, right?

And he's like, "Oh my gosh, I can't believe you saw." me going pee. Like mortified, right? And he's like, "I, man, I did not expect it to be you to walk in and see this." And she called me and she's like, "Andrea, I have to tell you, like, I'm so sorry. Like, he didn't lock the door. I went in and he was mortified." And I was like, "Girl, did you [00:27:00] tell him it's not the first time that he has flashed you?

Because it's not even, like, not even close to the first," 'cause like every note home I would get about this kid was like, "He's talking about his genitals again. Um, and you know what? It's great that he's comfortable with his body and we support that, but maybe a little more dignity and, and privacy is needed for this child."

And I'm like, "You're right. You're right, you're right, you're right." And so I, like, this kid, man. So the, the whole, like, don't show your privates to other people feels very real to me because it's still a conversation I have to have with, with my own children. Um, but Gerry, you're teaching middle school now, which is like this weird in between place.

Do you feel like there's a lot of crossover there between, like, kindergarten and middle school? 

Gerry: I'm not gonna lie, I don't really know what you- like crossover, you mean like the, like the things I have to say to them? Like, do you say the same things? Yeah. Okay. My brain wasn't- Like what do you [00:28:00] say 

Andrea: out loud that you feel like you would have to also say if you taught kindergarten?

Stop 

Gerry: talking. 

Molly: If you were a kindergarten teacher, that's how you'd, is that how you would get them to stop talking? If they were all talking and they were, they were little five-year-olds in a room, what- I'm not a kindergarten teacher for a reason, bro. Yeah, what would you do? Like, I- What would you do? What would you do?

Andrea: Like, you show up to work tomorrow. They're like, "Gerry, I'm so sorry. We already have coverage for your class. We need you to cover kindergarten." You show up to kindergarten. They're yapping a lot. How are you silencing that class? Okay, let's 

Gerry: back up. I'm not showing up to kindergarten. I'm go- I'm getting back in the car.

I'm going to the crib. I'm going to a McDonald's. I'm imagining Gerry- I'm going to the house ... 

Molly: standing in front of a room of 25 five-year-olds going, "Stop talking." 

Gerry: Yeah. 

Andrea: That's what I do as a college professor. I have to stand up there and be like, "Hey, so," and here's the thing- 

Gerry: You wanna know what I do now 

Andrea: Go.

Gerry: I just scream 

Andrea: What do you mean? That 

Gerry: we talk about, "Ah." 

Andrea: [00:29:00] Oh, like just- Yeah ... without words, you just make a noise? 

Gerry: Yeah. Sometimes I'll, like, slam into the wall. Mm. I'm like, "Ah." 

Andrea: Slam into the wall- Shit like that ... in what way? What do you mean? Like, you like throw your whole... Oh, I mean, that would do it. Yeah. 

Gerry: I think I'm stuck like this now.

But yeah, I mean- 

Andrea: You might be ... 

Gerry: something like 

that. 

Molly: Okay. You know, you know what kind of crap would happen to me though? If I were teaching and I tried to get their attention by, like, doing something like that, like two kids would notice and the rest of them would keep talking- ... and then it would just be so embarrassing.

Are you okay? I've 

Andrea: had that, where I'm like- My hip ... this is, this is gonna cook, and I get so ready to do something and I'm like, they're, like, this is gonna annihilate them. Wait. And like one kid hears- 

Molly: And then- ... 

Andrea: and then everyone else ignores me and I'm like, "Okay. 

Molly: Awesome. 

Andrea: I got it." 

Molly: Terry, are you okay? 

Gerry: My hip cramped.

My hip cramped. I was like, oh my God. 

Andrea: Oh my gosh. No, I, like, [00:30:00] I think about the way I have to get the attention of my college students now, and these are adults, right? Like, there are people who are sometimes older than me in this class. And so I have to, like, and I also have always felt like it's really important to be, like, respectful in my interactions with my students.

And so if I'm like, "Okay, let me just, hey guys, hey guys" But the problem is, is adults are kind of the worst when it comes to getting their attention. The most disrespectful crowd I have ever spoken to in my life was a group of superintendents. There was about 20 of them. 

Molly: I believe it. 

Andrea: I walk up there and I'm like, "Hey guys, thank you so much for letting me talk to you today."

They are staring at their phones. They are actively typing on their computers. I would say 60% of them do not look up from their laptops. Some of them are actively talking to each other in like a normal loud voice. [00:31:00] And if I'm teaching a group of high schoolers and this scenario occurs, I correct it. I'm silent until it stops, all of that.

Instead, like, as a college professor Talking to a group of superintendents, I'm like, "I don't know how to... Like, what do I... How do you be like, 'Hey, listen, listen, you're being super rude. How about we don't act like a bunch of assholes just because we have a bunch of people that report to us?'" But they are not used to that.

They wouldn't love for someone to say that. Um, so instead I just am like, "Okay. Um, hey. So I'm gonna start," and just kinda like take a mo- And some of them c- continued talking. And I spoke to some of my, uh, coworkers about this, and I'm like, "Hey, so that was the most disrespect I've ever tolerated." Like, there have been students who have tried me like that, and I would've immediately, like, clocked it, put 'em in their place.

But when it's people who are [00:32:00] superintendents who are like, "Oh, actually, no matter what you have to say, even though I came here of my own volition, my own free will, I'm gonna do whatever I want and disrespect you because actually I make three times, seven times your salary," the audacity was crazy. So I don't recommend talking to superintendents and, um, I do feel like maybe some of the things that you do for speaking to kindergartners maybe would be effective with superintendents.

Um, it probably wouldn't be received well, but maybe they would kind of clock that they're being rude and disrespectful. It could be effective. 

Gerry: You should have crab worked him. 

Andrea: Be like, "Where you from?" 

Gerry: You should've been like, been like, "Hey, what, what job were you forced to resign from to get this one?" 

Andrea: How, um- Tell me about your experience in education.

Did you have any or did you just take this job? Yeah. No, they, um, they tend to be notoriously, uh, really [00:33:00] un-self-aware. So I don't know how great that would go. Yeah. I got 

Gerry: that sign on losing a congressional race soon. That should be fun. 

Andrea: So you didn't, you weren't able to get elected mayor. So is that how you ended up here or

Guys, I still need to book speaking gigs so we can't go too far on this. Um- And guess 

Molly: what subject they taught? 

Andrea: History. History. If it wasn't true, we wouldn't- I 

Molly: know ... 

Andrea: we would not have to say it. Okay, I wanna hear though- 

Molly: Oh ... 

Andrea: what, what did ... First of all, what was it you were saying to your f- was it freshman on your walk that prompted all of this?

Molly: Dude. Well, first of all- ... everyone in the comment was like, "Oh, I noticed that you're only saying boys. Did you not have to get all ... Did you," or not have to, they said, "Did you not get on the girls?" First of all, they gave me an all boys freshman class. Okay? 

Andrea: Wait. So- Like, wait, wait. 

Molly: No, you heard right. 

Andrea: 100%? 

Molly: There were two girls, but I don't really count [00:34:00] them 'cause they were mute because they were so annoyed, so.

Andrea: Okay, wait. How many students are in this class? 

Molly: Uh, around 20 to 25. No. It kind of fluctuates. 

Gerry: It's really only two girls. 

Molly: Because that hour what had happened was there was an all girls PE class at the same time. 

Andrea: Oh 

Molly: no. And so it just, like the scheduling kind of worked out that way. Luckily ... Yeah, so that was the case.

It was tough. Guys, I- It was tough ... 

Andrea: I, I need to acknowledge real quick that this is not a sexism thing. This is not us hating men. Love men. We've established this despite the comments on Facebook and TikTok and Instagram- ... about a recent reel. 

Molly: Pro-man. I'm pro-man. 

Andrea: We are, we are pro-man, pro-boy, but the dynamic when you have a classroom that is all of one gender is so wildly different.

Like, if, if you have a, a group [00:35:00] of all boys, it is, it is so challenging to get them on track. Now, to be fair, if you have a group that's all girls, you are gonna have 90% more tears that year than you would if you had a group of all boys. If you have a group of all boys, there will be violence. It just, the amount of testosterone, it just explodes into little pockets of, like, shoving and touching and all of that.

Girls are gonna, like, still shit on each other, but in each other's souls. The boys do it by punching. And so a group of, like, 20 to 25 freshman boys is, uh, criminal, I would say. 

Molly: Yeah, so unfortunately this also wasn't the first time this has happened to me. One year I had an eight- so first of all, this one was at the, also the last hour of the day.

Gerry: Ugh. 

Molly: Okay? Um, a couple years ago, I, when I taught seventh grade, I had a first hour class of [00:36:00] all boys except one girl. Uh, I did survive that one somehow. It was, that one, I don't know how much they learned. Like, it was actually impossible. And also, we have to remember the dynamic of being a female teacher- Yeah

in that room. Not because I can't do my job, but I'm also self-aware, and sometimes that male authority figure with young boys does hit diff. Like, it just does. Yeah. And so anyway, but w- any- nonetheless, we persevered. I just was crashing out on those days on my way home. Um, anyway, so I took them, I would often take them for a walk, as you can imagine, because I was like- Right

we need to get outside because it's block schedule, lights on, no one's home, and the only light that's on is to rage bait each other, okay? 

Andrea: Right. Right. 

Molly: And so we went for a walk, and it was a, I have this little 10-minute loop around- ... the tennis courts, and within that time, things that I had to say were, "Put your shirt back on."

"You gotta keep your shirt on." [00:37:00] Um, they were, like, running off and hiding, and I was like, "I'm gonna lose a freshman. I'm gonna lose a freshman." Like, I felt like, I felt like I needed to put them on, you know the little daycare chains? 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Molly: That they use- They, like, have little handles- ... 

Andrea: to keep little- ... along the 

Molly: way

Yeah, not chains, but, like, leashes for, like, a group of preschoolers that go for a walk. Mm-hmm. I felt like I needed that. Um, gosh, what e- oh, one of them found a dead mouse and was flinging it, had it on a stick- Naturally ... and was flinging it. Right. So then they started flinging it at each other, and I was truly being, like, corralling them.

I was literally corralling them like this away from the mouse. It was crazy. Amazing. And then they were huddled around a dead locust. They were very fascinated with the locust. Yeah. Um, all looking at it. Yeah. Uh, what else did they do? Yeah, there was a lot happening. Yes, Gerry? 

Gerry: What's a locust? 

Molly: Oh. Never heard of it?

So you've never read the 

Andrea: Bible? 

Gerry: Look, man. It's sweet. I, I, I've read- I wouldn't have known either ... I've read, look, I read the Bible. I don't, I don't, [00:38:00] not recalling every, every little thing, you know? Like, I mean, they had loaves and fish and stuff. Now I know what that is. It's what 

Andrea: Paul ate was- 

Molly: Was it like a plague, I think?

Andrea: It's like a 

Gerry: cicada. Look, man, I don't remember what he was eating. I know- 

Andrea: It's like a grasshopper 

Molly: But it, they live in the trees, and they're super loud at night. Yeah. When the sun starts going down, like outside, I'll try to take a video tonight, that's all you hear outside are the locusts. Oh, they're 

Gerry: the ones that like, eee.

I, I tried to do it. I can't do it. 

Molly: Yeah. Do it again. Yeah, it's like a... 

Gerry: No, no, I'm scared. Go ahead. Give it a shot. No, I feel, no, I feel shame. 

I feel shame. 

Molly: We'll, we'll clip it. It's not that. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: I don't know how to do it. I, I feel like- That was- ... it's like a, isn't like a really fast, like 

da, 

da, da, da, da, da, da?

Molly: Yeah, but really high, like a bell. 

Gerry: Da, 

Andrea: da, da, da. You crushed it. Yeah. Um, w- we have a lot more cicadas here 

Gerry: in- Cicadas. That's the brothers I'm thinking of [00:39:00] 

Andrea: Okay, those are fat. Locusts are like grasshoppers. 

Gerry: I will never see 

Molly: them. Wait I'll just hear them ... maybe we have cicadas. 

Andrea: You- 

Molly: Maybe I was talking about cicadas

Andrea: I don't know what you got Hold on. Look up a picture Locusts 

Molly: verse ci- 

Andrea: Cicadas are like big fat boys, and locusts 

Molly: look like- Which are the ones that make the- Yeah. I know cicadas are ... the noise? 

Gerry: Cicadas. 

Molly: Oh, guys, it's the cicadas. That's what I 

Andrea: meant. Okay, great. Okay, great. So what's a locust? Well, a locust- Like a fish or something?

looks like a grasshopper. Google it, man. It looks like a grasshopper but yellow-ish. Cicadas have straw-like piercing, sucking mouth parts, ugh- I hate that ... used to drink plant and tree sap, and they go to sleep for, like, a long time. 

Gerry: Oh, hold on. This locust look like, like a, um- 

Andrea: Grasshopper? 

Gerry: Nah, it looks like if, if like a praying mantis was on SWAT team 

Andrea: Or like a grasshopper.

Okay, great. 

Gerry: Oh. 

Andrea: Now we've got that one sussed out. Okay. So you had to do all that. What were some of the answers we got from the larger [00:40:00] population about kindergartner versus high school? 

Molly: I cannot tell you how many responses said, "Keep your damn hands to yourself." Keep your hands to yourself. It's constant.

Yeah. It, it is constant. I mean, it- my junior boys last year couldn't stop messing- Yeah ... with each other. It was crazy. Uh, so keep your hands to yourself, like stop touching each other, by far the biggest one. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Molly: Um, another big one was don't put that in your mouth. Like, don't eat the glue stick. Don't eat crayons.

Stop poking each other with your pencil. Right. I mean, all those things, which someone commented today and said, um, some of my f- I had to stop football boys from eating crayons once. So, huh, 

Andrea: future Marines right there. Chris 

Gerry: Thomas. They would probably really good at football too. 

Molly: Yeah. Um, then let's see.

Another one was, uh, oh, like get a bubble. Like, I've said that to my high schoolers. 

Andrea: Get a bubble as in like catch a bubble? Like shut up? [00:41:00] Catch 

Molly: a bubble. 

Andrea: Yeah, catch a bubble. I've said that- Yep ... to my own children, the ones whom I've birthed, but it never works because then they start going like this. Oh. It's different.

And I'm like, "That's not-" That's, that's- 

Molly: Again, 

Gerry: it took 

Molly: me a minute ... 

Gerry: that's feels bo- boomer AF. 

Andrea: Really? They never said that when I was in school- Catch a bubble? ... so I don't think it was boomer. Me either. Yeah. They never said catch a bubble. I'll... I think it's cute. You don't like it, Gerry? Nah, it's- Gerry, how do you get your students to shut up?

Gerry: If I'm telling them to be quiet, I'm ... I tell 

Andrea: them to shut up. You never 

Molly: worked at summer camp. You never worked in a daycare, and it shows. 

Andrea: Clearly, yeah. You never worked at the YMCA. 

Gerry: I'm not working, I'm not working with, with little kids. Little kids aggravate me 

Andrea: I mean, working with little kids is how I really discovered that working with high schoolers was for me because I- Same

that I would babysit and I made children cry because I was, like, joking with them. I was, like, trying to riff and they cried 'cause I was apparently mean. 

Molly: My kids are gonna grow up and be cool 

Andrea: I know 

Gerry: Obnoxiously 

Andrea: Okay, but Gerry- And so it'll be quiet ... I have to tell you, that sound [00:42:00] you just made is gonna make you such a good dad 

Gerry: Oh.

Andrea: That sound you just made, shh, shh, shh, shh, that is what you do when a baby is fussing because it sounds like the womb. So ironically, maybe- The womb makes noise? Oh, it's very noisy. Well, yeah, it's like a, like- They got like white noise in the womb ... there's like bubbles and sound. Literally, that's why white noise mis- machines are a thing, is because the noise is very noise- the womb is very noisy.

And so like shh, shh, shh, shh. Like, that's what I would do with my kids when I was trying to get them to sleep, is shh, shh, shh. 

Molly: Well, think about it. They can probably hear... Have you ever put your ear to like... I don't know, really, okay, they can probably hear like the heartbeat- Mm-hmm ... and stuff is like moving.

There's a lot happening in there. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: I don't know. I ain't put my ears down there. So you're ready to 

Andrea: be a dad already. 

Gerry: I listen to, I listen to beehive sounds when I go to sleep. 

Andrea: Huh. 

Molly: That's a new one. I've never heard that one before. 

Gerry: It's good, man. 

Molly: Hey, you know what I was gonna say about your noise? I freak out.

That that sounds like a s- a [00:43:00] cicada kind of. Shh, shh. 

Gerry: Oh, sh- yeah. 

Andrea: It does, actually. Yeah. 

Molly: Yeah. Now you can listen to cicada noises going to sleep. 

Andrea: Yeah. Okay. Do we have any hills we're gonna die on today? 

Molly: All right. The hill I'm gonna die on, just because it's right here, is that the Cherry Diet Coke is better than Cherry Coke Zero.

Andrea: Okay. 

Molly: Regular Coke, obviously Coke Zero tastes like regular Coke. Like, well, obvious- kind of. S- you know, it's supposed to imitate it- Uh-huh ... more than Diet Coke. So while Cherry Coke Zero is good, sometimes Coke Zero kinda has that sweeter flavor, so you add the cherry and it's sometimes, like, too sweet, but you get this.

Diet Coke is, like, a cleaner taste, but with the cherry, it's, like, the perfect amount of, like, a little sweet flavor with the clean flavor of the Diet Coke. I love it. I think this is the correct fridge cig. 

Andrea: I love it. Yeah. Thank 

Molly: you. 

Andrea: That's a good one. Gerry, did you have... Gerry, are you well? 

Gerry: Molly, I love you.

That was dumb. [00:44:00] That was stupid. Cherry Diet Coke, I'm going, eh. 

Andrea: Not sponsored, by the way, 

Gerry: guys. Like, 

Andrea: no, that's

Molly: stupid, man. Yeah. Oh my God, I feel like I'm talking to a freaking high schooler. God, dude. 

Andrea: Gerry, did 

Molly: you have 

Andrea: something you 

Molly: wanted to contribute? You have a, yeah, you have a hill to die on in weeks. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: Yeah. 

Andrea: Where's your hill? 

Gerry: Don't, don't give a shit. 

Molly: Except about mine. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: Yeah. That's the hill. No. If you ain't quiet, I'm a very judgmental person.

I have hate in my heart. 

Molly: Some people just don't wanna work these days. Get your ass up and work. Mm. Who 

Andrea: said 

Molly: that? Who said that, though? I don't know. 

Gerry: Was that Devil Wears Prada? 

Molly: No, who said that? 

Andrea: Was not K- uh, no, it was, um- Donald Trump It was Kim K ... Kim 

Molly: Kardashian 

Andrea: It was Kim K. 

Molly: Sorry that I cursed 

Andrea: Yeah, you 

Molly: shouldn't have cursed That was very 

Gerry: different.

Andrea: The audience loves it when you curse. There was apparently- Everybody? ... an episode where you didn't curse and people got upset. No, not you, Gerry. For real? Yeah. Look at the YouTube [00:45:00] comments, man. 

Molly: Okay, but I, I'm a t- I don't wanna get in trouble at work. 

Andrea: I was like, "I don't think she curses that much," but someone's like, "Where was cursing Molly?

We love cursing Molly." And I was like- 

Molly: Oh, if they think that's cursing Molly, ooh 

Andrea: Ugh. 

Molly: I gotta rein 

Andrea: it in. All right, guys. Um, that was a beautiful hill to die on, and I love it. My hill to die on is that, um, if you send something gross to me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, whatever it is, and you have your actual name on there, I am going to go into your following list, I'm going to find someone whose n- name, last name is the same as yours, and I'm going to screenshot what you sent me, and I'm going to send it to them.

I don't know if that's a hill so much as a promise, but I will do that every single time, and I want you to know that. If you are like, "My name is John Smith," and I go into your following list and Mrs. John Smith is right there And you DM'd me asking for feet pics, I'm going to screenshot that and I'm going [00:46:00] to send that to Mrs.

John Smith. And I don't care if that is your mother or your wife, the people in your life should know that you suck 

Gerry: I didn't know you meant something gross like that, and I picked up my phone to send you a picture of this scab that peeled off my leg yesterday 

Andrea: Gerry, don't send me pictures of your scab.

I'll send that to your mother as well 

Gerry: You promise? 

Andrea: Don't send me the picture. Gerry's like, "I'm just gonna find gross pictures now to send you." 

Gerry: Yeah, nah See? You can be getting pictures 

Andrea: of toes He's like, "I didn't know this was an 

Molly: option." 

Andrea: He's like, "I don't wanna go through the work of sending this to all of my friends and family.

I'm gonna send it to Andrea, and then out of spite- That shows you- ... she's gonna send it to everyone else." 

Molly: I didn't know we were talking about that kind of gross. 

Andrea: Gerry. I- 

Molly: It's awesome. Gerry. Oh no, we got it. No, wait.[00:47:00] 

Andrea: I need everyone to know he sent it, and it was so long and stick-like, and it upsets me so much. And I hate it. 

Molly: Why'd you take that off him? There's blood on his fingers '

Gerry: Cause I had therapy for the first time. I'm sitting there, I got... It's like I'm getting right now, I'm tweaking from sitting still so long, and I just start picking at the scab.

And the whole time he's talking, I'm pulling the scab off and just, like, trying not to flinch 

Andrea: Okay. So Gerry, can we send that to the editors so that we can show it right now? 

Gerry: Like, put a picture up of the scab? 

Andrea: Yeah. We're gonna... Yeah. You sent it to... We have to see it. This is an audio podcast Yeah We need people to be on YouTube.

You know? They need to check it out Yeah, it's, I- Okay, great. So I'm gonna send that to our editors so they can share it with the world. There's a lot to unpack there. And on that note, I think we're gonna wrap it for today, um, because I, uh, feel a little sick and I still have to make my kids [00:48:00] dinner. So what a treat for all of us.

Um, hey, so thank you listeners for withstanding today. Um, what a journey we've all been on together. Um, if you haven't left a review yet, this feels like a weird time to ask for it, but do that- ... um, and subscribe and comment and share us with someone else. Maybe not this episode necessarily, but maybe, like, another episode that was your favorite perhaps.

Um, and if you wanna check out the full video episodes, they're gonna be up on YouTube, so you can see Gerry's scab- Yeah ... which is something I just said out loud. Um- So if you wanna check us out, um, I'm @EducatorAndrea, and Gerry is @

Gerry: ComedybyGP 

Andrea: And Molly is 

Molly: miss.dugan1 

Andrea: Beautiful, and if you wanna contact the whole Human Confa- blah, Human Content Podcast family, you can do it @humancontentpods.

Um, and, uh, thank you so much for listening. [00:49:00] I'm your host, Andrea Forkham. 

Gerry: I'm Gerry Patoka. 

Molly: And I'm Molly Dugan. 

Andrea: Our executive producers are Andrea Forkham, Aron Korney, Rob Goldman, and Shahnti Brooke. Our editor is Andrew Sims. Our engineer is Jason Portizo. Our music is by Omer Ben-Zvi. To learn more about How to Survive the Classroom's program, disclaimer, and ethics policy and submission, verification, and licensing terms, you can go to podcasterandrea.com.

How to Survive the Classroom is a Human Content production. 

Theme: How to Survive the Classroom

Andrea: Thank you so much for watching. Want more of How to Survive the Classroom? You can watch more episodes right now. Just click on that little box over there. You see it? And if you haven't yet, please subscribe. Okay, bye.

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