Raising Andrea: A Mother’s Day Special

Andrea: [00:00:00] My mom comes in clutch so often it's actually insane. Like when we, when we lived with her, we often called her like the laundry fairy and like cookies and like we would put rotten bananas out. On the other side of the house and it would magically turn into banana bread,

Theme: the classroom. 

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Because if there is a way that you can screw up, I've probably done it. It also has advice on how to build trust with families, how to manage grading and lesson plans and IEPs and everything else that they never went over in your teacher prep program. They never taught us. That is available everywhere right now.[00:01:00] 

Hey, teacher besties. Welcome to a very, very special episode of how to Survive the classroom. I am Andrea Foram. 

Gerry: I'm Gerry Patoka 

Andrea: And today the guest we have is my mom, Kandy Neal. Hi mom. 

Candi: Hi. 

Andrea: And I Hi 

Gerry: Andrew's mom. 

Candi: Hi Jerry. 

Andrea: And I will say that like Jerry texted me earlier and said like, is it Mrs. Neal? And it is, but that's not how you were referred to.

Pretty much at all when I was growing up, everyone just called you Mama Neil was, was how everyone referenced you. So you can also call her mama Neil. Jerry. 

Gerry: Okay. Well I wanna share this one little Diddy before we get rolling. Mama Neil. Oh boy. Because I texted Andrea that I wanted to be able to refer to you properly and I said, Hey, what's your, what's your mom's last name?

And you know, an Andrea said, really? Because how my, like how was I supposed, she was like, my parents have been married for 45 years. I was like, okay, well I didn't marry them. I wasn't there. Okay, [00:02:00] Jerry. And, and she don't understand that in the Carolinas we mix and match some of these names. I don't know exactly what my mom's last name is right now.

Andrea: We're gonna find out, uh, this later this week when we do our episode with Jerry's mom. For sure. 

Gerry: We all learn together. 

Andrea: I know, I know. So, um, guys, we had got some questions submitted for my mom, um, and I'm gonna kind of toss to Jerry here 'cause I know that he also got some other questions. Do you have anything you wanna like start out with Jerry?

Gerry: I got some good ones. I told an, Andrea sent me some that her followers sent in. But I also want all little side quests. 

Andrea: Oh, 

Gerry: and, uh, I, I texted, um, a few people that me and Andrea know very dearly and said, Hey, I need to know what to ask. Did, did you, did you text? So I'm open 

Andrea: fill and fill and Gasper. Is that who you text?

Or, or Steven, 

Gerry: yeah. Yeah. 

Andrea: All three. Oh, no, 

Gerry: all of them. 

Andrea: Okay, great. 

Gerry: And I, [00:03:00] so I was told to ask Andrea in front of you. Who the president of North and South America is.

Andrea: Who did you ask that question? It, it could have been any 

Candi: of the above. 

Andrea: I mean, it 

Gerry: could have been any of 'em. 

Andrea: Alright, so the guys 

Gerry: who's the president of North and South America, 

Andrea: listen, I had. A subpar geography teacher in school, I would say, um, I'm gonna partially blame her, although in, in her defense I did ask the question like it was like freshman year or sophomore year, unfortunately, of geography class.

And, um, I was a little confused because they were talking about, uh, like the Southern United States. And we also, I'm staring while she's talking about the Southern United States, I'm staring at one of those giant maps of the world that has all the continents on it [00:04:00] and it's got South America there and it's got North America there.

And I was thinking in my brain on some level that what she was talking about, and at that time it was President Bush, um, and she was talking about something about Southern United States politics. And I was like, wait. Is President Bush, the president of South America too. And unfortunately that has been a question that has been, um, followed me through all of life and now is coming here and I don't even know where you would've gotten that embarrassing question.

Um, but now I am aware that they are, are different continents and that South America is not a country but a continent. And nor, and North America, also not a country continent. So. There you go. So glad you were able to dig that one up for me, Jerry. 

Candi: Uh, geography. You know, that's a tough one. She grew up in Southern California pretty much her entire life.

Andrea: It's not my [00:05:00] strength, right? It's not my strength is always 

Candi: how you would No, she has so many other strengths. You know, you only have so much bandwidth to, that's right. To retain certain strengths, Jerry. So, 

Andrea: yeah. 

Gerry: See to me, Southern California is already another country. 'cause like, I don't even know if y'all got cows out there.

Candi: There. 

Gerry: It's, I've seen some cows today. 

Andrea: It, it's like a very agricultural state actually. People don't know that. 

Gerry: Yeah. 

Andrea: But it actually does like, provide fire. A lot of like fire. That's true. 

Candi: Fire. When it fire does burn down, does fire. But little bit of trivia. Do you know that there is an area close to where we live in Southern California where there are more horses per capita than the rest of the United States?

Where in, um, down in Del Mar. 

Andrea: Real. Oh, be, wait, 

Gerry: what? What would they be doing? Like what do the horses do? They just like, they race 'em down there. 

Candi: Race them? Yeah, they're down there. Our 

Gerry: racetracks. I know. They was just like hanging out or, 

Candi: well, they do that too, but yeah, 

Gerry: they might even do, I wanna gimme a horse when I get rich.

I'm gonna give a horse. [00:06:00] 

Andrea: Are you? 

Candi: Well, 

Gerry: nah, I can't even have fish. I can't even fly. 

Andrea: Yeah. My mom, uh, is the same way about pets. Actually. She doesn't, she doesn't have any pets. In fact, I was. Deeply neglected as a child because my parents refused for like all of my childhood to get us a dog. And it wasn't until my youngest brother was, I think he was like five or six, so I was like, almo.

I was like in middle school at this point. And then finally they got us a dog and so I didn't even really get to hang out with him that much. They only the best 

Candi: dog ever. 

Andrea: He was the best dog ever. And they only did it because they love my younger brother the most. So 

Candi: that's the, that's the, he's the only one who got a dog, but however, he was a yellow lab and strictly an outside dog.

Andrea: Yeah. Which you can do in California. Yeah. 

Gerry: So, so 

Andrea: there you go. 

Gerry: So, so how many, how many Neil children are there? 

Candi: Four. 

Gerry: Four. 

Candi: Four. Just four. [00:07:00] I came from a family of 12. I 

Gerry: thought there was two. Oh, 

Candi: no, no, no. I came from a family of 12, so I just had four. 

Gerry: Yeah, those 

Andrea: Catholics. 

Gerry: So which is your favorite? 

Candi: Oh, you know, I would never say favorite and don't, none of 

Gerry: that.

You don't have a favorite. You got, 

Candi: here's what I say, one of popped 

Gerry: in your head while I said that, and you're 

Candi: like, here's, here's what I would say is that there have been seasons where one child or another has been easier. To work with and to, um, to be around. Um, it was not in junior high for Andrea. 

Andrea: I was great in junior high.

I don't know what you mean by that. 

Candi: Yeah, 

Gerry: I get what, so what was junior high, Andrea? Like, like what, what was she doing? 

Candi: Everything you think about with junior high, she was just, you know. Andrea was being Andrea. She was, uh, spicy and um, lots of energy. Lots, lots of [00:08:00] feelings. 

Andrea: Lots of feelings. She put me in therapy.

Gerry: Is there anything that sticks out? Like anything, anything she ever did or anything y'all ever got into, whether it's 

Candi: uhhuh 

Gerry: funny, what, is there anything that sticks out like in your mind of like, yeah, here's my junior high Andrea story. 

Candi: So when we went, uh, for her school, every eighth grade class did an East Coast trip, which is very common.

Uh, and so we went on this trip and there were three other girls that were in our room or whatever, and Andrea was just being a pill. She was just being awful. And she was complaining to me about how these girls were not being nice to her. And I looked at her and I said, Andrea, it's because you're being a bitch.

And she said, and she looked at me and she's like, mom, that's not fair. And I said, I'm sorry. That's the truth. And so when we got back, [00:09:00] uh, I, uh, worked in a church office and I asked one of the pastors there, I said, can you please talk to her? Can you please talk to her? And. So she went in and she had a little chat with this, uh, pastor who is wonderful, wonderful man.

And about an hour later, 45 minutes, an hour later, whatever, she walks out and she's just Bebopping, okay mom, see you later. And he walks out and he looks at me with this big grin on his face and he said, she's gonna be just fine. And it was like he saw the personality. He said, it may get better before it gets.

You know, our worst before it gets better. But it didn't, that was eighth grade was I think the worst. And then she was, yeah, she was, uh, Andrea was a rule follower, so she wasn't, you know, she wasn't awful. 

Andrea: I was, 

Candi: yeah. And honest to a fault. 

Andrea: Yes. And I will say part of the issue in middle school was that I was dealing with for the first time, like [00:10:00] the hormone rage of PMS and all that.

And, um, my mom's protecting me a little bit in that story by not saying that in, in me being such a bitch. I was complaining the whole time about the fact that I was PMSing and that I just, like, it wasn't my fault that I was being a bitch. And part of that story was my mom was like, people don't know that you're PMSing.

They just know you're being a bitch. I'm like, well, well, that they should understand. And she's like, it, they actually don't, like they don't care that, that, that part doesn't matter. Yeah. Yeah. They 

Candi: don't care. 

Andrea: So we, we fought a lot about that, and then we fought a lot about dress code. Oof a lot about dress code and part of the problem is my mom was, uh, part of the problem with the dress code because she was on the school board, and so she set the dress code.

And then if I broke dress code, she'd call in and she'd snitch on me. 

Candi: True 

Andrea: story for being out of dress code. When she dropped me off, if she didn't realize before we got to school that I was out of dress code, she'd call and be like, Andrea's out of dress code. Go get her. 

Candi: Yeah. 

Andrea: And they did. 

Candi: True story.

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: So Mom and Neil, were you, you were on the [00:11:00] school board, were you a teacher before that? 

Candi: No. Okay. I just, uh, I was on the school board for like 14 years. It was a small school. 

Gerry: Okay. 

Candi: I didn't really care that much about dress code in terms of hair, clothing, uh, but if we were going to have a dress code, then enforce it.

We're not gonna enforce it. Yeah. Don't have, and so then as a person on helping establish it, I looked at her and I said, Andrea, that is not on dress code. That is not on dress code. Oh, yes, it's, yes, it's. And so I said, really? So she got out the car and I called the principal and I said, Andrea is so out of dress code, you'd best trust her.

And they did 

Andrea: such a snitch. Such a snitch. 

Gerry: So got me immediately. So school, was it just for this school or was this like county level? 

Candi: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 

Andrea: It was just the school I went to. Just small private school. 

Candi: Yeah. 

Gerry: Okay. 

Andrea: You would, you would think it being a smaller school, you wouldn't deal with as much hassle, but actually I think that it's [00:12:00] harder.

To be on a school board of like a small private school where people are paying tuition because then they feel. Um, much more entitled to demand things of you. Um, and I can say that as some, 'cause I, later, when I was living in California, three years of my time out there, I actually worked at that school.

So I got to interact with some of the parent, not the same parents obviously, but um, the same kind of group. And it can be incredibly painful having to deal with, uh, private school parents. So, yeah. And 

Candi: there 

Andrea: it 

Candi: was. And you know, for a lot of the parents, they were, they were frustrated and they needed a target for their anger and frustration.

Yeah. And the school board was a great place to vent that anger. 

Andrea: That's right. 

Candi: But somehow I survived 

Andrea: Uhhuh. 

Gerry: There we go. So when was it you? You, was there a time where it clicked like, oh, Andrea May go into education, or was that like a ball she dropped on you? Oh 

Candi: no. Oh no. Mm-hmm. Andrea was [00:13:00] hands down. I tell this story all the time.

Andrea was hands down, our worst student. I, I just would tell her, Andrea, just do your homework. It gives you options. It gives you options. And on her, I remember on her wedding day she had, um, she had completed two years, basically had her associates. And I said to her husband, I said, please make sure that she completes her degree.

And I said, 'cause she'll never forgive herself. And then she, as she is always an overachiever, she got her bachelor's, two master's of PhD and then went into education, which is, is humorous because, but that's why she's such a good teacher because she gets those students that are not natural students. I have a couple of those too.

Uh, and uh, but Andrea was not the natural teacher 

Gerry: where you say she was the worst student of [00:14:00] your kids, but an overachiever, where's the. Was it like she struggled with the stuff, just didn't wanna do it. Where, where does that become like worst student becomes overachiever Because me, hardcore bad student, hardcore underachiever right here, they're, they're together.

They're hand in hand. Like, no, nobody, you, I know's gonna argue about that. I never hear worse. Student of the poor and then overachiever. 

Candi: Well, because Andrea is very competitive. So, so if you tell her she cannot do something, even to this day, she says, okay, line drawn in the sand, I will complete that. And so, 

Gerry: okay.

Candi: She was, I probably, if we look back on it, a lot of it was her A DHD, because so much of her educational stuff was disorganization. When I say she wasn't. A, a good student, it's, it basically, she didn't hand stuff in. [00:15:00] She would do it, but she would lose it. Or it would be stuff, she would stuff things in her, in her locker and then have to push it and then quickly shut the door because everything otherwise would fall out.

And, um, 

Andrea: it's like, it's like how I keep my Tupperware drawers organized now 

Candi: until I come to reorganize them. 

Andrea: That's 

Candi: right. Yeah. Yeah. So, but. So she would do the things and all the teachers loved her because with the exceptional one, but the, but the teachers overall, because she was fun to have in class. So that was, it was, wasn't that she was just, well, I shouldn't say she wasn't disruptive 'cause she always loved a good laugh, but she was entertaining from day one.

Andrea: That's right. Yeah. 

Gerry: Okay. Back. Andrea's wedding day, you made her husband Steven Promise to, uh, make her get her degree. What, what are, what are [00:16:00] these thoughts on this husband, Steven? How we feel about Steven? 

Candi: Oh, I love Steven. This 

Gerry: is a question from the boys. 

Candi: Okay. No question from the boys. You know, here's the deal, Steven, well, Steven lived and they lived in our home for six years, so, oh, we got to know.

So they married two year two, uh, they married in two weeks. After they married, they moved to Virginia. So I thought, okay, Andrea's gone. She'll never be under the same roof. And so then they lived with us for six years. So we got to know, we got to know each other very well, and I have great respect for what he has achieved and also how he loves my daughter.

Well, and he is her, his, he is her greatest cheerleader. He is a great daddy. And, um, you know, it's just like, how can, how can I not celebrate that? So, yeah, I love Steven. He's, 

Andrea: yeah, 

Candi: he's a good guy. 

Andrea: [00:17:00] Yeah, 

Gerry: they told, we asked that I thought there was gonna be some tea. I was gonna be like, why I thoughts in the kitchen?

Andrea: Oh my gosh, no, there's no tea. Well, and I, I think to specify also, 'cause um, the reason we ended up moving, because, so we lived in Virginia for like 7, 8, 9 years. I can't remember how long. And then, uh, when Steven went back to go to PA school, my parents were kind enough to allow us to move in with them so that I could work as a teacher and Steven could focus full-time on his studies.

Mm-hmm. And then he started PA school while we were still living with my parents, and then we moved to Indiana. So, yeah, that it, it was a very long road and one that I think we were really lucky. 'cause then now my, like our kids have real memories of Nana and Bops house. That's what my kids call my parents.

And, um, it's really cute because now they, they have rosemary bushes in their backyard, and now every time my son smells rosemary, he's like, oh, it smells like Nana's house. Like, Aw, 

Candi: so 

Andrea: sweet. 

Candi: And that, and that was one I was gonna say, don't [00:18:00] forget the kids because, uh, both the kids were born while they lived in, um, in our home.

And so we got to build those relationships, which my kids never had the opportunity because they never lived by grandparents. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Candi: So I was. That was, that was a major treat for us and we talk about that all the time. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: Okay. So we talked about Steven, what about tho those who came before who didn't make the cut?

Do you have any Andrea stories? Andrea, Andrea's, ex-boyfriends? 

Candi: Uh, you know what, Andrea didn't really date much before Steven. Steven was her first and true, and, uh, first love. Um, there was never anybody. Never anybody serious. I mean, yeah, she may have gone on a few dates, but it was not anything Steven.

Yeah, Steven was, um, what do they say? The, the, um, uh, the original [00:19:00] for Andrea? 

Andrea: Yeah. Yeah. 

Candi: Stole and then, and the story. 

Andrea: Yeah. I, I dated, uh, that one guy, Wayne, when I worked at Legoland when I was 16. 

No, 

Andrea: for like swag. A month and then he kissed me and it grossed me out. And I was like, I actually think we're good here.

Um. 

Gerry: Yeah, because you got kissed by a dude you met working at Legoland. 

Andrea: Hey, hey. Whoa, whoa. 

Candi: I love that. She loved 

Andrea: that job. I loved working at Legoland. 

Gerry: I said that, and they can't, people listening can't see. I'm wearing a Marvel shirt. 

Andrea: A Marvel shirt with like your little, uh, Spider-Man dolls are probably right around you somewhere.

Uh, 

Gerry: yeah. 

Andrea: Yeah. There you go. I 

Gerry: bought Darth Vader before I got on the podcast. Yeah, 

Andrea: it's very cool. Yeah. Yeah. 

Gerry: 15 bucks. You can't be, I'll be finding that deal for these toys. 

Candi: They're gonna, you're gonna be able to retire on them, right? Because of all the money you're gonna make from them. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Gerry: Oh.

Andrea: Um, okay. I think that this is [00:20:00] a good point for us to take a really quick break, so we will take a break and be right back.

Have you ever wondered what I would say if my mother and my administrators weren't watching every single thing I do on social media? Well, that's exactly what my standup show is, and I'm gonna be coming to a town near you super soon. You can get tickets@educatorandrea.com slash tickets. Welcome back, teacher besties.

So we are, we are still here hanging out with my mom, and I was trying to figure out in the break where, where all of those questions are, are coming, coming from. So, um, you know, we can have follow up conversations with the people who submitted some of these questions, but, um, cherry, what, what else you got?

Gerry: What's a, what's a, uh, here, here was one that was popular. What's like a weird quirk? Andrea either has a kid, has a kid, has now something that's. Carried over. Um, preferably if there's one that you know of that you've never talked to [00:21:00] her about, this is a good place to hash that out. 

Candi: A weird work? 

Gerry: Yeah. Like, like does she like bite your fingertips or something?

Like, does she eat hair? What she do? Oh, 

Candi: eat hair 

Gerry: to my e hair. 

Candi: Yeah. I, I had a friend who twirled the hair and the crown of her head to the point that she lost mine, kind of bald. Is that how I did? Okay. Yeah, sure. 

Yeah, 

Gerry: you did. Yeah. 

Candi: You did a lot of twirl in there. Jerry 

Gerry: Fat bald guy did some eating on plant.

Candi: You know, I don't, you know, the, the things that Andrea did, um, you'll have to ask her about the, the, uh, her, her go-to, her go-to at, uh, summer camp. That she, her, her weird skill that she could do. 

Gerry: Oh, 

Andrea: I do have a special skill. This is weird. That is true. Here's the [00:22:00] thing, 

Gerry: yoyo or something? 

Andrea: No, 

Candi: no. 

Andrea: It's terrible.

Anytime I show this on the internet, it always seems awful and I have to move the, the microwave for me when I do it because it will make a noise a little bit. Um, so. When, when, when I was a kid, one of the things we would watch as a family was America's Funniest Home Videos. And there was one episode where one of the people had a tongue trick that they could do, and most people can do like the, the clover, you know, like, uh, uh, I don't know if I can do it.

They can do the clover or they can flip their tongue all the way around, but I can actually, um, roll my tongue like an ocean. Um, and I will, I will now show, 

Candi: I have to show it. Show. Andrea, 

Andrea: if you are only listening, this might be the moment that you transition over into YouTube. 

Gerry: Oh, I don't like that. No, no, that, that made me feel uncomfortable.

I don't [00:23:00] like that. 

Andrea: Um, I, I will say it was really unfortunate because I, we, we always, for um, our youth group that I went, we would always go on a trip and we would always have this, um, like, like weird, like special skills, you know, talent competition. And I did that and there was one time where the, the youth pastor who we're, you know, very close with, he's a, he's a really good guy and I just think it just.

He meant it in a completely different way than it sounds, but he, I did that, and then he said, oh wow, your husband is gonna be so proud of you someday. Thinking like, oh, you've got a great skill. Not like in a sexual way, but the look you just gave was the same look everyone else gave, and you could see it on his face when he realized what he had said and how that immediately is going to come across.

Everyone was horrified, including him and his wife, and everyone was just like, oh. No, no, no, no, no. Which, I mean, I have accidentally said some things in class that like came [00:24:00] across so wrong and I'm like, oh, that's not what I, that's not, I didn't mean it like that, but sometimes things just, you know, 

Candi: well, it's just 

Andrea: happens.

Candi: It's a little bit surprising since he is also the one that married you that he never, 

Andrea: that he 

Candi: did not bring that. I 

Andrea: mean, thank God that you didn't bring that up at the, my wedding ceremony. That would be insane. 

Candi: I know. 

Andrea: Um, yeah, I don't see, that is really interesting. I, I don't have that, like, that many quirks.

I do have a pinky that's smaller than the other. 

Candi: Oh. 

Andrea: Because my brother crushed it on the growth plate. My mom 

Candi: defense. 

Andrea: He, he did. 

Gerry: Whoa. It's like noticeably smaller. 

Andrea: Yeah. And it's also shaped, if you just look at this pinky, I'm gonna try and do it like that. Um, it also, like you can, you can't really tell when I've got my acrylic on, but it does look like a child's finger because even the nail bed is wide, like a kid's.

It's very strange. But it crushed on the growth plate. And so now I have like a Benjamin Button finger, um, on one hand. And my mom and I both have split Velas. 

Candi: [00:25:00] True story. 

Andrea: I can't believe you didn't. Yeah. That's our fun little quirk. Do you know what a uvula is, Jerry? 

Gerry: It's the thing in the back of the throat, right?

Andrea: Good job. 

Gerry: Job. You know, you could see it on my face again. If they people are listening, they ain't see it. You could see on my face where I went. What the hell's a uvula? But somebody else told me recently they have split U uvula. 

Andrea: Yeah, it's actually cleft palate. 

How 

Gerry: many are there? 

Andrea: Uh, my daughter has it as well.

I've carried it on another generation. Uhhuh. I don't even, 

Gerry: I have one. 

Andrea: Well, 

Candi: yes, everybody has a uvula. 

Andrea: You do? 

Gerry: What does it 

do? 

Candi: That it's when your pallet comes together. So your pallet starts out in development, separate it, and then it comes together and it forms the uvula. Well, ours did not, uh, forged together Totally.

Andrea: Yep. And so it is technically like a partially cleft palate. And it does make me wonder if like, if I had married someone who also had a, a genetic predisposition for a [00:26:00] cleft palate if like, our kids might have had some more severe issues. But thankfully, so far, so good. And it's just been a weird uvula.

It's now three generations strong. I don't know of any other family member that has it, but there you go. Now you have like three or four things that are super weird about me. 

Candi: The other thing that Andrea, I have such vivid memories is that we lived in a home that had the stairway was kind of in the middle, and she would just go around that circle nonstop because she had to be moving.

Andrea, when she was little as long, she was the happiest baby and she, as long as she was moving, so she was in that swing nonstop. And then of course, that's why, um, roller blades. You know, were her, were her secret weapon. 'cause she just flew all around the neighborhood. But that's quirkiness. Yeah. I, you know, not, not real.

Nothing that you could blackmail her with. [00:27:00] Jerry. Sorry. 

Gerry: So how, um, how similar would you say, um, an Andrea at her current kids' age, how similar was Andrea to her children as they are now? 

Candi: Uh, 

Gerry: or that you see any similarities between 

Candi: Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. Well, with her oldest primarily there because there's a lot of energy and also just was so happy as, as a baby, not, I mean, you'd walk in the room and she had a grin on her face and that reminded me so much of Andrea at that age, um, her.

Son was a little bit more of a, a grumpy monkey, uh, like her dad, his dad, um, but yeah, her daughter is, is she was just all always smiles and also very [00:28:00] tenderhearted. And Andrea was that way too. 

Andrea: Not anymore. Now I'm dead inside. 

Gerry: When Andrea was a kid, did she ever threaten to kick someone outta your house because her daughter did that to me.

When I was there, 

Candi: no, the 

Gerry: father said, can you leave now? I'm like, man, look, I, I dunno what I'm doing in my life. 

Candi: Were you, uh, breaking the rule? 

Gerry: No, I was just existing. He, I just was alive. 

Andrea: He was just a guest in our home and she felt he had overstayed his welcome. He was sitting there, we were all hanging out.

Um, and my daughter said, uh, when are you leaving? Because he was just chilling. And she thought that that was an unacceptable way of spending his Sunday. 

Candi: Well, 

Andrea: um, she was ready for him to get out. 

Candi: So I'll tell you that when we go to our other grandchildren's house, uh, as soon as we. As soon as we say we're leaving, uh, the youngest one says, bye bye.

And the other one goes to the door and [00:29:00] opens up the front door, and then, oh my gosh, if we don't, uh, leave immediately. I thought you said you were leaving. 

Andrea: Is this Becca or 

Candi: no, 

Andrea: Amanda? Yes. 

Candi: Amanda's 

Andrea: got it. 

Candi: It's there, there, you know, because don't say things that you don't mean. So if you're Yeah, you say you're gonna leave, then leave already.

Andrea: Yeah. You've raised generations of kids with integrity and they expect people to follow through on their word. Absolutely. 

Candi: Absolutely. That's, yeah, 

Andrea: that's what 

Gerry: happens. That, that, that's what this kid did to me because I, I had, I planned to leave at like nine and then it kept getting pushed back and I didn't have a plan for how, how I was going home when I was gonna get home.

I was just moving through a wind and she was like, you know what, uh, I don't know where you're gonna be. You gotta go somewhere. You gotta get to step out. I was like, alright. 

Candi: Was she ready to go to bed? 

Andrea: No, it was like, it was like 1:00 PM I think. But, and, and like I was sitting there like trying to help Jerry find like a good hotel or a good stopping point and all of that, and [00:30:00] my daughter was just like, you, it's actually time for you to go right now.

Like, I, you're ruining the vibe on this couch. Funny. I don't know what her deal was. It was, it was pretty funny. 

Candi: Yeah. 

Andrea: And then 

Candi: doesn't, she loves having company. 

Andrea: She does, but apparently Jerry had, you know, he was just, she was done. She was like, that 

Gerry: was like day one of. Flew McDon that went through your 

Andrea: house.

Gerry: Yes. 

Andrea: So well, and we didn't even realize it at that point. We didn't know that we were sick until like the next day. But also, I think Jerry, really here's what it is, is you, you told her that you were gonna tell your girlfriend the tooth fairy, that her teeth were green. 

Theme: Oh, I did 

Andrea: do that. And she took that personally, like at first, like she immediately got very upset and looked like she was about to cry, and Jerry's like, oh, I was kidding.

I'm not gonna say that, but I think that that's, that's really what it was, is she's like, you know, and I'm actually done with you. You can get out. 

Candi: She really doesn't handle sarcasm Well, 

Andrea: she does too. [00:31:00] She's my child. 

Candi: Yes, 

Andrea: she's 

Candi: fine. But, but I mean, when you're talking about something personal, she's, 

Andrea: yeah, 

Candi: because she's so tenderhearted.

Yeah. She takes it very seriously. 

Gerry: Tell her the, uh, tooth fairy broke up with me. See if that makes her feel any better. 

Andrea: I'll, I'll let her know after this. I'll tell her. She'll probably send you like a condolences card. May that hand handcrafted and mailed by her. I guarantee you. Because she, you know, she cares about people.

She's just trying to make sure everyone's, you know, okay. 

Candi: Yeah. 

Andrea: And taken care of. So that's. That's my girl. Uh, did you have any, uh, final questions, Jerry? 

Gerry: Yeah, so I, um, what's some, so I asked about what, uh, a talent that you had or that I have some sort of hidden skill? No. For Andrea, what is one that you have?

Mama Neil. What's Andrea? What's one that Mama Neil has that sticks out? Something she can do or something she's done that sticks out? 

Andrea: I mean, my mom comes in clutch so often it's actually insane. Like when [00:32:00] we, when we lived with her, we often called her like the laundry fairy and like cookies and like we would put rotten bananas out.

On the other side of the house and it would magically turn into banana bread. Like, you know how people talk about like their love languages and stuff like that, and they talk about like, oh, like, you know, your words of affirmation or quality time. And it just like, my, my mom's way of showing her love for sure is acts of service.

Like every time she comes and, and hangs out with us, like, like my Tupperware cabinet will get reorganized. Um, uh, like right before we moved from our last house, all of a sudden I had drawer liners in all of my pantry. Um, like things get painted. My and my dad is the same way. So we have to sometimes like talk them, like give direction before we leave of like, don't, don't do X, Y, and Z.

We can't have you doing any of that. But if you do have a wild hair and you wanna do something, you know, here's some of the [00:33:00] things that, that we could use. And al almost always, it gets done and then there are just such good. Grandparents. Um, which like, like my mom said, like that's something I re like, not that my grandparents are bad grandparents, but like my mom came from a family of 12 kids.

My grandfather, who is still alive, he is 99 years old guys, um, turning a hundred this summer. We're gonna go to his birthday party. Um, and, and he's wonderful, but I mean, he had, how, how many grandkids? 39 did they have? 39 grandkids, many of whom lived close. And so even if we had done everything we possibly could to reach out, which I didn't, um, then it still would've been really hard to maintain like a really close relationship with.

My grandparents just because they had so many. And then on my dad's side, they also just lived further away. Um, and so because of that, I especially appreciate the efforts that my parents make to have a relationship with my kids, to like [00:34:00] come and stay and hang out and know, like ask questions of the kids on, like know what they're interested in and where they're at with things because I know.

A lot of people that don't have that situation or that relationship with their parents, where they're excited to have their parents come and spend time with their kids and spend time with them. Um, so I think that that's one of the main ones. I think my mom was most well known when I was in school for her baking.

Um, mama Neil's cookie company was a thriving business for many years of my childhood. 

Candi: It depends on how you de describe thriving. 

Andrea: S spiritually Thriving. Okay. 

Candi: Not financially 

Andrea: thriving. 

Candi: Not financially. Yeah. 

Gerry: However, I was, I've, I've heard the lore of these cookies. 

Yeah. 

Gerry: And I'm gonna get out there. 

Andrea: So good.

Candi: It's, it's so, 

Andrea: so 

Candi: good. It's, I, I, I, I saw an apron recently that I thought, oh, I'm getting that. I'm gonna make that. And it's, uh, says baking. It's how I hug. [00:35:00] 

Andrea: Yeah. It truly, and, 

Gerry: and listen, when I come out there, I'm not taking my GLP one for a few days. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm open some real estate up. I'm, I'm gonna cook you it up, man.

Yeah. I'm gonna leave the pills of the house. 

Andrea: Yeah, there 

Candi: you go. 

Andrea: They're so, so good. And my, my mom's just also very crafty. Like you, like she's got her sewing room now. But even when we were kids, I'm actually, I'm trying to channel you mom because for my son's birthday I'm gonna have like a nineties era style birthday party.

Are 

Candi: are doing dye? 

Andrea: I might maybe, maybe i'll, so I mean 

Candi: the 

Andrea: birth, 

Candi: the tie dye, 

Andrea: the birthday parties that you used to throw. One year we did tie dye. One year we did sand candles. One year you did a paintball party? Yeah. So it's like different kinds of sand that you pour, pour in different colors 

Candi: of sand, and then you would beach, put the wax, 

Andrea: but it's wax sand, so then it turns into a candle.

Oh. So everyone leaves with their own candle. Um, [00:36:00] you did a paintball party for Mark just like every time. It was like this very creative, fun thing. Um. And so I'm trying to like really like lock in and channel you and Becca, my, my younger sister to try and really host a party at my house. But, um, yeah, I just, I like you, you're a renaissance woman of creativity.

I feel like, because there's a lot of different creatives and crafts and stuff that I would say, I think that the only type of like craft that you haven't really pursued. Is cooking, like you bake 

Candi: right? 

Andrea: A lot. It's 

Candi: a different, but you just, it's definitely a different skill. 

Andrea: Yeah, 

Candi: it's, 

Andrea: yeah. 

Candi: Yeah. It's, 

Andrea: but I can't think of like anything that's like domestically leaning that you haven't.

Really done a ton. Like cooking is really the only one that you like. It's not, and and to be clear, she did make us dinner every night. It just wasn't like that wasn't where she poured her time and energy. [00:37:00] And like 

Candi: if I, creativity, yeah. I've said many times if I had to choose between a housekeeper and a full-time cook, I would take the cook hands down.

I don't, I just, just to spend hours on a meal that. Either number one is consumed in 10 minutes or is refused because it's not what people want to eat, to me is not very gratifying, as opposed to baked goods, where pretty much universally people are excited. 

Andrea: Yeah, 

Candi: you know, I, everyones excited about a cookie, coffee cake, cinnamon rolls, cookies, pies, cakes, and I have fun with the cakes and stuff so.

Andrea: Best. 

Candi: It's easier. The 

Gerry: best. So, so next to like baking, what kind of like cr craft, or what would be the right word? Not maybe, what was the word? Like 

Candi: hobby. 

Gerry: Hobby. Yeah. What, [00:38:00] what, um, what was, what's the most gratifying or what's your favorite to do? Are 

Candi: they 

Gerry: Is 

Candi: sewing. Sewing. Sewing. Okay. I really, I've gotten into, um.

Quilting and I am a very much of a, a simple quilter. I see these beautiful, beautiful works of art. Mine are all machine quilted and I do a lot of baby blankets. Uh, they're to be used and abused and washed and whatever, but, uh, I real, it's a gateway drug because, uh, there's no way you can have enough fabric.

And of course, there's always another machine that you can do bigger and better. And then I just recently have gotten into making stuffed animals, quilted stuffed animals, which are very funny. 

Gerry: Oh, 

Andrea: yeah. I will say 

Gerry: too, like, so what you're saying is, I'm gonna get me a little quilt and a little stuffed Jerry while I come to, oh, 

Candi: oh my gosh.

Gerry: California. There you 

Candi: go. Yeah. Yeah. 

Gerry: I'm about to figure out how, why, [00:39:00] 

Candi: well, I believe in you, Jerry, make 

Gerry: some 

Candi: calls. I believe that you can get the proper identification that will en, that will enable you to be able to play I believe in you. That's 

Andrea: right. We do. And I I do think also we should specify that like my mom's focus on whatev, like whatever craft or hobby.

She's like, you asked what's most gratifying that has changed over the years because we have like hand painted like little wooden. Would you call 'em like figurines kind of a thing? Like 

Candi: there's, they're just little, they were ma cut out of Pinewood and then I paint them just, and then as a matter of fact, my granddaughters, um, I have one that's 20 months old and we had her for three days and she was in there playing with these little hand painted, they're about, eh, three inches tall and I hand paint 'em.

She's and I, there's probably, I don't know, 30, 40 of 'em, and she's in there playing with them the same way that, that Andrea and Becca played with them. 30 plus years ago. Yeah. 

Andrea: And you And you I was gonna say, and you may put them together 30 years ago. Mm-hmm. [00:40:00] And then there was also an era in which you did glamor shots.

Oh. Which maybe we can get you to send some glamor shots our away. Yes. So you can see 

Candi: Yes. 

Andrea: Like 

Candi: I 

Andrea: just saw those. A a leather motorcycle jacket and like coifed hair. 

Candi: Oh, 

Andrea: are you talking? 

Candi: Are you talking about you? 

Andrea: Both. Okay. I mean, yeah. I feel like those need to probably see Yeah. The, the light of the internet.

Mm-hmm. Wow. 

Gerry: You, you were taking the glamor shots. 

Candi: Oh, oh yeah. We actually did the makeup. We had a photographer there to do the pictures. 

Andrea: They were incredible. 

Gerry: Yo, I got gimme some 

Candi: glamor shots. Here's the reality. Um, my husband was very, uh, hesitant to watch Napoleon Dynamite. Because he is Napoleon without the dancing skills.

And I'm Deb. So yeah, 

she's 

Candi: Deb. So we were Deb and Napoleon and we laughed so hard at that absolutely ridiculous movie. 

Andrea: And they have since dressed up as Deb and [00:41:00] Napoleon, by the way, for Halloween. Oh, you gotta send that picture in too, so we can share it with people. Yeah. But true story. 

Gerry: What, what, what's like a, a movie couple.

You would compare Andrea and Steven to. 

Candi: Oh, 

Andrea: I have one 

Gerry: immediately. Do 

you 

Andrea: have 

Gerry: one? 

Andrea: I have one immediately. 

Candi: Well, well, it would be, it would be, um, uh, parks and Rec, uh, with Oh yeah, with Ron Swanson. Steven is hands down Ron Swanson. And, 

Andrea: and Tammy too. 

Candi: And, yeah. And, and so Andrea, I don't know that they were actually was, it was, were they were a couple though.

Were they in there? Was that his wife in there? 

Andrea: No, the blonde. No, that wasn't his wife. 

Candi: Yeah. So, but definitely Steven is Ron Swanson. 

Andrea: Yeah. 

Candi: Yeah, for 

Andrea: sure. Okay. Got a out. Um, okay, well we need to wrap up our time. Did you have any like, last questions, Jerry, for my mom before we let her go? Uh,

Gerry: I think that's it. I gotta figure out how to get. Uh, [00:42:00] California, you know, 

Candi: you go down to 

Gerry: the dmv, I'm, I'm gonna be like Borat in the van. 

Candi: Jerry, you go down to the d MV and you say, I need a real id. Mm-hmm. I believe in you. I believe 

Gerry: you can do it. Get, I'm gonna get down there. I'm gonna get the real id.

Andrew's gonna bring me the open for 

Andrea: Yeah, sure. 

Gerry: Why not that I'm come down there. 

Candi: That's right. Perfect. Absolutely. 

Andrea: Um, alright, well this is part one of two Mother's Day episodes that we are having. I hope you guys enjoyed getting a little sneak peek into, um, who My mom is. Mom, happy Early Mother's Day right now.

Thank you. Happy Mother's Day. Thank you so much for coming on today, and if you guys have thoughts about what we talk today, you can contact us, andrea@humancontent.com, or you can contact me at Educator Andrea. Um, or you can contact Jerry at 

Gerry: comedy by gp. 

Andrea: Nailed it. Um, or you can [00:43:00] contact the whole Human Content Podcast family on Instagram and TikTok at Human Content Pods.

And thank you so much to those of you guys who have left wonderful feedback and comments and reviews. If you haven't done that yet, please do, and you can catch the full video episodes. They're up every week on YouTube at Educator. Andrea, thank you so much for listening. I'm your host, Andrea Forke. 

Gerry: I'm Jerry Patco.

Andrea: And our guest today was my mom, mama Neil Kandy Neil, and our executive producers are Andrew Ham, Aron Korney, Rob Goldman, Ashanti Brook. Our editor is Andrew Sims. Our engineer is Jason Portizo. Our music is by Omer Ben-Zvi. And to learn more about how to survive the classrooms program dis. Claimer and ethics policy and submission verification in licensing terms.

You can go to podcast or andrea.com. How to Survive the Classroom is a human content production.

Thank you so much for watching. Want more of how to Survive the classroom? [00:44:00] You can watch more episodes right now. Just click on that little box over there, you see it, and if you haven't yet, please subscribe. Okay, bye.