EPISODES & TRANSCRIPTIONS
Aug. 4, 2025
Should Superintendents Be Scared of Me?
This week? Oh, I just casually FIXED EDUCATION. You're welcome. Between moving houses (but like... literally down the street?) and talking to a room full of superintendents about what teachers really want to say (spoiler: they did not love the football metaphor), it's been A Week™. Also, y'all hit …
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July 28, 2025
Is This the Most Mortifying Moment in Classroom History?
This week’s episode dives into your craziest educator stories— including what has to be the mortifying moment in classroom history.
First, we’ve got a teacher who meant to say “stop jacking around” and... well, you can guess how that went. I lose it (obviously), because every teacher has had one…
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July 21, 2025
How Did We Get from Science Class to Testicle Talk?
I started this episode already on edge because a mysterious chip in my windshield had me spiraling into a full-blown Safelite conspiracy. And if you think that was wild, just wait until you hear what one of your fellow teacher besties found smeared under a student’s desk. (Spoiler: it’s exactly wha…
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July 14, 2025
Did Kourtney Kardashian Just Cancel Public School?
This week I went full trash-TV-to-education-policy mode after Kourtney Kardashian called public school “dated” and bragged about homeschool like she invented it. And y’all… I have thoughts. We’re talking 1% privilege, educational history, and why calling schools outdated is actually the most outdat…
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July 7, 2025
How Did a Normal School Day Turn Into a Raid?
This voicemail had me fully sweating. A teacher casually drops that a full SWAT team showed up at her school… and the kicker? It wasn’t even a drill. We’re talking lockdowns, military gear, weapons drawn, and a group of students who were just trying to get to lunch. And the reason they showed up? O…
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June 30, 2025
What Happens When a Pencil Meets a Butt?
I was feeling proud after successfully replacing an exterior light… until I dropped a screw into the mulch and my son roasted my bald husband mid-chaos. Classic. But that’s not even the wildest thing in this episode. I’m talking pencil-related injuries, fourth graders defending their moms’ honor in…
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June 23, 2025
Is There a Right Way to Ruin a Bathroom?
Let’s just say this episode covers a lot of... ground. From one very misplaced turd to a student-inspired staple surgery, I walk you through what can only be described as a masterclass in middle school madness. We’re talking scorched Chromebooks, poop-related investigations, and yes, whether you st…
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June 16, 2025
Did a 13-Year-Old Just Outsmart the School Firewall?
You ever discover something about your teacher that made your teenage brain short-circuit? Yeah, me too. So this week, I dove headfirst into the teacher lore rabbit hole, because nothing says professional development like finding out your music teacher once chucked a desk at a kid. Oh, and remember…
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June 9, 2025
Hallway. Now. Before I Start Laughing.
This week, I had a full-circle moment as a burnt-out teacher turned soccer mom… and then immediately pivoted to unpacking a story where a fourth grader threw up peace signs and declared his love for a very adult body part during writing time.
You know—balance.
We’re talking about teachers sur…
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June 2, 2025
He Threatened to Poop on My Desk
It’s Episode 50, and honestly… what better way to celebrate than with a voicemail about a student who threatened to poop on a teacher’s desk?
This week, I’m unpacking end-of-year exhaustion (May energy is real and it’s violent), plus the wildest school stories you sent in—including kids confessi…
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May 26, 2025
The Ballad of Bastards and Grammy Nominee, Five for Fighting
This week, I’m talking to literal Grammy-nominated musical legend John Ondrasik—aka Five for Fighting—about education, mentorship, Costco carts, and how he’s working to put real music teachers back in underfunded schools. (Also, I tried not to ugly cry while listening to “100 Years” on loop. Mostly…
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May 19, 2025
There Will Be Smoke
Teachers, you know it's gonna be a weird week when you're prepping comedy for a room full of principals— including ones you still have to work with. Am I nervous? Yes. Am I planning to open with “remember your why”? Also yes. Let chaos reign.
This week, I’m sharing my behind-the-scenes prep for …
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May 12, 2025
Shrek Is Still Haunting Me
So, we changed the name. Welcome to How To Survive the Classroom —you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.
In this kickoff to the new era, I’m diving into two of the most unhinged teacher submissions I’ve ever heard—one involving a movie mishap that will haunt you and another featuring a hall…
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May 5, 2025
The Secret Tapes of a Teacher with Charles Fournier
What do a lead-painted door, a rubberized body part in a middle school backpack, and the KKK showing up to a school in the ‘80s have in common? Absolutely nothing—except they’re all packed into this episode.
Today, I’m kicking things off solo with chaotic home improvement updates (including whic…
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May 5, 2025
I Accidentally Pressed Play on WHAT?!
So, we changed the name. Welcome to How To Survive the Classroom—you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.
In this kickoff to the new era, I’m diving into two of the most unhinged teacher submissions I’ve ever heard—one involving a movie mishap that will haunt you and another featuring a hallw…
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May 2, 2025
Season Two: Teachers Gone Wild
We’re back! No, you’re not crazy — we’ve got a new title (How to Survive the Classroom) and a new mission in life. Thanks to your feedback (and my team’s deeply concerning need for gossip), we’re kicking off Season Two with a brand new twist: real call-ins, real confessions, and real chaos from edu…
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