Why Colonoscopies Are Underrated

Molly: [00:00:00] One of the girls in my homeroom was like, "What's up with your shirt?" And I was like, "What do you mean?" She was like, "Well, what's up with your armpit?" And I was like, "Oh, crap," like, and I went to feel. The whole thing was ripped. So then I felt the other one, and I was like, same thing, I Hulked out of it. I literally, like, Hulked out of my shirt, and it was ripped

Theme: To survive the climb 

Andrea: Hey, teacher besties. I am so excited to share with you that my book, They Never Taught Us That, is available right now. It is everything an experienced or first-year teacher needs to manage the chaos of a modern classroom, including some anecdotes to make you feel a little bit better, because if there is a way that you can screw up, I've probably done it.

It also has advice on how to build trust with families, how to manage grading and lesson plans and IEPs and everything else that they never [00:01:00] went over in your teacher prep program. They Never Taught Us That is available everywhere right now

Hey, teacher besties. Welcome to How to Survive the Classroom. Today is a very special day because we have our good friend Gerry here, as always. Gerry, say hello. 

Gerry: Yo. 

Andrea: Yep, he's still Gerry. Um, but here's the thing, guys. I was like, I think that this podcast is more of a throuple situation. And we needed a plus one.

And so everybody really, really loved it when we had Miss Molly Dugan on. And so Molly is here with us again, and now is going to be a permanent part of this podcast. Molly, welcome. 

Molly: Woo. I'm so excited. 

Andrea: We- 

Molly: I'm back home ... 

Andrea: man, we could not be more delighted. This is 

Molly: where I belong, guys. 

Andrea: I know. Do you wanna give, like, a very short summary of who you are, in case anybody missed your last episode with us, like, what [00:02:00] grades you teach, where you're from.

Mm-hmm. All that good stuff. 

Molly: Heck yeah. Um, well, if you missed that episode, stinks for you. You need to go back and watch it, 'cause you might get some good medical advice from Andrea and I. But, uh, I know, Gerry did. Um, but I am a high school teacher. I teach ninth grade and 11th grade English, and I taught middle school for five years, so dabbled in that realm as well.

And that's literally it, dude. That's- That's it ... I'm a teacher. I'm a teacher- Yeah ... and I post videos and, and now I'm a podcast host. Yeah, from 

Andrea: Kansas City. 

Molly: Yes. Oh, there's other info about me. Yeah, I'm from Kansas City too. 

Andrea: Yeah. Also, you bake bread, which I did not know, and then when I posted that we hung out, they're like, "Did she give you bread?"

And I was like, "Is that a euphemism? What's happening?" 

Molly: Yeah. You didn't. Maybe they were calling me out for being a bad host. I don't know. I 

Andrea: mean, probably, yeah, 'cause you didn't give me bread. Next 

Molly: time I'll bring bread. Thank you. I'll bring bread next time, yeah. 

Andrea: I 

Molly: appreciate 

Andrea: that. 

Molly: Listen, last time we hung out, I was opening for your comedy show, and I was, like, [00:03:00] pooping my pants, so I didn't have time to bake bread 'cause I was nervous.

Andrea: That's very fair. So. Um, speaking of shows and comedy, I just have to tell you guys, I yesterday hosted the first ever Teacher Talk Sycamore Summit. 

Molly: I 

Andrea: saw 

Molly: that. 

Andrea: Which, let me... Guys, I, like, because I've done stuff, like, on stage with comedy and I had my book and all of that, I wasn't really sure how I was gonna feel when it was all said and done at the end of this summit.

So just for anybody who's unaware, this summit was, like, everyone showed up, and there was mimosas and Bloody Marys and a picture booth and, um, like a, like a little, like, red carpet area for people to take pictures, and then every table had lanyard making supplies, so they could make their own teacher lanyard.

Um, and then our opening keynote speaker was Gaspar Randazzo. 

Molly: I saw that. 

Andrea: So the vibes couldn't have been better. [00:04:00] I mean, it 

Molly: was- I wanna be 

Andrea: in that PD ... it was incredible. And immediately Gasper's, like, bullying the administrators as he, as one does. Um, and I mean, every, every part of the day went off without a hitch.

It was so fun, it was hilarious, and it was really also very fun because if anyone has seen Gasper do his set, they know that he uses, um, some adult language, I would say, in his set. Um, and it, it was fascinating to watch him do a clean set in front of all of these teachers. Still hilarious, still so good.

Um, and afterwards, I think I felt more accomplished by doing that conference than I've felt about si- like, probably since I got my doctorate is probably the last time I felt as accomplished as I did after, like, do- like, doing the conference and having all of the teachers be like, "This was really fun. How do I make sure I'm on the list to be notified when this happens again?"

Molly: And 

Andrea: I've [00:05:00] never, like, I did it. I did it, and I've be- I've been really bad about not celebrating when I've done something really cool, so I'm celebrating this. Like, I'm so proud. 

Molly: No, we're gonna pause and we're gonna celebrate. 

Andrea: Thank you. Come 

Molly: on, round of 

Andrea: applause. Thank you so much. Thank you. 

Molly: That's amazing. 

Andrea: I deserve it.

It was awesome and- Yeah, you do ... I'm delighted. Could not have been happier with how it went, and, um, it immediately got my brain thinking about next year, I really, I've talked about it on the podcast, I really wanted a rage room at the, um, conference. I couldn't get it done this year because of funding, but next year I'm gonna have enough time to get grants and stuff, and that's my goal, is that to have one room with therapy dogs and another room that's a rage room is, is what's hopefully gonna happen.

Dude, you thought of it all. I know. 

Gerry: So next year when I come, can I help facilitate the rage room? 

Andrea: I think that I would have to pay for a specific company to come in- Nah ... and run the rage room. I don't think they- 

Gerry: Nah, I'm, I'm... Nah, I'll be breaking stuff. Oh. I'll just wear my jorts. 

Andrea: Are those, just so we're clear, [00:06:00] are jorts the, a proper equipment for a rage room?

I think you get hurt. Is that just what people wear? 

Gerry: If you a gangster, they are. 

Andrea: Oh, okay, got it. Got it, got it, got it. Yeah, nah. 

Gerry: That's what 

Molly: the kids do, clock it. 

Andrea: Yep, cl- 

Gerry: Clock it. Yeah, nah. 

Andrea: I'm officially too old for that. I don't, I can't say clock it. I tried in my New Orleans show to say clock it, and I did this, and, like, the way that that group rejected me, just spiritually- 

Gerry: Yeah, them 13 people made fun of you, didn't they?

Andrea: They, all 13 looked really offended by me- ... trying to even do that. And even as I do it now, I can see how uncomfortable it is for all of us for me to be doing it. I just, at that time in my life- 

Molly: I feel uncomfortable too ... if you guys... 

Andrea: Yeah, it doesn't, it's not great. Yeah, but you're still, you're still youth.

You're still young enough that you could probably get away with it. And Gerry too, 'cause he's just but a babe. 

Molly: I feel like I don't hold up though. So yeah. Like, imagine me in front of my kids, I do it, and they're gonna be like, "No." 

Andrea: Yeah, they'll, they will 

Molly: hate it. "It's unhip for you." 

Andrea: There have been definitely times where I've hated a [00:07:00] trend so much that I've decided to make it a class activity in order to kill it.

Mm-hmm. Have you guys ever done that, where the students are, like, doing fill in the blank thing, right? That they're like, "Wow, this is, like, the funniest, coolest thing." Like, it, like Six Seven, I would probably have found a way to incorporate Six Seven into a class activity. Or, um, do you guys remember dabbing?

Molly: What the hell did you do with dabbing? What the hell did you do with that? 

Andrea: We, I made it, I made it like, like every time a student got something correct, they had to dab. They had to do it. 

Molly: And- But then wouldn't they just not try to answer? 

Andrea: No, they still, they, they would do it, but then like, it was like this weird, 'cause they wanted to dab anyways, right?

And so then they would do it, but then they're getting it as like a reward, and they just, it was a real mixed bag. Um, but the best part was is then other kids would like dab at them, and then they would have to think about English class every time they dabbed, and it eventually did kill it. So sometimes you gotta work smarter.

[00:08:00] I 

Gerry: feel, I feel like six-seven would be a good attention grabber. 

Andrea: You just go, "Six." You 

Gerry: just go, "Six," and they go, "Seven." Seven. Yeah. 

Andrea: And everybody's 

Gerry: listening to you. 

Andrea: There you go. Start it. I mean, are, are you, 'cause you're, you've got like some year-round situation, Gerry, so I can never keep track. Are you at the beginning of your school year, or where are you right now?

Gerry: We start work days Tuesday. 

Andrea: Okay. I feel like you're constantly finishing or starting a whole new semester. I don't understand how your 

Gerry: school 

Andrea: works. I 

Gerry: like it. It, it's like we have like three weeks really of just where we're in the thick of it, and the rest is like we're taking off or we're landing the plane.

Andrea: That's- 

Gerry: I love it ... 

Andrea: interesting. So how long- I could see that ... like how long of a time do you have with your students total? Like how many weeks? 

Gerry: Like, uh, for the school year? 

Andrea: Yeah. So like with the same set of students. 

Gerry: It's the same. It's still 10 months. 

Andrea: But just split 

Gerry: up. Oh, with the same set of students.

Since I do electives, sixth graders I got every quarter. So every time we came back from break, I had new sixth grade students. And eighth graders [00:09:00] every semester, so every half year. And then I, but I think now it's gonna be every nine weeks we get a whole new squad. 

Molly: That's crazy. I'm confused. So is it that between your quarters you have longer breaks?

Like there's a break 

Gerry: between each quarter? Yeah, we get three weeks. So I get the first three weeks of October, the first three weeks of January, the first three weeks of April, and the first three weeks of July 

Molly: Did you like that? 

Gerry: I love it. 

Molly: Hmm. I- 

Gerry: I couldn't have a summer. About the second week of the break, I'm, I'm, I'm just, I'm not doing anything.

But I don't, I don't get... I get burnout, but I get like, give me four days. Hmm. And I'm, and I cure the burnout. I'm not gonna be fi- like, after two weeks, I'm like, "Oh, I need something to do." This is the first one where I've been like, "Ah, I wish we had about three more weeks." 

Molly: I feel like my brain couldn't flip-flop between like school, school, school, nothing, nothing, nothing.

Like- It doesn't ... my brain can't- 

Gerry: Nah. 

Molly: Hmm. 

Gerry: It don't. I'll just be out here. 

Molly: Glad [00:10:00] it works for you. 

Gerry: I'll just, I'll just be, I'll just be rolling. But, uh, nah, like, 'cause I passed the edTPA. Not, yeah, was that it, the edTPA? Yeah. I passed it, and then we were out. And I'm like, "Yo, I can't even, like, do my job without stressing more."

I did get my paperwork and I'm done. Applied for the license. I emailed, said I'm good to start my year. They were like, "Yes." I'm done. I'm six years in and I finally have a teaching license. 

Molly: Shut up. 

Andrea: Gerry's there. He's arrived, everybody. 

Molly: Dude, they'll let anyone teach. He's finally done it. Kind of. 

Gerry: They, I didn't like the way you said that.

You, you, you, you watch- I know, I did it 

Molly: on purpose ... 

Gerry: you watching you, girl. I'll show up and knock you on your door. I be like, I didn't like the way you said that. I'm kidding. Left and right. 

Molly: I know you're a great teacher. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. 

Gerry: Okay, we didn't say that either. You need to find the middle ground, Molly.

Oh, 

Molly: shit. Okay. No, no. I'm sorry. Goddammit. New kid on the block. Yeah. 

Gerry: Hey, Gerry, you're like really good at being mediocre. 

Andrea: You're the best at meeting expectations. Yeah. 

Molly: Which is the- I think- Which is the way to be because your name's out of the [00:11:00] administrator's mouth. 

Gerry: Yeah. She- 

Molly: That is true. But you're also not getting all of the The extra stuff 'cause you're too good at your job Y- 

Gerry: you gonna learn all about, like, how we patoka stuff and you gonna learn everything.

Molly: I'm 

Andrea: here for it. Um, s- speaking about learning new things, one of the things at the conference that I was really trying to do was make it stuff that actually was gonna be, like, useful and that would make teachers really excited about going back, which is a bit of a, a tall ask. But, um, I, it got me thinking about different professional development stories, and I feel like I've shared a ton of mine on here, but I wanted to hear from you guys if you've gone to any professional development and it was just either super unhinged or just incredibly frustrating the entire...

I mean, I feel like that's every one of them, but have you ever had, like, a wild new administrator coming in just - 

Molly: Dude ... 

Andrea: like, guns blazing? 

Molly: I feel like we, okay, I haven't had anything, like, super crazy most of the time. God, it's just, like, such a waste of your time. Like, you sit there and you're like, [00:12:00] "I'm sitting here getting classroom management strategies that I'm already doing."

Yeah. And I have to sit here for a two-hour meeting when I could be, I could have five things checked off my to-do list in my classroom. Like, there is literally nothing worse. But my fa- Okay. One time we got, the superintendent would always do this, like, back to school, like, hoorah. Like, we got every school, every teacher in the district in one auditorium, and it would be, you know, the big pep talk - 

Andrea: Yeah

Molly: from the superintendent. The entire, it was a 45-minute pep pump-up speech, right? Ugh, 

Andrea: yeah. 

Molly: And we're all, like, itching to get back to our classrooms, right? Right. We got stuff done. It was a 50-slide presentation, and each slide was just a different clip art word of like Empower. And he'd say a few things about empower, and then he'd be like, "Teaching is your superpower."

And it'd have like- Oh ... a cartoon Superman on the next slide. And like- Yeah ... [00:13:00] I'm not kidding, 50 slides that like, to where we're all kind of looking at each other like, "Is this, is this a joke? Like is this for real?" It was the craziest thing I've ever seen when this man's making like probably seven times what I'm making.

Yeah. And he has a clip art slideshow, and he's like, "Great- Yeah ... go have a great year, guys." And the best part was that the theme, our district theme that year was I love it here. So after every PD he'd say, "I love it here." We were like, "That is the most, that's like almost worse than remember your why." It was 

Andrea: nuts.

Molly: You know, 

Andrea: like he thought he l- he nailed it. Like he went home after that- Yes ... and was like, "I crushed that actually." 

Molly: Like, "

Andrea: You're 

Molly: all gonna go change the world." Yeah. "I just fixed the teacher crisis." Like- 

Andrea: Yeah ... 

Molly: they're ready to go. It was nuts. 

Andrea: Every other district dealing with like burnout resiliency issues, not mine.

I- 

Molly: Nope ... 

Andrea: empower. 

Molly: Empower. 

Gerry: That's crazy he got to 50 slides. Like you get to slide 37- I'm not kidding ... like I'm cooking. I'm cooking. 

Molly: No, because I knew someone, I knew the person that had to like run the slideshow, and I guess the night [00:14:00] before they like got the slideshow for review of like, "Okay, this is what you're gonna be clicking through as they're doing their speech."

And this person was like, "Is it too late to tell them like don't do this? Like this is crazy." And it was literally, it just kept going. We're like another clip art. Like you think of clip art, that's what you saw. It was crazy. It was crazy. It was the day before kids were in our rooms too. 

Andrea: Oh my gosh. I mean, okay.

Molly: Like crunch time. 

Andrea: What, if you guys could be the ones to give the pump up speech And they said it had to be 45 minutes. 'Cause I'm in this position now, like I- now I'm in the position where districts are asking me, they're calling me and they're saying, "Hey, our teachers like you. We'd love for you to come and give a pump-up speech."

What would you guys include or not include in that pump-up speech? Because number one, I do feel, to be honest, and I obviously am the biggest advocate for teachers, I love all teachers, some of them have just really bad attitudes, and the fact that you are standing in front of them at the beginning of their PD will mean they will hate you no matter what.

So I'm, I don't even think there's [00:15:00] anything I could do to win those people over. But for the rest that are like, "All right," like, "show me what you got," what, what would you guys include? 

Gerry: For 45 minutes? 

Andrea: Minimum. Most of the places ask for 90, and I always talk them down and say like, "Can it be like 45 to 60?"

Because talking at a group, and most of the time I'll be like, "Can I do like a workshop? Is this something where we can do like some discussions?" And they're like, "No, no, this is like a keynote presentation," which means you are talking at them for 45 to 60 minutes. What are we doing? Don't 

Molly: you wanna say to them like, "Give them an extra 30 minutes-" 

Andrea: I-

of 

Molly: time?" 

Andrea: Always. Yeah. 

Molly: It's crazy. Yeah. I would, I would name it. I'd be like, "I know that you guys are itching to get back in your classrooms, but like, take this as a moment to let your brain take a break." Mm. "Because like, it's not gonna slow down for the next nine months." Yeah. "You have an hour to just sit here and not have to be the one talking, planning nothing.

Take a break right now and just, like, relax." Like, I would probably name it 

Andrea: [00:16:00] Yeah. 

Molly: The obvious 

Andrea: As part of it. But what would you for, like, the content? Like, are you gonna tell, like, funny jokes? Are you gonna try and be like, "Empower." Empower. But 

Molly: it's 

Andrea: okay, guys. Just absorb. I'm gonna do crowd 

Gerry: work. 

Andrea: You're gonna do crowd work?

You're gonna start bullying the, the teachers? 

Gerry: Yeah. 

Andrea: That, I mean- Yeah ... that is a move. That is a move. That's how I 

Gerry: pad my stand-up time. Why not pad my pump-up time? 

Andrea: I mean, that makes sense. Okay, are you picking on the older teachers or the younger ones? 

Gerry: They can all get it. It don't matter. I got th- this is Ray E for everybody.

They ... I got something for all y'all. 

Andrea: I have too much, um, like, reverence for the, the older teachers because if there's someone that's gonna straight-up take me down, it's a seasoned teacher. A teacher that's about to retire has nothing to lose. They already don't wanna see you. Like, there's nothing you're gonna tell them that they feel like they don't know because they probably do.

Like, I'm not, I'm not coming with the heat for the teachers that look like they've been around the block. Absolutely not. [00:17:00] That's 

Molly: terrible. Like, they 

Gerry: already know coming- See, I don't even know if I know what ... That, that wasn't a good time for you to stop talking, by the way. Damn it. No. Nah, that was bad. Damn it.

That was bad. 

Molly: All right, Gerry. Take, take a shot, Adam ... take a shot every time we interrupt each other. 

Gerry: I'm out. I pounded it. I'm out. Um, I don't even know what reverence means, I don't think. Is that the movie where Leonardo DiCaprio fought that bear? 

Andrea: That's The Revenant, you dork. No. 

Molly: What? I would've known the same thing.

It's okay. Don't feel bad. Yeah. 

Gerry: Thank you. 

Andrea: Molly. 

Molly: I didn't know- You know what 

Andrea: reverence is. 

Molly: Yeah, but I 

Gerry: didn't 

Molly: know 

Gerry: the etymology. No, that's, that's 

Andrea: just- 

Molly: Y'all need to get yourselves 

Andrea: to church ... 

Molly: I thought that was the name- I thought that was the name of that movie. I know what reverence is. 

Gerry: I feel like, like Andrea's our mom, and me and Molly are gonna be-

siblings that are either fighting or we're, like, plotting against you. Yeah. Like, it's not gonna be any other way. 

Andrea: There's no need to plot against me. I- 

Gerry: Well, we'll find a way. 

Andrea: Oh my God. No. Rev- Just spice it up ... being reverent is another version of [00:18:00] reverence. So I have reverence. Reverent. I'm gonna be reverent.

This is a vocab lesson. You're making 

Gerry: shit up. 

Andrea: I- 

Molly: No, that is true. 

Andrea: I- it is. Yeah. I feel you. Listen- Wait, 

Gerry: who's, wait, who's true? Me or her? 

Molly: Not you. 

Andrea: As, as previously established, when the three of us were together and we talked about science- 

Gerry: And y'all get wrong, y'all be wrong Y'all be so wrong 

Andrea: We were so wrong.

Like- We were so wrong ... in, on, but like not even just like, oh, we took a hard stance on one thing, but we then shamed you Um, for your thoughts, which w- to be fair, also wrong. Um- 

Molly: Yeah ... 

Andrea: but we were very confident in our wrongness. You were just like, "Yeah, that's on me. I'm wrong." Um, and Molly and I were like, "You are an idiot, obviously."

Molly: I'll be hon- so I'll be honest, Andrea, at one point during that though, you had said something and I was like, "I honestly don't feel like that's right, but sure." I was like 10 toes down Thanks for being 

Andrea: my reality check. I 

Molly: was like- 

Andrea: Thanks ... 

Molly: yeah, that's true. 

Andrea: My confidence [00:19:00] sometimes really convinces other people I know what I'm, I'm doing, and unfortunately it's not 100%.

I do not bat 1,000. Um- 

Molly: You have a PhD, so I was like, she knows more than me. Yeah, that's true. Like, for sure. 

Andrea: Let me immediately, um, let you know that that is not the case. The only thing where I feel very confident in speaking about things is on, like, teaching, and even then I'm very willing to be like, "You know what?

No, I read a new study and found out that that's not true." Um, but like history, science- 

Molly: Anatomy ... 

Andrea: politics, anatomy. 

Gerry: I have a question. Where are you, where are you finding these studies that people come out with? Do you just Google new studies in teaching? Like, or do people tell you about? Like how do you find out about these?

Andrea: There was a couple of different questions 

Gerry: I 

Andrea: feel 

Gerry: like And who is coming up, who is coming up with the stuff to do studies on? 

Andrea: Okay, there's a lot of questions you just asked. 

Gerry: It is a list. 

Andrea: There's a lot to unpack. So I read studies because as part of my job, [00:20:00] I need to be up to date on, like, the most recent research, and because I have to write research.

So to answer your later question of who comes up with these studies, people at universities like me will say, "I wonder why professional development sucks so bad, and it always seems like no one gets anything out of it." But you can't just say something like that. You have to have something that you can, like, quantify and count and stuff like that.

So somebody like me will go to a district and we'll say, "Hey, we wanna do a research study. Can we do a survey with your teachers who would like to participate?" And then we have to do a bunch of research to show what has been studied before, and then we do the thing. We have to also get approval from all these different things.

Um, and then we do the study, and then we look at all the data, and then we write a big paper, and we submit it to a bunch of journals that publish this periodically. They're called periodicals. 

Molly: Sounds fancy. So they have proof, so they have proof of their, of their 

Andrea: opinions. Yes, so you can't just, yes, so you can't just say anything in [00:21:00] these.

You have to have research, and that's why they call it peer-reviewed, is because p- other PhDs have read it, and they've asked questions and said like, "Hey, I don't think you have enough evidence to make this statement." And if everybody agrees that you don't have enough evidence, you have to rewrite that portion.

So it's a peer-reviewed article. That's why, like, it's more respected, 'cause other people that are experts have also looked at it. Does that make sense? 

Gerry: Yeah, I'm gonna keep it a buck with you. I regret asking 'cause you started telling me big words. I 

Andrea: know. I could tell. You stopped listening about three seconds in.

Yeah, I, 

Gerry: I was just like, yeah, uh, I, I wrote it down 'cause I think it might be a good bit, and I was like, "I'm done with this." I don't, I don't really, I ain't really care. 

Andrea: Gerry's like- But 

Gerry: you had to say- ... 

Andrea: adverse to learning. Well, you asked like five questions Then, uh- And I knew when you were asking them, I was like, "He's gonna get bored with this answer," 'cause it's not like a, a fun, exciting answer.

It's just a factual, the way research works answer, so. 

Gerry: Yeah, I ain't gonna lie, I thought I was cooking. Yeah. I kinda thought I was on, I thought I had just changed the industry right now. You 

Andrea: just, you were like, I, 

Gerry: you were like, "No one's ever thought" And then you hit me with all this boring 

Andrea: [00:22:00] stuff. No 

Gerry: one's ever thought 

Andrea: about this.

Yeah, you 

Gerry: know what? It, I kinda thought everybody was just saying, "Yeah, there's this new study out about texting in the classroom." And I'm like, "No, there's not" And they'd be like, "Yeah, you're right" or something. I dunno. 

Molly: You thought 

Andrea: we 

Molly: were gonna say- I'm sure some people do ... you thought we were gonna say, "You're right.

There is no purpose for studies. Everyone is lying to me" Yeah, 

Andrea: who says there is a purpose then? I was gonna say that. Obviously. Who's even doing research? That's crazy. 

Molly: It 

Andrea: is fake. Um, okay. We are gonna take a very quick break, and when we get back, we are gonna talk about first week of school stories. So be right back.

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KnowWord [00:23:00] also saves time because students don't have to log in, which eliminates all of that extra time and effort spent onboarding students onto another platform and managing accounts. The vocab games are customizable and actually super fun. And if you're starting a brand-new unit and you want some ideas for vocab for your students, you can use their AI generator to build a vocab pack for your students.

If you wanna get your students off of the computer, you can also print out their vocab worksheets. I love it for some quick review or as a fun way to gauge my students' knowledge. To find out more, go to knowword.com. Again, that's K-N-O-W-O-R-D.com to learn more about how KnowWord fits into your classroom Have you ever wondered what I would say if my mother and my administrators weren't watching every single thing I do on social media?

Well, that's exactly what my stand-up show is, and I'm gonna be coming to a town near you super soon. You can get [00:24:00] tickets at educatorandrea.com/tickets

Welcome back, teacher besties. Okay, so we had some people write in and ask about what are some of our wildest first week of school stories. And I, I don't know about you guys, but, like, the first week of school to me, I think is, like, my f- kind of my favorite because I'm so optimistic. I really feel like I'm gonna be a new person every single time.

I'm like, "This is gonna be my year, guys. Like, I... This is the year I'm gonna grade all of their writing prompts with, like, really specific feedback every single time. Uh, I'm gonna keep up with my calendar, my cute little calendar that I got that, from Target that's on the wall. I'm gonna keep up with it this year.

This is gonna be my year. I'm gonna crush it." And that optimism really carries me through the first year every single year. Um, but I don't know. I, I would love to hear from you guys some of your first week of school stories because the first week is also the week where [00:25:00] I feel like students will be, they'll be, they'll be testing the waters.

They're trying to figure out what can they pull. 

Molly: Gerry? I don't wanna inter- I don't wanna interrupt you. 

Gerry: I tend to just yell- 

Andrea: What? ... 

Gerry: first week. 

Andrea: What do you mean? 

Gerry: I like to scare them. I'm like a warden. 

Andrea: Oh. 

Molly: Are you what- There's kinda something to that. 

Andrea: Couldn't be me. 

Molly: I've done that. 

Gerry: So here's my plan. It worked.

I got a brand new classroom this year, and they're put... I'm legit... It, it's never been, since I've been there, it's never been a classroom. It's right smack dab in the front of the school. It's literally right next to the door, right next to the front office. I was like, "Yeah, get me away from by the cafeteria.

I like the green wall in that room. I'll go over there, sure." I said, "If it's bad, I'll just take my room back. I'll divide and conquer or something, you know?" So I think I'ma tell the kids that, like, they moved my room because I crash out so much that they wanted me to be next to the school resource officer, and just I'll do that to scare the sixth graders.

Be like, "Yeah, they want me by the front office in case a guy come get me, because I be crashing out." 

Andrea: I like that. Just some fear-based motivation. I 

Gerry: [00:26:00] do. When I'm, like, angry, I like to throw stuff- 

Andrea: You do not ... 

Gerry: at them. I flipped a desk one time. I was- 

Andrea: Gerry ... my own 

Gerry: desk. 

Andrea: You're... We should not have this part out there in the world.

You're gonna get in trouble. You can't be throwing things. 

Gerry: My boss was in there. 

Andrea: Okay, you're gonna get your 

Molly: boss in front of here too. I think, wait, I swear this was the day that I This was like the week that I was on last time. You were like- It might've been ... "Guys, I had a bad crash out. Like, my boss was in there."

I remember this. I didn't 

Gerry: like throw like a student desk. It was like a standing desk and I just went like that and knocked it over and yelled. And I called my boss. I said, "Hey, I don't wanna go crazy crazy, so can you come in here?" 

Andrea: Oh, got it, got it. Okay, so you had them there as 

Gerry: a backup. And she came in, and that's when I flipped, I flipped it like to, for emphasis.

It was like, I was like, "Period," and I flipped the desk. Okay. 

Molly: I was thinking like a, "Ugh." 

Gerry: It worked. It worked, 'cause they was quiet the rest of the period. I probably took a nap that day. 

Andrea: Have you ever cried in front of your class? 

Gerry: Like in anger? 

Andrea: Well, almost every time I cry it's 'cause I'm angry, so yeah.

Especi- I... Most of the time I'm [00:27:00] crying- Yeah ... it's 'cause I'm so angry that my face starts leaking, which makes me angrier. 

Gerry: If I get angry enough that I'm gonna start crying, I'm calling somebody and leaving the room. You don't want me in there. 

Andrea: Mm. '

Gerry: Cause I'll, I, I'll, I'll, I'll punch a hole through the wall.

I'll- Oh ... I'll, I'll, I'll spaz. 

Andrea: Don't 

Gerry: do that. Nah. I, no, I, I'm a crash out. If I- Mm ... if I'm really about to crash out, I make j- I like get somebody to come to the room so, like, I'm like, "Ah, no, I can't go crazy." 

Andrea: Smart. Smart. 

Gerry: Guys, how about you, Molly? Most of the time though, all my crash outs are orchestrated. Like, I'm really not mad, I just turn it on.

Andrea: Interesting. You manipulate. 

Gerry: You just give everyone who needs some class management. And then, I'll, like, I'll, I'll, yeah, and like I'll go nuts, and then I'll be like, "We good?" And they'll be like, "Yeah." I'll be like, "Did y'all see the new Spider-Man trailer?" Or something like that. 

Molly: That's the best. And they'll be like- I do that shit too.

You like flip... Sorry, can we, do we cuss on here a little bit? 

Andrea: Yeah. A little 

Molly: bit. Okay. But I wanna keep it- My mom doesn't like it ... avoid. But yeah. I probably should avoid. Well, 

Gerry: your mom doesn't like anything that I do. 

Andrea: Hey, whoa, whoa. She doesn't like your nose ring, because your nose ring is dumb. 

Molly: Okay. I was gonna ask if that was a nose ring.

Gerry: It [00:28:00] 

Molly: is dumb. Yes. I noticed it. 

Andrea: Yeah. I couldn't see. I'm like, "What is that?" I can't believe you can see it. Yeah, he's got a n- Let's see ... I, I also- Show it off ... do you have your n- 

Molly: Oh. Got that bling. 

Andrea: Do you have a nose ring, Molly? Yeah. 

Molly: Mm-mm. 

Andrea: Nope. You gotta, you're gonna have to get one now. I don't 

Molly: think it's fit for my face.

Andrea: Well, welcome to the podcast. Oh, is that part of the- Now you will have to... Yeah ... to my contract? I don't know if you read that in the contract, but actually yeah, sorry. Next time we're together- Yeah ... I will take you to go and get your nose pierced. Don't do it. It'll be great. It 

Gerry: hurts. 

Molly: Lovely. 

Andrea: It does, it hurts worse than a tattoo.

Really? Legitimately. It was- It hurt ... very painful, because when they do it- Yikes ... they make you get one of the ones that has like, well, at least with mine, has like a hoop on the end. And so it's like a, like a pole and then a little like half circle hoop. That's what they did at, at both of the places that I've been before.

And so then when they put it in, they are then taking like a curved metal thing and curving it into like your fresh wound. That's the part that really hurt, is they're like- Ew ... putting the piercing in. So 

Gerry: you could have the curved one? 

Andrea: Yeah, that's... Well, it's curved inside, not on the out. Well, this one isn't.

Really? But yeah. 

Gerry: I don't know if this is or not. 

Andrea: [00:29:00] Well- I mean, you could check if 

Molly: it's just a post- I don't think it was ... anytime. Where do you get a nose, a nose piercing, Claire's? 

Andrea: No. Nah, I went to- Don't, don't go to Claire's for any piercing unless 

Gerry: you want MRSA ... I almost, almost went, almost went to Claire's.

Andrea: Don't go to 

Gerry: Claire's. My God. But, um, I got put on this place in Durham and I went down there and, and, and this dude who had like, like, like really short pants on did mine. 

Andrea: Oh, some jorts? 

Gerry: Nah, they were longer than that. 

Andrea: Okay. Got it. Got it. Are jorts always short? 

Gerry: Yeah, they're jean shorts. Yeah, 

Molly: I 

Andrea: know they are.

They're not always short. They're not always short. I have long jorts. You could wear, yeah, you could have like knee length 

Gerry: jorts. My- mine are above the knee. 

Molly: Not the real 

Andrea: ones. How ... Hmm. 

Gerry: Yeah, nah. 

Molly: Nah. 

Gerry: I w- when, hey, when I get down below 300 I'm gonna get me some Daisy Dukes. 

Andrea: Oh, what a gift to the world those will be.

Gerry: I'm be partying. 

Andrea: Yeah. Perfect. 

Gerry: Yeah. 

Andrea: Um, Molly, to answer you, you get any kind of body piercing from a tattoo parlor. Okay. That's usually the safest place. 

Molly: Well, I got my third piercings from my step-sister. She literally took it ... No, guys, this is my, this is the only ear, ear piercing that I've never had infected [00:30:00] is my third piercing.

And my step-sister one day, she was like, "I'll pierce it." And we took like the sharpest tipped earring backs we could find in my mom's closet and she just poked it through. Oh. I've never taken them out and they've never been infected. 

Andrea: Well, she's got 

Molly: a gift. I know. It was kinda dumb, but like, it was bad.

Also, I was thinking about it, I don't think Claire's probably does nose piercings, but do you remember Icing? 

Gerry: They do. 

Andrea: Oh, yeah. 

Molly: Yeah, Claire's do them. There's Claire's and Icing. I bet Claire's is ears and Icing, they do- 

Andrea: They, 

Molly: yeah. That was the big kid Claire's. A little edgier. Yeah. Yeah. 

Andrea: Yeah. Yeah, it was a little edgier.

Um, we still haven't gotten to very many first week of school stories. But yeah, your 

Gerry: mom hates my nose ring. 

Andrea: Okay. She doesn't hate your nose ring. She doesn't like my nose ring either. She doesn't like my tattoo either, so it's 

Molly: okay. But I'm gonna be the favorite child on the podcast. 

Andrea: You are. Yeah. She's gonna go, "That's my punk girl."

As long as I don't miss. Yeah. Well ... 

Gerry: You have your real ID? 

Molly: Yeah, I do. 

Gerry: Yeah. Yeah. You sh- you ... Shit. I don't have my real ID and about once every three weeks I get a message from Andrea's mom like, "You got your real ID yet?" And I'm [00:31:00] like, "Nah, I probably won't." Like- I feel 

Andrea: for you ... 

Gerry: I'll have a passport. 

Andrea: My mom really wants what's best for you, Gerry.

That's just, that's just part of it, so. You need to get 

Molly: the real ID, dude. 

Andrea: See, now you're gon- you're gonna have all of us on you. 

Molly: Why? 

Andrea: Why, why what? Just in case you're gonna fly. Why not? 

Gerry: I ain't flying nowhere. 

Andrea: What ... How are you gonna stay at my mom's house then and go to California? You gonna drive for three days?

I can do it when I get a 

Gerry: real ID. I can drive for three days. 

Andrea: Oh my gosh. Ridiculous. Um- We need 

Gerry: to plan that out though, 'cause I don't w- if I, I w- I, I feel like it'd be weird if I go to your mom's house and you're not there. 

Andrea: I mean, my mom would be fine. My mom loves having people over. Sure. She would make you all the cookies in the world.

Okay, first week of school. What kind of shenanigans, man? You said you yell a lot, Gerry. Yeah. Just to scare them. I do that. I'm not, I'm not a yeller. I usually try and just be very like even keel and, but like really enforce cellphone rules especially. Um, but now I teach college and they are just so easy that I don't even have to be like, "Put your phone away," 'cause they're adults and they're paying for it, so.

If they wanna stare at their phone, that's fine The 

Molly: best thing I ever [00:32:00] did, I think my first year of teaching ever, I, like, did this accidentally, and I was trying to get their attention, and there was, like, three paras in the room. Or one of them, she was the behavior management teacher, and obviously I'm, like, super intimidated, and I couldn't get their attention.

What did I say? I think I said something like, "I need, like, I need your attention in three, two, one," like a countdown, and then they didn't, so then I, like, got angry voice. I was like, "I said I need your attention." And it, like, they weren't expecting that on the first day. And I was like, "Shit, was that wrong?"

Like, there's other adults in the room. But then the behavior management teacher, she, um, sent me an email and was like, "I love your classroom management. Like, we're so lucky to have you." And I was like, "Yes!" So now I, like, on the first day it works like magic to ... And then I do exactly what you do, Gerry, where I suddenly am like, "Thank you," and then we, like, keep going.

And they're like, "Are we in trouble?" Interesting. And I feel like it kind of works wonders. Like, I don't want them to think I'm mean, but having one moment where you kinda [00:33:00] snap a little- Yeah ... they're like, "Oh, she's not gonna be..." Like, it, it does something to them. 

Andrea: Yeah. Never let them know your next move. That makes sense.

Molly: No. Guys, one time, I gotta tell you this first-day-of-school story. Okay, this is, like, awful. Okay, it ... Well, it's not awful, but it was awful to me. Like, I still think about it. Okay, so it was the first day of school of, like, oh, God, what was it? My fourth year. And I was wearing this, like, denim long-sleeve shirt, like button-up, so it doesn't stretch or anything.

And we had eight class periods. It w- it wasn't block schedule. It was middle school. And you get to the end of the day, and it's, like, homeroom. So some of the kids in my homeroom I had already had throughout the day. And one of the girls in my homeroom was like, "What's up with your shirt?" And I was like, "What do you mean?"

She was like, "Well, what's up with your armpit?" And I was like, "Oh, crap," like, and I went to feel. Guys, there wasn't just a hole. Like, if this is the seam, the whole thing was ripped, sleeve ripped off. It was dangling on by a thread. And I so was like, "How?" So then I [00:34:00] felt the other one, and it was, like, same thing.

I hulked out of it. I literally, like, hulked out of my shirt, and it was ripped, like threads. And I was like, "Oh my gosh." 

Andrea: That's 

Molly: mortifying. So I'm sitting there, and I was like, "How long has it been like that today?" And one of the kids in my homeroom says, "Ugh, I mean, I noticed it in third hour, but I just thought it was supposed to be like that maybe."

All day long. Can you imagine? Oh, no. You know those shirts, those, like, little shirts that we used to wear where- Yeah, with the little- ... it was, like, the shoulders cut out? Like, 

Andrea: yeah, the little- 

Molly: But the opposite. Just armpit breeze. They saw one of my pits out. 

Andrea: Just 

Molly: All day. And I had no idea. I was hanging on by a thread.

I was like, "This cannot be real." Oh. My first day of school, I was like, "This is, this would be, this is sitcom material." 

Andrea: I feel like, though, that speaks to your confidence because if you were not a super confident person, then they would be like, "That's so embarrassing for her." But they were like, "That is the style.

That's [00:35:00] just-" 

Molly: You know what? So true. They're like, "She's, she's, uh, trailblazing in fashion." 

Andrea: She is that girl. 

Molly: Yeah. 

Gerry: Clock 

Andrea: it. 

Molly: The, the clock it. 

Gerry: That would've been a dope crash out moment where if they just made you mound the first day you go, "Bah, bah" and then he's ugh 

Molly: Incredible. And I wish I would've kept the shirt.

This was before I had social media. It would've been a great memento to like share in stories or like put on or something. But I threw it away. 

Andrea: Speaking of great stories, so this last week I was doing this social media workshop with a couple of teachers and I told them, I was like, "Listen, the worst day of your life, like the, the hardest things that you have going on, minor inconveniences, bad stuff makes for really good content, especially if you can share it in a way that is funny and not self-pitying.

Like, if you can share it and be like, 'Ha ha ha, this was terrible,' it just does really well every time" And I cursed myself because that very night [00:36:00] I was sitting in my house, I was getting ready for bed. My husband was already asleep. And I get a text from my neighbor that says, "Hey, there was somebody who was wearing a ski mask that apparently was walking down the road.

One of the neighbors saw him and he ducked behind our house" And I was like, "There's a man in a ski mask behind my house? I beg your finest pardon" And so I'm like, "Wait, what?" And she's like, "Yeah." She said it was like a couple minutes ago. And so I go and wake up Steven and I'm like, "There's a man in a ski mask behind our house" And he's like, "Well, call the police" And I was like, "No, yeah, that's what I should do, actually.

Yeah" And I don't know why in that moment I wasn't immediately like ... Well, first of all, I needed to tell him first because he's physically there and he can actually do something in the moment. Um, but then I was like, it like didn't even occur to me to be like, "I should call the police right now" Which is how people in scary movies die, is because you're not like, "I should call the police" I literally w- my first thought was like, "I need to wake him up so he can protect me and our babies" [00:37:00] And then my second thought was like, "I need a weapon" And I, like he had the main weapon, um, and I went and grabbed scissors and I was like standing there- Sure

with like kitchen shears and I'm like- 

Molly: Oh ... 

Andrea: gonna freaking- 

Molly: Come at me, bro ... 

Andrea: uh, just, just nothing but I don't know what the plan was. 

Molly: Scissor fingers. 

Andrea: See, yeah, I was literally, like Edward Scissorhands, like gonna just do something. And my husband is like going around, 'cause he's, you know, former Marine, like he's going downstairs and he's like got a flashlight and he's like clearing the house downstairs.

'Cause a lot of times we would keep our basement area unlocked, not anymore. Um, and so he's like clearing the house and all of that, and I'm standing by the front door looking, like peering through the little window, holding scissors and waiting for the police to arrive. Oh 

Molly: my gosh. 

Andrea: And it was the absolute wildest thing.

And they, they didn't, like the cops showed up after about 13 minutes, which we'd be, we'd be d- we'd be gone. Yeah. If, if it in fact had been- [00:38:00] 

Molly: Like, thank God I woke up my husband. Like 

Andrea: Right. Thankfully, he was able to clear the house, make sure no one was in there. Um, but yeah, I, I mean, the, like... And my husband's like, "Well, they, that's not really a lights and sirens call."

And I was like, "What do you mean? A man in a ski mask behind my house is not a lights and sirens situ- That, what is? Like, does he have to be, like, holding a weapon coming straight towards me? Like, what's lights and sirens?" Um- 

Gerry: Pretty much. 

Andrea: Apparently. But I mean, thankfully I had him- Maybe it's like if you- ... to protect me

Molly: physically see it. I don't know. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: That happened to me. Well, not, that ain't happened to me one t- one time, but you said scissors, that made me think about this story, was when I was in my college apartment, I'm 

Molly: Sure. 

Andrea: Not- I 

Gerry: know that was a, that was 

Andrea: a 

Gerry: hard- 

Andrea: That happened to me. Not any of the stuff that happened to you, but scissors 

Gerry: Not, so the scissors part happened to me one time.

I was in my college apartment, and I'm asleep, right? And I had this electronic dartboard out in the, [00:39:00] out in the living room. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: And it fell off the wall and crashed onto the ground, and it was lou- it sounded like somebody banged through the door, 'cause it was right on the other side of my wall. So I'm like, "Oh, no."

And I'm freaking out. And it's like, I woke up and it's like I'm just frozen, 'cause I'm like, "What am I supposed to do?" Like, I ain't even awake yet. And I'm- ... I'm butt naked, and I grab some scissors, and I recon the whole apartment 

Andrea: with scissors 

Gerry: Butt naked with some scissors Butt naked Yeah 

Andrea: You didn't put pants on first.

I- can you imagine how horrifying- Nah ... that would've been? I don't know if you had a 

Gerry: roommate at the time 'Cause I kinda felt like if I was still naked, he wouldn't put his hands on me if somebody did break in. 

Molly: Actually, no, there's a thing, like I think often how could I present myself that would make someone not want to mess with me?

Andrea: Molly, 

Molly: I gotta say- 

Andrea: Like as a little kid- ... as a woman, showing up naked is probably not the move 

Molly: No, not like that Yeah, no Not like this is, this is a Gerry situation where like that happened to me but it didn't happen to me. You know what I mean? Like this, that's how I would act, but that's not how I would act.

Andrea: Got it, got it. Okay. 

Molly: [00:40:00] Okay. As a little girl, we'd always like, you know, I'd be running around the neighborhood and I'd get so paranoid because first of all, I grew up in Wichita. Okay, so BTK. Y'all know BTK? Oh, 

Andrea: yeah. Yeah, I do. The BTK killer. Uh He's a serial killer Oh, serial killer ... a 

Molly: very, very prolific serial killer And he resurfaced when I was a little girl.

So like he was big in the '70s, that's when he did a lot of his killing, then he resurfaced when I was a little girl. So like we were all, my parents were like, gave us ground rules, like who knew where he was at. So anyway, I'd get so scared. So I decided like when I was walking to my friend's house or my grandma's house or whatever, I would like, I would start acting a certain way when cars would drive by- What did you do?

to make them not wanna be the type of little girl that they'd wanna take. I would like, I would like get a hunchback and I'd like get a really mean look in my face and be like, "Like just look crazy" You're, you're, they're 

Andrea: like, "She looks really unpleasant. Not gonna- I'd 

Molly: start- ... not gonna murder that one" I'd start picking my 

Andrea: nose.

I'd start picking my nose You're like, "They won't want this. 

Molly: There's no way" I wanted to be like a really ugly little girl. Nice. And you know [00:41:00] what? The, I've been seeing on the internet, girls do that now when they walk home from the bar. 

Andrea: I saw that. And I 

Molly: was like, I started that. It's- I'm telling you. 

Andrea: Yeah.

Yeah. 

Molly: It's smart. 

Andrea: See, and 

Molly: all the 

Andrea: men have to do- Don't be the type of person they wanna take ... is just like, men just take off their pants and immediately people are like, "Ugh, no" 

Molly: Girls have to act like they're going through- We have to do some- ... psychosis ... 

Andrea: wild things. Yeah. Wild things. 

Molly: I always thought, this might be TMI, but I always thought that if I got taken, I'd immediately try to shit my pants.

Gerry: It works. It works. 

Andrea: Does it, though? Like, would that... I know in a normal person's brain, that would not be good. But if someone is, like, gonna hurt you- They're 

Molly: not a normal person trying to hurt you. Right. But 

Andrea: like- Do you think they're gonna get the ick? Like, they really, 

Molly: they really wanna touch my body that has shit all over it, poop all over it.

Sorry. You're 

Andrea: like, you're, like, doing- Andrea ... everything you can to give them the ick, and you're like- ... "There's no way this person who wants to wear my skin is gonna wanna have to deal with my poop." With 

Molly: this. 

Andrea: All right? 

Molly: Right. 

Andrea: He's gonna be like, "Look at how perfect she is. She's so great," and then [00:42:00] he's gonna be like, "Ew, I didn't know you were on your period.

Gross." 

Molly: Or, "You're actually a gross girl." Yeah. I'd be like- Ew. But then what if they make me, like, sit in it? Then you're like, "Well, dang it." So it's, it's a gamble. 

Andrea: It is a gamble, yeah. 

Gerry: Andrea, did you get my voicemail the other week? 

Andrea: Oh, yeah, that you pooped your pants again? 

Gerry: Yeah. Well, h- hold on. I- Uh, 

Andrea: it's 

Gerry: just, like, a little bit.

Andrea: Yeah. Gerry, it's too often. I got it. You need to see a doctor about this. It's cut down a lot. It's too... 

Gerry: I was in the car. I was beating the center console like, "Turn," and then ran in the Jersey Mike, y- y'all got a bathroom? 

Andrea: Mm-hmm. 

Gerry: And I, I, man, I about took the roof off that Jersey Mike's. Yeah. But, and then, and, and you were the first person I thought of.

I called you before I filmed the video. I was like, "Andrea." I- I said, "You're not gonna believe this." And then you didn't say a word to me about it. Okay. I'm like, "Great. I just have this- Let me ... voicemail floating around now." 

Andrea: I think I should probably, if I... I don't know that I deleted it. If I have it, we should play it here for everyone to listen to next week.

I was in the middle of a, like, a very serious conversation with Steven. Like, we [00:43:00] were chatting very seriously, and I see Gerry's calling, and I'm like, "I don't, I can't right now." And I didn't get notified that you left a message until three days later. And so- 

Gerry: I think I almost called Steven. 

Molly: I'm sorry. Can you imagine, you're talking to your spouse-

and you're like, you know, who, who God knows it's, like, emotional, and you're like, "Hold on." Yeah. "

Andrea: Hold on." And Gerry's 

Molly: just like- Or like, "I, I just shit my pants"

I'd be like, "Hang up the phone." Yeah. I'd 

Andrea: be so- I'd be like, "Why is Gerry... What is happening?" Oh my gosh, Gerry, I feel like we need to have a poop your pants counter, like days since Gerry has pooped his pants for this podcast. Let's start 

Gerry: it right now. And just be like, yeah. I think I've let you know the last two or three times.

Andrea: Okay. I'll look at the date that you left that voicemail, and next episode- Yeah ... we will both listen to the voicemail. Yeah. And we will check and 

Molly: see- It's that 

Andrea: often, Gerry? It's at least once a month, I think. 

Gerry: No, nah, we cut down now. The GLP-1 got me. 

Molly: Okay. 

Gerry: I don't know. I kinda just thought it was a fat guy [00:44:00] thing.

I thought we just did that. I don't know that it 

Andrea: is. I don't think it's a 

Molly: body- I think it's a tummy issues thing. I think it's like- Yeah ... your body's like- You should see a doctor. I think you might need a colonoscopy just to, just to make sure. 

Gerry: Hell no, bro. 

Molly: No, they're not bad. Nah, I just- They're kinda nice.

Nah, 

Gerry: I'm just- 

Molly: They're kinda nice. No. I'm being so deadass. No, listen, listen, listen. Here's my take on colonoscopies. People give 'em- Oh, boy ... a bad rap, okay? And I know what we're all thinking right now. But don't let your mind go there, okay? 

Andrea: Okay. Great. 

Molly: The worst part, the worst part is that the day before you can't eat.

You can't eat anything. Yeah. It sucks. You're in a bad mood. But then the day of, you get to take a day off work. Since you, you, you go in and they, they, you take a great nap, the best nap of your life, right? 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Molly: You wake up, you're not in any pain. It's a painless procedure. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Molly: So you get to go home. But since you're coming out of the grog, all you have to do is lay around all day.

That 

Andrea: is nice. That does 

Molly: sound like a break. And you get to eat whatever you want because you didn't eat the day before. You're like, "I can eat whatever I want 'cause I've earned this." 

Andrea: I was gonna say- 

Molly: It's the best day ever ... you probably feel so skinny too, like right 

Andrea: after- You feel so skinny ... your 

Molly: colonoscopy.

[00:45:00] You're like- And my stomach doesn't hurt Yeah, but you're not, you don't know what happened We're still in the department where they put the camera in your ass. You're not there for it. Yeah, but you're not awake. You're not awake. You don't feel it. You're not there for it. You take a great nap. You wake up- Assuming you go 

Gerry: under general, 'cause I, I don't know that all of them- No, you, I think they give you pro- propofol.

Oh, I don't know. Science podcast. Do they

have to do a colonoscopy to find out if we have 

Molly: IV- IBS? Guys, I actually do know about this. What'd you say? 

Gerry: Do you have to have a colonoscopy? 

Molly: No, I have IBS, so I'm an ally with you. Okay. Yay. And, um, I'm 

Gerry: a- When's the last time, when's the last time you, you doo-doo'd yourself? 

Molly: I don't wanna talk about it. 

Andrea: Oh my gosh.

I feel like we 

Molly: need to have a 

Andrea: counter for the 

Molly: both of you. No, guys. No. It's, mine has only been twice, I can't even say, in my adult life, and both were from food poisoning. Okay? 

Gerry: Oh, okay. Oh, nah. Food poisoning gives you a 

Andrea: pass. I, 

Gerry: I, I, I think, I think I'm at, like, two or three times this year. 

Molly: No. Okay, so, like, we're not the same, respectfully, but I've, like, I understand the battle.

Gerry: Molly, you never weighed [00:46:00] 400 pounds. 

Molly: I know the battle. 

Andrea: Well, but sounds like she's managing her health condition, and you're in denial that you have one. 

Gerry: Okay, but hold on. Te- listen, listen. Okay. If you were eating a couple cookout trays a day at one point in your life, you don't think you shit in your pants a little more often?

Molly: That's- Wow ... that could be it. But no, but here's the thing. Here's something to look out for. When you start getting, like, the healthy foods in, that's what hurts my tummy because the fiber, and it's like s- it can be hard, so you gotta be careful. It can go the other way too, dude. Nah, mine 

Gerry: makes it better. 

Molly: Oh.

Gerry: I think mine's fried foods. Okay. And I, I think I got, I don't think I, I don't think I like milk no more. But then, like, but then, like, I ate, uh, hibachi for lunch, some hibachi steak, and I, I came home, and it was like I drove over a carton of milk. It was- 

Andrea: I hate that description ... 

Gerry: I kinda thought that was funny.

Andrea: Sorry, what? I hate that description so much. I just... Yeah. Is the driving over the carton of milk a description of the sound of the, the stuff hitting the toilet? 

Gerry: Nah, it's just the way it 

Andrea: like- It just exploded? 

Gerry: Yeah, it's [00:47:00] bird shot. 

Andrea: Got it. 

Gerry: Not buckshot, bird shot. I, 

Andrea: I hate that a lot. 

Molly: You are very- I hate it so much

you have great imagery. I can, I can. You, you help us to picture it in our minds and that's- Uh-huh. 

Andrea: It's beautiful, honestly ... talent. Um, on that note- Because 

Gerry: they talking about that explosive diarrhea thing that's going around now. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, how, how am I gonna know? 

Molly: You might 

Andrea: not. You probably won't.

Yeah, you probably won't. It's just your, your regular situation. 

Gerry: Yo, low-key, this explosive diarrhea thing kinda saved me, 'cause now I can be like, "Oh, I guess I got some bad lettuce." 

Andrea: Mm. Yeah, because you're just a health queen. Got that cyclospora. 

Molly: Hey, Gerry, I'm not, I'm not a science person, but I'm just gonna put this on you.

Dude, colon cancer is scary, man. Colonoscopies, that's what you check. You wanna get a colonoscopy to check to make sure it's nothing more serious in your tummy and it's just IBS. Yeah. 

Gerry: It's been, like, five, six years of this. Which is scary. I think if I had colon cancer, I'd be dead now. That's true. I'm 27.

Like, can you get colon cancer when [00:48:00] you turn 

Molly: 30? It's starting younger and younger. 

Andrea: Yeah. Ah. 

Molly: Just be careful. 

Andrea: Get checked. Get checked, guys. Get checked. Health PSA for everyone. Go get a colonoscopy. Um, okay, before we leave today, do you guys have any hills you wanna die on? Like, anything really, like, grindin' your gears?

Molly: I think we're on summer vibes right now, but I will have some once my brain gets back into school. 

Andrea: Okay. I have one. Um, and it's that if someone gets my kids or me Crayzart colored pencils or crayons, I'm throwing them away. I'm throwing them away. Don't give me that garbage. Don't give me... If it's not Crayola, I don't want it.

I don't want it. Like, I'm sorry, I'm not a snob about many things, but yeah, I'm not, I'm not going for, like, your off-brand crayons or colored pencils. I think it's 

Gerry: weird that you know more than one brand- Crayola and Crayzart? ... 

Andrea: of colored pencils and crayons. 

Molly: You don't know Crayzart? 

Gerry: Never heard of Crayz- Nah, never heard, nah.

Andrea: All right. Well, you've lived a privileged life, okay? Because if you've ever been betrayed by a crayon that says it's green and it comes out, like, [00:49:00] purple, then you would know. You would know it's insulting- That's fair ... to your intelligence and to your life experience. So. 

Molly: That might be a hill I die on when I have kids someday.

I'm not there yet. 

Andrea: Yeah, that's the thing, is, like, I have kids, and I've gotten things given to me for my classroom before, and I'm like, this is literal trash, so no thank you. 

Molly: Oh, I have a hill to die on. I thought of it. Well, I guess it's just, like, a correct opinion. Back to school night should not be the night before the first day of school.

That is wild to me that we have to do that. Okay. You have- Say 

Andrea: more. Because it's too much to do right before school? 

Molly: Yes, it is. It makes that first week of school so diabolical for a teacher. We are- Yeah ... in and out PDs and then staying late to actually get stuff done in our classroom, freaking out because the kids are gonna be there.

Like, you gotta be ready. Yeah. And then we have back to school night, and parents are there till, like, literally 9:00, and then we're getting our butts up in the morning for that first day of school, and you're just, like, dying. And I [00:50:00] was a v- I was a volleyball coach for five years, so we would have all day PD that day before school I would go straight from that to practice tryouts for two hours, and then I have to come back for back to school night till 9:00.

That's however many hours, plus then first day of school the next day. And I think it should be either a couple days before the first day or a couple days after the first day. 

Andrea: Can I just say something? 

Molly: Mm-hmm. 

Andrea: I have never taught at a school that made us do back to school night the night before school started.

Never. Yeah, 

Gerry: me either. 

Molly: Are you for real? 

Andrea: Yeah. Oh, that's- I think this is a 

Gerry: Molly problem 

Molly: If a 

Andrea: district 

Molly: out there- No, I think it's Kan- maybe Kansas ... is still doing that, you need to make a change. You need to 

Andrea: make a 

Molly: change. 

Andrea: Yeah. Don't do that to your teachers. I- No ... mine would either be, like, if school started on Thursday, it'd be like Monday night, or it would be two weeks after we were into school.

Gerry: What's, like, the prime day for school to start on? 

Molly: Wednesday. 

Andrea: Yes. 

Gerry: I was thinking Wednesday or Thur. We started on a Thursday, and I kind of like that. H- Yeah. Mm-hmm. All right. Hill, here's the hill I'ma die on. [00:51:00] 

Andrea: All right. Go, Gerry. 

Gerry: Why is our first day of school on the day Spiderman comes out? 

Andrea: That's not a hill.

That's a complaint. But you can, you can stay. It shouldn't come out on that day. I 

Gerry: had already got my movie ticket for it, and, and I, I can say this 'cause I'm not gonna do it. I was gonna take a personal day- 

Andrea: On 

Gerry: the first day of school? ... 

Andrea: and 

Gerry: go, leave at... I, I thought it was the fourth day of school. Oh. So I was gonna leave at 11:15, and I had tickets to see Spiderman, noon.

Andrea: Yeah. I'm 

Gerry: sorry. And I was gonna go watch Spiderman, the first showing that day, and then I found out it was the first day of school, so I just am gonna get my re- refund on the ticket. I'ma go, like, 3:30. 

Andrea: I was gonna say- As soon as I leave building ... so we're talking about a difference of, like, four hours? You can't wait four more hours to see this movie?

Gerry: You know on the internet that I'm on. I- ... it's gonna be a g- I, I, I, I'ma have to delete TikTok and Instagram and everything, like, the Thursday before. Sp- Spiderman's, like, your 

Molly: guy. 

Andrea: It... 

Gerry: Yeah. 

Andrea: Oh, yeah. To add another- It's been well established that's his guy You 

Gerry: don't 

Andrea: even know. But also, you could just not go on your [00:52:00] phone until you watch it.

Gerry: Yeah, but I'd, I, I'll I wanna watch it right away 

Andrea: I know 

Gerry: Because, like, this ain't where I'd normally be- be taping. I got, like, a little Spider-Man behind me. I got, I got, I got Spider-Man stuff- It's very serious ... everywhere. 

Molly: I didn't know this about 

Gerry: you. Yeah, I got a bunch of it. 

Molly: We're b- we're bonding already.

Andrea: It's beautiful. It's a 

Gerry: great first start. Oh, y- yeah. I got, I got some Spider-Man stuff. Yo, I should get, like, a little Spider-Man logo nose ring. 

Molly: No, get- get a little, get a little, uh, spider web. 

Andrea: That would be- That'd be 

Gerry: sick ... kinda cool as a 

Molly: spider web. That, that would be sick. There 

Gerry: you go. Spider web. I'ma get a Spider-Man tattoo on my leg.

Molly: Heck yeah. 

Andrea: Of course you are. 

Gerry: And I'ma send- Go ahead ... I, before I even post it, I'm sending the picture to Candy Neal. 

Andrea: I was gonna say, send it to my mom so she can disapprove. 

Gerry: I, yeah, I'll, I'll get a call from a San Diego area code. I'll be like, "Is this Telemarketing?" You will. She's like, "You did what?" 

Andrea: You know what your mom will say?

Is that your mom's name? Yeah, it is. Candy Neal. Um, and she won't be mad, but she will, she'll be disappointed, and that's okay. That's all right. 

Gerry: That's fine. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: Get, get in line, Mama Neal. [00:53:00] 

Andrea: Oh, my gosh. All right, guys. We did it. We made it r- through our first episode. That was good. Good job, guys. Good job, team.

Um, and our wonderful listeners, if you guys have thoughts about what we l- talked about today, we... What a ride. We hit a lot of topics. Really important PSA about colon cancer. Um, stuff about- I forgot about that ... professional development. Anyways, if you guys have thoughts about what we talked about today, you can hit us up, andrea@human-content.com.

You can contact me, @EducatorAndrea, on everything. And Gerry. 

Gerry: I'm @ComedybyGP on Instagram and TikTok. 

Andrea: And Molly. @

Molly: Miss.Dugan1 on Instagram and TikTok. 

Andrea: You did that so seamlessly. That was really good, Molly. Good job. 

Molly: Thank you. I'm getting better 

Gerry: from- You never praised me- ... the past ... for how seamlessly mine was.

Andrea: Because you always look like it's the first time I've asked you to tell people your @, so- Because I 

Gerry: feel, I s- I'm self-conscious that I don't have more shit. 

Molly: I don't 

Gerry: have more shit. I just have Instagram and TikTok. 

Molly: Me too. Huh? [00:54:00] It's okay. Me too. 

Andrea: It's all right, guys. We'll get there. It's all right. And you can contact the whole Human Content podcast family on Instagram and TikTok at humancontentpods.

Um, and if you wanna check out the full video episodes, they're up every single week on YouTube at Educator Andrea. Thank you so much for listening. I'm your host, Andrea Forkum. 

Gerry: I'm Gerry Patoka. 

Molly: I'm Molly Dugan. 

Andrea: Crushed it. And I, that, that totally... Like, I was so happy that we made it, I forgot what I was supposed to do next.

Our executive producers are Andrea Forkum, Aron Korney, Rob Goldman, and Shahnti Brooke. Our editor is Andrew Sims. Our engineer is Jason Portizo, and our music is by Omer Ben-Zvi. To learn more about How to Survive the Classroom's program disclaimer and ethics policy and submission verification and licensing terms, you can go to podcastorandrea.com.

How to Survive the Classroom is a Human Content production. 

Theme: How to Survive

Andrea: Thank you so much for watching. Want more of How to Survive the Classroom? [00:55:00] You can watch more episodes right now. Just click on that little box over there. You see it? And if you haven't yet, please subscribe. Okay, bye.

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