Welcome Back To School

Andrea: [00:00:00] What are the biggest mistakes a first-year teacher can make? 

Gerry: The comment section. 

Andrea: Gerry, this is a pro teaching podcast, sir

Theme: To survive the classroom Hey, teacher 

Andrea: besties. I am so excited to share with you that my book, They Never Taught Us That, is available right now. It is everything an experienced or first-year teacher needs to manage the chaos of a modern classroom, including some anecdotes to make you feel a little bit better, because if there is a way that you can screw up, I've probably done it.

It also has advice on how to build trust with families, how to manage grading and lesson plans and IEPs and everything else that they never went over in your teacher prep program. They Never Taught Us That is available everywhere right now.

Hey, teacher besties. Welcome to How to Survive the Classroom. I'm Andrea [00:01:00] Forkham. 

Gerry: And I'm Gerry Patoka. 

Andrea: And Gerald, Gerald, Gerald joined us today. What is on your face, Gerry? 

Gerry: I got my nose pierced. 

Andrea: Yeah? 

Gerry: Yeah. 

Andrea: You did. That was a choice that you made. 

Gerry: Look, you hatin' on me so hard, but I mean, I got like... And look, I, I'm looking out my window right now, and there's like, I- women around the block.

Andrea: Around the block? 

Gerry: Kn- Yeah ... knocking on the door. They're like out there. They got signs. They're like, "We love your piercing." Yeah, that's crazy. Like, they even spelled it right and everything. 

Andrea: Crazy. 

Gerry: It's- 

Andrea: Yeah. They spelled piercing right? 

Gerry: Well, you know, it's a tricky one. 

Andrea: Is it? I didn't know that one. 

Gerry: I'm gonna go out there, I'm a go out there and, and let them know.

Andrea: You're gonna let them know with y- I'm... With 

Gerry: the whole cans. 

Andrea: With the whole cans? What are you gonna do with the whole cans, Gerry? 

Gerry: I'm a just go out there and be like 

Andrea: To the ladies? No Oh, you're gonna like- Yeah, with my nose piercing in ... like a g- like a gorilla does when they're trying- Yeah ... to like flirt with a lady.

Gerry: Yeah. 

Andrea: Interesting choice. Okay, um, Gerry, before we go on too far into [00:02:00] this, we need to discuss about, other than your news pi- no, news piercing, your nose piercing, your news. Because we left it on a cliffhanger. We didn't know what the deal was. We didn't know if you were gonna pass, if you were gonna be able to teach next year.

I, people are on the edge of their seats. My mom has been, like texted me, like all the time, like, "Do we know? Did Gerry pass all of his accreditation licensure stuff?" So tell the people. 

Gerry: Gerry did pass with flying colors. 

Andrea: Woo! 

Gerry: Gerry passed with some points to spare. 

Andrea: You Potoked it. 

Gerry: I found out before they told me.

My licensure program got the notification first, and they emailed me and said, "We've updated the scores. Congratulations." I'm like, "What? What was that now?" And I, I go in there, and it like gave me the official scores. Now I didn't like ace it, but- ... it was like you only had to get like half the possible points, and I got a good, I got a little bit more than that.

I, [00:03:00] I got like what they, I think is the average score. 

Andrea: Okay. Yeah, respectable considering- 

Gerry: Yeah ... 

Andrea: you had one hour to spare when you submitted it, I believe is what you said. 

Gerry: Yeah, now I'm still waiting on them to confirm my like recommendation and send over the final paperwork so I can apply for a license.

So I'm still on the clock, but passing that test put me in that... I, I said, "Hey, I've done everything." Yeah. I- now it's kind of just on them, so I've been making a lot of phone calls and everything like that. 

Andrea: Look at you, like a real licensed teacher. It's incredible. 

Gerry: I know. It's crazy. It took five years. I'm going my fifth year teaching, and I just, I just got legal.

Like I did it. 

Andrea: I love it. 

Gerry: Yeah. 

Andrea: Do you have advice for anybody that is gonna do the... Now what... I m- I keep on wanting to call it the Praxis. It wasn't the Praxis. What's it called? edTPA. edTPA. For all of our friends who are gonna have to do the same thing, do you have advice for them? 

Gerry: It's a beast. Like- ... you have to...

I didn't know you have to pay for it [00:04:00] before you can take it. And now most like programs have some sort of like guide for it. Like mine had one where you had to answer discussion board questions, and um, it kind of walked you through each rubric. There was 15 rubrics for mine. 

Andrea: Jeez. 

Gerry: And you're trying to score between one and five on every rubric.

I averaged a three, which is what they say, yeah, that's what you want if you're gonna pass. 

Andrea: Okay. 

Gerry: They're like, "Aim for a four, so you'll get a three," and I averaged a three on all of them. Like I think my scores for each... 'Cause the rubrics are split into tasks. So it's like one through five, six through 10, 11 through 15, and I got like 16, 15, 15 out of 25 for each one.

Gotcha It was, I did it in a lot shorter time. I think my turnaround time from buying the test to turning it in was like two weeks, and people spend months on it. Wow. So I Potoked it hard. 

Andrea: But you really did, and you said you were going to. You said you were gonna be able to do it, but- I said I was going to[00:05:00] 

even that little bit of panic, uh, that you had at the end, that's really what helped you lock in, I think. 

Gerry: Oh, you know what? I got to be 11:50, and I had probably 30 minutes of work left, so I missed. It didn't happen for me. I didn't get it done in time, and I go look it up and I'm like, "Wait, all my stuff is turning in Pacific Coast Time."

Andrea: Insane. 

Gerry: And I said, "Oh, word?" And I, and that saved my, saved me, as it really wasn't due until 3:00 AM. So I- Yeah ... took a little break, took a breath of fresh air, and then did my little victory lap. Finished it, turned it in, was in bed at like 1:15. 

Andrea: Wow, what an accomplishment. Proud of you. Glad that you're gonna be a licensed teacher.

Now, do you get a pay raise if you finish your edTPA, or it's just like you 

Gerry: w- you won't get fired? No, it's the same, but North Carolina just passed a budget, so there's a, word on the street is I'm getting a raise. I don't know what that is. Ooh. I try, I try not to look at it, 'cause I, I'm not, I don't wanna math up And I don't wanna get my hopes up 

Andrea: You don't wanna think about the math with it?

I'm 

Gerry: like, [00:06:00] maybe like, yeah, you getting the percentage. I'm like, yeah. Oh. Just I'll, I'll see what happens. I'm hoping we get a little back pay, though. Those are always nice when I don't see it coming. They hit me with like, they're like, "Yeah, here's a couple, like 500 extra dollars." I'm like, "Word." 

Andrea: Yeah. '

Gerry: Cause I need to go to the dentist.

Andrea: What's wrong? Why? 

Gerry: I, I feel, I, it's been a 

Andrea: minute. Oh, just in general you need to go because you haven't been in a while, or because you have a dental emergency? 

Gerry: It's starting to hurt a little bit. Like w- I, I get like pain when they- they're getting sensitive, and a couple of them feel a little, little, like just they need some, some, some, uh, some love and respect on them, but- 

Andrea: All right.

Interesting ... 

Gerry: I ain't been in. How old, how old are your kids? 

Andrea: Uh, my kids are six and eight. 

Gerry: Yeah, I don't know if I've been since they've been around. 

Andrea: Gerry, 

Gerry: guys- I think it's been seven years ... 

Andrea: everyone needs to message Gerry right now to go to the dentist. You are gonna need a root canal. You 

Gerry: are. I've never, I've never been to a dentist in Raleigh.

I moved to Raleigh in 2019. 

Andrea: Gerry, guys. 

Gerry: I've [00:07:00] never been to one here. I ain't been to one since I got here. 

Andrea: So- 

Gerry: Nah, I, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna need a root canal. 

Andrea: Yeah. You know how expensive- Do they hurt? Yeah. Also, they're- How 

Gerry: expensive are they? 

Andrea: Like $1,400 usually for one tooth. Nah. 

Gerry: But I have insurance, though.

I... Listen, I- 

Andrea: It's so cute that you think dental insurance is gonna do literally anything when it comes to getting a root canal. It's not 

Gerry: But is it like, can I just duck it and be like, they call- No ... 'cause I get calls still from when I had my kidney thing, and I'm like, "Nah." 

Andrea: Oh. Like can you just not pay your bill?

Is that what you're asking? Well, 

Gerry: hypothetically, 'cause I'm- Oh ... I'm not gonna do that. I'm a law-abiding citizen, but- 

Andrea: Well, right. Um, hypothetically, I know that, um, medical bills are, when they get sent to collections, are one of the only bills that don't count against your credit score. 

Gerry: Yeah. Yeah. 

Andrea: But I don't know that that's the case for dental.

I don't know if they count it as the same, which I don't know why they wouldn't, but I mean our... The [00:08:00] insurance doesn't count the same. Um- 

Gerry: I wanna just get like fake teeth, like dentures. 

Andrea: Got it. So you just want your- 'Cause 

Gerry: I have this theory that if you get dentures and you take them out, you can just run them through the dishwasher.

Andrea: Oh, Gerry. There's a lot to unpack there. And 

Gerry: maybe I can get like customizable ones or something. 

Andrea: That's a thought. 

Gerry: Yo, bro, listen, listen, listen. What if I got Spiderman teeth? 

Andrea: Please don't. Please, 

Gerry: please do not. What if I got teeth and each one was a little Hulk hand? 

Andrea: I hate the thought of that. I'm sure with AI we could probably create that, but let's just not instead of creating that.

Um, so I have to tell you, 'cause I just finished with my grandfather's 100th birthday party this last week. We went up there. This man, right, he is 100 years old. He was a small town doc for a good portion of his life. He and my grandmother had 12 kids. My mom's number six out of the 12. So he also had 39 grandkids and over 80 [00:09:00] grand- great-grandkids.

And so I, we, I mean, there was like probably 200 people at his birthday party, um, and it was wild, but I actually got to sit down and chat with him a little bit, like, before the party, which is, it was difficult because there were so many people who wanted to come and spend time with him. Um, but when I was chatting with him, he was talking about, um, the time when he was a teacher, because before he went in to becoming a doctor, he was a teacher, and I knew he had been a teacher for like s- like a couple years, and I knew he was like a math teacher.

Well, he told me he was actually a teacher for seven years, and when he was a teacher, um, he said that the reason he left, there were three reasons. The first reason, well, the two are very related. He got really angry at the pay scale because he, um, said that the pay scale was completely based off of the number of years of service and education level, not based off of the skill of the teacher, which is still the case, by the way, um, for most [00:10:00] places.

Most places are not like, that's the best teacher, therefore they make the most, and that really bugged him. And then the other reason was he really wanted to go to med school. Um, and so I chatted with him a little bit, and it was really wonderful to hear from him where he's like, "You know," he's like, "I only did it for seven years, but I loved it.

It was so much fun, and I had people talk to me like decades later about the influence I made on their lives as a, as a teacher and all of that." But I just, I thought that was really interesting that something that made him leave is a system that is still very much in place today. Um, and I've heard, like most unions in general really fight against that kind of a system where it is, like they don't like merit-based pay, and I don't even know if that's the correct descriptor of it, where it's like the better you are, the better your reviews are or your like test results are, the better pay you get.

So I would be curious, Gerry, what is your take? Do you think that it should be based on like performance of a teacher or based on years of [00:11:00] service or some mishmash between? 

Gerry: Year- years of service should count, I feel like. It's hard to tell with performance 'cause you could get, you could get a batch of kids that like the grade below you messed up and like you're trying to fix them so that you're just getting them back to par, and it's not if you're just basing off of one class, one teacher, like you're, you're taking a kid's whole education into, into like play there.

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: Whereas like, and then there could be like things like when COVID happened, that probably would've crushed a bunch of how, if teachers being paid on that 

Andrea: scale- Fair. Yeah ... 

Gerry: because it, it rocked the world. So there's things like that. But then, and then there's other ones like I'm an electives teacher.

They ain't looking at like my numbers and stuff. They don't care. 

Andrea: That's true. Yeah. 

Gerry: Uh, or they s- yeah, well, unless you're, unless you work at my school and you're listening, then yeah, I know you care. But- ... [00:12:00] it's like they, I'm not a tested subject, so it's like how, what, what's the criteria then for how we're evaluating a, an electives teacher or arts teacher or some, or even social studies?

'Cause I, I know here social studies isn't tested. I don't know that it is anywhere else. Or like a, we only test science in certain years. So it's like h- how are we stacking these subjects up against your math and ELA that are tested every year and that Or 

Andrea: Yeah 

Gerry: We all know who the admin in the state and everybody's looking at test scores.

Andrea: Right. Yeah. Well, and that's kind of what I, that was my pushback as well, was like, unfortunately standardized testing almost always only demonstrates the, um, the poverty level of the area. So if you're looking at test scores in certain areas that are more impoverished, generally speaking, test scores tend to be much, much lower.

But I was like, als- like, there, maybe there's like some nuance there where you could take into account other elements like [00:13:00] teacher observations or- 

Theme: Yeah ... 

Andrea: you know, fill-in-the-blank stuff. Um, but it, it was interesting because I do know a lot of people really, and I do think years of service should always count for something in jobs because I feel like every job you get a raise based on how long you've been there, and it's, you're like being rewarded for your long-term commitment, not just- Yeah

the immediate results of what you're doing. Um, so I think I'd be, I'd probably be a fan of something like that. Maybe something, maybe a bonus-based system that's based on performance, like increased pay for teachers always, but then also maybe some sort of increased, like, opportunity to reward teachers who are working really, really hard, um, and potentially motivate others who are, you know, maybe not really wanting to do the things.

Theme: Yeah. 

Andrea: Um, but also, okay, I have to tell you because I'm so excited 'cause this last couple months, I've told you guys I'm working on this teacher summit, um, that I'm doing with Indiana State University, [00:14:00] and it has been so crazy because I had, about a month and a half ago, I don't think I told you guys on here, but I was crashing out because we have all of our speakers like contracted to come.

They're really good speakers. Gaspar Randazzo, who's been on here and who's our buddy, um, and then, uh, the, uh, uh, Charles Fournier, who's been on the podcast before, who's my friend, and then, um, Matt Miller, who wrote the book, Ditch That Textbook, really incredible speaker, all these people, right? But the, the biggest cost for my conference then is the speaker fees.

And so we like sent the contracts out, we signed them, they signed them, and then we check and see how many people have registered for the conference, and there were 12 people. And I was like- Oh no I, we're, we can't pay any of them with 12 people signed up. We are screwed. Like, and so we went back and we're like, "Can we cancel?

Can we, like, shut it down?" And it was basically like, "No, you can't. You have to figure it out." So we went, and I went and literally, like, begged all [00:15:00] the departments at Indiana State. This is a huge shout-out to Indiana State, because it was June, which is the end of their fiscal year. And the way it works with a lot of budgets is they have, like, certain amount of money they're supposed to spend every year, and if you don't spend it, the university sweeps it, takes it back, right?

So I came knocking at exactly the right time and was basically like, "Do you have any money you wanna use to help support this conference?" And I was able to, like, cobble enough together. And so now the local teachers get to go for free, and we were able to, like, majorly discount the conference and everything.

And I'm so excited, 'cause it's gonna be like you get there, and there's gonna be mimosas and Bloody Marys and a red carpet where you take a picture in front of, like, the Teacher Talk Summit sign and a photo booth. And I'm... And, like, they've got, like, make your own lanyard stations at all of the tables. And so I'm really excited, and I think it's gonna be really good, and I'm hoping it'll be the first of many.

Um, but I just had to brag on Indiana State, because I was freaking out. I was like, "This is terrible," [00:16:00] and so embarrassing, 'cause this was a big swing, and then just everyone was like, "Hard pass." And, and now we have over 100 people coming. 

Gerry: So is Teacher Talk, did you come up with that? Or is that, like, are you hosting, like, a branch?

Okay, I didn't know if you were hosting, like, a branch of something else. 

Andrea: Yeah. So this- Okay ... Teacher Talk Sycamore Summit is, um, was, is basically my idea, and then I brought it to the university and some of my colleagues who are really, really, you know, established at the university, and they were like, "We could make this happen if you wanna do this."

And I was like, "Great, I don't know what I'm doing." And they're like, "That's okay. We'll figure it out." Um, and they, I mean, have just helped me so incredibly much. It's been so wild, because they've gone through and they've, like, a- called in favors, and we've gotten donors. And actually also, another shout-out, Ashley Flowers, who is the podcaster that does Crime Junkie and all of those, she is based out of Indianapolis.

So I called them and I was like, "Hey, can we get a [00:17:00] basket of just donations for a door prize?" And she sent me a massive box full of stuff. Um, so there's been just a lot of people coming through, and if we do it again next year, I'll have a full year to try and get grants and get funding and stuff, and so it should be less, uh, less of a heavy lift for the university.

But I am really excited. That's what I'm gonna be doing next week, so by the time this is out, I w- it will have already happened, and hopefully I'll just be, um, you know, super happy with how it went, because It's gonna be a lot. It's gonna be a lot and a lot of people, and hopefully, um, everyone has a good time.

And I keep on telling myself that I'm just hosting a party for, like, 100 people and it's fine. Well, 150, but 

Gerry: it'll be great. Y'all want to go again. I, I forgot to say I can't go. 

Andrea: Gerry was gonna come. I was. And 

Gerry: stay in my basement. 

Andrea: I, I, 

Gerry: true- I genuinely was gonna come, but I would have to, uh, leave my family vacation a day early, which I was thinking about doing, but I was like, "I wonder if I can get shows on either side."

And I [00:18:00] c- I couldn't line anything up. And I was like, I could still go, but, uh, it's like we're getting a bunch of my family to go and I, like, I, I don't wanna- 

Andrea: That's fair. 

Gerry: That's totally fair ... I feel like I miss enough stuff. So I was like, I don't wanna, don't wanna miss that. But I'll come next year. No, I was gonna say.

Yeah, I'll bring them. I'll bring my family. They can co- they can 

Andrea: come and- Yes, just bring your whole family. You guys can all stay at my house. It'll be great. 

Gerry: Yeah, that's the plan. 

Andrea: Um- 

Gerry: We're good. 

Andrea: Amazing. All right. We do have some fan questions that are very timely because, uh, as you guys are listening to this, it's probably the beginning of the school year.

So we are gonna get to those right after this quick break.

Have you ever wondered what I would say if my mother and my administrators weren't watching every single thing I do on social media? Well, that's exactly what my standup show is, and I'm gonna be coming to a town near you super soon. You can get tickets at educatorandrea.com/tickets

Welcome back teacher besties. Okay, so beginning of the [00:19:00] school year questions that I have for us today. Um, and this one is a little bit, um, of a sore spot for me because I screwed this one up so bad when I fir- it was a first-year teacher, but, um, what's the worst icebreaker for a teacher to use when they start out the school year is the first question.

Gerry: Oh, man. Um- 

Andrea: I can go first with mine 'cause- 

Gerry: Go first I 

Andrea: mean, 

Gerry: and 

Andrea: it's in- I, 

Gerry: I have a few ... 

Andrea: and it's in my book, and I've talked about it a little bit online, but two truths and a lie, uh, was one I remember doing when I was in high school, and I remember it just being fine, like everything was great. But then when I did it as a teacher, it was horrible because number one, the class sizes were over 30 people, and we're doing this one at a time.

And so that's gonna take literally the whole class, having everyone do two truths and a lie, where everyone's just like slowly guessing and waiting. And then immediately one of the kids in my class, um, decided it would be a really good opportunity to screw with me. And so he raises his hand, and this is a young Black man, and he's sitting there with [00:20:00] his little laptop open, and he raises his hand, and I was like, "Sure, if you wanna start us out."

So very first person, right, who's doing two truths and a lie for us. And he goes, "I'm on the football team, I play golf, and I applied to join the KKK." And I was like All right. Like trying to be like very stern, right? Because first day, right? And I was like, "All right. Obviously you didn't apply to join the KKK."

And he turned his laptop around and was like, "No, I did." And he showed me the email that he got from the local chapter of the Ku Klux Klan denying his entry into- That's 

Theme: crazy ... 

Andrea: their organization. And so then I was like, "Oh." And he's like, "Yeah, no, I don't play football." And I was like, "Okay." And then the, like the silence was so loud, and I was put in such an uncomfortable position because he tech- like, he did what he was asked.

He did it specifically to screw with me, and he's like, "I can't believe [00:21:00] they rejected me. Why do you think they rejected me?" 

Gerry: That's crazy. Insane. Do you have like a go-to for two truths and a lie, like things you say? 

Andrea: Yes, I do. Do you wanna do it? Do we wanna- Yeah, sure ... now 

Gerry: that 

Andrea: we've established 

Gerry: it? I don't have, I don't have a go-to.

I do have a thing that I always put in it, but sometimes I lie. Mm. I- they're either all lies or they're all true. 

Andrea: Well, that's not the game. 

Gerry: Yeah, I know, but- You can't- ... then like people would be guessing. They can be like, "No, that's a lie. You got it right." 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: Or, "I'm glad they're all true," but I just wanna see what people think I'm lying about.

Andrea: Okay. Do you wanna do it? Do you wanna do two truths and a lie? But you gotta actually do it. You've gotta actually do two truths and a lie. Don't cheat. 

Gerry: Daryl. Um, let's see. I, I gotta think 'cause I have one that I always include 'cause it's, it's outrageous. 

Andrea: Well, don't tell me that. You're not supposed to give me tips.

I'll do mine, and then we'll see if you- 

Gerry: Okay ... 

Andrea: if you know. Okay. Uh, I have, uh, been to 15 different countries. Um, [00:22:00] I have two uvulas, and I have completed a marathon 

Gerry: What's a uvula? 

Andrea: I knew you weren't gonna know. 

Gerry: It's the thing in the back of the throat? 

Andrea: Mm-hmm. 

Gerry: Okay, 'cause if it wasn't that, my next guess was- 

Andrea: Was something nasty, and it's not anything nasty.

I felt- I, I thought it was- I almost said, uh- 

Gerry: I thought it was a lady thing ... it's not a lady 

Andrea: thing 

Gerry: If it wasn't the, the, the little speed bag in the back of the throat. You do have two of those. You've told me that before. 

Andrea: Damn it. Okay, so that one's true. 

Gerry: The marathon's not true. 

Andrea: It is, actually. Damn, I did- I've not been to 15 countries.

I've been to 16. 

Gerry: I was like, "She probably has done the marathon," but then, um, I was like, "No, she wouldn't shut up about it if she had," and I'd never heard that before. 

Andrea: It's been a long time. It was, like, 10 years ago, so that's, that's- I'd 

Gerry: still be talking about it 

Andrea: It's actually funny, 'cause I was, I, my husband's family came over for my daughter's birthday, and one, and his, his dad was like, "Well, Andrea, you know, the marathon runner," and Steven's like, "All right.

It's been 10 years. She ran [00:23:00] one marathon" And I was like, I was like, "True, and I'm not doing it again, because my toenails fell off from running that marathon." Like, I got blisters underneath my toes, and then my toenails came off. So one was enough. I'm good. I'm all set. Um, but yeah, okay. Your turn. 

Gerry: Okay. I have, uh, played basketball on an NBA court.

I was present for a prison riot, and, um, I've met, uh, President Obama. 

Andrea: You have not met President Obama. 

Gerry: Yeah. 

Andrea: That's a lie. Damn. I knew 

Gerry: that, I knew that, yeah, I knew that was a lie. 

Andrea: Wait, why were you present for a prison riot? 

Gerry: So my grandpa... Let, let me preface. I'm, I'm gonna tell the story, but I do need to make sure I can talk about this on here, 'cause I don't know if I can.

So I'm gonna tell the story- 

Andrea: Okay ... 

Gerry: and then check with my grandpa and then say, "Hey, I talked about this. Is that okay? And if not, we need to cut this out." All right. But what happened was my grandpa is a, um, prison chaplain. [00:24:00] And we went for Easter Sunday, um, to, like, the church service, and as we're leaving, they start sounding a siren.

We see all the guards running. We're just kinda like, "What?" And when we're leaving, you go through, like, the visitation area- Yeah ... um, and there's, like, all these automatic doors, like, people are physically controlling to let you through and stuff, 'cause there's, there's, like, almost two or three layers to get in.

And- We're leaving, and, um, they, like, start coming out with, like, the gas canisters and stuff. And r- my grandma and the person with us, there was one or two people with us, they get out. Me and my grandpa are still in the visitation area, and they hand him the riot sp- like, uh, like, the thing full of gas and tell him to take it to them.

And- ... he, like, I'm in there, and I'm like, "What am I supposed to do?" 'Cause I thought I was having to go with them. I didn't know what was going on. And we- Yeah ... just kinda got stuck in there, and then they let me out, and he just, he was there. [00:25:00] And, um, we waited outside, and you could smell, like, they're, they're yelling, like, "If you come out or something, we, we have snipers, uh, if you come running out."

And, um, essentially, what had happened was they caught a guy with contraband, and when they confronted him, it just, people swarmed the guard, and the guard had to lock himself in a room. So they're- Oh my gosh ... throwing, um, like, the gas canisters into the dorm, and they're taking it and throwing it into the cell with him, and he's throwing it back outside.

So we could smell the gas and feel it running down our face. They walked out, they walked one officer out. He'd been stabbed, like, seven times, and, like- Ooh ... they have him all bandaged up and stuff, and they walked him right past us. 

Andrea: That's insane. That's actually crazy. I've a- I've never actually been into a prison that was in use.

I've been to, like, haunted prisons that are vacant and all of that, but, um, when my husband Steven was working at one of the local, uh, hospitals, they have a local prison that's, like, a long-term [00:26:00] max security prison. So they would have, some of the prisoners would end up going to the hospital for wha- I forget what they call it, like, um, some, like, a, a jail, what is it, jailbird vacation or something like that.

Basically, they get injured intentionally, so that way they can have a little bit of- Like when you- Mm-hmm, so they can have a little break. Yeah. But there was one time in particular that I went to dinner with all of the ER staff, and I was like, "What are some of the ways that they would injure themselves in order to get, like, their little vacation over to the, the hospital?"

And they said there are some that will take, like, a plastic utensil of some kind and sharpen it into, like, a, a shiv, and they will put it, um, up their urethra. 

Gerry: Nah, son. 

Andrea: Like- 

Gerry: No ... 

Andrea: up there, and then it gets lodged in there, and then it takes surgery to get out. Um, and that, and, and, like, on purpose, like, all the way up.

Up, up in that [00:27:00] Yeah Which is outrageous. Like I, I, there's gotta be a better way. Like just stabbing yourself in the leg maybe? I don't know. 

Gerry: Yeah. 

Andrea: Like up, up the urethra is a choice. That is not advised. 

Gerry: Put your arm through the barn or something like- 

Andrea: Ugh, ugh. All of it sounds like terrible. But there was also a time where my husband was working, it was like Christmas Eve, and they had all these fun little Christmas decorations around, and then he heard like this kind of like heavy jingling that sounded like jingle bells or something.

And so he looked, he was like looking around like, "Oh, did we have like a Santa person like showed up?" And it was one of the guys from the jailhouse, and he had heavy chains on, and Steven was hearing the guy walk around with his heavy chains. And I guess because the way they were like tinkling together, he was like, "Aw, it's-

it's bells." Yeah. And then it was like this max security probably murderer that was being brought in for some injury or something. But I was like, "Oh, yeah." My, one of my favorite things in the world is when I'm having dinner with someone who worked in the, [00:28:00] like in the ER or any kind of emergency services, and can tell me about like the gnarliest things that they've seen.

I love that stuff. I'm, I'm always just so excited to 

Gerry: hear 

Andrea: about that. We should get somebody on here. I mean, I know a lot. I know a lot a lot of, of medical folks. I mean, honestly, we ha- we had my mom on here, but we haven't had my dad yet. And my dad was a PA and he worked in the ER for a very long time.

And I know- Oh ... several of his are wild 

Gerry: I know somebody who I met, um, when I opened for y'all in Columbus. She taught in prison. She told me crazy stories 

Andrea: That would be fun. We should bring her on. Yeah. Yeah. Hit her up. See if she can come on. I would love to hear her prison teacher stories. I think that would be super, super fun.

Um, okay, moving on to the next question. Uh, what are the biggest mistakes a first-year teacher can make? 

Gerry: Become a teacher. 

Andrea: Gerry, this is a pro-teaching podcast, sir. 

Gerry: Yeah. 

Andrea: We're [00:29:00] sup- we're, uh, I think- 

Gerry: How many pro teachers do you know who were pro teacher? 

Andrea: I mean, I am- Who probably are like, "Nah, don't, don't do that.

Teach-" No. Uh, no. No, no, no. I- 

Gerry: Go get a real job ... 

Andrea: Oh my- Yeah. 'Cause yeah, 'cause you're, you're gonna get us canceled. Everyone just turn it off. They're like, "Gerry? Y- Gerry all of a sudden passes his edTPA, gets all smug about it." 

Gerry: Yeah. 

Andrea: No. Thinks he's, thinks he's something. Nah, I'm 

Gerry: official now. 

Andrea: I- Uh-huh ... 

Gerry: They- 

Andrea: Yeah

Gerry: Yeah. They let the chains loose. They let the, um... They, they let me off the leash. I'm free. 

Andrea: Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh, okay, I will say the advice I always give to my students that I work with that are transitioning from other career fields into teaching, so they are not licensed yet, but they are, like, doing the, the courses and stuff like that, I always tell them, "Do not coach your first year.

Even if you love it, even if you love the sport, even if you like all the different things, don't do it that first year. You can do it the second year if you survive the first." But the biggest [00:30:00] crash outs I've seen people have are because it's their first year, they already are overwhelmed and underwater, and then on top of that, they're coaching.

And usually if they have a first-year teacher coach, it's because the program is either not run super well or recently wasn't run super well, or you're filling in for somebody who, like, dipped last second. So it's, it's gonna be a huge responsibility. And I remember there was a girl I got hired with, and she became the swim coach, and they didn't have a pool at the school, so that meant that the kids would have to take a bus an hour each way to do swim practice.

That's- So she... Insane You 

Gerry: shouldn't have a swim PE if 

Andrea: you- You, you shouldn't. Like, objectively, you shouldn't. If you, if it's that inconvenient, then yeah, I really don't think you should. But she was doing it, and so sh- that meant, I mean, it was an hour there, an hour back, and then they would have practice for about 90 minutes.

So she wouldn't get home until, like, 8:00 every day And I just remember- That's sick, bro ... right, like I remember watching that and being like, "That's crazy." Like, for her to be expected to do all the [00:31:00] things she needs to do, and on top of it, coach swim. And that one doesn't even count the days that you would be doing swim meets, which are also very long days.

So that, to me, is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. Obviously, people, some people do it successfully, but I think it's, I think we need to do more to make it easier to be a first-year teacher. 

Gerry: What about, like, the teachers who become te- like, people who become teachers 'cause they wanna coach? 

Andrea: You shouldn't become a teacher because you wanna coach.

You should become a coach. Don't teach. Don't ruin a kid's education because you never got picked up for the NFL. That's actually, you know what? That's the hill I'm gonna die on today. If you became a teacher because you wanted to coach, stop teaching and just be a coach. Don't, don't, don't waste our time.

Don't waste the kids' time. Because everyone knows- Those- ... those guys, like, every single time, and then they become admin after a year and a half, and they sucked at teaching, and then they usually suck at admin. 

Gerry: That's why I became a teacher. 

Andrea: Well, you shouldn't have. 

Gerry: Well, I've, [00:32:00] I'm good at it. I'm, I'm crushing.

Andrea: You are good at it, but you're not even coaching, are you? No, you are now. You're doing basketball? 

Gerry: Yeah. Mm-hmm. 

Andrea: I am a little sad you're not here, uh, this next week, because my daughter got a basketball hoop for her birthday, and it's, like, regulation and all that, and I've been, I've been hooping it up. And let me tell you, I'm pretty good.

As long as no one is guarding me, I, I can play. 

Gerry: I'ma come. I'ma co- I, I, I really, I'ma come just one weekend while Andrew, I'm coming to your house One of these days I'm, I'ma come to... I'ma come. You should I'ma just come out there. I'ma, I'ma ball up on y'all. 

Andrea: You could try. 

Gerry: I'ma- 

Andrea: Yeah ... 

Gerry: I'ma, I'ma jump over your son.

Andrea: That would be, um, a sight to behold, for sure. 

Gerry: But no, so I, I start- it wasn't the only reason, but I knew if I was going to be teaching, I wanted to coach. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: And I started as a teacher assistant. I was there for three months, I me- and, like, joined midyear to help assistant coach basketball. My first year teaching, I coached football, basketball, track and field.

Andrea: I do think there's a difference for somebody [00:33:00] who has been in the classroom as a teacher's assistant or as a teacher, like, in a teaching capacity, and then becomes a first-year teacher. I do think there's a pretty big distinction there because for me, my first year teaching, my first day in the classroom when I had that kid do do the two truths and a lie, it was my first time being in charge of a classroom ever.

I never did student teaching, and I had never subbed before. And so for me, I was just trying to figure out, like, everything, whereas you, I feel like, had a bit of a leg up because you'd already been in the classroom, you already kinda knew the classroom management piece. Um, but I just feel like for so many people, it's so hard because it's so many...

Uh, even if you love it, it's just a huge amount of time that you are not in your classroom- Yeah ... and you are... A- a- and, like, especially if you've got kids, like, oh my gosh, like, that's a whole other thing. So yeah. Do you have something that 

Gerry: you- And it's also middle school. 

Andrea: Yeah. That's, it's- It's 

Gerry: not as, uh, commanding.

Like, our away games were going 20 [00:34:00] minutes. 

Andrea: Yeah. Yeah. And- I do think that's, that's pretty different just in 

Gerry: general ... we're done 5:30, 4:30. 

Andrea: Yeah. Um, do you have something that, uh, new teachers should not do? 

Gerry: Um, that was... So I put that on my Instagram stories. I wanted to do, like, a series on social media. I think, I think I texted you about this.

Andrea: I forgot 

Gerry: about 

Andrea: it. About... 

Gerry: Yeah About first year teaching thing. And I got, like, one thing of feedback on Instagram, and it was like, "Don't do anything else." It was kinda like what you said, like, don't coach, nothing like it, just, just try and get through. Just do it. Yeah. Do what you gotta do in the building, and then go home.

Like, when you leave, be done. Um- Yeah ... 'cause I'm bad about putting grades, and I'll end up saying, "I'll just do it tonight." I'll never do it. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: So, like, do everything in the building. Don't, don't take it home with you. 

Andrea: Yeah. I would agree with that. It, it is, and it's hard your first year too, because time management is really difficult, and it's so many different things you feel like you have to do.

Like, [00:35:00] you have, you feel like you have to have your classroom open so kids can eat lunch in there. Or you feel like you have to go and hang out with your colleagues. But then if you do, you're not gonna have time to do all the grading. And so for every teacher that I talk to, I know they have kind of a different way that they balance it.

So when I was, um, teaching, uh, it was just 9th and 10th grade English, I would come in 45 minutes early every day. And so that gave me time to catch up on grading, to prep for the day, to do all of that, and then I left, like, as soon as contract hours were over because I had to go and pick up my kids, and then would sometimes grade at, at home.

Gerry: Yeah, I get there, like, five minutes late. I kinda 

Andrea: just 

Gerry: do what 

Andrea: I want. Oh, Jerry. Yeah. Well, I mean, you got, you finished your edTPA now, so they're lucky to have you, obviously. 

Gerry: Well, let's... Also, there's, uh, any advice I give, probably take with a grain of salt- ... 'cause they're not me. Like- No, 

Andrea: he's, he's licensed, guys.

He's got his edTPA done, so he is the GOAT, actually. 

Gerry: Yeah, but I'm, uh, all the advice I'm gonna give is gonna come from a place of I do Patoka everything. Like- [00:36:00] 

Andrea: Yeah, it's also coming from a place of a grown man who has just gotten a nose piercing. So I feel like that's also an important caveat for people to remember.

Gerry: It looks good. I have Hulk hands. I've got spider people behind me. Okay. 

Andrea: Yeah. That's definitely adding to the allure. 

Gerry: I have art. Look, look, art. 

Andrea: Is, what is that one, actually? Guys, he's got, like, some, like, an Ali poster, a Marvel poster, but then he actually does have what looks like actual art. What is that? I 

Gerry: do have art.

Andrea: Share with the class. It's just a 

Gerry: house. 

Andrea: Did you paint it? 

Gerry: No. I found it at Goodwill. Where'd you 

Andrea: get it? Oh, you just liked it? 

Gerry: Anything that's kinda funny, I used to buy at Goodwill. Oh, I'll, I'ma send you pictures of the stuff that I used to have hanging up I'm, I'm just gonna get rid of 'cause I, I was just, I went through a phase where I just bought stuff.

I got, um, another little thing up there that's like made out of, uh, like, felt or something, and it's, like, a skyline that's pink and green 

Andrea: Guys, he's cultured I 

Gerry: like, I, I, I am cultured. I have a nose ring 

Andrea: He's cultured. He's got a nose ring. He's single and ready to [00:37:00] mingle, and he has, for some reason, a very- 

Gerry: Yeah, you can hear that, Denver?

Andrea: very tiny door directly behind you that, who knows what's in there? 

Gerry: Yeah. We got a bunch of cabinets and stuff. 

Andrea: Oh, okay. 

Gerry: Not, well, not a cabinet. We call it a little cubby- A cubby? ... or space. Yeah. For... Is it, is it a fort? I got

my speaker in 

Andrea: there. Be honest. It's a fort. You've got a fort. 

Gerry: No, there ain't no insulation in it. It's hot. 

Andrea: Gotta protect yourself. 

Theme: Yeah, I ain't cleaning my 

Gerry: room. 

Andrea: So, uh, this is coming out early August, so most of you guys are gonna be heading out to school and all of that soon. But guess what? If you're in San Diego, I have a show there, like, very, very soon.

I am going to be, um, down in San Diego doing my show on August 4th. So, uh, you need to come. It's gonna be amazing. I'm really, really excited. I actually have a former student that is going to be hosting for me that night, um, which I'm very excited about. And then I'm gonna be with the Teachers' Lounge in Boston.

We're gonna be doing The Wilbur, which is a theater which is so exciting, on August 15th, and then we're gonna be in Rhode Island August 16th. We're going to [00:38:00] Denver for the first time September 5th, and then Salt Lake City September 6th, Columbus and Cincinnati October 24th, 25th, and then Charlotte and Raleigh November 7th and 8th.

And Gerald is gonna be joining us for those, so- 

Gerry: I will be doing Charlotte and Raleigh. I will also... I can add mine, right? I'm trying to get this date booked. 

Andrea: Yeah, please do. 

Gerry: I'll be featuring for our friend Gasper on Tuesday, uh, August 4th in Raleigh at Goodnight's Comedy Club, and in Charlotte on August 5th, which is a Wednesday, at the comedy club at Duckworth's.

You 

Andrea: guys gotta come out. It's gonna be good times. I'm super excited. It's gonna be very fun to get back into the saddle with Teachers' Lounge and doing shows. We've had a little break because our buddy Phil, um, welcomed a new baby. But now we are gonna be back at it. So yeah, I think that's all we've got for you guys today.

Thank you so much for listening. Um, if you have [00:39:00] thoughts about what we talked about today, you can contact us, andrea@human-content.com. You can contact me at Educator Andrea, and you can contact Gerry at- 

Gerry: I'm on Instagram and TikTok at comedybygp. 

Andrea: Yeah. So go tell him what you think about his nose ring. You can contact the whole Human Content Podcast family at humancontentpods.

Um, and you can check the full video episodes up every single week at Educator Andrea. Thank you so much for listening. I'm your host, Andrea Forkham. 

Gerry: I'm Gerry Patoka. 

Andrea: And our executive producers are Andrea Forkham, Aron Korney, Rob Goldman, and Shahnti Brooke. Our editor is Andrew Sims. Our engineer is Jason Portizo.

Our music is by Omer Ben-Zvi. To learn more about How to Survive the Classroom's program disclaimer and ethics policy and submission, verification, and licensing terms, you can go to podcasterandrea.com. How to Survive the Classroom is a Human Content production. 

Theme: Had to survive the classroom

Andrea: Thank you so much for watching. Want [00:40:00] more of How to Survive the Classroom? You can watch more episodes right now. Just click on that little box over there. You see it? And if you haven't yet, please subscribe. Okay, bye.

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